Why You Feel This Way: The Polyvagal Ladder

Have you ever wondered why you can feel completely calm one moment?

And then suddenly anxious,

Overwhelmed,

Or even shut down the neck.

That's not random.

That's your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do.

And one of the simplest ways to understand this is through something called the polyvagal ladder.

Think of your nervous system like a ladder with three main levels.

At the top of the ladder is what's called the ventral vagal state.

This is where we feel safe and connected.

You're present.

You can think clearly.

You can feel like yourself.

This is where you can engage in conversations,

Make decisions,

And feel grounded.

In the middle of the letter,

We have what's called the fight or flight state or the sympathetic state.

This is where anxiety lives.

You might feel.

.

.

Restless,

Overwhelmed.

Irritable like your mind is racing.

Your body is preparing to deal with a perceived threat,

Even if that threat is just an email,

A conversation,

Or pressure you're putting on yourself.

At the bottom of the ladder,

We have what's called shutdown or the dorsal vagal state.

This can feel like numbness,

Exhaustion.

Disconnection,

Or feeling stuck.

This isn't laziness.

This is your nervous system conserving energy because it doesn't feel safe enough to stay activated.

Here's the part most people don't realize.

You don't consciously choose these states.

And you move from one to the other throughout the entire day.

Your nervous system is constantly scanning your environment and your internal world for cues of safety and danger.

And based on that,

It moves up or down the ladder.

So if you've ever thought.

.

.

Why can't I just calm down?

Or why do I shut down like this?

The answer isn't willpower.

It's your nervous system And this is where things get really important.

You cannot jump from the bottom of the ladder all the way up to the top.

It would be great if we could.

So if you're feeling shut down,

Telling yourself,

Just be positive won't work.

If you're anxious,

Forcing yourself to relax often backfires.

Instead,

The goal is to move one step at a time.

You're anxious,

You might slow your breath.

Feel your feet on the ground or the earth.

Or orient yourself to your surroundings.

You're shut down you might gently bring in movement stretching standing up or even just opening your eyes a little wider small supportive cues.

Tell your nervous system you're safe enough right now.

The goal isn't to be calm all the time.

The goal is to understand your nervous system so you can work with it instead of against it.

Because when you do that You don't just feel better you feel more in control.

More grounded.

And more like yourself.

If this resonated,

I'll be sharing more tools to help you regulate your nervous system in real time.

My name is Monica Pitek-Fugetti.

Thank you for joining.