Winnie the Pooh by A.
A.
Milne Chapter 3 In which Pooh and Piglet go hunting,
And nearly catch a woozle.
The piglet lived in a very grand house in the middle of a beech tree,
And the beech tree was in the middle of the forest,
And the piglet lived in the middle of the house.
Next to his house was a piece of broken board which had said,
Trespassers,
W.
When Christopher Robin asked the piglet what it meant,
He said it was his grandfather's name,
And had been in the family for a long time.
Christopher Robin said,
You couldn't be called Trespassers,
W.
And Piglet said,
Yes,
You could,
Because his grandfather was.
And it was short for Trespassers Will,
Which was short for Trespassers William.
And his grandfather had two names encased he lost one,
Trespassers after an uncle,
And William after Trespassers.
I've got two names,
Said Christopher Robin carelessly.
Well there you are,
That proves it,
Said Piglet.
One fine winter's day when Piglet was brushing away the snow in front of his house,
He happened to look up,
And there was Winnie the Pooh.
Pooh was walking round and round in a circle,
Thinking of something else.
And when Piglet called to him,
He just went on walking.
Hello,
Said Piglet,
What are you doing?
Hunting,
Said Pooh.
Hunting what?
Tracking something,
Said Winnie the Pooh very mysteriously.
Tracking what,
Said Piglet,
Coming closer.
That's just what I asked myself.
I asked myself,
What?
What do you think you'll answer?
I shall have to wait until I catch up with it,
Said Winnie the Pooh.
Now look there.
He pointed to the ground in front of him.
What do you see there?
Tracks,
Said Piglet.
Palm marks.
He gave a little squeak of excitement.
Oh Pooh,
Do you think it's a,
A,
A woozle?
It may be,
Said Pooh.
Sometimes it is,
And sometimes it isn't.
You can never tell with palm marks.
With these few words he went on tracking,
And Piglet,
After watching him for a minute or two,
Ran after him.
Winnie the Pooh had come to a sudden stop and was bending over the tracks in a puzzled sort of way.
What's the matter,
Asked Piglet.
It's a very funny thing,
Said Bear,
But there seem to be two animals now.
This,
Whatever it was,
Has been joined by another,
Whatever it is,
And the two of them are now proceeding in company.
Would you mind coming with me,
Piglet,
In case they turn out to be hostile animals?
Piglet scratched his ear in a nice sort of way and said that he had nothing to do until Friday and would be delighted to come,
In case it really was a woozle.
You mean in case it really is two woozles,
Said Winnie the Pooh.
And Piglet said that anyhow he had nothing to do until Friday,
So off they went together.
There was a small spinny of large trees just here,
And it seemed as if two woozles,
If that is what they were,
Had been going round this spinny.
So round this spinny went Pooh and Piglet after them.
Piglet passed the time by telling Pooh what his grandfather,
Trespassers W,
Had done to remove stiffness after tracking,
And how his grandfather,
Trespassers W,
Had suffered in his later years from shortness of breath and other matters of interest,
And Pooh wondering what a grandfather was like,
And if perhaps this was two grandfathers they were now after,
And if so,
Whether he would be allowed to take one home and keep it,
And what Christopher Robin would say.
And still the tracks went on in front of them.
Finally,
Winnie the Pooh stopped and pointed excitedly in front of him.
Look!
What?
Said Piglet,
With a jump.
And then to show that he hadn't been frightened,
He jumped up and down once or twice more,
In an exercising sort of way.
The tracks,
Said Pooh,
A third animal has joined the other two.
Pooh,
Cried Piglet,
Do you think it's another woozle?
No,
Said Pooh,
Because it does make different marks.
It is either two woozles in one,
As it might be,
Wizzle or two,
As it might be,
Wizzles in one,
And if so it is woozle.
Let us continue to follow them.
So they went on,
Feeling just a little anxious now,
In case the three animals in front of them were hostile intent.
And Piglet wished very much that his grandfather T.
W.
Were there,
Instead of elsewhere.
And Pooh thought how nice it would be if they met Christopher Robin suddenly,
But quite accidentally,
And only because he liked Christopher Robin so much.
And then,
All of the sudden,
Winnie the Pooh stopped again,
And licked the tip of his nose in a cooling manner,
For he was feeling more hot and anxious than ever in his life before.
There were four animals in front of them.
Do you see,
Piglet?
Look at their tracks.
Three as it were,
Woozles,
And one as it was,
Wizzle.
Another woozle has joined them,
And so it seemed to be.
There were the tracks,
Crossing over each other,
Getting muddled up with each other,
But quite plainly,
Every now and then,
The tracks of four sets of paws.
