Take a few moments to get comfortable either seated or lying down.
Make sure to grab any props that you might need in order to feel safe.
This meditation will lead you through an experience where you will explore the sense of belonging.
And so it is very important that during this meditation you feel held,
You feel nurtured,
And you feel nourished.
So maybe that means putting on your favorite warm socks,
Grabbing a few extra pillows to place under your knees or maybe behind your neck,
Grabbing a blanket if that feels helpful.
I'll give you a few moments to get adjusted and to grab all the props that you might need for that extra support.
And once you feel complete,
I would love for you to imagine yourself sinking deeper into whatever position you have created for yourself.
Seeing if you can place your legs even closer to the ground beneath you,
If you can feel the heaviness in your body,
Feeling yourself sink into the support of the chair you're seated on or the yoga mat you're on top of.
We're going to begin to take in some intentional breaths,
Some slow,
Sensual,
Intentional breaths through the nose,
Inhaling in slowly,
And on the exhale out the mouth,
Allowing that belly to expand outward.
And then on the exhale,
Bringing that belly closer to your spine.
On the inhale,
Bringing that belly outward.
And on the exhalation,
Bringing that belly closer to your spine.
On your own pace,
Doing this slow and sensual breath,
As if when you're breathing in through your nose and that belly is expanding outward,
It is moving like slow drip of honey.
No rushing,
No pressure,
Just gliding.
And with each inhale and exhale,
Notice your body getting a little more relaxed,
Feeling a bit more spacious,
A bit more open.
Now in your mind's eye,
Imagine you are walking down a neighborhood,
A neighborhood that is full of houses,
Houses to your right,
Houses to your left.
Each house has this sense that it is almost identical to all the houses on this road.
There might be small differences,
Maybe one house is white,
One is blue.
Maybe one has a door right in the center of the house,
The other one is off a little bit to the right.
But something about this street,
Everything feels the same.
Everything feels somewhat identical.
But as you slowly walk down the streets,
Looking at all the houses,
You notice there's tons of people entering into these homes,
Being welcomed.
And you look a little closer and you notice it seems like everyone that's entering into these homes has a similarity as well.
They might not be wearing the exact same clothing,
But there's something about their presence that feels the same,
That feels identical.
A part of you feels left out,
Like there's a party happening that you were not invited.
So you make your way into the first house,
Slowly walking up the stairs,
Trying to make eye contact with the host.
And as you approach the door,
About to knock to ask for entry,
You notice a person comes to the door and immediately they deny your entry.
They deny your sense of belonging.
You are not welcomed in that house.
What is it that they tell you is the reason why you are not able to come into this house?
And what does this house actually represent for you?
Does this house represent something from your past,
Something from your childhood,
A way that you wanted desperately to belong?
Maybe the house represents belonging to your family.
Maybe it represents having the same ideas as those in your community.
Maybe this house represents feeling liked by your peers and admired by your peers and seen by your peers.
What does this house represent from your own past,
From your own childhood,
From your own life?
And how does it feel to be rejected?
Were you not welcome to come in?
Notice the sensations,
The feelings that are arising in your body as you stand in front of this door being denied entry.
As you see so many people inside,
So many people welcomed with open arms.
What is the energy that you feel they denied you of?
Did they deny you of your voice?
Did they deny you the right to have connection?
Did they deny you the right to feel loved and wanted?
What do you feel was denied in you by this rejection?
And as you take the rejection,
Slowly walking backwards,
About to turn around,
You notice the moment you turn around to head back onto the path,
The person in the house puts in a huge rock into your backpack.
And that rock symbolizes the heaviness,
The shame,
The fear,
The insecurity that that experience created within you.
And so you continue walking on the path,
Feeling a little bit heavier,
But you continue making your way,
Passing all these houses,
Seeing all these people enter,
The connection,
The community,
The laughter,
The fun they seem to be having.
And so you approach another house,
Deciding that this is the place that you will enter and find community connection and belonging.
You feel a little doubtful because of your past experience,
But deeply inside,
You know that you are meant to have that feeling of belonging.
So it encouraged you to keep going.
You walk closer to this new house,
Seeing all the people inside,
The jokes they're having,
The fun they seem to be having.
And you're about to knock on the door once again,
And then the person that owns the house comes down and looks at you straight in the eye and denies you entry as well.
And they tell you why you are not meant to come into this house,
Why you do not belong,
Why they will not let you in.
As you hear and receive these words,
Notice how you're feeling,
What you make all of this mean about you.
What did they deny you in this house?
Did they deny you a sense of worthiness?
Did they deny you expression?
Everyone else inside the house was expressive and laughing and having so much fun.
And that denial of coming in there denied your expression that deeply wanted to come out.
What did it deny you?
And what did this house represent for you?
In what ways did you get denied belonging as a child or a young adult,
Or maybe even sometime in your recent life right now?
You notice your eyes begin to tear up as you're rejected once again.
So you back up and slowly turn around.
And once again,
This person in this house places a rock in your backpack,
Making the bag a little bit heavier now.
