How To Be An Embodied Ally For Racism

This is the 10 steps to becoming an embodied ally. This short lecture is for individuals who are looking to support removing racism out of their bodies, their families, communities and the world around them. These steps will give you a unique perspective on how to deal with racism and how to become an embodied leader.

Transcript

Hello everyone and thank you for joining this lecture.

During these few moments together,

I am going to go over my personal 10 steps of becoming an embodied ally and going over briefly with each step in terms of how exactly you can lean into being an embodied ally.

The first step to leaning into becoming an embodied ally is actually knowing the energies of racism.

Just like everything,

Everything has energy.

There is a relationship that we have with everything.

We have a relationship with ourselves,

Our bodies,

With water,

With the food that we eat,

With our community,

The land that we live on.

And there is also an energy that we have with the energy of racism,

A relationship that we have with it.

And so it's important for us to understand what that energy is.

Just like you would if you had a relationship with a lover or a friend or a dear parent that you were wanting to understand and get to know,

And you wanted to have a conscious relationship with it.

You would really get to know who this person is,

How they became who they are,

What experiences they've had in their lives,

Their beliefs,

Their thoughts,

What excites them.

You'd understand all of them.

And so I believe if you are stepping into this desire to look at racism within yourself and your community and your family,

That it requires you to actually understand the energy of racism.

And once we understand the energy of racism,

We can see when and how it fits inside of us.

If we understand what exactly is it made of.

And you can even begin listing some things right now.

Maybe if you really take a step back and look at racism,

You would understand that there might be elements of judgment there or perfectionism.

Maybe there is an energy of hierarchy or an energy of control or shame and guilt.

The list goes on.

And so it's important to clearly understand what makes up racism.

What are the ingredients of it?

Because if you understand the ingredients of racism and you're wanting to create something different,

You're not going to bring in the same energies,

The same elements of racism into the new thing that you're creating.

And I'll explain this a little bit deeper.

So if you are in this space where you're really desiring to,

Again,

Remove racism out of your body,

Your family,

Your community,

By stepping up and doing different,

You know,

Leadership or works of activism or speaking out to your community or to your family members,

You want to make sure that when you're in that space,

You're not bringing in the same ingredients of racism into this new space that you're creating.

There is no way that we can bring in the same seeds that have grown racism and bringing it onto a new land and thinking we're going to create something that's going to be good and that's going to be healing for people.

So we want to be very mindful of what are the energies of racism so we don't bring that into the new conversations.

If you're speaking to somebody about racism and you're trying to create a conscious connection,

You don't want to bring in that same energy.

And this is where people can be thinking they're doing the right thing.

They're doing the actions,

But they're wondering how come their efforts are not landing?

How come people of color are not feeling safe around them?

And that's most likely because there's still the energy of racism that's still being brought into this new creation.

And the only way that we can consciously not do that is to first understand what are the energies of racism.

And the second point of becoming an embodied ally is to have very clear vision.

And what I mean by that is to be able to see very clearly,

To see the past,

To see the present,

And to see the future,

To see your purpose,

Like where you're headed.

And you have to understand to be able to see the clarity of the past and understand what has happened in the past in order for you to really be able to see the present moments as well.

And the way that we do that is with shadow work and doing the shadow work on racism.

Because when we do the shadow work on racism,

We can actually be able to see the things that we haven't wanted and or been able to see in the past.

Because there's gifts and there are burdens from our past and our ancestors.

And if we understand what we don't want to carry forward,

That is power for us.

And the only way that we can mindfully and consciously choose that is to actually do the shadow work on racism.

To be able to see clearly means we do have to go in.

Otherwise,

We're living on the surface.

I did a recent meditation on healing the wounds of racism.

And one of the visualizations I created was there were two individuals,

A Black woman and a white woman,

And they both were healing the wounds of racism from their lineage.

And they both had to go in the basement.

And in the basement were people.

They were people from their past,

From their lineage,

From their family line that were holding in all of these energies that never got to be witnessed or dealt with in their lifetime.

But these two individuals went into the basement and sat with every single body in that basement to hear them,

To learn from them,

To witness them.

And that created great healing.

And so that does need to be done,

I believe,

As we're moving into this embodiment of what it means to be an embodied ally.

It's not just learning from our mind,

But it's learning with our bodies,

With our spirits,

With our connections.

And that is required to go deeper into the shadow work of racism.

And the third point of becoming an embodied ally is having deep community and accountability.

So a lot of times with racism,

It really wants to place us into these pockets of being individuals and being isolated.

But in order for us to come together to create this new reality does require us to be in great community,

For us to have a village to support this new way of being.