I think,
Said Piglet,
When he had licked the tip of his nose too,
And found that it brought him very little comfort,
I think that I have just remembered something.
I have just remembered something that I forgot to do yesterday,
And shan't be able to do tomorrow.
So I suppose I really ought to go back,
And do it now.
We'll do it this afternoon,
And I'll come with you,
Said Pooh.
It isn't the sort of thing you can do in the afternoon,
Said Piglet,
Quickly.
It's a very particular morning thing,
And that has to be done in the morning,
And if possible,
Between the hours of,
What would you say the time was?
About twelve,
Said Winnie the Pooh,
Looking at the sun.
Between,
As I was saying,
The hours of twelve and twelve-five.
So really,
Dear old Pooh,
If you'll excuse me.
What's that?
Pooh looked up at the sky,
And then as he heard the whistle again,
He looked up into the branches of a big oak tree,
And then he saw a friend of his.
It's Christopher Robin,
He said.
Ah,
Then you'll be all right,
Said Piglet.
You'll be quite safe with him.
Goodbye.
And he trotted off home as quickly as he could,
Very glad to be out of all danger again.
Christopher Robin came slowly down his tree.
Silly old bear,
He said.
What were you doing?
First you went round the spinny twice by yourself,
And then Piglet ran after you,
And you went round again together,
And then you were just going round a fourth time.
Wait a moment,
Said Winnie the Pooh,
Holding up his paw.
He sat down and thought,
In the most thoughtful way he could.
Then he fitted his paw into one of the tracks,
And then he scratched his nose twice and stood up.
Yes,
Said Winnie the Pooh.
I see now,
Said Winnie the Pooh.
I have been foolish and deluded,
Said he,
And I am a bear of no brain at all.
You're the best bear in all the world,
Said Christopher Robin soothingly.
Am I?
Said Pooh hopefully.
And then he brightened up suddenly.
Anyhow,
He said,
It is nearly luncheon time.
So he went home for it.
Chapter Four In Which Eeyore Loses a Tail and Pooh Finds One.
The old grey donkey Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the forest,
His front feet well apart,
His head on one side,
And thought about things.
Sometimes he thought sadly to himself,
Why?
And sometimes he thought,
Wherefore?
And sometimes he thought,
Inasmuch as which?
And sometimes he didn't quite know what he was even thinking about.
So when Winnie the Pooh came stumping along,
Eeyore was very glad to be able to stop thinking for a little in order to say,
How do you do,
In a gloomy manner to him.
And how are you,
Said Winnie the Pooh.
Eeyore shook his head from side to side.
Not very how,
He said.
I don't seem to have felt at all how for a long time.
Dear dear,
Said Pooh,
I'm sorry about that.
Let's have a look at you.
So Eeyore stood there,
Gazing sadly at the ground,
And Winnie the Pooh walked all round him once.
Why,
What's happened to your tail,
He said in surprise.
What has happened to it,
Said Eeyore.
It isn't there.
Are you sure?
Well,
Either a tail is there or isn't there.
You can't make a mistake about it.
And yours isn't there.
Then what is?
Nothing.
Let's have a look,
Said Eeyore,
And he turned slowly round to the place where his tail had been a little while ago,
And then finding that he couldn't catch it up,
He turned round the other way,
Until he came back to where he was at first,
And then he put his head down and looked between his front legs,
And said at last with a long,
Sad sigh,
I believe you're right.
Of course I am,
Said Pooh.
That accounts for a good deal,
Said Eeyore gloomily.
It explains everything.
No wonder.
You must have left it somewhere,
Said Winnie the Pooh.
Somebody must have taken it,
Said Eeyore.
How like them,
He added.
Pooh felt that he ought to say something helpful about it,
But he didn't know quite what to say,
So he decided to do something helpful instead.
Eeyore,
He said solemnly,
I,
Winnie the Pooh,
Will find your tail for you.
Thank you,
Pooh,
Answered Eeyore.
You're a real friend,
Said he.
Not like some,
He said.
So Winnie the Pooh went off to find Eeyore's tail.
It was a fine spring morning in the forest as he started out.
Little soft clouds played happily in a blue sky,
Skipping from time to time in front of the sun,
As if they had come to put it out,
And then sliding away suddenly so that the next might have his turn.
Through them and between them the sun shone bravely,
And a copse which had worn its furs all the year round seemed old and dowdy now,
Because the new green lace which the beaches had put on so prettily.
Through copse and spinny march bare,
Down open slopes of gorse and heather,
Over rocky beds of streams,
Up steep banks of sandstone,
Into the heather again,
And so at last,
Tired and hungry,
To the hundred-acre wood,
For it was in that hundred-acre wood that Owl lived.
And if anyone knows anything about anything,
Said Bear to himself,
It's Owl who knows something about something.
