Go All-In On What Brings You Joy

The quote I chose for this week is,

Appearances don't matter.

What is important are the intuitive feelings within your heart.

And this quote comes from my book,

Your Unique Path to Wealth.

And I think it's so important to talk about because appearances can be deceiving,

As we all know.

But especially with the amount of time that the average person is spending on social media,

We're constantly in this cycle of comparing what we think the lives of other people are like.

And very often,

This causes us to not focus on what makes us happy.

In other words,

It's more conditioning to make us think that we need these certain things to be happy,

Instead of asking ourselves the question that only we can answer,

Which is,

What does actually bring us joy?

So when I talk about the intuitive feelings within your heart,

There is a direct connection with what makes you happy.

Because your heart is happy.

The more we tune in to the heart and live from the heart,

The happier we'll be.

And our heart is always trying to communicate with us,

But it often doesn't feel like it because it communicates through a soft,

Quiet,

And gentle voice.

And when I say appearances don't matter,

I mean that what makes you happy doesn't necessarily make someone else happy,

And vice versa.

So the topic that we're going to talk a lot about in this video is where happiness comes from,

And you asking yourself the question whether or not you're happy now,

And if not,

What can you do to change that?

And if yes,

What can you do to keep that happiness alive,

To keep growing and nurturing it?

So,

Life can be so beautiful,

And we have everything we need to be happy already within us,

And the question is how do we activate that?

How do we lean into that?

How do we grow and nurture that?

And a lot of times when we consume social media,

It looks like I know it sounds cliche,

But it still has a powerful effect on us,

Which is why I have to bring it up.

It looks like having more money will bring us happiness.

And it looks like having more fame or success in a certain art form will bring us more happiness.

Or it looks like being surrounded by certain types of people will bring us happiness.

And so we can't be happy.

This is the unconscious messaging until we have these things in our life or these experiences or these connections.

But when you look back at your own life,

Ask yourself when have you been the happiest?

A lot of times for me personally,

It's the small moments.

It's making coffee in the morning,

Going out into nature,

Dancing,

Listening to a beautiful song,

Getting a good night's sleep,

Exercising,

Having healthy food in my body.

It doesn't have to necessarily be this hard,

Out of reach thing to live a happy life.

And the more we consume content that shows us people who appear to be happy doing something that we're not doing or we're not able to do in our life,

The more it feels like happiness is out of reach.

But I encourage you to go within and to look for the answers within yourself about what kind of life you want to live instead of looking to people outside of you.

Because this is not a conscious question that we're asking ourselves when we're scrolling through social media,

But unconsciously we're comparing ourselves to them and we're growing this idea of what happiness looks like.

And a lot of times what it comes down to is not looking to society to tell you how you should live your life,

But instead looking to your own experience.

And again,

This is something that so many people talk about,

But we need to talk about it,

Because if we don't talk about it,

We don't bring awareness to this important thing about what makes us happy.

And when we don't have awareness on this subject,

We automatically grow these ideas within our mind of what we think we need to be happy.

Now I want to add a caveat here that is very important,

Which is a lot of people say money doesn't bring happiness,

But it does solve a lot of problems,

And it is very essential to value money and some other things in our life.

We do need good connections,

We do need friendships,

Maybe a romantic partner,

Or it doesn't have to be in any specific form,

But we do need other people in our life in order to feel good.

So I'm not saying you can be with no money completely on your own and find happiness just by going within,

But a lot of times we over-emphasize the value that things outside of us can give us,

Instead of appreciating what we already have.

So maybe you do need money to meet your survival needs,

And you do need important connections in your life to feel connected with other people,

But maybe you don't need to be a multi-millionaire,

Maybe you don't need to always be traveling around the world,

Or maybe you don't need to be surrounded by the top musicians or top famous people that you think would bring happiness into your life.

Happiness is often a shift in perspective,

And it's not about having the specific things that we've been taught to want,

It's about being able to see the things that already bring us joy.

When you look for joy,

You'll find it.

And this is going back to the quote that I chose,

Appearances don't matter,

Which is why it's so important to follow the intuitive feelings within your heart.

And I'm just going to ask the rhetorical question,

But what if you already have everything you need to live a happy,

Complete,

And whole life?

What if there are desires in your heart that you want to achieve in the future,

But at the same time,

The happiness that you crave is already present?

And it's going to be so fun to manifest those dreams and desires,

But the main purpose for their existence isn't for the achievement of it,

But for creating a journey for you to walk,

And the journey is where all the joy and happiness is.

