Let's dive deeper into why you keep trying to rescue others.
And stopping that automatic pattern that's happening in the subconscious.
Half the time,
You don't even realize you're actually doing it.
You think you're being a nice person,
That you're supporting them,
All of that.
There is a difference between being kind and supportive and being nice and trying to rescue.
Number one.
You're not rescuing yourself.
You're trying to rescue you by rescuing another person.
Instead.
Now,
In order to rescue you,
To help you,
To support you,
You have to actually fully look at you.
And that can be scary as fuck,
Especially when there's so much shame in this world.
About being.
And perfect.
Having flaws,
All of that kind of stuff.
So it's really acknowledging in order to rescue you,
You need to acknowledge you and where you've been and your patterns and even also the pain you've experienced as a child.
So when you start working on helping you,
Rescuing you,
Supporting you,
You also have to face a lot of emotions.
That can be scary.
So what you keep doing instead is going outside of you instead of going inside of you.
To help you because you deserve it too.
You deserve that help.
You need you.
Okay.
Also,
It could also be,
So for example,
With me,
When I first started doing this was because I didn't know this at the time,
It was all subconscious.
It was actually because I couldn't help my dad when he was sick.
I couldn't rescue him,
Save him.
And I didn't really know I was doing this,
But the pattern is,
After my dad got sick,
The types of men I would date were very different.
The ones prior,
I mean,
Although not perfect,
We can watch other shit together.
The ones afterwards.
Had issues upon issues upon issues,
Like deep issues.
And I kept trying to.
Rescue them,
Not knowing that's what I was doing.
And of course,
The two main ones were narcissists.
And as a wounded empath.
There's a difference between being an empath.
And wounding.
Okay,
An empath,
I mean there's a whole other video about an empath.
Feels?
What that other person's feeling,
But it's outside of them.
They don't take it in.
They don't take responsibility for it.
It's not theirs.
It's just an awareness.
When you're wounded,
You take it all in.
And that's why you can't be around,
You know,
A lot of groups and things like that is because you're absorbing it as if it's all yours.
Anyways,
So having that in place as well,
What a wonderful disaster those were,
But they were my biggest lessons.
You know,
They're the mirror.
Everything's a mirror,
Right,
To show you.
And which I didn't understand.
I want to go off here again.
I didn't understand at the time.
Because someone would be like,
Oh,
It's just a reflection of you.
And I'm like,
But I'm not a cheater.
Like I,
That's just not what I,
Who I choose to be.
And I've been faced in situations and still not chose it.
So I knew like,
This is just,
It's not me.
But what I was facing is a mirror showing me that I didn't think I am worthy of being that I wasn't worthy of loyalty.
It was showing me a reflection of my self-worth because I was still staying in that situation.
It's not as if it happened and then I left.
I kept going back as if something was going to magically change.
So that's what it was actually mirroring.
So let's go back to my rewind to my original point,
Which is rescuing others.
I can veer off.
Okay,
So there's,
Yeah,
Doing it because you're not rescuing yourself,
Trying to rescue others.
The other thing is,
Is.
Trying to save yourself.
So in a particular situation,
Someone could be going through something.
And it's making you feel a certain way.
It's affecting you in a particular way.
And if you are a wounded empath,
You're feeling what they're going through.
So you're having a hard time dealing with these emotions as well.
So what you're trying to do is fix them,
Rescue them,
So you can stop feeling this way.
Okay.
Another part is Let's say you have abandonment fears,
Anxious attachment.
If you fix them and save them,
Then you won't be abandoned,
Right?
So you're also trying to rescue them in order to avoid you.
To avoid.
.
.
Things happening that you're scared are going to happen.
But if you go back to rescuing you,
Healing you,
Supporting you,
You clear all that up.
And then you're good to go.
The other thing that happens.
Is you then enable them.
Rescuing them doesn't help.
It really just enables them.
It becomes a temporary Band-Aid.
And nothing more.
So in the situations that I was part of.
One of them in particular.
It seemed as though I was helping.
But then eventually he went backwards anyways.
Because he didn't do the proper inner work himself.
I was just the band-aid solution.
Of what was going on with him.
And nothing more.
And he's mentioned before that in a certain situation I rescued him.
On some level.
It wasn't planned to,
I just,
Apparently I rescued him by just even meeting him.
Because he was going down a certain path.
And then he changed part of that path when meeting me.
The thing is,
He still went back.
To that way of living.
So until someone does it for them.
And really does that work,
You can support them as they're going through it.
You cannot do it for them.
You cannot rescue them.
You're taking away also from their lesson,
From their life.
And sometimes when it comes to certain people in your life that are dear to your heart.
It's hard to watch.
It's hard to see them go through it.
It's also looking at them as not wounded though.
So what happens also is you end up looking at these people that need rescuing.
As wounded.
As not capable.
But they are.
Instead of seeing them as something to fix and rescue.
And not capable.
See them as someone that is capable.
That they can do it.
And just support.
No fix.
You don't do the work for them.
You support them.
So you want to create an environment for them to be able to do it for themselves.
Okay.
But you create it.
From the love within you,
Not from.
I don't know how to explain this.
Taking forceful action kind of space.
More from seeing the light within them,
Knowing that it's there and knowing that they're capable,
Whether they choose to or not.
Is their choice,
This is their journey.
And remembering that nothing bad is actually happening.
See,
As humans,
We've defined what's good and bad.
But it's all a journey.
Someone is going through a journey.
That's all that's happening,
It's their journey.
So it's also seeing that.
Seeing the light within them.
Gives them that space,
That energy.
When you see them as something to be fixed or rescued,
You're feeding into their energy.
You're feeding into that.
But when you see them as someone that is capable.
You're feeding something different.
That's how you really help people.
See them as powerful.
Don't see them as weak and small and uncapable.
Okay.
That's how you really help.
Like,
Honestly,
I've gone to certain people,
You know,
For coaching or this or that.
Or even just certain friends.
And during hard times.
And I had realized that They labeled me.
A certain way just because I came to them in a moment of vulnerability and weakness.
But the friends that have stuck with me and that I continue going to and coaches that I continue going to.
See the light in me while they're helping me.
Where others just see the wounded part.
And would completely label me as just that wounded part.
Because it makes them feel better because now they have something to say.
They have something to rescue now.
Okay.
And,
You know,
For some business coaches,
It's like,
Well,
They could take ownership for the improvement.
Right.
Things like that.
So being mindful of that.
Seeing that person as capable.
What else do I want to add?
I think I'm going to stop it right there.