Or my name's not Winnie the Pooh,
He said,
Which it is,
So there you are.
Owl lived in the chestnuts,
An old-world residence of great charm,
Which was grander than anybody else's,
Or seemed so to Bear,
Because it had both knocker and a bell-pool.
At the knocker there was a notice which said,
Please ring,
If a riser is required.
Under the bell-pool there was a notice which said,
Please knock,
If a riser is not required.
These notices had been written by Christopher Robin,
Who was the only one in the forest who could spell.
For Owl,
Wise though he was in many ways,
Unable to read and write and spell his own name,
Yet somehow went all to pieces over delicate words like measles and buttered toast.
Winnie the Pooh read the two notices very carefully,
First from left to right,
And afterwards,
In case he had missed some of it,
From right to left.
Then to make quite sure,
He knocked and pulled the knocker,
And he pulled and knocked the bell-rope,
And he called out in a very loud voice,
Owl,
I require an answer.
It's Bear speaking.
And the door opened,
And Owl looked out.
Hello,
Pooh,
He said.
How's things?
Terrible and sad,
Said Pooh,
Because Eeyore,
Who was a friend of mine,
Has lost his tail,
And he's moping about it.
So could you very kindly tell me how to find it for him?
Well,
Said Owl,
The customary procedure in such cases is as follows.
What does crestimony proceedcake mean,
Said Pooh?
For I am a bear of very little brain,
And long words bother me.
It means the thing to do.
As long as it means that,
I don't mind,
Said Pooh humbly.
The thing to do is as follows.
First,
Issue a reward.
Then,
Just a moment,
Said Pooh,
Holding up his paw.
What do we do with this?
What were you saying?
You sneezed,
Just as you were going to tell me.
I didn't sneeze.
Yes,
You did,
Owl.
Excuse me,
Pooh,
I didn't.
You can't sneeze without knowing it.
Well,
You can't know it without something having been sneezed.
What I said was,
First,
Issue a reward.
You're doing it again,
Said Pooh sadly.
I'll reward,
Said Owl very loudly.
We write a notice to say that we will give a large something to anybody who finds Eeyore's tail.
I see,
I see,
Said Pooh,
Nodding his head.
Talking about large somethings,
He went on dreamily.
I generally have a small something about now,
About this time in the morning.
And he looked wistfully at the cupboard in the corner of Owl's parlor.
Just a mouthful of condensed milk or whatnot,
With perhaps a lick of honey?
Well then,
Said Owl,
We write out this notice,
And we put it all up in the forest.
A lick of honey,
Murmured Bear to himself,
Or not,
As the case may be.
And he gave a deep sigh and tried very hard to listen to what Owl was saying.
But Owl went on and on,
Using longer and longer words,
Until at last he came back to where he started.
And he explained that the person to write out this notice was Christopher Robin.
It was he who wrote the ones on the door.
Did you see them,
Pooh?
For some time now,
Pooh had been saying yes and no,
In turn,
With his eyes shut,
To all that Owl was saying.
And having said yes,
Yes,
Last time,
He said no,
Not at all,
Now,
Without really knowing what Owl was talking about.
Didn't you see them,
Said Owl,
A little surprised?
Come and look at them now.
So they went outside,
And Pooh looked at the knocker,
And the notice below it,
And he looked at the bell rope,
And the notice below that,
And the more he looked at the bell rope,
The more he felt that he had seen something like it,
Somewhere else,
Sometime before.
Handsome bell rope,
Isn't it,
Said Owl.
Pooh nodded.
It reminds me of something,
He said,
But I can't think what.
Where did you get it?
I just came across it in the forest.
It was hanging over a bush,
And I thought at first somebody lived there,
So I rang it,
And nothing happened.
And then I rang it out again,
Very loudly,
And it came off in my hand.
And as nobody seemed to want it,
I took it home,
And.
.
.
Owl,
Said Pooh solemnly,
You made a mistake.
Somebody did want it.
Who?
Eeyore,
My dear friend Eeyore.
He was,
He was fond of it.
Fond of it?
Attached to it,
Said Winnie the Pooh sadly.
So with these words,
He unhooked it,
And carried it back to Eeyore.
And when Christopher Robin had nailed it on to his right home place again,
Eeyore frisked about the forest,
Waving his tail so happily that Winnie the Pooh came over,
All funny,
And had to hurry home for a little snack of something to sustain him.
And wiping his mouth half an hour afterwards,
He sang to himself proudly.
Who found the tail?
I,
Said Pooh,
At a quarter to two.
Only it was a quarter to eleven,
Really.
I found the tail.
And that is the end of our story this evening.
Until next time,
Sweet dreams.
