The Phoenix And The Carpet, Chapter 9

In this satisfying continuation of Edith Nesbit's wonderful children's novel, the burglar gets arrested for the supposed theft of the Persian cats and the children realize they must try to rescue him - and take him somewhere the police can't find him.

Transcript

Hello, It's Mandy here. Welcome back to The Phoenix and the Carpet by E. Nesbitt. We're going to be reading chapter nine tonight, The Burglar's Bride. But before I start, Please make sure that you're feeling really comfortable. Just make any of those last minute adjustments you might need to do and snuggle down into the surface that you're sitting or lying on. And I'll begin. The morning after the adventure of the Persian cats, The muskrats, The common cow and the uncommon burglar, All the children slept till it was 10 o'clock. And then it was only Cyril who woke, But he attended to the others so that by half past 10 everyone was ready to help to get breakfast. It was shivery cold and there was but little in the house that was really worth eating. Robert had arranged a thoughtful little surprise for the absent servants. He had made a neat and delightful booby trap over the kitchen door and as soon as they heard the front door click open and knew the servants had come back, All four children hid in the cupboard under the stairs and listened with delight to the entrance, The tumble, The splash, The scuffle and the remarks of the servants. They heard the cook say it was a judgment on them for leaving the place to itself. She seemed to think that a booby trap was a kind of plant that was quite likely to grow all by itself in a dwelling that was left shut up. But the housemaid, More acute, Judged that somebody must have been in the house, A view confirmed by the sight of the breakfast things on the nursery table. The cupboard under the stairs was very tight and paraffin-y however, And a silent struggle for a place on top ended in the door bursting open and discharging Jane, Who rolled like a football to the feet of the servants. Now, Said Cyril firmly, When the cook's hysterics had become quieter and the housemaid had time to say what she thought of them, Don't you begin jawing us? Whether we tell on you or not depends on you. If you're decent to us, We'll be decent to you. You'd better make an extra special treacle roly for dinner. The servants gave in once and for all. There's nothing like firmness, Cyril went on, When the breakfast things were cleared away and the children were alone in the nursery. We can do what we like now and they won't preach. Let's go somewhere by carpet. I wouldn't if I were you, Said the phoenix, Yawning as it swooped down from its roost on the curtain pole. I've given you one or two hints but now concealment is at an end and I see I must speak out. It perched on the back of a chair and swayed to and fro like a parrot on a swing. What's the matter now, Said Anthea. She was not quite so gentle as usual because she was still weary from the excitement of last night's cats. I'm tired of things happening. I shan't go anywhere on the carpet. The phoenix opened and shut its wings thoughtfully. The carpet, It said. Look at the bare worn patches. Look at the great rent at yonder corner. The carpet has been your faithful friend, Your willing servant. How have you requited its devoted service? Dear phoenix, Anthea urged, Don't talk in that horrid lecturing tone. You make me feel as I'd done something wrong. And really it is a wishing carpet and we haven't done anything else to it, Only wishes. Only wishes, Repeated the phoenix, Ruffling its neck feathers angrily. And what sort of wishes? Wishing people to be in a good temper, For instance. What carpet did you ever hear of that had such a wish asked of it? But this noble fabric on which you trample so recklessly, Everyone removed its boots from the carpet and stood on the linoleum. This carpet never flinched. It did what you asked, But the wear and tear must have been awful. And then last night, I don't blame you about the cats and the rats, For those were its own choice, But what carpet could stand a heavy cow hanging on to it at one corner? I should think the cats and rats were worse, Said Robert. Look at their claws. Yes, Said the bird, Eleven thousand nine hundred and forty of them. I dare say you noticed. I should be surprised if these had not left their mark. Good gracious, Said Jane, Sitting down suddenly on the floor and patting the edge of the carpet softly. Do you mean it's wearing out? Its life with you has not been a luxurious one, Said the phoenix. French mud, Twice. Sand of sunny shores, Twice. Soaking in southern seas, Once. India, Once. Goodness knows where in Persia, Once. Muskrat land, Once. And once wherever the cow came from. Hold your carpet up to the light and with cautious tenderness, If you please. With cautious tenderness, The boys held the carpet up to the light. The girls looked and a shiver of regret ran through them as they saw how those eleven thousand nine hundred and forty claws had run through the carpet. It was full of little holes. There were some large ones and more than one thin place. And at one corner, A strip of it was torn and hung forlornly. We must mend it, Said Anthea. So out they all went and brought wool to mend the carpet. But there is no shop in Camden town where you can buy wishing wool. No, Nor in Kentish town either. However, Ordinary scotch heather mixture fingering seemed good enough. And this they bought. And all that