Who Am I?

Who am I?

A deep question.

And one that I don't necessarily think I'll ever find the answer to.

But I think I could feel it.

I think I'll never be able to intellectualise it.

But I think I can feel it.

Who I am.

And that's the important thing.

It's how you feel about yourself.

It's how you connect with yourself.

It's not about getting all the answers in life.

It's something that I used to do a lot,

Was chase the answers.

And try to solve everything.

And try to come to a conclusion with everything.

Because that's what your ego wants to do.

That's what the mind wants to do.

It wants you to chase.

It wants you to explore and find its way of surviving.

By having an answer,

A definitive black and white conclusion to who you are.

The ego can exist more powerfully in that way.

And yeah,

For a long time I think I was ego-driven.

Not necessarily in the sense of,

You know,

Being a narcissist or anything like that.

I think that I was just chasing these answers in my life relentlessly.

And forgetting that the best I ever felt was when I was connected.

And I was never truly connected to myself,

To the world around me.

When I was chasing answers all the time.

When I think of my memories,

The best memories in my life.

They were,

Most of the time,

In fact pretty much all of the time,

Outdoors.

When I was in nature,

When I was at the beach,

When I was in a field with my friends.

You know,

I've got all these memories going through my mind right now.

Why is that?

Why is it that when I was outdoors and experiencing and feeling and connected and grounded.

Why is it that I felt most like myself in that moment?

Not when I was trying to find the answers and intellectualise why I'm here and what life is about.

I'm not saying it's a negative thing to do.

I'm not saying it's a negative thought pattern to explore.

But I'm just saying that it's tiring chasing the answers all the time.

And sometimes it's nice just to let go and be here in this moment.

I'll be honest,

I don't have the answer as to why that feels good to do or feels good to hear.

I don't think anyone truly does.

There may be some people out there that call themselves gurus,

Pretend to have all the answers and will say,

Well,

It's this specific frequency and it will open up this.

You know,

I think that there's no true answer as to why that helps me feel grounded or connected,

But it does.

And I'm okay with that.

I'm okay with not knowing everything.

And that's one of the messages that I really want to get across in my videos here on Insight Time.

It is,

I'm not some guru with all the answers.

I'm just a person like you,

Getting through life,

Just wanting to feel okay.

And I've come to the recognition that being grounded is the most important and healthiest thing that I can do for myself.

And that's just the message I want to convey here today is,

You're not going to always get every answer to the questions you're asking.

But in the silence,

You may find connection.

And it may help you feel a little bit okay with not having all the answers.

Because I think people get to the end of their life sometimes,

Trying to constantly build and build and build and find and explore and seek and seek and seek.

And they miss what's right in front of them.

I don't want to be that person at the end of my life that has regrets that I wasn't here.

I wasn't present.

I want to be real.

I want to feel connected.

Yeah,

That's my message today.