Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
Chapter 21
The Palmers returned to Cleveland the next day and the two families at Barton were again left to entertain each other.
But this did not last long.
Eleanor had hardly got their last visitors out of her head
Before Sir John and Mrs Jennings' active zeal in the cause of society
Procured her some other new acquaintance to see and observe.
In a morning's excursion to Exeter they had met with two young ladies
Whom Mrs Jennings had the satisfaction of discovering to be her relations
And this was enough for Sir John to invite them directly to the park.
Their engagements at Exeter instantly gave way before such an invitation
And Lady Middleton was thrown into no little alarm on the return of Sir John
By hearing that she was very soon to receive a visit from two girls whom she had never seen in her life
And of whose elegance,
Whose tolerable gentility even,
She could have no proof.
As it was impossible,
However,
Now to prevent their coming
Lady Middleton resigned herself to the idea of it.
The young ladies arrived.
Their appearance was by no means ungentile or unfashionable.
Their dress was very smart,
Their manners very civil.
They were delighted with the house and in raptures with the furniture
And they happened to be so dotingly fond of children
That Lady Middleton's good opinion was engaged in their favour
Before they had been an hour at the park.
She declared them to be very agreeable girls indeed
Which for her ladyship was enthusiastic admiration.
Sir John's confidence in his own judgment rose with his animated praise
And he set off directly for the cottage to tell the Miss Dashwoods of the Miss Steele's arrival
And to assure them of their being the sweetest girls in the world.
Sir John wanted the whole family to walk to the park directly and look at his guests.
It was painful to him to keep a third cousin to himself.
Do come now,
Said he.
You can't think how you will like them.
Lucy is monstrous pretty and so good-humoured and agreeable
And they both long to see you of all things for they've heard at Exeter
You're the most beautiful creatures in the world.
How can you be so cross as not to come?
Why,
They're your cousins you know,
After a fashion.
You are my cousins and they are my wife so you must be related.
But Sir John could not prevail.
He could only obtain a promise of their calling it to the park within a day or two
Then left them in amazement at their indifference to walk home
And boast anew of their attractions to the Miss Steele's.
When their promised visit to the park and consequent introduction to these young ladies took place
The Miss Dashwoods found in the appearance of the eldest,
Who was nearly 30
With a very plain and not a sensible face,
Nothing to admire
But in the other who was not more than two or three and twenty
They acknowledged considerable beauty.
Her features were pretty and she had a sharp quick eye and a smartness of air
Which gave distinction to her person.
Their manners were particularly civil
And Eleanor saw with what constant and judicious attentions
They were making themselves agreeable to Lady Middleton.
With her children they were in continual raptures
Extolling their beauty,
Courting their notice and humouring all their whims
And such of their time as could be spared from the inopportune demands
Which this politeness made on it
Were spent in admiration of whatever her ladyship was doing
If she happened to be doing anything.
Lady Middleton saw with maternal complacency all the impertinent encroachments
And mischievous tricks to which her cousin submitted.
She saw their sashes untied,
Their hair pulled about their ears
Their work bags searched and their knives and scissors stolen away
And felt no doubt of it being a reciprocal enjoyment.
John is in such spirits today,
Said she
On his taking Miss Steele's pocket handkerchief and throwing it out of the window
He is full of monkey tricks.
And here is my sweet little Anna Maria
She added tenderly caressing a little girl of three years old
Who had not made a noise for the last two minutes.
She's always so gentle and quiet
Never was there such a quiet little thing.
But unfortunately in bestowing these embraces
A pin in her ladyship's headdress slightly scratching the child's neck
Produced from this pattern of gentleness such violent screams
As could hardly be outdone by any creature professedly noisy.
She was seated in her mother's lap,
Covered with kisses
Her wound bathed with lavender water by one of the Miss Steele's
Who was on her knees to attend to her
And her mouth stuffed with sugar plums by the other.
She still screamed and sobbed lustily till Lady Middleton
Luckily remembering a scene of similar distress last week
Some apricot marmalade had been successfully applied for a bruised temple
So the same remedy was eagerly proposed for this unfortunate scratch
And a slight intermission of screams in the young lady on hearing it
Gave them reason to hope it would not be rejected.
Then she was carried out of the room
In her mother's arms in quest of this medicine.
Poor little creature,
Said Miss Steele as soon as they were gone
It might have been a very sad accident.
Yet I hardly know how,
Cried Marianne
Unless it had been under totally different circumstances
But this is the usual way of heightening alarm
Where there is nothing to be alarmed of in reality.
What a sweet woman Lady Middleton is,
Said Lucy Steele.
Marianne was silent.
It was impossible for her to say what she did not feel
However trivial the occasion
And upon Eleanor,
Therefore,
The whole task of telling lies
When politeness required,
It always fell.