day, Jane and Anthea darned and darned and darned. The boys went out for a walk in the afternoon and the gentle phoenix paced up and down the table for exercise, As it said, And talked to the industrious girls about their carpet. The princess Zuleika, Fairest of royal ladies, Began the bird, Had in her cradle been the subject of several enchantments. Her grandmother had been in her day. But what in her day Zuleika's grandmother had been was destined never to be revealed, For Cyril and Robert suddenly burst into the room and on each brow were the traces of deep emotion. On Cyril's pale brow stood beads of agitation and perspiration, And on the scarlet brow of Robert was a large black smear. What has happened, Said the bird, And Anthea and Jane paused with long needles poised in the air and long needle fulls of scotch heather mixture fingering wool drooping from them. The most awful thing you can possibly think of, Said Cyril. That nice chap, Our own burglar, The police have got him on suspicion of stolen cats. That's what his brother's missus told me. Oh begin at the beginning, Cried Anthea impatiently. Well we went out and down by where the undertaker's is there was a crowd and of course we went to have a squint and it was two bobbies and our burglar between them and he was being dragged along and he said I'll tell you them cats was give me. I got them in exchange for me milking a cow in a basement parlour up Camden Town way. And the people laughed, Beasts. And then one of the policemen said perhaps he could give the name and address of the cow and he said no he couldn't but he could take them there if they'd only leave go of his coat collar and give him a chance to get his breath. And the policeman said he could tell all that to the magistrate in the morning. He didn't see us and so we came away. Oh Cyril how could you, Said Anthea. Don't be a pudding head, Cyril said. A fat lot of good it would have done if we'd let him see us. No one would have believed a word we said. They'd have thought we were kidding. We did better than let him see us. We asked a boy where he lived and he told us and we went there and it's a little greengrocer's shop and we bought some Brazil nuts. Here they are. The girls waved away the Brazil nuts. Well we had to buy something and while we were making up our minds what to buy we heard his brother's missus talking. She said when he came home with all them meowlers she thought there was more to it than met the eye. But he would go out this morning with the two likeliest of them, One under each arm. She said he sent her out to buy blue ribbon to put around their beastly necks and she said if he got three months hard it was her dying word that he got the blue ribbon to thank for it. That and his own silly thieving ways, Taking cats that anybody would know he couldn't have come by in the way of business instead of things that wouldn't have been missed which lord knows there are plenty such. Oh stop cried Jane and indeed it was time for Cyril seemed like a clock that had been wound up and could not help going on and on. Where is he now? At the police station said Robert. The boy told us they put him in the cells and would bring him up before the beak in the morning. I thought it was a jolly lark last night getting him to take the cats but now the end of a lark said the phoenix is the beak. Let's go to him cried both the girls jumping up. Let's go and tell the truth they must believe us. They can't said Cyril. Just think if anyone came to you with such a tale you couldn't believe it however much you tried. We would only make things worse for him. Oh there must be something we could do said Jane sniffing. He was so nice the way he talked about how he was going to be so extra honest. Dear phoenix you must be able to help us. You're so good and kind and pretty and clever. Do do tell us what to do. The phoenix rubbed its beak thoughtfully with its claw. You might rescue him it said and conceal him here till the law supporters had forgotten about him. That would be ages and ages said Cyril and we couldn't conceal him here. Father might come home any moment and if he found the burglar here he wouldn't believe the truth any more than the police. That's the worst thing about the truth no one ever believes it. Couldn't we take him somewhere else? Jane clapped her hands. The sunny southern shore she cried where the cook is being queen. He and she would be company for each other and really the idea did not seem bad if only he would consent to go. So all talking at once the children arranged to wait till evening and then to seek the dear burglar in his lonely cell. Meantime Jane and Anthea darned away as hard as they could to make the carpet as strong as possible for all felt how terrible it would be if the precious burglar while being carried to the sunny southern shore were to tumble through a hole in the carpet and be lost forever in the sunny southern sea. When the phoenix reported that both servants were snoring the children got up they had never undressed just putting their nightgowns on over their things had been enough to deceive Eliza. So they were ready for anything and they stood on the carpet and said I wish we were in our burglar's lonely cell and instantly they were. No one doubted that the burglar chained by heavy fetters to a ring in the damp stone wall would be tossing uneasily on a bed of straw with a pitcher of water and a mouldering crust untasted beside him. Robert remembering the underground passage and