You continue on this road,
Going to houses left and right,
Each house representing a different time in your life where you were rejected,
Where you did not receive the belonging that you desired.
And each house,
They deny you,
Denying you your right to feel importance,
Your right to feel heard.
And each person in the house leaves you with the rock that they place in your backpack.
Until by the end of the road,
As you pass and went through all these multiple houses,
All these multiple experiences that you've had in your life,
Where you were looking for belonging and were rejected,
And each of them placed this burden inside of you,
Inside of your backpack that you had to carry all by yourself.
And so you leave this neighborhood with all this heaviness that you're carrying on your back and alone.
And you continue walking down this path and you notice the houses seem to disappear.
There's no more houses in sight.
So you walk down this lonely path,
No people to talk to,
No one to connect with,
Just you and nature.
There were many days where there were storms and rain and hell,
Cold nights,
Really hot days.
Many times you cried,
Many times you laid down and felt like you wanted to give up and didn't want to walk anymore,
But you kept going.
And soon you relied on nature to be your guide,
To be your friend,
To be your comfort,
The wind,
The trees,
The birds.
You started speaking to them,
They started speaking to you.
This beautiful relationship that you had with them was the only thing that kept you going.
You learned so much from them.
They gave you so much medicine,
So much wisdom.
And so you kept walking.
And as you kept walking,
All you could do was also reflect on all of those houses that denied you entry.
You reflected on what they denied inside of you,
How they denied you a right to feel like you belong,
How they denied you a right to be in your voice and to be in your power.
Reflected on all of that.
You reflected on the way that it felt to see people inside of those houses,
Living lives that you desire to live.
And now here you are,
All alone.
So you allowed yourself to cry,
To feel,
To be hurt,
To reflect.
And you kept walking and you kept walking until one day you heard a message coming from your left.
It was as if the waves of the ocean were speaking directly to you.
They said to you that it is time.
It is time to go underwater.
It is time to go to the underworld.
It was as if something inside of you knew exactly what that meant.
So without question,
You followed.
You walked to this ocean,
Backpack on you,
And you dive deep into this water,
Holding the backpack behind you as you swam all the way to the bottom.
Something inside of you knew exactly what to do.
You slowly opened the backpack and one by one,
Letting out each and every single one of the rocks that were in there.
As you laid them on the bottom of the ocean,
You created the ceremony with them,
A ceremony where you were able to speak with them,
To listen to them,
To hear all of their burdens.
And you didn't leave until you felt like there was a true healing.
And the moment it came,
You knew it was time to come back up.
And you left the rocks there.
And you slowly swam back to the top of the ocean.
And as you stepped out and back onto land,
You felt renewed.
Like a part of you was cleansed.
A part of you was reborn.
And there was a part of you that knew that you were meant to be on this journey,
That you were actually never meant to go into those houses.
Those houses were not meant for you.
There was something greater for you,
Something deeper.
And so you kept walking on your path.
And as you walked on your path,
It was almost as if this wisdom from the ocean just came to you instantly.
And it told you that the other street that you were on was not your path.
That's why the houses looked exactly alike.
You were not meant to go in there.
Everybody that was in those houses were lost,
Were following each other.
And they were so desperately searching for themselves,
Disconnected from their soul,
Disconnected from themselves and from their truth.
And your denial was your greatest gift.
And the only thing you needed to do was to go back into the ocean,
Back into the underworld,
To heal all the burdens they put on you.
All the beliefs that told you that something was wrong with you.
That's why you had to go in the ocean,
To cleanse all that.
Because there's nothing at all wrong with you.
You are actually on the path of your soul.
All of a sudden you walk the rest of this path with a bit more confidence,
With a bit more light.
And as you continued walking,
You started to notice there was a sea of women around.
Women that started to walk towards you,
To greet you.
They were excited to meet you as if they had heard about you already.
And they came and they sang and they surrounded you with hugs and kisses as if they were long lost family.
They each shared with you that they are now your community.
That they too were rejected from those same houses.
And they shared how that was their greatest gift.
Because once they went into the underworld,
They were able to cleanse all of those burdens that those experiences put on them.
And they came out reborn,
Connected to themselves and to their truth.
And they said,
Welcome home.
I invite you to take a deep breath into your nose.
And on the exhale,
Just coming back into your body and back into the space that may be your room or your yoga studio.
Wiggling your toes and orienting yourself back into your space.
Just recognizing colors and different objects around your room as you slowly open your eyes.
Knowing that you can always come back to the space where you're connected to these women.
The women that saw you.
The women that congratulated you for being on your path.
That you can always go back into the ocean to connect with the rocks.
If you need to commune with them more.
To get to know them,
To hear them and to release the burdens of the backpack.
And to always remember that your path might not be easy.
But there are people and there's nature all around showing you gifts left and right.
And it just requires us to open our eyes to receive.
And so my biggest prayer is that we all receive the wisdom,
The guidance that we need,
Either from beautiful humans on the same journey as us.
Or that we receive those wisdoms and guidances from nature,
From spirits,
From books,
From connections.
So that we all can feel a sense of belonging.
