Surviving Brain Cancer & Seeing Spirits!

Jennifer White is exceptional-not only has she survived an incredibly difficult surgery for a brain tumor, she still has an impeccable sense of humor about it! She is full of wisdom, insight and after her years working in hospitals as an RN, stories of what it's like to be on that side of the hospital...but it's her stories of seeing spirits and including their presence and wisdom in her life that got me. Lots of miracles and magic in this episode of the pod!

Transcript

Hi, Everyone, And welcome back to the podcast whose sole reason for existence is to remind you that this world is full of magic, Miracle, And mystery. This time, I'm introducing you to Jennifer White, Who is a retired RN and brain tumor surgery survivor. After waking up from her coma, She had to relearn how to walk, Think, And talk again. And that story by itself, And her recovery, Is an astonishing miracle tale. But then, She shares another story near the end, And it has to do with a sweet little story. Cat. Now I'm a fan of anything with furs or feathers so this story really struck me and it's worth waiting for because it's absolutely gorgeous. So now let's get to it, My conversation with the incredible Jennifer White. I came into a room, It was a small room with just a table, Two comfortable chairs, And she said, Okay, Just give me a minute to kind of tune in. And then she started talking. She didn't ask questions, She just said, Now I have a little cat talking to me. And I, Of course, Didn't have a pet, And I didn't even think about Rome. And so she says, He's describing to me that he sees you sit down with this One particular lady who was blind and old and very frightened. She was agitated and she used to sit outside my office because her room was close by and she would scream because she was frightened. And when I heard her screaming, I would leave whatever I was doing in my office and I would go sit with her and hold her hand and talk to her and comb her hair and that kind of thing. And she would settle right down. And I said to her, I said, I'm really sorry, But I don't have a cat. And she said, No, No, No, He says that he's at the nursing home and his name is Rome. I'm a retired registered nurse. I'm a brain tumor surgery survivor. I'm an author of medical thrillers. I'm a keynote speaker on the topic of resilience and reinvention. And I'm soon to be a TV host out of Hollywood. Wait, What? What do tell, Do tell? Okay, Well, I actually went down to um to California to get some training And it was at a Hollywood studio actually and it was around broadcasting And when I was there, Um Rachel McCord who is the owner of the McCord list network She pulled me aside and she said, You know, Your story's really quite extraordinary Would you be interested in having a tv show and I kind of looked at at first and said, No you're crazy, What are you talking about? And she kind of convinced me that it was an excellent way to spread a positive message of, You know, Reinvention after trauma. And so the plan is, Is that I will be interviewing really extraordinary people who have found ways to overcome incredible challenges and reinvent themselves so that they are serving and helping others and growing as human beings, Which has been my experience. So it's a beautiful fit. It's called Inside the Story Confidential. Wow. And yeah, And I will be taping starting this fall. That is incredible. Congratulations. Thank you. Let me ask, Do you have to go down there to do the taping, Or can you do it up where you are? Um, Both actually, I'm going down this fall to kind of get things all sorted out and then I will be able to do it virtually. Okay. Okay. I mean, It, It makes sense. You're already, I can tell charming and funny and intelligent and, And my listeners, You know, You're listening, So you can't see Jennifer, But she's bright and brilliant and beautiful. So I totally see this for you. I see it for you. Um, Thank you. Yeah, Of course. About becoming when you were a kiddo. Well, My very first dream was I wanted to be an airline stewardess only because I just thought that would be so cool to travel the world. Well, My mother soon kiboshed that and basically told me I'd be a glorified waitress. So she kind of steered me away from that because in her opinion, That just was not a valid way to earn a living. So I actually remember exactly when I wanted to become a nurse. And we were traveling, I was a young kid, We were traveling in the US on a road trip. And we came across a auto crash that had happened fairly soon before we got there. And there were people all over the place who were bleeding and crying and needing help. And the EMS services weren't there yet. And I begged my father to stop and he didn't. And I remember looking out the back window and just feeling so helpless and so hopeless. It was at that moment I thought, OK, Yeah, No, I'm either going to be a doctor or a nurse. And what made me choose nursing over medicine was really the fact that nurses are more empathic. We tend to connect with people on a whole different level than physicians. Their role is very different. They diagnose, Treat, And move on, Whereas nurses become part of the