Welcome to Sleep Stories with Steph.
It is time to relax and fully let go.
There is nothing you need to be doing now and nowhere you need to go.
Close your eyes and feel yourself sink into the support beneath you and let all the worries of the day drift away.
This is your time and your space.
Take a deep breath in through your nose and let it out with a long sigh.
There is nothing you need to be doing now and nowhere you need to go.
Happy listening.
Chapter 18 Balancy was acquainted with Barney by now,
Well acquainted it seemed,
Though she had spoken to him only a few times.
But then she had felt just as well acquainted with him the first time they met.
She had been in the garden at twilight,
Hunting for a few stalks of white narcissus for Sissy's room,
When she heard that terrible old grey slosson coming down through the woods.
One could hear that miles away.
Balancy did not look up as it drew near,
Thumping over the rocks in that crazy lane.
She had never looked up,
Though Barney had gone racketing past every evening since she had been living at Roaring Ables.
This time he did not racket past.
The old grey slosson stopped with even more terrible noises than it made going.
Balancy was conscious that Barney had sprung from it and was leaning over the ramshackle gate.
She suddenly straightened up and looked into his face.
Their eyes met.
Balancy was suddenly conscious of a delicious weakness.
Was one of her heart attacks coming on?
But no,
This was a new symptom.
Barney's eyes,
Which he had always thought were brown,
Now seen close,
Were deep violet,
Translucent and intense.
Neither of his eyebrows looked like the other and he was thin,
Too thin.
She wished she could feed him up a bit.
She wished she could sew the buttons on his coat and make him cut his hair and shave.
But there was something in his face.
One hardly knew what it was.
Tiredness,
Sadness,
Disillusionment.
He had dimples in his thin cheeks when he smiled.
All these thoughts flashed through Balancy's mind in that one moment while his eyes looked into hers.
Good evening,
Miss Stirling.
Nothing could be more commonplace and conventional.
Anyone might have said that.
But Barney Snaith had a way of saying things that gave them poignancy.
When he said good evening,
He felt as if it was a good evening.
And that was partly his doing so that it was.
Also,
You felt that some of the credit was yours.
Balancy felt all this vaguely,
But she couldn't imagine why she was trembling from head to foot.
It must be her heart.
If only Barney didn't notice it.
I'm going over to the port,
Barney was saying.
Can I acquire merit by getting or doing anything there for you or Sissy?
Will you get some salt codfish for us,
Said Balancy.
It was the only thing she could think of.
Roaring Abel had expressed a desire that day for a dinner of boiled salt codfish.
When her knights came riding to the Blue Castle,
Balancy had sent them on many a quest,
But she had never asked any of them to get her salt codfish.
Certainly.
You're sure there's nothing else?
There's lots of room in this grey slothen.
I don't think there's anything more I need,
Said Balancy slowly.
She knew Barney would bring oranges for Sissy anyhow.
He always did.
Barney was not deterred.
He stood silent for a moment and then he said slowly and whimsically.
Miss Stirling,
I think you're a brick.
You're a whole cartload of bricks to come here and look after Sissy under the circumstances.
There's nothing so bricky about that,
Said Balancy.
I've nothing else to do and I like it here.
I don't feel as though I've done anything especially meritorious.
Mr.
Gay is paying me fair wages.
I've never earned any money before and I quite like it.
It seemed easy for Balancy to talk to Barney Snaith of the lurid tales and mysterious past,
As easy and natural as if talking to herself.
All that money in the world couldn't buy what you're doing for Sissy Gay,
Said Barney.
It's splendid and fine of you.
And if there's anything I can do to help in any way,
You only have to let me know.
If Roaring Abel ever tries to annoy you,
He doesn't.
He's lovely to me.
I like Roaring Abel,
Said Balancy frankly.
So do I.
But there's one stage of his drunkenness.
Perhaps you haven't encountered it yet,
When he starts singing rude songs.
Yes,
He came home last night like that,
Said Balancy.
Sissy and I went to our room and shut ourselves in where we couldn't hear him.
He apologised this morning.
