To do a meditation on sexual assault,
I feel the need to first apologize.
To say that I'm sorry for whatever happened that brought you to this recording.
But this is not that kind of meditation.
What I would like to say to you first is that you are here.
To someone who has never been through this trauma,
Showing up and being present may not be a big deal.
It may seem a lie,
But the truth is that you are now stronger than the person who hurt you.
What you have done to reach this point,
What you have done to cope and survive,
Has made you stronger.
Stronger than your earlier self and stronger than your assailant.
For those of us who have been through this trauma,
Being here,
Breathing in and out,
Is nothing short of remarkable.
See that word in front of you,
Remarkable.
Look at all the letters arranged in front of you.
Take a breath and step toward it.
Own the fact that your actions and reactions have brought this word to you and that you deserve to keep it.
You dared.
You grew stronger and you dared to continue living your life.
You have made it.
You are making it.
All of us together who have done this are remarkable.
We all have standing in front of us,
Walking beside us,
That word of value,
Strength,
And enduring courage.
So take a deep breath and when you exhale,
Slough off all the bad energy that you hold to yourself.
It is over and you can begin to let go of the toxins that you do not need to harbor.
Look at the word remarkable standing beside you.
See clearly what color the word is,
What it has for a texture and how it smells.
Invite the word to come closer.
Take a moment if you need to,
To get to know what this word truly is.
Recovery takes time and effort.
By being here,
You have demonstrated that you want to keep trying,
Surviving,
And daring to reclaim your own life.
Walk forward and touch the word remarkable.
Send it your ownership and your right to have this word.
As you hold it,
The letters break apart and flash into warm light.
They caringly dissolve into your tissue and bone,
Becoming part of your hand.
With ease,
This happens.
The word belonged to you after all.
Take a deep breath but instead of relaxing,
Close your hand into a tight fist.
Feel the many bones in your hand and how the moving pieces together can create such a hardness.
Feel how determined,
Resolute,
And absolute your fist can be.
On your next inhale,
Raise your fist straight above you.
Feel the muscles in your torso,
Arm,
And shoulder holding up your fists like a torch.
Hold it above you as long as you can until you feel the muscles in your body working together to keep it above your head.
Feel your own strength,
Triumph,
Power,
And solidarity.
For you are remarkable.