family. We become part of the connection with people and we treat the whole person, Not just the physical illness. I hadn't thought of it that way, But you're absolutely correct. Thank you for that. But what a thing to see as a child. I can't imagine. It made an impact for sure. Oh, Gosh. Now, Was it like every summer did your family do epic road trips? We did. It was, You know, Back in the 60s. And yeah, Like everybody piled into the car and drove forever, It felt like. And, You know, I remember these massive road trips that we took. It would have been weeks long, But that was the way we traveled back then. Wow, Can I ask you, Where are some of the places you went? Oh, Gosh, Well, We went all over Canada, But we also went all over the United States. So I think I've been in every state in the U. S. , Including Alaska, You know, And the only place I haven't been is Puerto Rico. But other than that, I think I've hit all 50 states and saw so much beautiful country. Oh, Okay. I need to ask this. Did you look forward to the summer road trips or did you semi dread them because you were going to be in the car? You know, I never really thought about it. I used to get car sick as a kid, So I remember eating a lot of gravel all over the time and then of course I'd fall asleep and then my mother would yell at me to wake up. And I said to her one time, I got into a lot of trouble, I said to her, I said, Well, If you stop drugging me, I'd probably be OK. Oh, Too funny. I'm sure the answer to this is yes, But have you been to Prince Edward Island? Oh, Yes. Oh, Is it amazing? Yes, Absolutely. It is on my bucket list because when I was a kid, My mom gave me Anne of Green Gables, The books. And so. . . I mean. . . Growing up outside of Chicago reading about PEI. I just couldn't believe there was a place like that existed. I couldn't believe it. I know it's so picturesque. It's gorgeous. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yes, That is I have a bucket list. It's a mile long. You have to know this. So I'd like to talk to you about nursing and that. I asked another, I interviewed another nurse on the show and asked if she, You know, Do you get to pick? Which arena of the hospital that you get to work in. For example, If you want to work in pediatrics, I mean, Do you get to choose where you work? In some cases, Yes. You know, It depends on where they have positions available, But you would apply to something that you appealed to you. So yes, You can. And so when I was nursing, The first thing that I started on was a medical surgical floor, Which was fascinating because you see so much and so many different things. So it really challenges your skill set. When I worked in the ICU, I had to get additional training for that because it's very specialized and you have to really understand body systems and drugs and how things interact so that you can appropriately notice changes and do something about them. Wow, Did you ever, I don't know, That just seems so brave. I don't think I could ever work in an ICU. I mean, Did you ever? I don't know, Get scared or second guess yourself. Oh, You do at the beginning because you're intimidated by the incredible capacity of the staff surrounding you. But one of the things that is important in nursing is teamwork, Right? So when you're working in an ICU, You really are working as a team and you can really rely on each other to help you through scenarios. So all you've got to do is say, Excuse me, Need some help over here. And, You know, Everybody descends on you and you get what you need. Yes, It can be very intimidating but with the right education you develop self-confidence and then as you work you learn over time just like you would at any job and your confidence builds and your capacity for more critically ill patients comes about and you become one of the leaders in the ICU. I really enjoyed it because it was very busy. It was. . . It was a place where you really had to have confidence and knowledge and where you really had to be on the top of your game. So it really pushed you to think, To challenge, To critically think and act. Yeah, Yeah. And I think also with all of these experiences that you have the knowledge to write the medical thrillers that you do, Quite honestly. Well, I do. And it's not just because of the nursing background and the different places where I worked, But it's also from the lens of a patient. Right. I was in a coma after my brain surgery and woke up tied to the bed in an ICU. So what was funny was when I first woke up, I wasn't upset about where I was because, First of all, I was grateful to be alive. But secondly, It was like coming home. Like I recognized the smells and the and the beeping and the activity and all of the things that were happening and it was like, Okay, Yeah, I'm where I'm supposed to be. Oh my gosh. What is astonishing about how you started that was you said, What was funny? You know, I think I'd be hard pressed to find someone else who, You know, Had the same experience that you did and woke up and then would start the sentence with what was funny, But it was kind of like home for you, I guess. You know, It was. Yeah, It was. Wow. Did you find it? What was it