I'm not afraid of any of Roaring Abel's stages.
I'm sure he'll be decent to you,
Apart from his inebriated yowls,
Said Barney.
And I've told him he's to stop damning things when you're around.
Why?
Asked Balancy,
With one of her odd slanted glances,
And a sudden flake of pink on each cheek.
I often feel like damning things myself.
For a moment,
Barney stared.
Was this elfin girl the little old maidish creature who'd stood there two minutes ago?
Surely there was magic and devilry going on in that shabby,
Weedy old garden.
Then he laughed out loud.
So it'll be a relief to have someone do it for you then.
You don't want anything but salt codfish.
Not tonight.
I dare say I'll have some errands for you very often when you go round to Port Lawrence.
I can't trust Mr Gage to remember to bring all the things back that I want.
Ever since then,
Barney had called several times,
Walking down through the barrens and whistling.
How that whistle of his echoed through the spruces on those June twilights.
Balancy caught herself listening out for them.
Then she rebuked herself,
Then let herself go.
Why shouldn't she listen for his whistles?
Barney always brought Sissy fruit and flowers.
Once he brought Balancy a box of candy,
The first box of candy she had ever been given.
It seemed sacrilegious to eat it.
Balancy found herself thinking of him in season and out of season.
She wanted to know if he ever thought about her when she wasn't before his eyes.
She wanted to see that mysterious house of his.
Though she talked freely of Barney to Sissy,
And she had known him for five years,
Sissy really knew little more of him than Balancy herself.
He isn't bad,
Said Sissy.
No one need ever tell me he is.
He can't have done a thing to be ashamed of.
Then why does he live like he does?
Asked Balancy.
I don't know.
Barney Snaith's a mystery.
There's something behind it,
But I'm sure it's not disgrace,
Said Sissy.
Barney Snaith simply couldn't do anything disgraceful,
Balancy.
But Balancy was not so sure.
Barney must have done something.
He was a man of education and intelligence.
She had soon discovered this,
Listening to his conversations with Roaring Abel.
You don't know what Barney's been to me these past two years,
Sissy said simply.
Everything would have been unbearable without him.
Sissy was very fond of Barney Snaith,
And she of him anyone could see.
But this was a fondness that did not worry Balancy.
All that mattered was that she was sure now they had never been lovers.
Sissy is the sweetest girl I ever knew.
He would say to her.
And there's a man somewhere I'd like to shoot if I could find him.
Barney Snaith was an interesting talker with a knack of telling a great deal about his adventures and nothing at all about himself.
And Balancy liked everything about him.
His tawny hair,
His whimsical smiles,
A little glimpse of fun in his eyes and his loyal affection for his Lady Jane,
His Slosson.
Then she liked his habit of sitting with his hands in his pockets,
His chin sunk on his breast,
Looking up from under his mismatched eyebrows.
Balancy liked his nice voice,
Which sounded as if it might become caressing or wooing with very little provocation.
She was at times almost fearful to let herself think these thoughts.
They were so vivid,
She felt as if everyone else must know just what she was thinking.
I've been watching a woodpecker all day,
He said one evening on the shaky old back veranda.
His account of the woodpecker's doings was satisfying.
He had often some gay or cunning little anecdote of the woodfolk to tell.
Sometimes he and roaring Abel smoked fiercely the whole evening and never said a word,
While Sissy lay in the hammock between them and Balancy lay idly on the steps.
It was one of the delights of Balancy's new life that she could read books as often and long as she liked.
She could read them in bed if she wanted to and she read them all to Sissy,
Who loved them.
She also tried to read them to Abel and Barney Snaith,
Who did not love them.
Abel would get bored and Barney politely refused to listen at all.
Balancy looked out at the barrens that lay before her in a white moon splendour,
Where dozens of little rabbits frisked.
Barney,
When he liked,
Could sit on the edge of the barrens and lure those rabbits right to him by some mysterious sorcery,
He told her.
Balancy had once seen a squirrel leap from a scrub pine to his shoulder and sit there chattering.
All of these things reminded her of John Foster and his wonderful books.
