This exercise is for understanding where you feel your emotions.
And then helping to settle them.
Anger,
Worry and sadness can arrive out of nowhere in menopause,
Perimenopause or midlife.
And we often feel them in our body before we can name them.
In this practice,
We will settle the breath.
Gently scan the body to find where an emotion is sitting.
And then use color.
Shape.
And texture to explore it.
And softeners.
There's no right or wrong way to do this.
It's simply one more tool for your kit.
It's time to take a moment for you.
This exercise,
Where Do You Feel It?
,
Is a way to discover where you hold your emotions in your body.
And then to gently shift how they feel.
So many women tell me that in perimenopause,
Menopause,
And midlife,
Their emotions feel bigger and harder to predict.
A wave of anger that comes from nowhere.
A heaviness in the chest.
A churning in the stomach before they even know what they're worried about.
A hot flush that makes you feel like you no longer have control over your body.
If that sounds familiar.
This practice is for you.
Before we start,
I want you to know that if this exercise doesn't work for you,
That's okay.
We're all different.
As a psychologist,
I've learned over many years that one exercise might help one person.
And not another.
Sometimes an exercise works one day and not the next.
This is about finding what works for you.
And you can come back to this exercise many different times.
And it will work in different ways for you every time.
So let's begin.
Find a comfortable position sitting upright or lying down.
Close your eyes or let your gaze rest softly on a spot in front of you.
When you feel settled,
Take a slow breath in.
Notice the air as it enters your lungs.
And as you breathe out.
Notice the air as it leaves your body.
Again,
Breathe through your nose and into your lungs.
And slowly out.
Breathe at your own pace.
What feels right for you.
Just simply stay with your breath as it comes in.
And as it goes out.
This is time for you.
By taking these few minutes.
You are being kind to yourself.
As you settle into your breathing,
Begin to scan your body.
You might like to start at your toes and slowly work your way up to the top of your head.
Or you might prefer to start at the top of your head and move down.
Whichever feels right for you.
Notice any feeling that stands out in a particular part of your body.
It might be tightness in your jaw or your throat.
A heaviness in your chest or a stirred up feeling in your tummy.
Remember there is no right or wrong way to do this.
Try not to think too much about it.
Whatever comes to mind.
Choose one area where you notice this tightness or discomfort.
Bring your attention gently to that area and stay with it.
I'm going to ask you a few questions about what you're feeling.
Again,
Just go with whatever comes to mind first.
There is no right or wrong answer.
We are all different.
Using your mind's eye.
If this feeling had a color.
Colour would it be?
Now,
If this feeling had a shape.
.
.
What shape would it be?
This may feel unfamiliar at first,
But often we know instinctively.
Some people see a jagged shape.
A tight square,
A triangle.
Whatever comes to you is right for you.
And now notice its texture.
Is it rough?
Heart.
Prickly.
Does it have holes or bumps in it?
Keep breathing slowly and really connect with this feeling.
Its color.
Its shape.
Its texture.
Now see if you can name the emotion you might say to yourself.
This is where I feel my anger.
And it looks like this.
Or this is my worry,
Or this is my sadness.
Perhaps it's a black shape full of holes in your stomach.
Or a red fiery shape with jagged edges in your chest.
This feeling is yours alone.
And however it looks is okay.
Now this is where it gets interesting.
Keeping your attention on that feeling,
I'd like you to change its color.
Let it become a different colour,
Any colour you like.
Now change its shape.
Let it become a new shape.
Different from the one you first saw.
And now change its texture.
If you found it hard to change any part of it,
The color,
The shape or the texture.
That's okay.
Simply sit with the feeling and notice what's possible.
Even one small change is a great start.
Women I work with often describe a black shape becoming soft,
Pale blue.
Or a fiery red becoming a gentle purple.
A jagged shape might become a cloud or a bubble.
And the texture might become softer,
Even fluffy.
Your combination will be your own.
Now take a few slow breaths into this new version of the feeling.
Imagine your breath flowing into that part of your body.
Softening it a little.
Notice how that part of your body feels now,
Has anything shifted even a little?
The idea behind this exercise is to help you notice where you feel an emotion.
Name it.
And to know that you can breathe into it and change how it feels.
You can come back to this practice anytime.
And as I said,
Each time you might find different colors,
Shapes,
And textures.
That's all part of it.
Take one more slow breath in.
And out.
Feel your body supported by the chair or the floor beneath you.
Wriggle your fingers and your toes.
And when you're ready,
Gently open your eyes and come back to your day.
Remember to choose kindness especially towards yourself.
And if you're struggling with your emotions or your mental health.
Please reach out to a doctor or a mental health professional that you trust.
Take care.
Bye for now.