like? Being a patient versus, You know, Your long experience being a nurse. Well, It was different. It was different. You know, And it really does give you insight as to how vulnerable people feel, Which is key. You know, When you're nursing, And I was working in the ICU, All of my patients were in comas or were in a medically induced coma so that they could heal. And when you're coming out of a coma and you realize where you are and what's happening, You do feel like the grizzly bear waking up after hibernation going, Wait a minute, Where am I? What's happening? And feeling agitated, Which is why I was tied to the bed. I was trying desperately to get out of the bed apparently and rip everything off me. So that psychosis alone gives you a lens at which you can sort of really understand what people go through. That's so interesting and it sounds like you had no idea that you I mean, I can't imagine what it's like kind of swimming back into consciousness and kind of for a while just not knowing. Kind of where you are or what's going on. I mean, I think anyone would be. Having an incredibly challenging time with that. I just recently, Within the last week, Read a fascinating article. With the science and the studies and investigation that they're doing with people in long-term vegetative states, In comas. I don't know if you've stayed abreast of that, But they're discovering that in, I don't know, I think it was a third of cases that even though the person presents as being in a coma, They can actually hear and understand you. And through, I mean, Quite honestly, For everybody. Some still have the capacity, You know, To blink or to squeeze someone's hand in response to yes or no, But they also have done these fascinating, You know, Studies with people where they put the brain mapping on their heads and they can ask them questions and a part of their brain will light up and they know that that's a response saying yes or no. I mean, It's astonishing what we're discovering about those states. Absolutely. And I can tell you that when I was nursing, I actually had people come back to the unit and talk to us once they were well. And they would recognize you by your voice. And I had one gentleman say, I know exactly who you are because this is what you said to me. And I had chills because I remembered saying it. And then as a patient, When I was in my coma, I do recall hearing people talking to me reassuring me, Telling me what they were going to do to me. So absolutely, It absolutely happens and the brain is an amazing thing. So what do you think about it? You know, I'm technically brain damaged. When you look at my brain scan, You can see where they took the tumor out. You can see the damaged tissue around where that was. And so part of my brain has been damaged. But the beautiful thing about the brain, And I knew this going in, Was that it can rewire itself. The cells themselves don't regenerate like your skin does, But the pathways for messaging can change. And so I went from being unable to walk and talk and recognize my husband. To getting my speech back, Getting my walking back. I still have lost a lot of memories, But they're slowly in bursts coming back. So it's interesting what happens. Oh, It's so fascinating. I, I just read an incredible book recently, Um, About the neuroplasticity in the brain and the brain, You know, I, It was actually a little bit maddening to read because for decades, I mean, The book does a history. Of the science around neuroplasticity. And for such a long time, Doctors, The attitude was, You know what, If you're a kid, Yes, You can rewire your brain. If you have had trauma or something happens, But oh, There is no hope for adults. Adults just don't have the capacity. It's nope. And then it took, You know, Science evolving and people doing different experiments that they discovered that the capacity for the brain to rewire itself. It's almost like that is what it's built for. And it is excited to do it. And it will do whatever it needs to to find a workaround. And it will be unstopping and finding that workaround. It is astonishing what our brains can do. It's a marvel. Yes. It is. It really is. And for me, I used writing as a way to trigger my brain to do something different. So I forced myself to learn a new skill. I took courses online that were self-paced that I could work around my fatigue and my, Um, My rehab schedule. And I pushed it to the limits in terms of forcing it to find a way to work basically. And it did. And, You know, That's one of the messages that I share when I'm doing my keynote speaking is that I tell people that this is possible. I'm standing here as proof that it is possible. So, You know, Nonsense to the people who say you can't and yes to the people who say go for it. I heart you. I heart you. May I ask, Before I go to the second question, What does rehab look like? Or someone who's had your experience? For me, It was really twofold. One was physiotherapy to get me up and walking because my balance was off as well. So that was tough, But it worked. Second was language. Language rehab. So I had someone come to the house here several times a week and we started back at the beginning like you would