We Let Our Emotional Bucket Fill Over And Then We Explode Upon An Innocent Person

I notice I did this quite often in the past where I would overdo things, and not speak my truth, until my emotion buckets fills up to its brim. The next person I speak to, innocent as they might be, get the brunt of my anger and frustration, as I let my emotion bucket spill over and explode upon them.

Transcript

Hi everyone! I hope that you're doing amazing wherever you are in the world. My name is Bhoomshakha and I welcome you to my channel. As always I'm so grateful that you're listening, Subscribing and commenting. I really appreciate the support. In this one I want to speak to you about an important topic that I've been thinking about a lot because I am at home right now as I've told you guys and I am surrounded by my family all day long which in one way is great because I love them and they're great and they do take care of me. My mom cooks amazing food for us and I'm grateful to have a space to stay while this pandemic is going on. I also noticed that there are things that I have, Habits I think I should say, That I've kind of established living on my own for so long that suddenly I'm not able to have those habits anymore. One of the things that I used to do a lot and this is something that's a negative thing I'm not saying this is something that everyone should do or that I should do but this is something that I used to do a lot and this is actually this pandemic and this quarantine or lockdown is kind of teaching me a lot about this tendency of mine. One of the things I used to do a lot is I would spend time perhaps with friends or family and then I would go back home and I would be full of these emotions, These statements, These retorts that I did not actually use when I was with the individual. So for example they said they might have said something to me that I found insulting or I found degrading or I just I didn't like the way they said it to me, Whatever it was right, So they said something to me and I was like no I don't like it. Instead of saying it out loud being like alright you know what I really didn't like when you said this to me I think it's wrong and perhaps maybe I was like that two years ago but I'm not like that anymore and I'd like really like you to reformulate your idea about me or something like that whatever I might say. Instead of saying it out loud and being like okay this is what I feel I'm sorry you shouldn't say that to me. Instead of doing that I just fill that into or I put that into my emotion bucket, My heart basically. I put myself put it into my heart or into myself and I fill myself with it and then something else might happen and they might say say say something else and again instead of saying it out loud and saying no I don't think that's right I think this is the way it is or it might not not be something about me might just be something about something else maybe they make a racist comment or a sexist comment or they make a joke about something and I'm like that's not right I don't think that's right or something like whatever it might be it doesn't really have to be in that particularly about me but it irks me or it's something that I think is wrong and I should speak up upon it. Normally I try to keep the harmony and I've spoken about this many times before that you know we like to keep the harmony but this person might say something and you know we kind of keep on putting all those things all of those hurts all of those emotions and negative feelings all of that stuff into our emotion bucket. We keep on pouring it into ourselves and we fill ourselves right. Now what happens with introverts or with us in general when we fill our emotion bucket is that we're able to go back home and be able to deal with it so we'll journal about it we'll you know punch our pillow a bit I'm guessing or maybe you know some people probably do that or we'll you know journal about it mostly is the best way to do it or we'll meditate on it or we'll do a little bit of yoga or we'll go for a run and we'll kind of let go of that emotion bucket a little bit we'll kind of empty it out using that strategy we won't talk to the person who caused us to fill our emotion bucket but we'll empty it out using these techniques these self-care techniques so we'll take a hot bath or ever get a massage or things like that hopefully hopefully you're doing this to remove stuff from your bucket and so our buckets empty again you know if we go to sleep you feel good we wake up our bucket is empty we feel great especially if you live by ourselves you know we don't have to kind of deal with anything and then we go out again and then we deal with people again our emotion bucket gets full again and then what happens we empty that at home now unfortunately what happens sometimes sometimes is that we are filling our emotion bucket so much because we have a couple of different meetings with four different people or five different people and we're here and there and everywhere and our emotion bucket fills so much that it overflows and instead of actually being able to go home and recuperate it's a point where it happens in the middle of one of our meetings and this person says something and our emotion bucket is full and overflows and we scream or we cry or we show some extreme emotion where we are not able to control anymore our emotion bucket is full and it needs to overflow and it's gonna overflow because the person is in front of us it's gonna flow overflow at them now what happens a lot of times is that usually happens in front of our partner