Don't Wait

This is the third talk on our exploration of the book "The Five Invitations" by Frank Ostaseski. The invitation is "Don't Wait." It is both practical advice and a profoundly spiritual teaching. We live as if we have time. Time to repair relationships, later. Time to forgive, later. Time to say the important things, later. Time to begin our spiritual life when conditions improve. But "Don't Wait" interrupts that assumption. Everything is already changing. This talk contains sounds of participants, voices, and sounds in the room where the talk was given. Please listen with an open mind and include the sounds in your practice.

Transcript

Okay well welcome to this week we are looking at the precept don't wait don't wait it's both a practical advice and a profoundly spiritual teaching we live in a time where we think that we have time that we have plenty of time time to repair relationships later time to forgive later time to say important things later time to begin a spiritual practice when the conditions in our life improve later but don't wait interrupts that assumption everything is already changing the the native peoples of the the Northeast the Ojibwe they have a saying and I'll offer it to you ten years ago I turned my face for a moment and it became my life ten years ago I turned my face for a moment and it became my life sometimes I go about pitting myself and all along my soul is being blown by great winds across the sky sometimes I go about pitting myself and all along my soul is being blown by great winds across the sky the invitation don't wait is a teaching on impermanence nothing holds still long enough for us to postpone our life and impermanence is not just a philosophy it's not a concept it is what's happening it's a condition of being alive breaths you know as you know the breath comes and goes bodies age and change relationships evolve circumstances shift and because things change waiting for the perfect moment becomes a form of denial actually sometimes people think that these reflections that we do in practice you know the reflections on death on loss on grief reflections on change on illness on aging are kind of morbid like why would I want to do that you know you might hear that in your circles why do you do that it's really really something that we've been trained to avoid a lot of our culture is about the avoidance of these things but you know aging and sickness and death all of the reflections that I'm offering in this series are what's true and it's not even an esoteric truth you know it's an obvious one these offerings are reflections on the great truth of change and seeing change repeatedly encourages us not to wait in order to begin living our life every moment in a deeply engaged way every moment deeply engaged you know we often imagine you know a future moment a future moment where we will have more clarity and more emotional stability that's the moment for us that moment when we're much more clear right when we have fewer responsibilities and encounter now that's when we can meet uncertainty but that moment that future moment it rarely arrives if at all you in the early Buddhist teaching there's a word that captures the moment when we are truly seeing the fragility and the fragile nature of our existence and that word is a Pali word called some Vega some Vega and what it means is spiritual urgency and it arises when we see like when we truly see impermanence and it's not anxiety some Vega is not anxiety it's not fear-based it's the teaching of don't wait without panicking so some Vega is like this clarity of what matters and when we recognize that life is fragile and it's fleeting when we see this clearly and we start to reorganize our life around it that's some Vega we begin to ask questions to our of ourselves like is this what I'm paying attention to is this really worth me paying attention to this what do I want to how do I want to cultivate my life how do I want to spend my time what kind of heart do I want to live with is what I'm doing truly worth my attention those questions become to they begin to really percolate and we can't stop looking at them it's almost like um somebody invites you to go Sufi dancing and you say to yourself you know I'm be nice little social outing but I really want to spend my time Sufi dancing no no I don't so I'm not gonna do that I love this friend but that's not how I want to spend my time some Vega don't wait it's not about don't not waiting this preceptive don't wait it's not about like cramming in more things into our life it's about living more honestly instead of the life that we already have and traditionally this teaching of some Vega is associated with the earliest teachings of Siddhartha Gautama before he woke up so before he left the palace the young Siddhartha encountered what are called the heavenly messengers aging sickness death and a wandering ascetic these are known as the four messengers and these encounters shattered his illusion that life could be controlled or protected from change and in that moment Siddhartha felt and experienced some Vega spiritual urgency a deep recognition that life as we ordinarily live it can't possibly last there's no security and there's no satisfaction and this really this realization it didn't lead him into despair he wasn't despairing it led him to seek liberation so that's the energy of this this cultivation of spiritual urgency some Vega became the energy that propelled him on to become a renunciate himself to move through many different types of practices before he sat down and said I'm going to do this in the middle way I'm going to sit I'm going to watch my mind and then he woke up so don't wait is essentially a modern expression of some Vega it's the recognition that time is uncertain conditions are unstable and life is precious and fleeting so we want to live with wisdom and compassion the time is now just now the eternal now not when we're less busy not when our relationships are easier not when the world settles down the practice begins right in the middle of the life that we have and this appears everywhere all the time it's the realization that years have passed quietly and children are growing up or have grown up and moved out it happens when we look in the mirror in the morning and see time in our own face it happens when there's a diagnosis and your life changes or the death of someone that we love so deeply or the end of a relationship in this culture our culture that we live in it often encourages encourages us to be distracted you know or move past these happenings really quickly just get to the gym get to the cousin like the dermatologist get this taken care of you know but the Dharma invites a very different reality let these moments of change teach us instead of seeing in permanence as something that is frightening that must be controlled we can see it as a teacher we can practice each day like reminding ourselves don't wait don't wait not in a harsh way but in a compassionate way don't wait to practice don't wait to forgive don't wait to love because this moment fragile and fleeting is also completely sufficient for waking up in the same way that the Buddha woke up there's a story that Frank Ostasewski the founder of Zen hospice project and the author of the book the five invitations that we're looking at he tells this story the story is of a man who was very successful and very capable and deeply respected in his community accomplished and he was dying and most of his life this man was really busy building a career a reputation a sense of security and he really loved his family but like many of us he assumed that there would always be more time there would be more time to slow down and more time to be present and more time to say what really mattered but as his life was ending um something shifted and lying in his bed with his body that was shutting down and weakening he began to speak with a kind of urgency that hadn't been there before and he said I can see it so clearly now what matters and when he spoke he wasn't talking about his accomplishments or what he had made of his life he spoke about moments that he had rushed through and conversations that he had postponed and love that he had felt but that he didn't always express and at one point he turned to his family members and said something very simple he said I thought I had more time and there was no bitterness in his voice just clarity and a kind of tenderness and in the final days he did something many of us wait a lifetime to do he began to live right there in the middle of dying and he listened more carefully and he spoke more honestly and he let himself love without holding back and those around him could feel it they could feel it and the whole room changed there was grief yes of course but there was also deep presence a sense that something true was finally being lived it's very moving this story so don't wait because the clary that comes at the end of life is available now and our practice to is to really allow the fragile nature of life to show us what's most important and take action so the prompt for discussion and the prompt for you to write and this is something that you can share or not share this is totally optional is what are you waiting to say what are you waiting to do what are you waiting to be in your life take a few minutes again the prompt what are you waiting to say do or be in your life and pick one and share honestly

Reviews

🙏🏼

Great reminder. Some live their whole lives postponing everything till later and later never comes.