in kindergarten with phonics. So what I was doing was I had a thought but I only made sound instead of creating a word. So I had to go back to square one to relearn the techniques to make language. So I didn't wake up with an accent and I didn't wake up with a different language, But what I just woke up with was the ability to make sounds so my vocal cords were working. But the ability to form words was not. So that was where I ended up. Okay, Okay. Yeah, I'm just thinking about what you've gone through. And I mean, No one ever plans to go to the doctor and have this kind of diagnosis. I mean, I think No one wants to live their life in fear and hoping, Oh, I don't get it. So it's like the last thing on your mind that this would even happen. Yeah, You can't, You can't live that way. You know, For me, It happened very quickly. So I just was at home one day enjoying my retirement and just didn't feel well. And the nurse in me said, You might be having a stroke. You better go get checked. So I got myself to hospital. I called 911, Got an ambulance. They took me in. Took me seriously because I was having symptoms, Did the scans, And they came back to me. And I remember this vividly. They said, The good news is you're not having a stroke. The bad news is you've got a large brain tumor. It's squeezing your arteries, Which is why you're feeling what you're feeling. So in many ways, I was having the beginnings of a stroke because it was cutting off blood flow. And that's one type of stroke. So once I heard you know, The words brain tumor, I thought, Oh no! I mean, I might've passed out. I. . . I would have maybe needed to go into the corner and cry for a little bit or just hide in a hospital closet. They would have been like, Where did you go? And then the janitor would find me like five hours later in the closet. I do. I suspect I know the answer to this. But do you think that your experience in the nursing world in that milieu? Did that help you with your diagnosis? Yes and no. So I say yes because in a way it made sense as to why the symptoms were happening, Right? No, In the sense that I knew too much, Right? When you know too much, Sometimes that's a deterrent. And when they showed me the scan and showed me where the brain tumor was, I knew I was basically dead man walking because it was in a particularly horrible spot. They actually didn't think that I would be able to have surgery, That it would be so challenging to get at it. And when I first started looking for neurosurgeons, Because I wasn't about to wait for them to refer me to somebody, I got on the computer. I looked across the country because I had the ability to travel. And I just said, Find me the best neurosurgeon. So the first the first one said he wouldn't touch me because he figured that I would die on him. And it was the second one in another city. That said, You know what, I'm willing to try. Because to him, I think he was a younger fellow, And he was a very well respected neurosurgeon. When he looked at the scan, His eyes kind of lit up, Like he was, You know, This is a video game, I gotta try. And that's how you have to sort of get them engaged. They're not really interested in the easy stuff, Right? They, You know, That's their bread and butter, But they like a challenge. So when he saw that, And my husband and I were at the hospital together, And, You know, He walked me through my I told him I was a nurse. And so he talked to me in medical terms. And, You know, We talked about all of the ins and outs and the nitty gritty. And my husband just sitting there like, Oh my God, What are they talking about? And, You know, You could tell he was, He was sincere. He said, You know, This is bad. This is bad. Your only chance is if we try, I'm willing to try, But you're probably going to die. Are you okay with that? It was like, Well, Like what options do I have, Right? So you say yes because you're desperate for a chance. So when I woke up tied to the bed I was just so grateful to have actually gotten through the other side that I knew that I had been given a second chance for a purpose. Wow, I didn't know, I mean. Bless his heart for being brutally honest to you. I don't, You're right. You know, You had no other choice. You had no other choice. But yeah, I didn't. I'm not used to that straight talk, So. Well, Not many surgeons will say, I'll try. Most will say, Well, You know. Let's do it see what happens but because I was a medical professional as well and I was asking very in-depth questions you know and he was respecting that and you know and I said to him I said if it were if it were you what we did do and he said well you know I'm a gambler I'd take a chance and I thought well there you go I said that you know I I have to try Because I could die at any time, Right? They took my driver's license away from me, Obviously. And so I now I lost my independence. And I'm still a young person, Like I'm in my early 60s. But like, Who wants that? And it was just going to be one of those situations where you'd be walking around as a time bomb just waiting. Yeah. And who wants to live like that? So that was my choice. Okay. