Hello dear friends,
My name is Aria.
And this is a gentle.
Soothing Meditation.
For those times when the fatigue feels like it's just crushing you.
I want you to know that I do understand how you're feeling.
I know what it's like to feel so tired,
So weak,
That taking a drink is difficult.
Because the glass of water feels too heavy to lift.
I know what it's like to feel so tired that your skin feels like it's crawling or burning or melting off your body.
How you can't get comfortable.
But it feels impossible to move.
I know what it's like to feel so tired.
But eating.
Or going to the bathroom or even just breathing.
Makes you shake with a fatigue so bone deep you wonder how you'll survive.
But you will survive,
My friend.
You are doing it right now.
And you're not alone.
I've been there too.
And for all we know,
I'm there again as you're listening to this.
Or maybe I'm just having a wobbly day.
But no matter what.
I'm right here with you now.
And so are so many others.
We are here together.
We have not disappeared from the world.
We have not been swallowed by the darkness.
We are alive.
We are alive and we are whole people.
You,
My friend,
Are still a whole person.
You have joy and beauty inside you.
You are imagination.
Courage,
Flaws,
And fears.
You are generous.
And messy.
You are strong.
And tender.
You are vulnerability.
And you are power.
You are a whole human being living with an illness.
And even though the fatigue feels like it's eating you alive.
It's not.
Even though it feels like the fatigue is taking over every part of you.
And replacing all that was bright.
And beautiful.
It is not.
It just feels this way.
It is a wave.
Building.
Cresting or crashing down.
It will reabsorb into the ocean of beingness eventually.
It will let you go.
Wash you up on the beach of relief and peace.
Perhaps the tide will come in again sooner than we would like,
But there will be.
Relief and peace.
It is there,
And the wave of fatigue is moving you towards it.
It is not your enemy.
It is not trying to kill you.
Or take anything from you.
It is trying to protect you.
It is trying.
To give your body what it needs.
But right now.
You don't need to do anything about that.
Just let it be.
Let the fatigue be itself.
And know that you are safe.
And whole.
And not alone.
If you can manage it.
Place a hand on your heart.
And whisper these words to yourself.
And if that's too much.
Just listen to my voice.
I am alive.
I am a whole person.
I am here and I matter.
My body is doing everything it can to protect me.
And I appreciate that.
That last one may not feel real.
But try saying it anyway.
I am alive.
I am a whole person.
I am here and I matter.
My body is doing everything it can to protect me.
And I appreciate that.
My friend,
You will get through this.
You are already getting through this.
You are not failing.
This fatigue.
Is not failure.
Your body has not betrayed you.
This fatigue is not betrayal.
Your only job.
Is to get through the day with as much care and kindness for yourself as possible.
And you're already doing that.
Your body's only job.
Is to get through today.
With as much tenderness and truth as possible.
And it is already doing that.
Fatigue often comes with a feeling of dread and doom and deep darkness.
If you're like me.
Fatigue often comes with an image of a bottomless pit.
And I am standing or clinging to the edge of it,
Trying not to slip.
But there is no bottomless pit.
The dread and doom and darkness are simply part of the fatigue.
When our bodies feel something this intense.
The mind and heart.
Seek to make sense of it.
It's what our mind and heart have evolved to do.
They're doing their job too.
They are trying to interpret the fatigue.
And tell you about it.
Trying to give it a shape.
And then name.
So however the darkness appears to you today.
Just let it be there.
Don't fight it.
Don't follow it.
Allow it to be there.
Allow the fatigue.
To have its shape.
And its name.
And know that you are safe.
And whole.
And not alone.
You can acknowledge the fatigue.
However it's appearing,
However it's feeling.
Whether that comes along with thoughts or emotions and all sorts of physical sensations.
You can say,
Yes,
This is my body feeling this fatigue,
Experiencing this fatigue.
So deeply.
And I don't need to do anything about it.
My only job is to get through today with as much care and kindness for myself as I can manage.
And I'm doing that right now.
The fatigue is here with me.
And it has this shape.
And my mind has given it this name.
And it feels this way.
And I am safe.
I am whole.
And I am not alone.
I have not disappeared.
I have not been swallowed by the darkness.
I am alive.
And I am here and I matter.
My life even in this moment.
Has value.
This is just the fatigue moving through me.
This is just part of the wave.
Carrying me towards peace and relief.
This is the power and beauty and mess of being a human living with an illness.
And none of it is my enemy.
This is the power.
And beauty.
And mess of being a human living with an illness.
And no matter what it appears to be saying to me,
None of it speaks the whole truth of who I am.
I am alive.
Real.
Whole.
And I am not alone.
I matter.
And my presence in this life has meaning.
And purpose.
Even now.
Even in moments like this.
My only job.
Is to get through today.
With as much care and kindness for myself as I can manage.
And I'm already doing that.
If all you can do,
My friend.
Is listen to my voice as I speak these words into your soul.
Then that is enough.
I am alive.
I am whole and real and I matter.
I am not alone.
So many others are with me and we are all valid and real.
Our lives have meaning and purpose and beauty.
Even through this kind of darkness.
Even when the fatigue is so deep and dark.
That all we can do is be kind to ourselves.
I am surviving this fatigue right now.
I will survive it.
I have done it before.
And I will probably do it again.
Others are doing it right now.
And knowing that.
Gives us strength.
I know too.
That those who have done it and are feeling okay today.
Are thinking of me.
And wishing me well.
And I will do so for them.
When I am feeling stronger.
Because this wave of fatigue,
Whether it is building or cresting or crashing down,
Is moving me.
Toward the beach of relief and peace.
It is there.
And this wave of fatigue will wash me up on it sooner or later.
Because I am alive.
And I am a whole person.
I am beauty and joy.
Imagination,
Hope and courage.
I am flaws and fears and mess and generosity.
I am strong and tender.
I am a whole being living with an illness.
I am vulnerability.
And I am power.
And I know that this fatigue is not eating me alive.
It is not.
Killing me.
It is an experience my body is having.
This fatigue is trying to give my body what it needs.
And I don't need to do anything about it.
My only job today.
Is to treat myself with as much care and kindness as I can manage.
And I'm already doing it.
Just like I'm already surviving this.
This fatigue is not the whole truth of who you are,
My friend.
It is an experience you're having right now.
It is a deep.
And painful experience.
But you will get through it.
Because you are getting through it.
And so my friend.
I hope that you continue to be kind to yourself today.
And that this wave washes you up on the beach of relief and peace very soon.
I hope that you know this meditation is here for you anytime you need it and every time you need it.
And that you can feel even just a little blessed.
By knowing.
That right now.
Someone,
Somewhere.
Is offering you their strength.
And their courage.
And their faith.
They are seeing you.
Whole.
And beautiful.
Even in your illness.
Even.
Draped in darkness and fatigue.
We can see you.
And to us,
You are beautiful.
Again,
My name is Aria.
And I wish you.
A blessed and beautiful day my friends.
