There Are Hidden Gifts In Every Intense Emotion We Feel (Or Don't Feel)

Whenever anger or some other intense emotion comes up, I want to run away from it. I have been told all of my life that emotions are bad, they are evil somehow, that I should be cool as a cucumber, never feeling, calm all the time.

Photo by Jo. on Unsplash

Transcript

Hello everyone! I hope that you're doing amazing wherever you are in the world. My name is Bhumushika and I welcome you to my channel. As you can see I'm back indoors again because it is cold outside. I mean actually cold although it shouldn't be fall yet or it's not autumn yet but I'm guessing it's just a cold spell and I'm back during Total Nexus as you can see. Oh boy. I do appreciate the seasons in Toronto though because they're so distinct. You can literally see or sense like a change from one season to another and for me I found that it connects me to the earth and to Mother Nature a lot more because when you're in Thailand or in a hot country in a tropical country really it's just hot hot hot a little bit cold and then hot again right and so really there's I don't find that much of delineation except rainy season versus hot season maybe it gets a little cool but not really that much and so I really do like that you know you can literally tell as soon September hits oh right it's fall is starting to come into into our lives and then you know as soon as fall turns into winter you can really tell because it gets really cold and the same thing from winter to spring it's brilliant. That's not the subject of this video though so you know if you're already thinking oh my god is she gonna talk about seasons the whole time no I'm not I promise you. In this video I really wanted to speak to you about anger and how I think I believe that anger is actually really a pretty awesome gift that our body and our psyche our emotions gives to us in order to figure out you know what in our life is really that really needs to be changed. Intense emotions in general I think are actually a great gift from our body's intelligence from our psyche from our internal processes from our subconscious because they carry a message with them they carry some sort of interesting tidbit with them where they're like you know I'm gonna keep on poking at you with this intense emotion until you either obviously numb yourself so you know you start eating a lot of chips or sugar or you start watching a lot of TV to pretend like the emotion doesn't exist or you actually face the emotion and you say okay what's going on here like why are you coming up over and over again why are you bugging me like tell me what you actually want me to do so I can do it and get rid of you and I have been noticing a lot of you have been noticing me probably feeling anger or ranting in these videos or you know displaying anger in a way that probably you've never seen me do before and probably because I was never comfortable displaying my anger in the past I might have displayed it to myself or to my family members my Mija family members but never to strangers especially not on YouTube like that but now I'm getting very comfortable with the idea of anger and actually I really love the idea of anger I'm loving being angry I'm feeling angry and feeling the intensity of the emotion and really feeling it coming up in my body and like the way it feels in my heart and in my in my bowels and you know in my head I'm actually just loving it am I really just going deep into it so for me obviously this particular bit of my life this particular point in my life is about being bold being brave and taking risks and doing some things that I would have never done before that I would have been too afraid to do before for example talking about my period on YouTube to like hundreds of people maybe even thousands eventually right very shameful in fact for me in the beginning I was like oh my god a hum what am I doing but then as I got used to I was like wow this is amazing I'm so happy I'm doing this the same thing with my belief systems about you know what's going on in the world right now and how I want to really be involved in it by bringing it up even if it means that I get a lot of opposition and a lot of opposing views being presented to me which is totally fine you know that's how life is but some people are actually coming up to me and saying you know this is really terrible I come to your videos because you're positive and I like your energy and I want to come to your videos to be upbeat and to be able to get rid of my negative state and be and suck in your positivity from your videos so then when you are angry in those videos it actually kind of really makes me more upset and I don't like it and so I wanted to really do this particular way to explain first of all that I believe anger is actually a gift so if you're feeling angry or any kind of intense emotion if you're feeling anything like that really our first prerogative our first priority should not be oh I need to run away from this which is what I've been doing my entire life because we just not taught as children as adults as people we're not taught in society how to deal with emotions it's as if it's one of the most important things in the world and comes up for everyone every single day probably but it's just it's not something that we're taught in in our childhood like no one ever talks about it no one ever sets you down and says okay so there's something called emotions and you're going to feel it and this is how to deal with it in your body in your mind everything no no one says anything if you feel anger as a child you're just told to not feel it or you're told to you know stop being such a such a bad girl or bad boy and relax and calm down you know things like that things that you don't know how to do so you're just like all right I guess I'm just gonna numb myself and not feel emotions because they're bad right and so it really I despise the fact that sometimes we live in a society where we're not taught the most important things and we're taught all