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you for entertaining all my questions as well. Oh, No. Great. Here's the next one. Okay. Did you grow up in a religious household? If so, What did that look like? You know, Through your life or as your life has evolved and you've gotten older, How has that connection to source, If you have one, How has that changed? Great questions. So yes, I grew up in a religious household. We're Anglican. And we did go to church on a regular basis. And I went through the process of being like an altered child. Well, They called them altar boys then, But I think there's probably a different term for them now. I did get confirmed and went through classes and that kind of thing. So, Yes, I've always had a spiritual connection and I've been a spiritual person. Now, While I was nursing, There was a time when I challenged that. And I remember going to church like in the like the Tuesday evening services by myself because I was seeing so much death. I was really questioning purpose because, Because I was skilled, They often give the most critically ill people to the skilled staff, Right? Because you want to give them the best opportunity you can. But having said that, What often happened was that they were beyond the ability to save them. So, You know, I, When I was working in the ICU, In particular with the traumas, We would get terrible, Terrible crash victims. Thank you. It was just almost impossible to put them back together. Some we did, And I don't really know how, But most did not survive. And when you're going day after day after day, And you are holding hands while people have their ventilator turned off, Or family are at the bedside and they're passing away, You start to question what is going on here. And so I did question it at some point. But then, As This experience came to light. I became very close to my spirit. And, You know, In many chats, I just sort of said, Okay, What's this all about? You know, Like, What were you trying to tell me? And the message I kept hearing in my head was, You weren't listening. You're not done. You've still got more work to do. And I thought, Okay, All right. So I basically said to Spirit, I said, Well, I'm going to believe you, And I'm going to trust you, And if you can get me through this, I will find a way. And hence, I got this. And so I found a way and I know that someone above my pay grade was there helping me. And I am a true believer. I've come to realize that I'm a spirit in that my body broke down and it needed to be fixed. And it was, But it was my spirit that survived. And so I used to serve as a nurse and now I serve as an author. Author, Speaker, And host. So it's given me, I don't nurse anymore, I retired my license, But I'm still serving in a different capacity. I'm helping people when I speak about hope and about resilience and about challenges that can be overcome. And I've learned so much about life through a different lens. And so this is my now area of service. I have to say that I really enjoy listening to you because I think you're such a. . . Beautiful example of not giving up. And not thank you, Throwing in the towel. And I mean, I think through any healing journey, No matter what it is, That there are hills and there are valleys and the valleys, You kind of, You know, You never know when those periods of maybe despondency or, Or maybe where you entertain the idea of giving up, You never know when they're going to surface. And I think it takes exactly, Yeah, A strong and brilliant spirit to keep going, You know, To not give up. One of the things that I realized and I dug deep for this in terms of my nursing background, I had seen so many people who were devastated just say, OK, I'm done and throw in the towel and quickly pass away. And then I saw and witnessed other people who had been given similar disasters and they just fought with every fiber of their being to get better. And they often did. So I chose when I woke up and I realized I'd lost my memories. Didn't recognize my husband, Couldn't speak and couldn't walk. I just sort of said to myself, Okay, Can't go back, Let's go forward. And I just refused to get stuck in like self-pity or to wallow in sorrow. I just was so grateful to be alive, As I mentioned, That I knew I had a blank slate, That I could do anything. And so I just started dreaming. And I allowed myself to dream like a little kid. What did I want to be at the ripe age of 62 when I grow up, Right? So it was like starting over. It was the before and the after. So I'm in life number two and I'm having a blast. I have found joy that I never experienced before. And I don't know whether it's because my mind is open to experience that joy or whether I'm traveling a path that maybe I was meant to go down but never got there. Past. The writing has become such a pleasure. I never had any inkling of writing before this. So writing now is a journey of adventure for me. Yes, I'm using my past history and memories to create the books, But I crafted a character and I healed through that character because I gave my character, Abby, My brain tumor. It gave her some of the challenges and the feelings that I was having. So as I was angry and frustrated and grieving, I put that through into my character and