Hello.
Welcome to Sleep Stories with Steph,
A romantic bedtime podcast guaranteed to help you drift off into a calm,
Relaxing sleep.
Come with me as we travel back to a time long ago where Helen Huntingdon is sacrificing everything she knows in order to protect her son.
But before we begin let us take a moment to focus on where we are now.
Take a deep breath in through your nose then let it out on a long sigh.
It is time to relax and really let go.
Feel your shoulders melt away from your ears as you sink into the support beneath you.
Feel the pressure seep away from your cheeks as your breath drops into a natural rhythm.
There is nothing you need to be doing right now and nowhere you need to go.
We are together and it is time for sleep.
The Tenant of Wildfelm Hall by Red and Abridged by Stephanie Poppins Chapter 32 Information Rejected October the 5th Esther Hograve,
Millicent and Walter's younger sister,
Is getting to be a fine girl.
She is not out of the schoolroom yet but her mother frequently brings her over to call in the mornings when the gentlemen are out and sometimes she spends an hour or two in company with her sister and me and the children and when we go to the grove I always contrive to see her and talk more to her than anyone else for I'm very much attached to my little friend and so is she to me.
I wonder what she can see to liken me though for I'm no longer the happy lively girl I used to be but she has no other society save that of her uncongenial mother and her governess and now and then Millicent her subdued quiet sister.
I often wonder what will be her lot in life and so does she but her speculations on the future are full of buoyant hope so were mine once.
I shudder to think of her being awakened like me to a sense of their delusive vanity.
It seems as if I should feel her disappointment even more deeply than my own.
I feel almost as if I were born for such a fate but Esther is so joyous and fresh so light of heart and free of spirit it would be cruel to make her feel as I feel now and know what I have known.
Millicent trembles for her too.
Yesterday morning one of October's brightest loveliest days she and I were in the garden enjoying a brief half hour together with our children while Annabella was lying on the drawing room sofa deep in the last new novel.
We had been romping with the little creatures almost as merry and wild as themselves and now paused in the shade of the tall copper beach to recover breath and rectify our hair disordered by the rough play in the frolics and breeze.
From laughing at the pretty sight of my little Arthur supporting the feeble steps of her little Helen we began to talk of the children's future life and that made us thoughtful.
We both relapsed into silent musing as we slowly proceeded up the walk and I suppose Millicent by a train of associations was led to think of her sister.
Helen,
Said she,
You often see Esther don't you?
Not very often but you have more frequent opportunities of meeting her than I have and she loves you I know and reverences you too.
There's nobody's opinion she thinks so much of and she says you've more sense than Mama.
That is because she's self-willed and my opinions more generally coincide with her own than your Mama's.
But what then Millicent?
Well since you have so much influence with her I wish you would seriously impress upon it to her never on any account or for anyone's persuasion to marry for the sake of money or rank or establishment or any other earthly thing but true affection and well-grounded esteem.
There is no necessity for that said I for we have had some discourse on that subject already and I assure you her ideas of love and matrimony are as romantic as anyone could desire but romantic notions will not do.
I want her to have true notions very white but in my judgment what the world stigmatizes as romantic is often more nearly allied to the truth and is commonly supposed for if the generous ideas of youth are too often overclouded by the sordid views of afterlife that scarcely proves them to be false.
Well but if you think her ideas are what they ought to be strengthen them will you said Millicent and confirm them as far as you can for I had romantic notions once and I don't mean to say I regret my lot for I'm quite sure I don't but I understand you said I.
You are contented for yourself but you would not have your sister to suffer the same as you.
No or worse she might have far worse to suffer than I for I'm really contented Helen although you may think it.
I speak the solemn truth in saying I would not exchange my husband for any man on earth if I might do it by the plucking of this leaf.
Well I believe you now that you have him you would not exchange him for another but then you would gladly exchange some of his qualities for those of better men.
Yes just as I would gladly exchange some of my own qualities for some of those better women for neither he nor I are perfect and I desire his improvement as earnestly as I desire my own and he will improve don't you think Helen?
He's only six and twenty yet.
He may I answered.
He will he will repeated she.
Excuse the fateness of my acquiescence Millicent I would not discourage your hopes for the world but mine have been so often disappointed that I have become as cold and doubtful in my expectations as the flattest of octogenarians and yet do you hope still even for Mr Huntington?
I do I confess and he is so much worse Millicent than Mr Hattersley.
Well to give you my candid opinion Helen I think there's no comparison between them but you mustn't be offended for you know I always speak my mind and you may speak yours too I shan't care.
I'm not offended love and my opinion is that if there be a comparison made between the two the difference for the most part is certainly in Hattersley's favor.
Millicent's own heart told her how much it would cost me to make this acknowledgement and with a childlike impulse she expressed her sympathy by suddenly kissing my cheek without a word of reply then turning quickly away she caught up her baby and hid her face in its frock.
How odd it is we so often weep for each other's distresses when we shed not a tear for our own.
Her heart had been full enough of her own sorrows but it overflowed at the idea of mine and I too shed tears at the sight of her sympathetic emotion though I had not wept for myself for many a week.
But Millicent's satisfaction in her choice is not entirely feigned.
She really loves her husband and it is too true he loses nothing by comparison with mine.
Either he is less unbridled in his excesses or owing to his stronger hardier frame they produce a much less deleterious effect upon him for he never reduces himself to a state in any degree bordering on imbecility.
There is nothing of that lost depressing appearance that peevish ennobled fretfulness that wears one out with very shame for the transgressor but then it was not formerly so with Arthur.
He can bear less now than he could at Hattersley's age and if the latter does not reform his powers of endurance may being equally impaired when he's tried them as long.
