Welcome,
And I hope that each one of you will come to find peace within yourself.
Today I'm going to talk a little bit about progress over perfection.
And this meditation is based on a live session I did recently.
And I think this is a beautiful meditation topic because it gently challenges one of the most common forms of suffering,
The belief that we're not allowed to be where we are.
But first of all,
I want you to think about this.
Perfection is a destination that never arrives.
Whereas progress is a path you can walk today.
Perfection says,
I'll be okay once I get there.
Progress says,
I'm already moving.
Many people sit down expecting a perfect meditation,
A quiet mind,
A peaceful heart,
A flawless concentration.
And then they spend the entire session feeling like they failed.
But the practice was never about having a quiet mind.
The practice is noticing that the mind has wandered and returning.
Every return is progress.
Here's a metaphor.
Imagine standing by a river.
Perfection wants the river to stop flowing.
.
.
.
So the surface can become perfectly still.
It spends its energy fighting the current.
Whereas progress sits beside the river.
And learns its nature.
Each day it becomes a little more familiar with the water,
With the curves and the bends and the eddies and the rocks beneath the surface.
The river never becomes perfect.
But the relationship with the river deepens.
Meditation is much the same.
In many ways,
Perfection is often fear,
Wearing a fancy costume.
Sometimes when we say we're pursuing excellence,
Underneath we're afraid.
Afraid of mistakes.
Afraid of judgment.
Afraid of being seen as imperfect.
Progress by contract requires courage.
It says I'm willing to be a beginner today.
And every skill you've ever developed came through imperfect repetitions.
Think about that.
Nobody learns to canoe,
Or play music,
Or love deeply,
Or live wisely through perfection.
You don't learn to meditate through perfection either.
You learn through thousands of small adjustments.
So what if the goal of the practice isn't becoming a perfect meditator?
But becoming more intimate with your actual experience.
An oak tree doesn't criticize itself for not yet being a forest.
And a river doesn't apologize for not yet reaching the sea.
They simply continue their unfolding.
And so should you.
Close your eyes now and let's get in touch with our breath.
And it doesn't matter if you're sitting,
Standing,
Lying down,
Or kicked back in your favorite recliner.
The only thing that truly matters when you meditate is that you're comfortable and alert.
So start to settle in,
Just arrive at this moment.
Notice your breath.
We're just breathing in and breathing out one breath at a time and then the next and Then the next and that is the present moment everyone seeks one breath at a time One inhale.
One exhale.
Let's scan our body.
Relax your face.
I think it's way too tense.
Unfurl your brow and unclench your jaw.
Relax your shoulders.
I raise mine up and let them drop,
But you can do whatever makes you happy,
Because it's always your meditation.
I'm just a guide,
And yes,
I'm a guide who's been doing this longer than some of you have been alive,
But just a guide.
I do what makes me happy when I meditate,
And you need to do the same.
Relax your arms and your hands.
Look for any tension in your chest and belly.
Relax your legs and your feet.
And as you begin to relax,
Let's focus even more on our breath.
Our breath is like a river as it flows in and flows out.
It's our anchor,
And it's there for us in all moments.
If you have thoughts,
Just let them go.
They're like waves on a lake or leaves going downstream on a river.
And the same goes for sounds you might hear.
Just let them go.
And for the next little while give yourself permission to set down the need to improve anything.
There's nothing to fix.
There's nothing to achieve.
There's nothing to perfect.
There's just this moment,
Just this breath,
Just this life exactly as it is.
So take a long,
Easy breath in and a slow breath out and do it again.
Breathing in and breathing out one breath at a time.
And it's just that simple.
One breath.
Allow your body to arrive.
Allow your mind to arrive.
Just let yourself arrive.
Now notice the gentle rhythm of your breathing.
There's no need to control it.
No need to make it deeper or quieter or faster or slower.
The breath already knows what to do.
And perhaps that's our first lesson.
Life doesn't unfold through perfection.
It unfolds through movement.
One breath following another.
One moment following another.
One step following another.
Now here I'm going to pause for one minute to let you think and breathe and relax and I'll be back in one minute.
Now just continue to follow your breath and listen to my voice.
Imagine now that you're sitting beside a river.
Not a dramatic river.
Not a wild river.
Just a steady flowing river moving through a beautiful landscape.
And you sit comfortably on the bank.
And you watch the water passing by.
Notice that the river is not trying to become a river.
It already is one.
It simply flows.
Sometimes quickly.
Sometimes slowly.
It's sometimes clear.
And sometimes muddy.
Sometimes agitated and sometimes calm.
Get through every condition.
It continues moving toward the sea.
Now as you watch this river,
Reflect on your own life.
How often have you waited to feel at peace until everything was just right?
How often have you imagined that happiness was waiting somewhere ahead?
Maybe after one more improvement.