It is not meant to be done alone.

We do need a whole village to support this new vision.

And so if that is your vision,

It's to be a part of creating this new world,

This new reality,

This new way of being.

It is important that you find community of others that can stand in that same energy with you.

The fourth step of becoming an embodied ally is to choose to unhook from whatever lines you into these different thoughts,

Beliefs,

And actions.

So you want your thoughts,

Beliefs,

And actions to line up with this new purpose,

With this new energy.

We are always creating some type of trance.

There's a trance of racism that creates this belief system that we've all been swimming in and believing in.

And so in order to create this new trance,

This new belief,

This new energetic wave,

It's important that our thoughts,

Our actions,

And our beliefs line up to this new vision.

And so becoming aware of what are the thoughts that we're having throughout the day and just having simple awareness without judgment,

Right?

Without the hierarchy,

Without the energies of racism.

We're not trying to be perfect.

We're releasing all of that.

We're just noticing.

We're being one with,

We're getting curious with it.

Just like you would again with a relationship with a partner,

With a new lover of yours,

Who you're completely just enamored by.

There wouldn't be this judgment,

Right?

There wouldn't be this hierarchy.

You just want to get to know them.

And everything that you're learning is just really expanding even more curiosity.

And that's how you want to see when you start looking at your thoughts and your beliefs and your actions.

It's like,

Huh,

I wonder why do I shop at those stores only?

Why don't I shop over here?

Why do I only go to be entertained in these communities?

Why do not I go here?

Well,

Why do I only watch these movies?

How come I don't watch these and just getting curious with that.

And so in just noticing are my thoughts,

My actions,

And my beliefs lining up with this new purpose of mine,

With this new vision that I say that I want to create,

Are they lining up?

Are they not lining up?

Why are they not lining up?

Is that really my desire to have this new purpose,

This new vision?

Do I really want that?

Or do I think I need to be doing that?

You know,

Just having those types of natural,

Very authentic,

Real conversations with yourself really leans you into becoming an embodied ally.

And the fifth step is to have your web be super dynamic.

And what I mean by that is racism is interwoven into every area of our world,

In our politics,

In our media.

It's interwoven in our education system,

And our justice system.

Everywhere we look,

There it is.

And so this new vision that you are creating within yourself,

Within your family,

Within your community,

Within the world that you live in,

You also want to look at how can you bring this new vision that you want to create into every area of your life?

How can it be interwoven into the way that you make dinner,

Into the way that you shop,

Into the way that you connect with your friends,

Into where you shop at,

Where you go do yoga,

Where and how you meditate,

Who you work with,

What type of people do you hire,

What type of jobs do you take?

You want this to be interwoven into every area of your life,

Meaning that it's not separate.

This allyship is not in just this one area of your life,

It is connected to every part of you.

Because that is how racism shows up.

It's everywhere.

We're like swimming in this ocean of it.

The moment we wake up,

Right?

The moment we look at our phones,

There it is.

The moment we,

You know,

Look into our closet at the clothes that at the clothes that we have chosen to purchase,

Like there it is.

It's everywhere.

How can we also bring this new vision of reality everywhere that we are?

The sixth step is to really look at the mother,

The father wounds that are blindly carrying this into your new vision.

Just like if we were to have children,

Right?

And if we were about to be mothers or fathers,

And we're bringing this new child into the world,

If we're choosing to be conscious parents,

Prior to that,

We're going to be looking at our own parents,

Father,

Mother wounds.

What are the wounds that I have felt from my mother,

My father,

My caregiver?

And how can I make sure to have a relationship with those wounds so I don't blindly carry them in to my way of parenting with my child?

And so that's the kind of work that you would do if you're choosing to be a conscious parent.

And I believe the same is true when we're stepping into creating this new vision.

It is still a way of being a parent.

It's still a way of being a holder of this new vision.

We are the mothers,

We are the fathers,

We are the holders of this new vision that we are birthing,

This new life,

This new world,

This new way of showing up.

So we need to also look at our personal parent,

Caregiver,

Mother,

Father wounds.

What are those wounds?

If you had a parent that was very judgmental,

You might be carrying the wound of,

I need to be perfect.

I need to make sure I'm good.

I have to be good.

If I'm not good,

I'm not loved.

Because if you're not aware of that,

You will blindly carry that into this new vision that you're birthing.

And so as you're out there doing the quote unquote good work in the world,

You might bring in that same energy of,

I must be good.

I need you to see me as a good person.

When instead you really should be there focusing on the vision,

The parenting,

The birthing that you're giving for this new reality.

That should be the focus.

Not so much needing to be validated as a good person.