healed through it. And one of the things that people are really noticing as they read the books, I'm getting really good reviews. What I'm finding is that people are really resonating with that journey because they can relate to having lost something or lost someone. Or the self-doubt that you get when you're on the other side of a trauma and you're going, Can I do this? Am I okay? And I put Abby back working in the ICU, Just like I would have worked. Now, I was lucky I was retired, But I put my character back there and had her go through all of the doubts and the uncertainty and the fear and the concern about, Do I remember? And what do I do and will I do it? So that's how it all kind of fell together. That's brilliant. It's brilliant. Yeah, I, It's, I mean, That's what gives good characters, Solid, Interesting characters, Their captivating quality is, Is if someone can come in and based on their life experiences and what's happened to them, They can inform their characters with their own lives. It's incredibly powerful. I mean, Every agent or famous writer will say, Write what you know. And this is what exactly Yeah, And so no wonder no wonder you're getting incredible reviews. I think Yeah. Kudos to you. Also for being, Again, I'm going to use the word brave. And go back to those memories and those experiences and use them as fertilizer for your books. Absolutely. Yeah, That's not for the faint of heart. So I'm just giving you I'm witnessing you and your bravery and strength. This is funny, You know, It feels right. Does it? Okay. Yeah, It does. It feels like the right way to go. Yeah, I guess it's because it's authentic. And that resonates with people. Yeah. Oh, Yeah, Absolutely. This is gonna sound absolutely absurd, Based on everything we've been talking about, And you sharing your life, And then you sharing what, You know, Your experiences with other people who are in comas, And what they said to you after they got out of their coma. But I would love, You know, You've already shared some stories that are kind of miraculous and mysterious, But do you have any other stories that you'd like to share about something that you either witnessed or experienced that you thought was magical, Miraculous, Or mysterious? Well, One thing that I can tell you is both before and after the surgery, I'm very aware of spirits. So I have seen many. I have talked to a few. I have one that comes and visits me at the house and the reason that I know this and my husband was such a non-believer and you know I tell him stories about things and and he'd just shake his head going oh my goodness don't don't encourage it he says well so we have a um we have a like a chandelier thing that sits on the table I don't know what you call it but it's um it's it's a remote thing And. . . Sometimes one of the five pillars will light up and it will be random and it's not battery or you know it's it's not a battery thing it's not electricity thing it's just it it comes and goes and we'll be sitting at the dinner table and all of a sudden one of and it's always the same one and I've moved it from different places to see if it's related to the environment or is it picking up some signal somewhere. But anyway, So this one lights up. And I'll talk to it, And I'll say, Oh, Hey, Look, You know, You're visiting today. It's so good to see you, And I hope things are well. And I just have a conversation with this lit candle-like thing. And my husband's, Of course, Looking at me. And then I'll say, You know, I know my husband didn't believe. And then I'll say to the candle, I said, Look, My husband's having trouble understanding that you're here. Can you just turn yourself off and turn yourself back on? And it does. And he looks at me, He goes, Stop it. Stop it right now. And I'm going, No, It's okay. It's not a bad thing. It's someone who is perhaps my guardian angel, Just watching over me and just telling me I'm here. So I've seen so much death. I've seen so much life. I have been at the bedside when people have died. I have felt, Um, For lack of a better word, I have felt their presence leave their body. So I am a true believer that we are spirits that go home, Wherever home is, And we go somewhere else in the next life. And this is just one experience that we're having. Yeah, Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I think it's funny that your husband is like. What is happening? Yeah, Yeah, He's not impressed. He doesn't like it. Let me just clarify. So you saw spirits before your surgery as well? Yes, Yes. Yes. And my son can see them as well. So you know, We've been places, Houses, Century-old homes, That kind of thing, And I can see the people that live there. Yeah. Do you think, You know, When this, I don't know when this first started happening for you, But was it a little scary? Were you shocked? I think I was. I can tell you when I really first noticed it was when I started having kids and I was home alone with the kids while hubby was out doing whatever. And, You know, I used to hear footsteps and coming down the hall. And I used to think, OK, I'm crazy. I'm overtired. I just need to go to sleep. And it became consistent. And there was one room in the house and down