She did her best when thus called on
By speaking of Lady Middleton with more warmth than she felt
Though with far less than Miss Lucy.
And Sir John too,
Cried the elder sister
What a charming man he is
And what a charming little family they have.
I never saw such fine children in my life
And I declare I quite dote upon them already.
I should guess so,
Said Eleanor with a smile
From what I have witnessed this morning.
I have a notion,
Said Lucy
You think the little Middleton is rather too much indulged
For my part I love to see children full of life and spirits
I cannot bear them if they are tame and quiet.
I confess,
Replied Eleanor
That while I am at Barton Park
I never think of tame and quiet children with any abhorrence.
A short pause succeeded this speech
Which was first broken by Miss Steele
Who now said rather abruptly
And how do you like Devonshire,
Miss Dashwood?
I suppose you were very sorry to leave Sussex.
In some surprise at the familiarity of this question
Eleanor replied that she was.
Norland is a prodigious beautiful place,
Is it not?
Added Miss Steele.
I think everyone must admire it
Replied Eleanor,
Whoever saw the place.
And had you a great many spart bow there?
I suppose you've not so many in this part of the world
For my part I think they're a vast addition always.
But why should you think,
Said Lucy
Looking ashamed of her sister
That there are not as many genteel young men
In Devonshire as Sussex?
Nay,
My dear,
I'm sure I don't pretend to say there aren't
I was only afraid the Miss Dashwoods might find it dull at Barton
If they had not so many as they used to have.
But perhaps you young ladies may not care about the bow
For my part I think they're vastly agreeable
Provided they dress smart and behave civil.
I suppose your brother was quite a bow,
Miss Dashwood
Before he married,
As he was so rich.
Upon my word
Replied Eleanor,
I cannot tell you
For I do not perfectly comprehend the meaning of the word
But this I can say
That if he ever was a bow before he married
He is one still
And not the smallest alteration in him.
Oh dear,
One never thinks of married men's being bow
They have something else to do.
Lord Han,
Cried her sister
You can talk of nothing but bow
You will make the Miss Dashwoods believe you think of nothing else.
This specimen of the Miss Steele's was enough
The vulgar freedom and folly
Of the eldest left her no recommendation
And as Eleanor was not blinded by the beauty
Or the shrewd look of the youngest
To her want of real elegance and artlessness
She left the house without any wish of knowing them better.
Not so the Miss Steele's
They came from Exeter
Well provided with admiration for the use of Sir John Middleton
His family and all his relations
And no niggardly proportion
Was now dealt out to his fair cousins
Whom they declared to be the most beautiful
Elegant,
Accomplished and agreeable
Girls they had ever beheld
And with whom they were particularly anxious
To be better acquainted.
Eleanor soon found was their inevitable lot
For as Sir John was entirely on the side of the Miss Steele's
Their party would be too strong for opposition
And that kind of intimacy
Must be submitted to which consists
Of sitting an hour or two together in the same room
Almost every day.
To do Sir John justice
He did everything in his power to promote their own reserve
By making the Miss Steele's acquainted with whatever he knew
Or supposed of his cousins situations
In the most delicate particulars
And Eleanor had not seen them more than twice
Before the eldest of them wished her joy
On her sisters having been so lucky
As to make a conquest of a very smart
Beau since she came to Barton.
It will be a fine thing to have her married so young
To be sure said she
And I hope you may have as good luck yourself soon.
Eleanor could not suppose that Sir John
Would be more nice in proclaiming his suspicions
Of her regard for Edward than he had been
With respect to Marianne.
Indeed it was rather his favourite joke of the two
As being somewhat newer and more conjectural
And since Edwards visit
They had never dined together without his drinking
To her best affections with so much
And so many nods and winks as to excite
General attention.
The letter F had been
Likewise invariably brought forward
And found productive of such
Countless jokes that its character
As the wittiest letter in the alphabet had been long
Established with Eleanor.
The Miss Steele's as she expected
Had now all the benefits of these jokes
And in the eldest of them they raised a curiosity
To know the name of the gentleman alluded to
But Sir John did not sport long with
A curiosity which he delighted to raise
For he had at least as much pleasure
In telling the name as Miss Steele
Had in hearing it.
His name is Ferrars said he
In a very audible whisper
But pray do not tell it
For it is a great secret.
Ferrars reported Miss Steele
What your sister-in-law's brother
Miss Dashwood a very agreeable young man
To be sure I know him very well.
How can you say so Anne
Cried Lucy though we've seen him
Once or twice at my uncle's it's rather too much to pretend
To know him very well.
Eleanor heard all this with attention
And surprise and who was
This uncle where did he live
How came they acquainted
The manner in which Miss Steele
Had spoken of Edward increased her curiosity
For it struck her as being
Rather ill-natured and suggested the suspicion
Of that lady's knowing
Or fancying herself to know
Something to his disadvantage.