I remember I saw a clip on social media,

Talk about social media,

I forget who it was,

But it was a famous actor having this huge award,

And they said,

I'm so glad I didn't make my life revolve around getting this reward,

Because it's not really that satisfying to finally get it.

Now I'm paraphrasing,

I forget the actual video,

But the point still stands that if we're waiting for a future moment to be happy,

It's not going to fulfill us in the way that we crave,

Because that's so much pressure.

So for example,

If you're saying,

I'll be happy when this happens to me,

Let's say when I have this amount of money,

When I have this relationship,

When I have this impact,

Then you're saying I'm not going to be happy now until that moment arrives.

So when that moment arrives,

Let's say you've been waiting for 10 years,

10 years of not being happy is all of a sudden going to be fulfilled by this single moment.

That's how much pressure you're putting on it.

And ironically,

When you crave something that desperately,

It'll actually be more likely to run away from you.

So what I've found through my own personal experience is the goal isn't to achieve the goals,

Which sounds kind of crazy,

But for me it's more about increasing the baseline happiness,

Increasing the joy I feel in my day-to-day life,

And then enjoying the pursuit of the goals,

But realizing the pursuit is more important than the destination.

Happiness is unique to you.

It's not something that we can just copy from other people.

It's not a template that we can reuse.

We have to find out for ourselves.

But that being said,

There are some things that have pretty reliably brought happiness to people.

And we all know these things.

They don't need to be introduced.

So I mentioned it a little bit earlier,

But gratitude,

Appreciating what we already have,

Appreciating the relationships already present in our life,

Appreciating the money that we do have,

And the needs that we are able to satisfy.

And then,

On top of that,

Very relatively small things make a huge impact.

So we think that when I have all this success,

All this money,

All this fame,

I'll be happy.

But what if you could be happy just by getting on a more regular sleep schedule,

Getting greater sleep?

What if the happiness from getting good night's sleep,

Having consistent exercise,

Eating well,

And going into nature is actually not just double,

But five times,

Ten times the amount of happiness you would genuinely have if you were a millionaire.

Or if you were the most famous person in your field,

Whatever your field is.

We overestimate these things that society teaches us to value,

And their ability to bring us joy,

And we underestimate the things and tools that are already available to us.

Sometimes,

As I mentioned before,

Happiness is just a shift in perspective.

It's about realizing that,

Very likely,

You're already living a life that your younger self wanted to live so badly.

If you've been following your heart,

You're already doing at least some of the things that your younger self couldn't wait to do.

And look at the beautiful life that you've manifested and created for yourself.

And I'm not saying you shouldn't want other things and shouldn't strive for more,

But instead of looking at it as striving for more,

Look at it for striving for something new,

Or striving for something that excites you,

But not waiting for that exciting thing to enter your life before you give yourself permission to enjoy your life.

It's so often the case where we think that this happiness is going to come,

Instead of realizing that it's something we can consciously choose to create in this moment.

Now,

I know I like to go after social media a lot,

But personally,

That's where I feel like I'm draining most of my energy.

But we could also look to magazines,

Newspapers,

Movies,

TV shows,

The news,

General societal conversations,

If they're not too much consciousness in that conversation,

All repeating similar ideas about what makes us happy.

And at the same time,

I don't know,

Depending on who you're watching or who you're getting your information from,

There seems to be a collective disillusionment of the idea of what actually makes us happy.

So I'm seeing more and more content,

Which I think is a great trend,

Showing that a lot of the things we've been raised to believe make us happy,

Won't actually make us happy.

And it's almost become cliche that we don't want to just get a job,

Get a house,

Get married,

And die.

But the thing is,

Some people do want that,

But that's not the point I'm trying to make here.

What I want to share is I think this cycle is repeating in a new form.

So it's almost as if the new formula is travel the world,

Don't work that much,

And pursue your passion.

And the thing is,

This can be great advice for a lot of people,

But again,

There is no one-size-fits-all source of happiness.

Maybe what brings you happiness isn't what's trendy on social media,

Or isn't what's trendy in the newest movies,

Or the books that you're reading.

It doesn't matter what makes you happy.

There's no right or wrong way.

Maybe even the things that I mentioned,

Like exercise,

Sleep,

And eating healthy can benefit you,

But maybe they're not really big sources of happiness for you.

And the question is,

What makes you happy?

And whatever that is,

Give yourself permission to go all in on it without worrying about what other people think about it,

Or not second-guessing yourself,

Because it doesn't bring happiness to other people,

And therefore you're questioning whether it's bringing you happiness.