Or maybe just one more accomplishment.
Or one more correction.
Or one more version of yourself.
Many of us have spent years chasing perfection.
Believing that if we could finally get everything right,
We could finally rest.
Yet in my life I've found that perfection has a curious habit.
Every time we approach it,
It moves a little further away.
The finish line shifts.
Or the standards change.
Or the goalposts move.
And the mind says,
Almost,
Not yet,
Keep striving.
The river knows nothing of this.
The river never says,
I will flow tomorrow when I have removed every rock.
The river never says I'll begin once the water is perfectly clear.
It simply flows.
With the rocks,
With the bends,
With the seasons,
With whatever conditions arise.
And perhaps progress is much the same.
Progress isn't a perfect river.
Progress is a flowing river.
Now take a few moments to breathe quietly as you picture the river continuing its journey.
Now imagine placing into the river some of the standards you've carried,
The expectations,
The comparisons,
The places where you've judged yourself harshly,
The belief that you should be further along than you are.
The belief that you should have figured it all out by now.
Notice what happens as these expectations gently float away downstream.
You don't have to force them away.
Just place them in the current.
And let the river carry them.
Perhaps one of those expectations has a voice.
A voice that says,
You should be doing better.
Or maybe you should be more productive.
Or you should be different.
See if you can hear that voice without fighting it.
And then ask yourself.
What if that voice isn't wisdom?
What if it's simply fear?
Fear dressed as perfection.
Fear trying to protect you from failure.
Or from disappointment.
Or from judgment.
Thank the voice for trying to help,
And then let it rest.
Like a leaf floating away on the current.
Now bring your attention back to your breath,
Back to the river,
And back to this moment.
In meditation we often think we're failing whenever the mind wanders.
Yet imagine judging a river because it curves.
Imagine criticizing water because it moves around a stone.
The wandering is not the failure.
The returning is the practice.
Every time you notice you've become distracted,
That's awareness.
Every time you return,
That's progress.
Every moment of remembering that progress was as well.
In every moment of beginning again.
That's progress.
And,
In fact,
The entire path is beginning again.
Over and over.
With kindness.
With patience.
With humility.
Consider for a moment all the growth that has happened in your life.
The wisdom.
The resilience.
Tenderness.
The understanding.
Much of it didn't arrive through success.
It arrived through mistakes,
Through uncertainty.
Through getting lost and through starting over.
I know it has in my life.
Through discovering that you were stronger than you thought.
Like a river shaping a stone,
Not through force,
But through persistence,
Not through perfection,
But through continued flow.
Take a few more breaths and reflect.
Where in my life am I demanding perfection?
And where might progress be enough?
Perhaps there's an area of your life where you feel stuck.
Relationship.
A habit.
.
.
.
A creative project.
A spiritual practice,
Or a personal dream.
Imagine bringing that part of your life to the river.
Instead of asking,
How do I perfect this?
Ask what would one small step forward look like?
Just one.
One honest step.
One compassionate step.
One realistic step.
The river never reaches the ocean all at once.
It arrives one flowing moment at a time,
And so do we.
Feel the truth of that in your own body.
You do not have to become a perfect person.
You do not have to force your way into worthiness.
You do not have to earn your right to be here.
You are already part of the unfolding,
Already part of the flow.
Already part of the river.
Take a breath in and slowly breathe it out.
As we prepare to close,
Imagine standing and taking one last look at the river.
Notice how naturally it moves.
How effortlessly it trusts its path.
How completely it participates in its own unfolding.
And perhaps you can offer yourself the same permission.
To unfold.
To learn.
To stumble.
And to begin again.
And to grow.
Let these words settle gently into your heart.
I do not need to be perfect.
I only need to be present.
I do not need to arrive.
I only need to continue.
I do not need to become someone else.
I only need to take the next honest step.
One breath.
One moment.
One step.
One current.
Flowing steadily towards a wider sea.
Now take in a final breath through your nose and let it out through your mouth letting out a sigh.
And when you're ready,
Open your eyes and come back into the room and wiggle your fingers and toes and stretch and feel how good it is to be alive.
And carry the wisdom of the river with you.
Not perfection,
Progress.
Not arrival,
Flow.
Not becoming unfolding.
The river never wonders how far it still has to go.
It simply gives itself completely to this bend in the journey.
I hope this has been a beneficial and calming session for each and every one of you.
This has been an important session for me.
Because I'm coming up on 57 years of meditating and I still don't have it perfect,
But I have it right for me and I can feel my growth from when I first started in 1970.
If you follow my meditations you know I like quotes and I have one for you today.
Philosopher Aristotle said.
Excellence is a habit rather than a one-time act.
True skill and virtue come from doing things repeatedly until they become a part of your nature.
I agree completely.
I hope you'll join me again.
Till next time.