He has five years the advantage of Arthur and his vices have not mastered him yet.
He has not folded them to him and made them a part of himself.
They seem to sit loose upon him like a cloak he could throw aside at any moment if he would but how long would that option be left him?
But for Hattersley graceless ruffian as he is I believe there is a more reasonable ground of hope and far be it for me to blame poor Millicent for his delinquencies but I do think if she had the courage or the will to speak her mind about them and maintain her point unflinchingly there would be more chance of his reclamation and he would likely treat her better and love her more in the end.
I'm partly led to think so by what he said to me himself not many days ago.
I purpose to give her a little advice on the subject sometime but still I hesitate from the consciousness that her ideas and disposition are both against it and if my counsels fail to do any good they would do harm by making her more unhappy.
It was one rainy day last week most of the company were killing time in the billiard room but Millicent and I were with little Arthur and Helen in the library and between our books our children and each other expected to make out a very agreeable morning.
We had not been thus secluded over two hours however when Mr Hattersley came in attracted I suppose by the voice of his child as he was crossing the hall for he is prodigiously fond of her and she of him.
He was redolent of the stables where he'd been regaling himself with the company of his fellow creatures ever since breakfast but that was no matter to my little namesake as soon as the colossal person of her father darkened the door she uttered a shrill scream of delight and quitting her mother's side ran crowing towards him.
He might well look smilingly upon those small fair features radiant with innocent mirth.
Did he not think how unworthy he was of such a possession?
I fear no idea crossed his mind.
He caught her up and there followed some minutes of very rough play during which it's difficult to say whether father or the daughter laughed and shouted the loudest.
At length however the boisterous pastime terminated.
Suddenly as might be expected the little one was hurt and began to cry and its ungentle play fellow tossed it into its mother's lap bidding her make it all straight.
As happy to return to that gentle comforter as it had been to leave her the little girl nestled in her arms and hushed its cries in a moment and sinking its weary head on her bosom soon dropped to sleep.
Meanwhile Mr Hattersley strode up to the fire and interposing his height and breadth between us and it stood with arms akimbo expanding his chest and gazing round him as if the house and all its contents were his own undisputed possessions.
Deuce bad wither this he began there'll be no shooting today I guess.
Then suddenly lifting up his voice he regaled us with a few bars of a rollicking song which abruptly ceasing he finished the tune with a whistle and continued I say mrs Huntingdon what a fine stud your husband has.
I hope so indeed Mr Hattersley said I.
And where is lady Lobra?
In the billiard room.
What a splendid creature she is continued he fixing his eyes on his wife who changed colour and looked more and more disconcerted as he proceeded.
What a noble figure she has and what magnificent black eyes what a fine spirit of her own and what a tongue of her own too when she likes to use it.
I perfectly adore her but never mind Millicent I wouldn't have her for my wife not if she'd a kingdom for her dowry.
I'm better satisfied with the one I have.
Now then what do you look so sulky for don't you believe me?
Yes I believe you murmured she in a tone of half sad half sullen resignation.
Well then what makes you so cross come here Millie and tell me why you can't be satisfied with my assurance.
Millicent went and putting her little hand within his arm she looked up into Hattersley's face and she said what does it amount to Ralph?
Only to this that though you admire Annabella so much and for the qualities I don't possess you would still rather have me than her for your wife which merely proves you don't think it necessary to love your wife.
You're satisfied if she can keep your house and take care of your child.
Very true but who told you I didn't love you did I say I loved Annabella?
You said you adored her.
True but adoration isn't love I adore Annabella but I don't love her and I love thee Millicent but I don't adore thee.
In proof of his affection he clutched a handful of her light brown ringlets and appeared to twist them unmercifully.
Do you really Ralph murmured she with a faint smile beaming through her tears.
When a boy has been cramming raisins and sugar plums all day he longs for a squeeze of sour orange by way of change Millicent and did you never merely observe the sands on the seashore how nice and smooth they look and how soft and easy they feel to the foot but if you plod along for half an hour over the soft easy carpet you'll find it rather wearisome work and be glad enough to come to a bit of good firm rock that won't budge an inch when you stand walk or stamp upon it.
I know what you mean Ralph said Millicent nervously playing with her watch guard and tracing the figure on the rug with the point of her tiny foot but I thought you always like to be yielded to and I can't alter now.
I do like it replied he bringing her to him with a tug of the hair a man must have something to grumble about and if he can't complain that his wife harries him to death with her perversity and ill humor he must complain she wears him out with her kindness and gentleness but why complain at all unless because you're tired and dissatisfied to excuse my own feelings to be sure do you think I'll bear all the burden of my sins on my own shoulders as long as there's another ready to help me with none of her own to carry there is no such one on earth said Millicent seriously and then taking his hand from her head she kissed it with an air of genuine devotion and tripped away to the door what now said he where are you going to tidy my hair she answered smiling through her disordered locks you've made it all come down off with you then an excellent little woman he remarked when she was gone but a thought too soft she almost melts in one's hands I positively think I ill use her sometimes when I've taken too much but I can't help it for she never complains either at the time or after I suppose she doesn't mind it I can enlighten you on that subject Mr.
Hattersley said I she does mind it and some other things she minds still more which yet you may never hear her complain of well it's not my fault said he carelessly gazing up at the ceiling if my ongoings don't suit her she should tell me so is she not exactly the wife he wanted said I did you not tell Mr.
Huntington you must have one that would submit to anything without a murmur and never blame you true but we shouldn't always have what we want it spoils the best of us doesn't it how can I help playing the juice when I see it's all one to her whether I behave like a Christian or like a scoundrel if you're a tyrant by nature the temptation is strong said I but no generous mind delights to oppress the weak but rather to cherish and to protect