And so when we can look at those parent,

Father,

Caregiver wounds,

We can be very aware of that need to be seen as good,

As okay,

As validated.

And once we can see and acknowledge that,

We know when it's about to arise,

We can be with it as it comes up and we know how to relate to it differently.

And we know not to blindly carry that into our new way of stepping into allyship.

We will not blindly bring that in and weave that into our way of connecting with those in the community because we're now aware.

The sovereign point of becoming an embodied ally is to see the fragmentation.

So there's many different parts of us.

We have so many different parts.

So there's probably a part of you that really wants to be in this work,

But there's probably a part of you that does not.

And I think it's important to acknowledge all those parts.

We're not just one.

There's many parts of us.

And if our parts of us are moving in opposite direction,

Then the work that we're doing cannot be piercing.

It cannot activate.

And so I believe it's important to acknowledge all parts of us,

Not just the one that we want people to like and to see.

So there might be a part of you that feels very courageous and wants to step into this work,

But there might be a part of you that feels exhausted or feels like,

I don't want to do this.

I'd rather just have fun and enjoy life.

Why do I have to worry about this?

And maybe you have some shame of that part of you.

You would never admit that to anybody because you would probably get called all sorts of names.

So you don't want to admit that part of you.

And it's not that you have to admit this part of you out loud to anybody else,

But at least validate it within yourself.

Validate all the parts of you,

Even the parts that you feel guilty about or shameful about.

Let them have space to be.

Because the moment you have space to create for this part of you,

What ends up happening is that part of you now gets to be heard,

Gets to be witnessed,

Gets to be seen.

And there's some wisdom in that part of you.

And so actually allow space for all that wisdom to come out,

All the pain or all the feeling or all the like annoyance,

All the shame around it to come out fully and learn from it.

Because then what happens is your energy becomes clear and becomes clean.

So when you're out in the world,

There isn't this like underground pattern or belief system running the show that other people can feel.

Because people can feel energy.

They might not be able to pinpoint what is going on with this person,

But there's something in the energy that they're feeling where they're like,

I don't know why,

But I don't trust this person.

I don't know why,

But I don't feel safe with this person.

I don't know why,

But I don't agree with this person,

Even though they're saying and doing all the right things.

And it's usually,

It's those underground fragments,

Those underground parts of us that we haven't even acknowledged.

So create space and time for those parts to be seen and acknowledged.

The eighth point and becoming an embodied ally is to expand your ability to talk about race.

And so obviously that really requires doing some deep work when it comes to just amplifying your ability to lean into those uncomfortable conversations.

And to just notice like,

When does my nervous system feel like it's overburdened and it can't take anymore?

And what are some practices and tools that I can be with my nervous system and be with my body and be with my emotions so that I feel safe in myself?

I feel safe in my body.

I feel safe in these conversations.

And a lot of that is going to be done on your own,

Like in your own room,

On your own yoga mat.

But then you're going to start to bring that into these conversations.

So you can start to have some of these uncomfortable conversations more and more.

And the ninth point of becoming an embodied ally is to make sure your body is involved.

There's a body of racism and your body obviously holds memories of racism.

And so how can you connect to that?

How can you speak to your body when you're in these uncomfortable conversations and moments?

What's happening in your body?

Can you understand what your body is trying to communicate to you?

Can you talk to your body?

Can you hear your body speak to you?

Can you place a hand on those different parts of your body during those moments of uncomfortable conversations?

Or maybe when you're at home and you're reading a piece online that just really tugs at your heart,

Notice what you're feeling and connect to the parts of your body that are trying to communicate with you.

And the more that you do this,

The more that you're going to be stepping into this embodied allyship.

And the last point that I want to mention is safety of all matters.

And so as we are learning to lean into the safety of our own bodies in these conversations,

We also want to lean into the fact that safety of everyone matters.

And that's even when we're speaking to somebody about racism and maybe they have a different perspective or a different experience or an experience we just don't understand,

Their safety in their own body matters as well.

And the more that we can learn how to be safe within ourselves,

The more that we can understand and also learn how to create safety for another.

I hope that you've learned a little bit more just in terms of how you can expand your own ability to be with racism.

And I hope that there's at least one of these practices that you feel inspired to bring into your life.

Thank you so much for listening.

Reviews

Excellent reflection on creating new safe and happy spaces, in part by knowing and identifying ingredients if racism in order to abstain from bringing them i to those new places, as well as other practical mentality steps. It is sometimes, even carrying our highest aspirations deliberately, to know what is actually needed. Anyone looking to outgrow racism, or any kind of prejudice will find this useful. I will be returning repeatedly to this guide. Thank you!