this useless nonsense that I'm just like why why are you teaching me this when you should actually be teaching me about how to you know take care of my finances or how to live a creative life or how to live an authentic life or you know how to live with my emotions or how to communicate properly all of these different things that I should have been taught as in my childhood I wasn't I was not right so again that's just another rant but I do appreciate the fact that now as an adult I can get away from my past conditioning and realize okay emotions are not bad they're actually good they are a sign or a symbol or a message from my system my internal system telling me that something is off in my life something is just not right and the emotion is telling me that I need to look at it clearly pay attention to what's going on and then try to fix it maybe or change things or perhaps accept it right I mean those are the only three things you can really do right and so if you're feeling angry and I realized through my anger about this whole situation with the Black Lives Matter and the trans movement and all the stuff that's going on the world with environment and the pandemic I realized that I was feeling a lot of anger with it but what I what my first instinct was to suppress it and then I was like you know let's try something different it's a different life the different you let's try to actually feel it and I realized that actually my anger was obviously of course against all the stuff that's going on but it was more so an anger that I was ineffective and powerless that was where the anger was really coming from that I was actually not able to do anything to help out my brothers and sisters who were fighting against their own sufferings or fighting against the system I felt ineffectual I felt powerless I felt like a like an ant being crushed under the weight of an elephant's foot and I was like I can't do anything I want to do something but I feel so powerless and that's where the anger was coming from of course part of it was because oh my god what's going on in the world but a lot of it was what am I doing why am I just sitting around I'm not doing anything I want to do something right and that's one of the reasons why I started the rage against the patriarchy publication because I was like I really want to share my viewpoints and thoughts and really really and you really use my power which is communication words and things like that in order to bring light to some of these issues that I'm like this is this is sickening this is disgusting it shouldn't be happening in the world right so that's when all of a sudden I was able to realize ah the anger was carrying a message for me and I did what I was supposed to do which is you know started to started the publication and instantaneously almost very quickly afterwards my anger started dissipating because every single time I'd feel angry I just write a post about whatever I was feeling angry about and ah yes good yes I am angry about the situation but I'm not angry about the fact that I'm not doing anything about the situation because that's what a lot of my anger was coming from right now of course this example I'm sharing with you not because it's gonna be this case for everyone but the idea is to go into your in the intense emotions to understand what they're trying to tell you whatever the intense emotion might be it might be a deep sort of sadness which a lot of INFJs that are on this channel feel like a deep melancholic sadness why are you feeling sad you know there's a lot of things to be to feel sad about in this world right now unfortunately but you know what is it exactly that's making you feel sad is it because you're not doing anything but the things are happening in the world or is it because you are you feel powerless or is it because you think that you're actually one of the people who is involved in creating these problems you know what is it what's causing you to feel that intense sadness or you know there might be intense happiness and I mean obviously it's a great thing when you feel that intense bliss but where is it coming from what is the message that you're doing something right right now and your life is going on the right path and so take that message and keep on going right and so in general as I said in emotions in general have messages for us but intense emotions necessarily have a bigger message for us something that you really be paying attention to but in general as I said we kind of run away from intense emotions really well I don't want to feel this it's too much I'm just gonna run away and at points perhaps it is too much and I can totally empathize with that but little by little maybe build your system up so you can actually sit in a corner by yourself in your room and feel this intense emotion so you can do something with it you can alchemize it and use it in order to create some change in your life right because that's what your emotion wants you to do it's not just there for a random purposeless meaningless thing it's actually there for a very good reason right it's trying to tell you something but a lot of us aren't listening and so that's why it keeps on coming up over and over again you know why do we keep on feeling angry over and over again it's because the message that the anger is caring has been ignored and so of course gonna be like well if you're gonna keep on ignoring me I'm gonna keep on coming back to you and so it keeps on coming back to us over and over again eventually hopefully we do listen and then it dissipates right and something else comes up perhaps so this is what I wanted to share with you I hope this makes sense it's pretty straightforward hard to do easy to say obviously but little by little hopefully you can start building up your resistance or your your you know strength to deal with these intense emotions if you have questions about this comment below and I shall do a follow-up video again thank you so much for being on my channel and I shall see you the next time around bye for now