Hello,
I'm Anne Sussman,
Founder of Mindfulness Meeting Place and the author of the Bliss Buddy project,
How Sharing Gratitude Increases Joy.
Today we'll practice gratitude for our private moments,
For the gift of silence.
How many of us keep ourselves busy with distractions because becoming quiet can be quite scary sometimes.
Often we turn on the TV or ask Alexa to play our song list,
Just so we're distracted by some noise and not alone with the quiet.
We might have to face our thoughts and feelings if we're quiet,
Maybe even our shadow selves,
A part of us we would rather not get to know.
When we see someone sitting alone by themselves,
We may think that person lonely or an outsider,
But the possibility is that sometimes those people who are alone are bearing the gift of solitude.
When you have a house full of people and you feel the need to escape for just a few minutes,
The quiet you crave,
The solitude you find,
Feeds your soul.
The more you can tap into the gift of silence,
The deeper your connection to your true self.
Meditating daily is the surest way to become comfortable with silence,
To learn to relish it.
The time you spend each day in meditation is a vacation for your brain.
As part of my practice,
I attend extended day silent retreats.
I have worked my way up from doing a first one day,
Then three,
Five,
And this year a seven day silent retreat.
My friends and family and students too are dubious about whether or not they could ever be in silence for that long.
Honestly,
The best part for me of these long retreats and the easiest part is being silent.
People who know me think that's kind of funny because I tend to talk often in my life.
I often find meditating sometimes seven hours a day the more challenging part of these retreats.
At the end of each retreat,
There is time for question and answers from the teacher leading it.
I remember my question at the three day retreat I attended a number of years ago.
This one was being jointly led by Norman Fisher,
Abbot of the Zen Center in San Francisco and the late Rabbi Rachel Cowan,
Co-founder of the Institute for Jewish Spirituality in New York City.
I remember asking,
How can I take this silence home with me?
I just loved it so much.
The answer was simple yet profound and has made a great impact on me.
My teacher,
Rabbi Rachel Cowan said,
Wait,
W-A-I-T.
The letters stand for why am I talking?
This was a gift to me that I carry always,
Resting in the silence,
Not needing to take up space in a conversation.
We often just talk to fill up the silence,
The gaps that make us uncomfortable.
Meditation allows you to become familiar with silence.
You may or may not know,
But seclusion is a powerful gift that allows you to cultivate many things within yourself.
Each day,
Commit to sitting in silence for just a bit.
If you choose to listen to guided meditations,
That's wonderful,
But add in a few minutes each day of sitting in silence.
Maybe turn off your car radio while you drive,
Take a walk or a run outside without your headphones.
Sit in your living room for a few minutes,
Maybe even in the dark before you head to bed and put on the television so you can fall asleep.
All of these ways give you the gift of solitude and your soul will thank you.
So let's practice gratitude for silence and keep in mind the essentials for the practice.
Remember it's okay to have thoughts in meditation.
You're never going to clear your mind.
Just notice when your attention has wandered to thought and then gently shift back and find the rhythm of your breath again.
Doesn't matter how many times you return from thought to breath,
From thought to breath,
That is the practice.
You're doing it just right.
Don't try too hard at this.
It's a really gentle shifting of your attention.
No heavy concentration necessary.
Let go of expectations and be kind to yourself.
Stick with the practice over days,
Weeks,
Months and years.
Changes that meditation will bring to your life are subtle yet profound.
So let's begin.
Come to find a comfortable seat upright if that is comfortable for you and relaxed.
Minimize your distractions for our time together.
And when you're ready,
Gently close your eyes and begin by taking a few long,
Slow deep breaths in and out of your nose.
Feeling the breath right now,
Knowing that you're safe,
Grounded and present,
Making this choice to meditate.
Even as you listen to the sound of the chime,
You can now let your breath return to its natural depth and rhythm.
No need to control your breath anymore.
You may notice your breath speeds up or slows down,
But your breath knows exactly how to take care of you.
Notice the temperature on your skin,
The warmth or coolness of the air.
Notice the sounds around you.
Sounds in the room,
Distant sounds outside.
Sounds need not be a barrier to your meditation.
In this practice,
You want to welcome everything internally and externally,
Resisting nothing.
Let's bring some relaxation to the body,
Beginning with the top of the head,
Softening the scalp,
Unfurling the brow,
Allowing the face to be soft,
No expression necessary.
Checking in with the jaw,
Seeing if you might need to unclench just a little bit,
Allowing the tongue to rest comfortably in the mouth,
Inviting the shoulders to soften down the back away from the ears.
Checking in with the spine,
From the base of the spine to the top of the head,
Reaching tall,
Holding the body in a posture that feels like dignity to you,
Relaxed and alert.
Softening the front body from the top of the chest on down through the diaphragm and allowing the belly to be soft and easy,
Like a great big Buddha belly.
Bringing your attention to the right arm,
Softening the shoulder,
The elbow,
All the way to the fingertips.
And then the left arm,
Letting go of any tension you might be holding there from the shoulder on down through the elbow,
All the way to the fingertips.
Noticing the pelvis sinking a little bit deeper into the cushion,
And seeing if you can notice the cushion rising up in reciprocity to support you,
To hold you in your practice.
Seeing the right hip softening,
The right leg down through the knee,
All the way to the toes.
And then the left leg,
Letting go of any tension you might be holding there from the hip on down through the knee,
All the way to the toes.
Feeling your body,
Seeing if there's any place you might have missed that's calling for some ease or comfort.
Knowing in this practice you can always shift or move if you need to,
And trying to sit as still as you can.
And turning your attention now inward to the interior of you,
Coming to notice any tingling or pulsing,
Any sensations arising in the body.
That is your aliveness,
Alive in our body as we almost never notice.
And now come to find your breath wherever that's most obvious for you.
That might be at the tip of the nose,
Noticing the cool air coming in through the nostrils,
Leaving a bit warmer above your upper lip.
For you,
You might notice the breath most in the rise and fall of the chest or the belly.
Just resting your attention on the sensations of breathing,
And the expansion as you breathe in space,
And the contraction as you breathe out.
When you notice your attention wanders to thought,
As it will over and over again,
Gently shift back,
Find the rhythm of your breath.
And today as we meditate on gratitude for the silence,
We'll begin by dropping the breath deep into the belly.
Letting it move deep into the body,
And as you find the breath there,
Pay particular attention to the out-breath as you follow the out-breath to the space between the breaths,
To that place right before the exhale turns to an inhale once again.
Resting your attention in that place at the bottom of the exhale,
There you'll find the silence.
It's the most quiet you can find.
Resting your attention in that quiet space,
Begin to feel the gratitude for the silence.
Resting your attention in that space,
Begin to feel the gratitude for the silence.
Resting your attention in that space,
Begin to feel the gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence that you find at the end of the out-breath deep in the belly.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude as you rest in the deep silence at the end of the out-breath.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Returning to the gratitude that you feel as you rest in this deep silence at the bottom of the belly at the end of the exhale.
We'll sit in stillness just a little longer until you hear the sound of the chime.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Resting in the feeling of gratitude for the silence.
Okay to reflect on gratitude for silence.
I'd like to leave you with a quote from William Penn,
The English nobleman,
Writer,
Early Quaker and founder of the American colony,
Pennsylvania.
He wrote,
True silence is the rest for the mind and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body,
Nourishment and refreshment.
I love that silence is nourishment and refreshment for the spirit.
So I hope you spend a few minutes in silence today.
Thank you and I wish you peace.