A lot of this journey is learning to bring our focus,

Our energy within our body,

And bringing awareness to what we genuinely feel,

Instead of looking to other people to validate how we feel.

If you feel genuine joy in your heart when you participate in an activity,

Or have a certain kind of thought,

Then that happiness is real.

That feeling,

That emotion is real.

And it doesn't matter whether or not someone else will validate that for you.

If someone says or implies that what you did shouldn't bring you happiness,

That doesn't change the happiness that you've already felt.

So,

If you feel it within you,

It's real.

And that's a really important point to feel within your being,

That you can trust what you feel,

And that you know better than anybody else what makes you happy.

And I really like this idea I share in a lot of videos,

Which is,

Just because something makes very many people happy,

Doesn't necessarily mean it's going to make you happy.

And the only way to find out what truly brings you joy is through experimentation.

Through looking at your own life experience and coming to your own conclusions.

And you can read books if you feel inspired to read them about happiness,

About how to live a good life,

About how to increase your productivity,

Whatever it is.

But ultimately,

It's up to you to discern which points from those books or those sources of information apply to your unique situation.

And if you're not sure,

Try one out,

See how it feels.

If becoming an early riser works for you and it makes you happy,

That's amazing.

But if you prefer being a night owl,

Then it doesn't matter how many people are saying it's so much better to be an early riser,

You know through the own experience in your body that being a night owl brings you more joy,

Brings you more happiness.

Now one very important piece of this is appearances don't matter,

But what does matter is being honest with yourself.

When you try things out in your life and you see whether or not they bring you joy,

It's so important that you're truly honest with yourself about whether or not the thing that you're trying out is making you happy.

So you may hear these things,

Even ones that I've already mentioned,

Let's say creating a gratitude journal,

And at the end of the day you write down five things that make you grateful.

Try this out,

Let's say for a week,

If you feel inspired,

And then after that week ask yourself,

Did that practice actually make me happier?

Maybe it did,

Maybe it didn't.

But just because so many people say it's good for you,

Doesn't mean it's automatically good for you.

If that makes sense.

And when you start to look at your life in this way,

I know it may sound like I'm being a little bit repetitive right now,

But when you really start to ask yourself and genuinely inquire what makes you happy,

It starts with little changes in your life,

But eventually they can lead to massive changes.

You can leave a job you don't like,

You can leave a city you don't like,

You can leave an area of the world you don't like,

You can find sports that you never thought you would ever be interested in,

You can find creative expressions and art forms that you didn't even know existed as a child,

The opportunities are endless.

And it all starts with small bite-by-bite-sized steps,

But very quickly it could snowball into a beautiful life.

And imagine you create a life where every activity that you have the conscious ability to choose,

Becomes something that you genuinely enjoy.

Think about that.

Every single day you can wake up,

Eat the food that makes you happy,

Wake up at the time of day that makes you happy,

Do the physical activities that make you happy,

Spend your time creating things that make you happy,

Or listening to music that makes you happy.

All of a sudden,

You're not living an entire life based on what other people have told you will make you happy,

But you're living it based on what genuinely and authentically makes you happy.

And I think a lot of times in modern day society many of us get disconnected from our true selves.

We believe that just because people say or imply that this music is good or buying these things makes us happy or living this place or traveling this often makes us happy,

Automatically it's going to make us happy.

And if we're not in tune with what our body is genuinely feeling,

We may not even know what makes us happy.

We may just take that at face value.

But when you begin to question every single thing that you do in your life,

You begin to build a life of genuine happiness and joy brick by brick,

Step by step.

And this isn't some practice that you need to use a lot of discipline for but it becomes an exciting adventure of self-discovery which is what it's all about,

This life journey.

We're letting go and shedding the layers of who we're not to remember who we are.

And I guarantee you if there's any part of you that feels a little bit numb,

That feels like you just want to watch social media or watch the most popular TV shows,

But there's some part of you that knows it's not very fulfilling no matter how little you may feel in those moments or how much you feel things but it feels like those feelings are being hidden or almost repressed in a way know that within you is such a pure and beautiful light which is your essence and there's also such rich tapestry of emotion.

No one has no little to no feelings.

It's all there it just gets masked,

It gets buried.

And when you remove all the layers of the onion,

Using another cliche example,

But when you remove all these things these energies,

These forms of stimulation that aren't actually aligned with your heart you will start to feel more.

You'll start to feel more excited to wake up in the morning you'll start to feel more excited to be alive.

