Welcome to this short talk on why your values matter at midlife and menopause.
What are values?
Why do they matter so much in midlife menopause and perimenopause?
In this short talk.
I explain how knowing your values can help you understand that niggling feeling.
You know that feeling that something isn't quite right.
And how values can become a source of steadiness and confidence when life feels overwhelming.
I also wanted to let you know.
That there is a companion.
It's the guided reflection,
Discovering your core values.
So once you've listened to this introduction,
You might like to follow it up by doing a guided reflection.
It's time just to take a moment for you.
Let's be honest,
We hear the word values a lot,
Particularly in the mental health space.
There are countless books,
Podcasts and speakers on the subject.
But it's worth slowing down and asking what values actually mean in our own lives.
Values are our beliefs about what is important to us.
It can help to think of them as the way we want to act and behave in our lives.
Values might be things like honesty,
Trust.
Loyalty,
Authenticity.
They might be courage,
Freedom,
Fun,
Or even independence.
Fairness,
Kindness,
Adventure,
The list goes on and on.
There literally are hundreds of them.
Values are not our achievements or the things we want to get.
They are how we want to be.
And just as there are hundreds of values,
There is no such thing as a better value or a right value to live by.
It's not up to me to tell a friend that their top value should be courage.
Or that independence shouldn't be on their list.
As a psychologist,
I do this exercise with clients often.
It can be a really helpful way of discovering what feels right for you.
Or if something just feels a bit off.
And I can honestly say I have never seen two people come up with exactly the same list.
When we understand our values,
We can start to notice whether we are living true to them.
Sometimes there's a person or a situation in our life that runs against our values.
It grates on us.
It nickels away at us.
We have that feeling that something just isn't right,
But it's hard to put a finger on it.
Often that nickel is a mismatch in values and that mismatch can be a real source of anxiety.
Imagine someone whose top value is honesty,
Working somewhere that keeps asking her to smooth things over.
And tell people what they want to hear.
That might not necessarily be the truth.
Or someone who deeply values connection.
But whose days are so full of organising,
She never has time for the friendships that nourish her.
Neither of them may be able to name exactly what is wrong,
But their values are telling them something.
Midlife and menopause.
Often brings these questions to the surface.
Our hormones are shifting,
Our roles are shifting,
And many women tell me they feel they've lost themselves along the way.
Coming back to your values can be like finding your way home.
It reminds you who you are at your very best.
Values can also be our life raft when we feel overwhelmed or anxious.
Knowing what matters most to us can give us the confidence to face hard decisions.
And to speak up for what we need.
If you'd like to explore your own values further,
Please check out the companion practice,
Discovering Your Core Values.
It's a gentle guide through what your values might mean to you.
Please remember to choose kindness,
Especially towards yourself.
And if you're struggling with your emotions or your mental health.
Please reach out to your doctor or a mental health professional you trust.
Take care.
And bye for now.
