I'm a clinical psychologist and a number of my clients report that they're over-scheduled,
Doing too much,
And at the same time feeling really underinvested in their lives,
Like they're going through the motions.
One of the things that really drains us is when we're not engaging in life and activities fully,
When we don't feel like we're in a whole body yes with life.
I want to show you four questions that you could ask yourself.
When you're deciding whether or not to take on an activity,
When you're deciding what to say no to,
What to say yes to,
But also when you're just deciding,
What is the course of my life?
How could I create a life that feels less draining and more energizing?
The first question is,
Is this a whole body?
Yes.
Or whole body know.
Your body?
May respond first.
It may say things like,
Uh-uh,
Not right for me.
And when you override that whole body no,
What can end up happening is you're forcing yourself to take on things that are a mismatch for you,
Your style,
Your temperament,
Or even what's right for you.
So listen to your body first.
But we can't just end at the body because sometimes our body says no because we're just anxious and we don't really want to do it because it sounds kind of hard,
Right?
So we have to ask this next question,
Is what are your values?
Does doing this activity,
Taking on this work project,
Interacting with this person align with your values?
How do you want to show up in this moment.
When you're aligned with your values,
You will feel more energized and you could actually turn any activity into a place where you can live out your values.
So the next question is,
What are my values here?
And how could I align myself with them,
Act in a way that shows them?
That will energize you.
But that's not the only thing.
Each of us has talents,
We have gifts,
We have ways of being in the world that come easily to us.
And I call those your genius energy,
Your interests,
The things that light you up,
The things that you get in flow with.
So the third question to ask yourself is.
.
.
Does this use my genius or could I bring my genius to bear here?
I have a genius for gardening,
Nature,
Being hands in the soil.
And I found early on when my kids were little that when I was totally burned out with parenting,
I could just bring them down to the garden and dig in the soil together and it revitalized me a little bit.
So what is your genius?
What comes easily to you?
What's your interest?
What do you want to keep reading about?
What comes easily to you in terms of flow in your work?
And could you bring that to bear?
That will help with your energy drain.
The fourth question that I'd love for you to ask yourself.
Is this in service of more than just me?
When we get out of ourselves and we start giving to others,
Then we also have a newfound source of energy,
One that's about our interconnection,
One that's about generosity,
Which brings a lot of happiness and also revitalizes us.
So ask yourself those four questions when you're saying,
Yes or no to something or maybe you already have something on your schedule you're feeling a little drained around.
How could you make it a whole body yes?
Or if it's a whole body no,
Can you say no?
Can you bring your values into the picture?
How do you want to show up in this engagement?
How can you use your genius?
Could you get a little creative to bring some of those aspects of yourself that are uniquely you?
And how can you make it more than just about you?
How can you be of service here?
When you have three of those four things going on,
You may find that you are less drained.
You'll do less of the things that drain you because you'll be able to say no more easily and you'll know what things to say yes to and how to engage in them.
That is wise effort.