in the basement that was always cold. For whatever reason, You could feel the heat coming but the room was always cold, And I didn't like being in that room. So one time, The spirit was making more noise than usual. And I came out from the bedroom and I just stood in the hall and I just said, Look, You know, I know you're here, You're welcome to be here, But please, You know, If you do one thing, Please protect my children. Don't hurt them in any way or frighten them. And it stopped just like that. And then my hubby at the time, Who was not behaving nicely one day, He had come in late after partying, I think. And he couldn't get the bathroom door to open. And he woke me up and he said, I can't get in the bathroom. You need to help me. And so I went and I opened the door. But he couldn't open it. So I don't know. It's, You know. Who knows what's going on, But I have a great belief that there's more to what's happening around us than we think. Well, What a huge gift and what a huge blessing. And I mean, Quite honestly, I mean, I'd like to ask you, Do you know why? Do you get a sense of why these spirits are still here? No. Okay. No, And I've never come across a nasty one. Okay. They've always been playful or kind or, You know, I remember I was refinishing a floor once and they didn't like the sound and they unplugged the machine on me. And it was like, OK, I hear you. I'm fine. Don't worry. So then I made my husband finish the floor. Okay, You're so loving and considerate and kind. Um, I mean, I think that's, That's kind of a, I don't know, For me, This is just me. But if I had that capacity, I think I would feel a great sense of responsibility. Did you ever like that? You know, Just like, Are they coming to me? Actually, There was once. Really? There was once. Yeah. So when I was a director of nursing, Running a nursing home back in Toronto, It was an older building. And one of the residents had come with a cat. Now, This was long before I showed up on the scene, But the resident had passed and the cat had kind of been adopted by the facility as kind of, You know, Was a pet that used to go around and check on everybody and everything and his name was Rome and he was a cute little cat and he used to come in my office and jump up on my desk and visit me and we'd chat and then he'd go off and visit the residents. Well, One Saturday, No it was a Sunday, Excuse me, My staff had told me about a place that was a store where the women who ran it were sisters and they claimed to be witches. It's And so I was intrigued, Right? It was like, Oh, This sounds so cool. So without anybody knowing on a Sunday when I wasn't doing anything and I felt like entertaining myself, I went to this store and it was set up. It was a very small store, But it was set up like an old apothecary store with all the glass jars around. It was just fascinating. And they had everything from crystals and pendants and all kinds of stuff. And as soon as I walked in the door, The lady behind the counter, She said, Oh, Hi, Jennifer. How are you? Well, She'd never met me, I didn't know her. And in fact, Jennifer was my birth name and I was actually going by Della at the time. So, You know, So anyway, So I started chatting with her because I just felt this immediate pull, Right? Okay, She knows who I am. Because my staff didn't know my name was Jennifer in real life. And so she said, You know, Did you come in for anything particular? I said, You know, I understand that you do some readings. Is someone available to do a reading? And she said, Well, My sister's available, But she is a pet empath in that she talks to pets. And I said, Okay, You know, I thought it would be kind of interesting. So I paid my 40 bucks or whatever it was, And I waited for her and I came into a room. It was a small room with just a table, Two comfortable chairs. And she said, Okay, Just, Just give me a minute to kind of tune in. And then she started talking. She didn't ask questions. She just said, Now I have a little cat talking to me. And I, Of course, Didn't have a pet and I didn't, I didn't even think about Rome. And so she says, He's describing to me that he sees you sit down with this one particular lady who was blind and old and very frightened. She was agitated and she used to sit outside my office because her room was close by and she would scream because she was frightened. And when I heard her screaming, I would leave whatever I was doing in my office and I would go sit with her and hold her hand and talk to her and comb her hair and that kind of thing. And she would settle right down. And then I tell her, OK, You're here for this reason or you're here because lunch is coming and, You know, They just need to get everybody set up. So don't don't be upset. Everything's fine. Anyway, He described the scenario of what I used to do with this woman to a tee through this sister. And I said to her, I said, I'm really sorry, But I don't have a cat. And she said, No, No, No, He says that he's at the nursing home and his name is Rome. It was like, Oh my God. So. Sunday afternoon. So I leave this reading totally blown away. And the first thing I do is drive to the pet store because the last thing that Rome told