Hey guys,
I hope that you guys are doing amazing wherever you are in the world My name is Boomshakam and I welcome you to my channel as always I'm so grateful that you guys are listening subscribing commenting.
I appreciate the support and If you guys want to put me further,
Obviously you can do that by going to my Ko-fi link The link is in the description below.
It is chilly today in Chiang Mai,
Which is surprising It's actually colder here than some parts of England Except weirdly enough,
Which is really fascinating to me how weather is really changing drastically In today's video I wanted to speak to you guys about Something that really struck me in a conversation I was having with a girlfriend of mine yesterday She is an individual that I met in Chiang Mai her name's Zita and she's an ENFP for those interested And she's one of my really really good friends.
We met in Chiang Mai.
We really connected instantaneously almost and She's right now in Costa Rica She's she her fiance and her are kind of roaming around the world before they get married next year And so she's in Costa Rica.
And so we had a conversation at 13 our difference So I'm sitting there at 8 p.
M.
At night and she's sitting there at 7 a.
M.
In the morning,
Right?
And so we're having this Skype conversation and the conversation naturally comes to our mothers because One of the main pain points in our life is the fact that one our mothers are unhappy with their lives Both of our mothers are extremely unhappy with their lives Unhappy with us with their children Unhappy with the general state of affairs and unhappy with the way their life has disappointed them over and over again It's it's very it's really nice and gratifying for me to speak to her because there's not many people I can speak to about this kind of stuff as Comfortably as I can with her because I know she's going through exactly the same thing and so there's no judgment There's there's just con conversation.
It's just sharing and So we were sharing things about each other and really struck me as sitting there and I'm listening to her talk about our mother Is that I literally it literally could have been me saying those exact same words Where our bodies are separate obviously me and her we're sitting in Opposite at opposite ends of the world you heard in Costa Rica me and Chiang Mai Thailand We are completely different people with completely different backgrounds completely different life experiences She studied in some of the best schools in England I studied all over the world moving from place to place all over the Middle East and then Canada and all that and so of Course we're completely different separate individuals if you look at it from the physical perspective But when you actually go into up into depth and in depth into us and you look at our Experiences our life experiences a lot of our life experiences had extreme interesting parallels and it was so fascinating to me because There are many parallels between her life and mine the way we look at finances the way our parents were that we our fathers looked At money the way our mothers look at life the way our mothers aren't happy the way they're constantly Disappointed with their children with us and with the way we're living our lives So many different parallels and the way that we've gone through our spiritual journey that I literally had this thought pop up into my head I'm saying that we're exactly the same people we're exactly the same people having two different experiences in two separate bodies and It was so poignant and so That that thought was so striking to me in that moment that I literally stopped talking while I was talking to her Speaking to her and I just stopped talking for a second She's like what happened and I'm like I just had this thought and it's not ready yet But I'll share it with you when I do when I when I'm able to kind of really congeal it But I had to write it down right away and says throughout the night and the morning when I woke up that thought really struck me and obviously I started I had to do this video because It's so so so powerfully in me right now that I have to share this thought with you guys and it was so important because I realized that we're all fundamentally the same now,
Of course,
This is not a Profound realization the fact that it's original in any way.
No,
It's not a 100,
000 people have had this realization over the years and over the eons but for me specifically I've read these words many times I've read these words a thousand times in the a hundred different books and they constantly tell us,
You know,
We're one We're the same.
We're all the same We're one being looking at each other having separate experiences learning from each other Gaining the wisdom and sharing it with the collective consciousness all of that all the stuff I've shared with you guys but in that moment in time as I was sitting there having that conversation with Zeta and she was telling me how disappointed her mother is in her and I told her you could be me like you are me and I am you we're just exactly the same person having exactly very similar Experiences,
Of course not exactly the same She's about to get married and I don't think I'll ever get married or if it happens great But in this a moment in time,
There's no possibility of it and you know,
She has a fiance.
She's traveling with her Really nice fiance really a really great guy Nathan And so obviously there's some dissimilarities,
Of course,
We're not exactly the same person but in this in a lot of ways We are experiencing the same exact things And I think that's what we really need to realize as human beings is that we are exactly a lot of us Almost all of us I would say 99% of us unless we're a psychopath or a sociopath and we're kind of doing serial killer Kim things or like doing something really dastardly most of us are having pretty similar experiences We're going through fear moments of fear.
We're going through moments of ecstasy.
We're going through moments of anger and moments of resentment and moments of bitterness and then moments of joy and ecstasy and and gratitude and and Enlightenment,
Right?