the treasure had bought a candle and matches but these were not needed. The cell was a little whitewashed room on one side of it was a shelf sloping towards the wall on this were two rugs striped blue and yellow and a waterproof pillow rolled in those rugs and with his head on that pillow lay the burglar fast asleep. He'd had his tea though this the children didn't know it had come from the coffee shop around the corner. The scene was revealed by the light of a gas lamp in the passage outside which shone through a pane of thick glass over the door. I shall gag him said Cyril and Robert will hold him down. Anthea and Jane and the phoenix can whisper soft nothings to him while he gradually wakes. This plan did not have the success it deserved because the burglar was much stronger even in his sleep than Robert and Cyril and at the first touch of their hands he leapt up and shouted out something very loud indeed. Instantly steps were heard outside. Anthea threw her arms around the burglar and whispered it's us the ones that gave you the cats we've come to save you only don't let on we're here can we hide somewhere. Heavy boots sounded on the flagged passage outside and a voice shouted hear you stop that row will you. All right governor replied the burglar still with Anthea's arms around him. I was only a talking in my sleep no offence. It was an awful moment with the boots and the voice come in yes no. The voice said well stow it will you and the boots went heavily away along the passage and up some stairs. Ah the blue Moses did you get in asked the burglar in a hoarse whisper of amazement. On the carpet said Jane truly. Stow that said the burglar. Look here said Cyril sternly you wouldn't have believed anyone if they told you beforehand about your finding a cow and all those cats in our nursery. That I wouldn't said the burglar with whispered fervor so help me Bob I wouldn't. Well then Cyril went on ignoring this appeal to his brother just try to believe what we tell you and act accordingly it can't do you any harm you know. You can't be very much worse off than you are now but if you just trust us we'll get you out right enough. No one saw us come in the question is where would you like to go? I'd like to go to Boulogne was the instant reply of the burglar. I've always wanted to go on that there trip but I've never had the readies at the right time of the year. Boulogne is a town like London said Cyril well meaning but inaccurate how could you get a living there? The burglar scratched his head. It's hard to get an honest living anywhere nowadays he said and his voice was sad. Yes isn't it said Jane but how about a sunny southern shore where there's nothing to do at all unless you want to. Oh that's my billet miss replied the burglar I'd never did care about work not like some people always fussing about. Did you never like any sort of work asked Anthea. Oh love me yes he answered gardening was my hobby so it was but father died before he could bind me to a nursery man. We'll take you to the sunny southern shore said Jane you've no idea what the flowers are like there. Come onto the carpet she said gently shoving. The others quietly pulled and the moment the feet of the burglar were planted on the carpet Anthea wished I wish we were all on the sunny southern shore where cook is and instantly they were. There were the rainbow sands the tropic glories of leaf and flower and there of course was the cook crowned with white flowers and with all the wrinkles of crossness and tiredness and hard work wiped out of her face. Why cook you're quite pretty Anthea said as soon as she'd got her breath after the tumble rush whirl of the carpet. The burglar stood rubbing his eyes in the brilliant tropic sunlight and gazing wildly around him on the vivid hues of the tropic land. Penny plain and tuppence coloured he exclaimed. The cook was seated on a grassy mound with a court of people around her. The burglar pointed a grimy finger at them. Do they do anything to you with the poisoned arrows or oyster shells or that? Don't you be so timid said the cook look here this here is only a dream what you've come into and as it's only a dream there's no nonsense about what a young lady like me ought to say or not so I'll say you're the best looking fellow I've seen this many a day and the dream goes on and on seemingly as long as you behaves. The things what you have to eat and drink taste just as good as real ones. Look here said the burglar I've come here straight out of the police station. These here kids will tell you it ain't no blame of mine. Well you were a burglar you know said the truthful Anthea. Only because I was drove to it by dishonest blokes as well you knows miss rejoined the criminal. Blowed if this ain't the hottest January as I've known for years. Wouldn't you like a bath asked the queen and some white clothes like me. I should only look a juggins in and miss thanking you all the same was the reply but a bath I wouldn't resist and my shirt was only clean on week before last. Cyril and Robert led him to a rocky pool where he bathed luxuriously then in shirt and trousers he sat on the sand and spoke. That cook or queen or whatever you call her. Oh with the white bouquet on her head. She's my sort. Wonder if she'd keep company. I should ask her. I always was a quick hitter the man went on. It's a word and a blow with me I will. In shirt and trousers and crowned with the scented flowery wreath which Cyril hastily wove as they returned to the court