For many people, nighttime is not the calmest part of the day. Your mind keeps replaying conversations. Tomorrow's to-do-lists pop up.
And sometimes you feel pressure to sleep, which only makes it harder.
In this four-night course, you’ll practice bringing selfgentleness into the way you end your day.
Selfgentleness means radically accepting yourself as the most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness. And at night, that can look surprisingly simple.
Over four evenings, you will:
• Let the day be done without reviewing or fixing it
• Relate differently to a busy mind
• Release the pressure to fall asleep
• Close the day in a way that allows a natural reset
Each lesson begins with a short reflection and then gently moves into a guided practice to help your body soften and drift toward rest.
There is nothing to perform correctly. No special techniques to master. No breath control.
You can repeat these four nights as often as you like.
This course is especially supportive if:
• Your mind doesn’t easily switch off
• You feel tired but wired at bedtime
• You sometimes worry about not sleeping
• You want to end your day in a kinder way
Sleep is not something we force. It is something we allow. And sometimes (or maybe often), allowing begins with selfgentleness.
The lessons are accompanied by the beautiful music created by fellow Insight Timer teacher and dear friend Tom Evans
Dr. Femke E. Bakker is a selfgentleness teacher, behavioral scientist, and TEDx speaker. She explores what it means to be selfgentle: radically accepting yourself as the most important person to consistently deserve your own gentleness. Especially in those moments when old patterns creep in and caring for your own wellbeing suddenly feels off.
Femke's work blends behavioral science, meditation, and lived experience into clear, selfgentle practices that help you remember: you don’t need to fix yourself anymore. She is also a professor at Leiden University, where she studies leadership, beliefs, stress release during crisis decision making and the impact of meditation on social and political processes.
For those who’ve done the inner work and are now ready to stop working and start living with more ease and joy, Femke created the Selfgentleness Academy. It’s a safe and encouraging space, self-paced or shared with likeminded others, where you can get steady in the art of selfgentleness, no matter what life throws at you.
On Insight Timer, Femke offers courses to help you bring selfgentleness into your personal and professional life. Every second Friday of the month, she hosts The Selfgentleness Hour LIVE (3:30pm EST), where you can experience her guidance in real time....
Les 1
Let The Day Be Done
End the day without reviewing, fixing, or improving it. In this first night, you’ll practice gently setting today down so your body no longer has to carry it into the night. Through simple guidance and spacious pauses, you’ll learn how to let the day be done and allow your system to begin resting naturally. The meditation is accompanied by the beautiful music created by fellow Insight Timer teacher Tom Evans
Les 2
When The Mind Won’t Switch Off
If your mind keeps replaying conversations or planning tomorrow, this night helps you relate to that differently. Instead of trying to stop your thoughts, you’ll practice letting them be present while your body softens into support. Discover how rest is still possible, even when the mind is active. The meditation is accompanied by the beautiful music created by fellow Insight Timer teacher Tom Evans
Les 3
When You’re Afraid You Won’t Sleep
Sleep anxiety can quietly build pressure at bedtime. In this practice, you’ll gently remove the need to succeed at sleeping. By shifting from “I need to sleep” to “I’m allowed to rest,” you create space for your nervous system to settle on its own. Nothing to force. Nothing to get right.
The meditation is accompanied by the beautiful music created by fellow Insight Timer teacher Tom Evans
Les 4
Closing The Day As A Reset
This final night brings everything together. You’ll close the day with calm acknowledgment instead of analysis, and allow the night to do its natural resetting work. With simple guidance and repetition, you’ll practice ending the day in a way you can return to again and again.
The meditation is accompanied by the beautiful music created by fellow Insight Timer teacher Tom Evans.