For anyone lying awake tonight with a heavy heart,
This is for you.
Whatever happened,
Whatever you're carrying,
You can put it down now,
Just for a little while.
I know your heart hurts.
You feel lost,
Sad,
Disappointed,
Hopeless,
Angry.
Maybe all of it.
But right now,
In this moment,
You're allowed to rest,
Even when your heart is breaking,
Especially then.
So let's try to calm the waters a little.
Take a slow breath in through your nose and let it go out through your mouth.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Sometimes it feels good to let the breath out with a little sigh,
To let go of the pain with that subtle sound coming from deep within.
Breathe in and breathe out.
I now invite you to bring your awareness to your body.
Feel where you're holding the grief.
Where does it hurt the most right now?
Is it in your chest?
Does it feel heavy,
Like something is pressing down on you from the inside?
Or does it rather feel hollow,
Like a room that used to be full and now echoes?
Maybe the grief and the pain sit higher in your throat.
Does your throat feel tight,
Choked up,
Like there are words you never got to say?
Or tears that haven't come yet?
Is the grief in your stomach,
Maybe,
Giving you that kind of nausea,
Like your body is rejecting something it hasn't fully processed yet?
When you have located your pain and your grief in the body,
Let the weight of your whole body sink into the bed.
Let the mattress hold you.
You don't have to hold yourself up anymore tonight.
Breathe with me.
In for 4 counts.
1,
2,
3,
4.
Out for 6.
1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6.
Again.
In 2,
3,
4.
Out 2,
3,
4,
5,
6.
With each slow and mindful breath,
Your nervous system is beginning to believe that you are safe.
Now that we have calmed down a bit,
I want to offer you a thought that will be soothing for tonight.
Grief and heartache is love with nowhere to go.
Let that sink in.
That ache in your body and your heart,
It is just a sign of how deeply you loved.
The fact that you feel this deeply means you are someone who knows how to love.
And that love,
It still belongs to you.
Nobody can take that from you.
The tenderness you gave so freely to someone else,
Give it to yourself tonight.
The patience,
The warmth,
The grace you extended to them.
You are allowed to receive that now,
From yourself,
For yourself.
Hold yourself the way you once hoped to be held.
You don't need to wait for someone to hug you and comfort you.
Gently place one hand on your heart and feel it beating.
And then,
Place one hand on your stomach and feel the warmth of your own touch.
One hand on your heart,
One on your belly.
Your heart is still beating through all of it.
The sadness,
The long lonesome last nights,
It never stopped.
It kept you going.
And it will keep beating,
Hopeful and faithful,
Long after this pain has softened.
There is something you should know about this hour of the night.
In the dark,
The mind tends to make permanent what is only temporary.
It tells you,
This is how it will always feel.
But that is not the truth.
That is just the night and the darkness talking.
You are not alone.
You are part of the oldest human story there is.
I know it is hard to see it that way right now.
But always remember,
The pain is not the end of your story.
It is the end of a chapter.
And chapters end so that new ones can begin.
Let's turn to a mantra that will guide us through the rest of this night.
Repeat after me,
Softly and gently.
You can whisper it to yourself or say it silently.
I am still here.
I am still whole.
I am love.
I am safe.
I am held.
You don't have to know what comes next or how you will feel in the morning.
You can pick up the grief tomorrow if you need to,
The ache,
The heartache.
But tonight,
It doesn't need you.
I am still here.
I am still whole.
I am still love.
I am safe.
I am held.
Let your eyes be soft behind your lids.
Let your jaw relax.
Let your hands open,
Palms gently upward.
A small gesture of release.
I am still here.
I am still whole.
I am still love.
I am safe.
I am held.
Rest now.
Rest.