The general vibe of pessimism or apathy that you may have picked up from watching the news or other sources of energies will start to dissipate and you'll start to realize that the point of being alive is to be alive and every single moment is filled with magic.

And it's almost like waking up and snapping out of this illusion that you need to spend your entire life chasing this goal thinking that the fulfillment of this goal will bring you happiness and you realize the happiness is already here.

This is something many of us hear all the time but it's different when you feel it within your being.

When you truly feel at your core that there's no future moment when the happiness will arrive it's something that you create and cultivate like a garden right now you realize that there's nothing that needs to be strived for.

You can strive and have ambition.

It doesn't mean the ambition will completely go away,

But the motivation underlying that ambition will change.

You pursue something for the joy of the pursuit you pursue something because like any road trip or a movie you have to go in a certain direction otherwise nothing happens.

But realize that no matter what direction you end up going in,

The joy is in the journey.

The joy is in appreciating every single step as it unfolds.

When you feel the sunshine on your skin have that coffee or tea in the morning,

Eat one of your favorite meals,

Have a conversation that lights you up with someone who really just makes you feel good and makes you happy play the board games with family or friends,

Create the thing that you want to create,

Do some form of art or go to an art show,

Appreciate art.

These are things that don't necessarily cost so much money,

They're not so out of reach for many of us and yet we tend to avoid them just because a lot of times we think once I have this thing,

Once I have this experience then I'll give my permission to myself to pursue these things that I know make my heart happy.

And I'm realizing as this video goes on that my core message here is not to delay happiness.

Not to delay happiness,

Realize it's available to you now and to ask yourself honestly what makes you happy without letting yourself be influenced by what makes other people happy.

And it's true that what makes your heart genuinely happy may be the things that the movies and society genuinely say make you happy.

You could be in complete alignment with the majority and that's beautiful and there's nothing wrong with that.

But the important thing to realize is you still want to choose it because it makes you genuinely happy and you know that because of how your body reacts to what you're choosing to do.

You're not doing something just because other people have told you it's what will make you happy.

In other words,

You're living your life for yourself and not for other people.

Because if you live it for other people,

At the end you'll realize you lived it for no one because who is that other person?

Even if your parents or your teachers or mentors told you to live a certain way,

Maybe they inherited that idea from someone else that taught them.

And it's your life,

You're the creator and it's essential that you don't get fooled by appearances.

And the key is to go within your heart,

Bring your focused energy and center there and allow the joy and the answers to arise spontaneously from within.

You know at the core of your being what you enjoy doing and what you don't enjoy doing.

You know what kind of life you want to live for yourself.

And the answer is already within you,

But sometimes it's hard to hear.

So when you create that intention and that space to go within and hear what your heart wants to communicate with you,

The answer will become obvious.

And you realize all these illusions that you've inherited about what a happy life looks like through the lens of other people doesn't matter.

It just doesn't matter.

What matters is that you know what makes you happy and you live that life.

And that's what makes life magical.

I think when you see people that get really,

Really happy as they get older,

It's because they're more and more clear about what they genuinely enjoy.

And they create a life based around those ideas.

But it doesn't mean you have to become older to live this way.

It's just maybe a tendency that tends to happen.

So it's something you can choose to do right now.

You can choose to live the most magical and beautiful life for you.

And it can be the most simple life,

Or it can be the most complex life.

Maybe being an investment banker in Wall Street is what makes you heart happy.

And so many people that you read on articles complaining about this job,

Maybe it's what you were born to do and you love it.

The key is appearances don't matter.

There's no universal right or wrong way to live your life.

Even the health experts telling you the things that sound amazing and that we think we all should do may not apply to you.

It's not always about having more discipline.

It's about being more honest with yourself about what kind of life you want to live.

And giving yourself that self love where whatever life you want and create for yourself,

You don't judge yourself for wanting that kind of life.

You just think it's amazing and you appreciate it.

How cool is it that your unique essence of pure love,

Unique form of the infinite universe getting to enjoy a magical life?

And one of the most beautiful parts about being alive is realizing that every single person gets to live their own life that they create for themselves.

So the question is,

What life do you genuinely want to live?

What life do you want to create for yourself?

And maybe you don't have the answer right now.

And that's also beautiful because the period of self discovery is so much fun.

Self exploration is one of the most amazing parts of being alive in my opinion.

And you get to discover through trial and error what makes you happy,

What doesn't make you happy.

And then when you find the things that make you happy,

You get to bring as much of that into your life as you want.