Hi,
I'm Caroline.
In my last talk about how time blindness really works.
I explained why time can feel so strange when you have ADHD.
Three hours can disappear like that,
Like 20 minutes.
But on the other hand,
Five minutes can sometimes also feel like an hour.
Something happening next Thursday can feel almost non-existent until it's suddenly Thursday morning.
But understanding time blindness is really only half of the conversation.
Because once you understand that your brain may not reliably feel the passage of time,
The next question becomes,
How do you actually work with that?
And I think this is where we can stop trying to become better at just sensing time.
And start making time more visible.
Because if your internal sense of time isn't going to give you enough information.
You can put some of that information outside of your brain.
Number one,
Stop asking how long something should take.
One of the things that makes time blindness difficult is that we're often not estimating one task.
We're estimating a whole chain of invisible events.
You might think.
I need to leave a 10.
But,
Leaving at 10 actually means.
.
.
Finding your shoes,
Finding your keys,
Filling up your water bottle,
Going to the bathroom.
And remember the thing I was supposed to bring.
Get my bag,
Walk outside.
Get into the car.
Put into the navigation where you're going.
And if you're a parent,
There may be an entirely separate list attached to another little human being.
And suddenly,
It's 15 minutes past 10.
And then comes that familiar feeling.
How did this happen again?
Now the problem may not have been that you didn't care about being on time.
Your brain represented leaving as one event.
When it was actually 8 or 10 separate actions.
So instead of asking,
What time do I need to leave?
Try asking,
What needs to happen before I'm physically moving?
And then work backwards.
This makes the invisible part of the transition visible.
Number two.
Give time edges.
So instead of saying,
I'll work on my emails.
Try this.
For the next 12 minutes,
I'm answering emails.
Or instead of,
I need to clean the kitchen.
Try.
My favorite song,
And I'm going to see what I can reset or clean or do before the song ends.
Now the activity has a beginning and an ending.
Time has edges.
You can also use timers.
Songs.
Playlists?
Visual timers.
Or a clock.
Sitting directly in front of you.
Now,
The point here isn't to pressure yourself.
The point is to turn something abstract into something you can actually perceive.
Number three,
Use transition alarms,
Not only deadline alarms.
This one can make an enormous difference.
Most of us set an alarm for the moment something needs to happen.
Meeting at three?
Alarm at three.
But if transitions are difficult for you,
Three o'clock is already too late.
Try creating an earlier queue.
Maybe.
2.
30.
Something is happening soon.
Do 45.
Start wrapping up.
$2.
55 Get your water,
Open the link,
Sit down.
3 o'clock.
Mating.
Notice that that first alarm doesn't actually require you to do anything.
It is simply telling your brain,
The future is getting closer.
And now that can be incredibly useful when your brain naturally lives very strongly in the now.
Number four.
Put clocks where time disappears.
Now,
Start noticing the places where you routinely lose time.
The shower.
Getting dressed.
Getting ready,
Doing your makeup.
Working at your desk,
Cleaning,
Cooking,
Scrolling.
Hyper-focusing on something you love.
These are the places where external cues become particularly useful.
Put a clock where you can see it.
Use a visual timer.
Ask a smart speaker to announce the time.
Set a gentle cue every 20 or 30 minutes.
The thing is,
You aren't failing because you need these things.
You're externalizing information that your brain isn't consistently giving you internally.
Number five.
Give transitions their own time.
Sometimes we're not late because the previous activity took too long.
Were lit because we didn't account for the cognitive transition between activities.
Imagine you're deeply focused on something.
And then someone says,
We need to leave.
You hear them?
You understand them.
But part of your brain is still inside whatever you were doing.
You haven't disengaged yet.
That's a transition.
So instead of scheduling work until 3pm,
Leave at 3pm.
Try this.
Work until 245.
Transition from 245 to 3.
So that you can leave at 3 p.
M.
Those 15 minutes aren't wasted.
Because transitioning is part of the task.
And I think that's something many of us have never been taught to account for.
Number six,
Use mindfulness differently.
And this brings me to something I think is especially important.
Mindfulness for ADHD doesn't have to mean sitting completely still for 20 minutes,
Trying not to think.
Mindfulness can be incredibly practical.
Sometimes mindfulness is simply noticing.
Where am I?
What time is it?
What am I doing?
What happens next?
That's it.
If you've disappeared into hyper focus,
Or scrolling.
Or overwhelmed.
Or 20 different thoughts.
Pause.
Breathe.
And feel your feet against the floor.
Look around the room.
Look at the actual time.
And ask.
What happens next?
Not,
What do I need to accomplish today?
Not how am I going to get everything done.
Jess?
What happens next?
This.
Is mindfulness too.
It's returning your attention to what is actually happening in the present moment.
And that is why I believe.
Mindfulness can be incredibly useful.
For an ADHD brain when we stop demanding it look a particular way.
You don't need to become brilliant at internal time tracking.
You can build a world around you.
That makes time easier to see.
Externalize it.
Give it edges.
Allow time for transitions.
And when you notice you've disappeared into now again,
Don't judge yourself.
Notice.
Or rant.
And return.
Again.
And again.
Return to this moment.