So all of us kind of going through the same kind of moment same kind of motions except we're doing it in different permutations and combinations Another example that really struck me while I was sitting last night and thinking about this was Last year,
I was hanging out with a girlfriend of mine again,
Very different experiences of life She lived all her life in India and then she moved to Canada and then I obviously did never lived in India But she's also Indian as well and Indian Canadian Canadian Indian and she was in the same MBA program as me And so she was telling me how her mother's extremely disappointed with her new sister-in-law,
Right?
So they were talking about how there's all these conflicts and and all of this stuff rearing up its head because of the fact that her mother is kind of upset that this new girl has taken over her role as the Confidant of her brother.
I Think that's one of the things that most mothers are afraid of,
You know someone coming in taking their little sons away from them and It was funny to me because in that moment as well a year ago Whatever I was sitting there and listening to Param talk about this and I'm thinking to myself Oh my god your mother and my mother are exactly the same because my mother as well as going through the same kind of Feeling where she feels like she's been overtaken by some other girl and she does not like that And so again,
You're kind of going through So many similar situations but in our head what we do is that we separate ourselves and think oh I'm the only one going through this.
I'm the only one who has a difficult life.
I'm the only one who's the victim here I'm the only one who is dealing with such a difficult situation and we separate ourselves from other people and therefore we feel alone and lost and In that solitude I think is where all the misery crops up Because yesterday me sitting there talking to Zita about the fact that you know,
My mother is disappointed in me Normally if I told that to myself I'd be like,
Oh my god.
I can't believe I'm such a terrible daughter I should really be doing something different in my life.
I can't believe I've caused so much pain to my mother But then sitting there and talking to Zita about it.
I'm like,
Oh,
Okay cool So every mother is like this Oh a lot of mothers are like that and it's okay Because Zita is an awesome person.
She's doing amazing things with her life and her mother is still disappointed in her So what?
What can you do some mothers maybe are just meant to be disappointed no matter what you do I'm sure I would if I did live the exact perfect life that my mom wanted me to live She would still have things to say about it,
Right?
So in that moment in time just sharing that with her that moment that that gratitude or that feeling You know,
I just made me feel less alone.
Obviously less solitude less lonely But also it made me accept the situation better I know now next time and my mother expresses her disappointment disappointment in me.
I can sit there think yeah,
You know what?
It's okay because that's how mothers are sometimes and then and I know other people who are dealing with this I'm not alone in this.
I'm not the only person.
I'm not a terrible daughter.
That's definitely not the case.
Yes I've done some terrible things.
Yes,
I've done some good things but in that moment in time I can maybe accept it a little bit easier and not feel as bad about it as perhaps I would have if I hadn't had that Context,
You know the context that I'm not alone there are other people dealing with exactly the same situation where they go to visit their mothers after a year and The first thing that mother says is oh your hair looks terrible.
It just happened to me many times and I think to myself mom I haven't seen you in a year.
Is that the only thing you have to say to me?
So or your skin looks terrible or what is that spot on yours or your chin or whatever might be right?
It just makes me laugh now obviously But in the past I'd be like why is the first thing that comes out of your mouth the criticism now?
I realize I think that that's how they show love to us as well is that by criticizing us they make us better and they That's how partly their love language is criticism.
Perhaps maybe that's how I tried to console myself with That's what I console myself with when I hear these words of statements coming out of her mouth but again I think that's one of the reasons why I share all my stories with you guys is because a lot of you guys messaged Me saying oh,
I have exactly the same thing happen to me and in that moment in time Hopefully you're able to feel less alone and less solitary and realize that we're all kind of going through the same kind of motions Perhaps in different parts of the world perhaps in different permutations combinations in different ways perhaps But mostly exactly the same thing really and your mother's my business point in you and you're in Kansas City and you know my My sister who's in Toronto is going through exactly the same thing as me when I'm right trying to write a story and I can't Get the right words so that I mean we're kind of all doing the same thing Maybe in different geographical locations But we're kind of going through similar situations and that should make us feel a little bit better about life in general I think it does for me at least.
I hope this makes sense to you guys I really wanted to share this with you because That this moment of realization that we're all the same is so strong in me right now I'm literally standing here not able to I haven't been able to articulate my thoughts properly in this video at all Everything that's inside of me has not been portrayed in this video,
But it's difficult So hopefully I was able to kind of get the essence of it out to you guys and you were able to Get the gist of it if you guys have any questions about this,
Obviously message me anytime I'm here to answer your questions a comment below or email me And if you want support me further you can do that by going to my Ko-fi link The link is in the description below and I shall see you guys the next time around.
Bye for now!