so if we are dating someone or with our family if we are living with someone we usually kind of overflow upon them so we start screaming at them yelling at them throwing a tantrum being wild and or whatever might be however you get rid of that bucket the emotions in your bucket right unfortunately as I said what happens is that we kind of do it to people that we love instead of actually telling the person the person that said something wrong to you no this is not right this is not right please don't say that to me anymore instead of saying that to whoever it might be your friend your boss your acquaintance the barista behind the counter the cashier the things like that so saying that to them we fill our emotion bucket and we keep our mouth shut and we hold on to it and then eventually we blow over or blow up or explode in front of someone who didn't deserve it who doesn't deserve it who didn't deserve it who never deserved it but who has to deal with your emotion bucket overflow or your explosions because we don't you don't actually do it properly in the right time at the right person this is something that's really important because as we are in quarantine right now in lockdown this is probably happening a lot to you because your emotion bucket is filling up and you know I able to perhaps say it in the right time because you're not used to it this is not something that is common to you or it's not a habit with you you don't talk to the people you don't reply back right away you just hold it on hold on to it you know you let your emotion bucket fill and then you go back home at night or you go into your room at night and then you process it you journal about it you cry about or whatever it might be and then the next morning it begins all over again sometimes though what happens I said is that we explode upon people that don't deserve it so maybe you had a really bad call with a friend or right now you're probably dealing with many virtual calls where you're talking to all these people or messaging a lot of people and they're putting a lot of negative emotions upon you there's a lot of negative emotions in the atmosphere and you're probably holding on to that as well and so what happens is that you hold on to all this stuff and then you explode upon your mother or you explode upon your sister or you explode upon your partner or your children who especially don't deserve it right the reason I do this video is because I've done this so many times in the past I used to do this all the time to my family of course I'm better at it I think a little bit now but I used to do this a lot to my partner anyone who I dated would I would do this to them all the time and of course it was a terrible thing to do because not only did it break our trust and break our relationship it also made it so that I wasn't I didn't learn how to talk to the person that deserves it rather than talking to random people who don't deserve it right so instead of actually having that conversation right away and saying no this is not right I don't like it and not letting your emotion bucket fill up I didn't know how to do that I I'm learning now but I didn't know how to do that I want to do this video for all those people younger people who are perhaps learning right now or just growing up right now and hopefully you can kind of learn how not to let your emotion bucket fill up like that no don't let it don't let yourself get to a point where you explode it's actually talk to people about it if they do something you don't like just pipe up and speak up about it so that you don't fill up fill yourself up and you don't explode in front of people who don't deserve it a lot of times that's why people tell you know a lot of arguments or discussions or things like that are not about you it's about them they're dealing with something on their own and there's no need for you to take it personally but if it happens over and over again it's hard not to take it personally right and so that's what what happens to a lot of my relationships is that I would keep on exploding upon them and then obviously they took it personally and obviously our relationships fell apart had nothing to do with them it was due to something completely different but I didn't know how to express myself properly and I didn't express myself as I said with the right person and so of course I exploded upon the wrong person the person who didn't deserve it and thus I ruined my relationships in so many different ways terrible I know but now as I said now I'm learning and also I wanted to do this video so hopefully a couple of you guys will you will actually like watch it and maybe maybe learn from it and maybe not do it if only a few more people could kind of learn from this video and actually learn not to do it that would be perfect that's exactly what I want from this if you have any questions about this or if you actually do this yourself and you have stories or examples to share with us or strategies on how not to do it or how to unfill your bucket or how not to fill your bucket I'd love to hear all of that I think it's an important topic for us to talk about because especially it's very easy for us to do this and it's harder for us to have commerce real conversations about things and so hopefully you actually learn from it and you'll message me and tell these stories from your life if you have any questions I said comment below and I shall do a follow-up video again thank you so much for watching for being on my channel I really do appreciate it and I shall see you guys the next time around bye for now