of the queen the burglar stood before the cook and said look here miss you and me being all for lawn like both on us in this here dream or whatever you calls it. I'd like to tell you straight as I like your looks. The cook smiled and looked down bashfully. I'm a single man what you might call a bachel d'or. I'm mild in my habits which these kids will tell you the same and I'd like to have the pleasure of walking out with you next Sunday. Law said the queen cook. How sudden you are mister. Walking out means you're going to be married said Anthea. Why not get married and have done with it? I would. I don't mind if I do said the burglar but the cook said no miss not me not even in a dream. I don't say anything again the young chap's looks but I always swore I'd be married in church if at all and anyway I don't believe anyone here would know how to keep a registering office even if I was to show them. Now mister thanking you kindly if you can't bring a clergyman into the dream I'll live and die like what I am. Will you marry her if we get a clergyman asked the matchmaking Anthea. I'm agreeable miss I'm sure said he pulling his wreath straight. How they see a bouquet do tittle a chap's ears to be sure. So very hurriedly the carpet was spread out and instructed to fetch a clergyman. The instructions were written on the inside of Cyril's cap with a piece of chalk Robert found in his pocket and the carpet disappeared. It quickly came back bearing the reverend Septimus Blenkinsop. The reverend Septimus was rather a nice young man but very much mazed and muddled because when he saw a strange carpet laid out at his feet in his own study he naturally walked on it to examine it more closely and he happened to stand on one of the thin places that Jane and Anthea had downed so that he was half on wishing carpet and half on plain scotch heather mixture fingering which has no magic properties at all. The effect of this was that he was only half there so you could see through him as though he was a ghost. As for him he saw the sunny southern shore the cook and the burglar and the children quite plainly but through them all he saw quite plainly also his study at home with the books and the pictures and the marble clock that had been presented to him when he left his last situation. He seemed to himself to be in a sort of insane fit so it didn't matter what he did and he married the burglar to the cook. The cook said that she would rather have had a solider kind of clergyman one you couldn't see through but perhaps he was real enough for this dream and of course the clergyman though misty was real and able to marry people and he did and when the ceremony was over the clergyman wandered about the island collecting botanical specimens for he was a great botanist and the ruling passion was strong even in an insane fit. There was a splendid wedding feast. Can you fancy Jane and Anthea Robert and Cyril dancing merrily in a ring hand in hand with the cook's people around the happy couple the queen cook and her burglar consort there were more flowers gathered and thrown than you have ever dreamed of and before the children took carpet for home the now married and settled burglar made a speech. Ladies and gentlemen he said if this is a dream I'm on if it ain't I'm honored than ever I don't want no more island and society I've got someone to put my arm around of and I've got the whole lot of this here island for my allotment and if I don't grow some broccoli as I'll open the judge's eyes at the cottage flower shows well strike me pink all I ask is as these young gents and ladies will bring some parsley seed into the dream and a penneth of radish seed and three penneth of onion and I wouldn't mind going to fourpence or fippence for mixed kale and there's one thing more you might take away the parson I don't like things what I can see off through he drained a coconut shell of palm wine it was now past midnight though it was tea time on the island with all good wishes the children took their leave they also collected the clergyman and took him back to his study and his presentation clock the phoenix kindly carried the seeds next day to the burglar and his bride and returned with most satisfactory news of the happy pair he's made a wooden spade and started on his allotment it said and she is weaving him a shirt and trousers of the most radiant whiteness the police never knew how the burglar got away in Kentish town police station his escape is still spoken of with bated breath as the Persian mystery as for the reverend Septimus Blankensop he felt he had had a very strange fit indeed and he was sure it was due to overstudy so he planned a little holiday and took his two maiden aunts to Paris where they enjoyed a dazzling round of museums and picture galleries and came back feeling that they had indeed seen life he never told his aunts or anyone else about the marriage on the island because no one likes it to be generally known if he has had strange fits however interesting and unusual to be continued you

Reviews

Oh Mandy, your changes in voice to match the character's are fabulous! Thank you for another great chapter!

I’m loving re-listening to this book too! Thanks Mandy for all the wonderful readings!

Thanks again. The playlist only covers up to chapter six

Absolutely awesome— put me to sleep about six times last night, and when I finally got to hear the end this morning, just brilliant writing and your character play— over the top! Thank you always ❤️❤️🤣🙏🏽