her was what his favorite toy was and he would like one. And so I went to the pet store, Found this darn little red mouse with a black bow on it, And it had a bell on its tail, And I bought it. So Monday morning comes. I come through the front door, Which was different than what I usually did. I usually came in the staff door, But I came in the front door. And there was Rome sitting on the counter waiting for me. And I said, Hey Rome, Come with me, I've got something for you. And I walked him to my office and he came in, He got up on my desk and I pulled out, I'd already taken it out of the package, I pulled out the little red mouse. And you should have seen him. He did circles on the desk. He grabbed the mouse and he took off. And I didn't see him for the rest of the day. And then he came back and he got on top of my keyboard on my computer and he wouldn't let me work until I played with him. Now you can't tell me that that was coincidence. That to me was the ultimate in I see what you do, I'm telling other people about it, And thank you for doing that. " And it just made me feel like a thousand dollars because I just felt so blessed that this little creature had communicated this message to me and yeah so that's an example of yes feeling very much that I was being watched. That I was, That I had a role to play. Most people wouldn't even have acknowledged what I did, But he saw it and he told me through her how much it calmed the lady and made her day. Wow. Okay. Jennifer, Are you the coolest person I know right now? I think you are. Well, Thanks. Yeah, I got some really weird stuff. Well it's. . . It's beautiful that you share these stories because I think it gives people a peek or a glimpse behind the curtain of the universe. And I think that it is important to tell those stories now because I mean, I myself think that there's, I love science. I've loved science since I was a kid, But I've always been a bit of a mystic, Um, Just because I've had experiences that are not quote unquote normal and they can't be explained. And so I've always kind of yearned for those two disciplines to meet. And I think there is a great, Revolution that's happening right now as far as, You know, Scientists trying to figure out what is consciousness? Where is it? What is reality? Is any of this real? And a lot of what they're discovering or on the verge of discovering is very similar to what indigenous and ancient cultures have been telling us about oneness and everyone being connected. And so it's really kind of exciting time to be alive. It's really beautiful. So these stories that you share help people understand a little bit more they can see or understand or begin to comprehend the possibility of connection with things that you can't explain. And so it's so important that you're out there. And I just find your story about, You know, Being in California and then this, Hey, Do you want to host a TV show is just on par with, You know, The magic of the universe saying, We need your voice. We need you. You know, That's a good way to put it and I can't explain it any other way. I've embraced opportunities that I never would have thought of before or even allowed. Like when I had this opportunity to go to California in the first place, I sort of said to my husband, I'd really like to go. I'd like to check this out. And it was like, Yeah, Go. He wasn't interested, Which was fine. And I went on my own and it proved two things. One, That I was capable of traveling on my own after this brain surgery. But secondly, It opened doors that never would have been opened before. So I'm very aware of opportunities and I jump at them. You know, William Shatner, You know, From Star Trek, He once said, You know, He was asked once, Why are you doing these things? And he said, Why not? You know, And he's a ripe old man. He's like 98 or something, And he's still going strong. So why not? You Okay, Everyone, There's going to be a little bit of an Easter egg after this outro, So be sure not to miss it. I'd like to thank Jennifer for coming onto the show and for sharing all of her stories, But also sharing her splendid self. She's really on a roll these days, And I think in those darkest days of emerging from her coma and relearning everything, Including how to live life, I'm pretty sure that imagining all of the success and beauty in her life was kind of not what she could do at that point. So I'm really glad and grateful that so many good things are coming to her. Thank you for listening. And here's my one request. Be like Jennifer. Be undefeated. Be unstoppable. Understand that you are capable of so much more than you could ever imagine. Jennifer's story of surviving her brain tumor surgery then coming back and relearning every single aspect of her life is nothing short of astonishing. So if she can come back from that, I think you can come back from whatever it is that you're dealing with. It takes the courage of your convictions, A little bit of kindness and compassion for yourself, And then the strength to keep going despite the odds. So be like Jennifer and never give up. And keep going, Knowing that one day, Whatever you're going through, You'll have conquered. Bye! Bye! You