Softening The Inner Critic

This practice is to help soften the inner critic; that voice in your head that's rarely satisfied—the one that is quick to comment right after a mistake, or before you've even made one. Through a body scan, mindful breathing, and grounded touch, you will offer regulation to your nervous system and make space so you can reframe the critical voice and choose a more beneficial response.

Transcript

Hello, My name is Sean, And this is a practice for softening the inner critic. This practice is for the voice in your head that's rarely satisfied, The one that jumps in right after a mistake or before you've even made one. We're not going to argue with that voice or try to talk it out of existence. Those approaches don't work and often make things worse. Instead, We're going to get curious about where it lives in your body and practice meeting it with something helpful than shame. A quick note on the science. Self-criticism activates the same threat response in your nervous system as an external threat would. Your body doesn't fully distinguish between someone else attacking you and you attacking yourself, Which means the way out is not more willpower. It's likely regulation. So let's begin. To start, Find a position that lets your body feel supported, That can be seated or lying down, Whatever is available to you right now. And once you find that position, You can let your eyes close. If that's not comfortable for you, You can soften your gaze downward. Let's take one breath in, A little deeper than usual. We're going to go in through the nose. And let it out slowly, However feels natural and comfortable to you. And go ahead and do that again. Inhale through the nose. And exhale it out slowly. And as you breathe, Take a brief moment to note that there is nothing to fix in the next few minutes. You're just going to notice what's here. I'd like you to bring to mind something that your inner critic has commented on recently. We're going to try to keep this not at the highest critical level, Something maybe a five or below. Whatever comes up, You can feel free to use that. So just take a quick moment to bring to mind something that your inner critic has recently commented on. Now while we might not recognize it, Most of us feel the inner critic somewhere specific in the body when the critical analysis arises. Even if we've never named it. So let's go looking. I want you to bring attention to your chest. Is there any tightness there, Any bracing, Any stiffening or holding? Now moving your attention to your stomach, Sometimes the critic shows up as a knot or a dropping sensation or a clenching. And now to your jaw or your shoulders. These are also common places where we hold the tension of bracing when the comments of not good enough arise. Wherever you're noticing something, Tightness, Heat, A knot, A heaviness, Just let your attention rest there. You don't need to change it. You don't need to shoo it away or make a story about it. Just notice that it's there. When the inner critic arises, We can often feel like it's a character flaw, But it isn't. It's a learned strategy you picked up somewhere along the way in life. Often in childhood, And often as a way to stay safe, Stay loved, Or stay in control of an unpredictable situation. But that doesn't mean that it's helpful now. What it does mean is that it's not evidence that there's something wrong with you. It's evidence that your body learned a long time ago that self-monitoring felt safer than self-trust. So when that voice shows up next, Try, Instead of pushing it away, To name it. Silently or out loud if you'd like. Say hello. There you are. Hello there, Critic. Or if you want to name it something special, I encourage you to do so. Say hello. I see you trying to keep me safe. And notice what happens in the areas of your body that might be bracing. What happens in your chest, Your stomach, Your jaw, Your shoulders, Your hands, Or feet. When you name it that way. Instead of believing it. And either attacking back. . . Or embodying its commons. Let's go ahead and bring one hand to your chest or your stomach. Wherever it feels most activated a moment ago. I want you to feel the weight and the warmth of your hand there. And if you don't feel anything quite like weight or warmth, That's okay. Just noticing what it is that you do feel. Go ahead and take a slow breath. And as you exhale, Let your hand press just slightly into your body. Nothing forceful, Just enough to feel a little pressure. And this weight, This pressure, Is a physical signal of safety. You're telling your nervous system, I'm here. I'm not under attack. I don't need to defend myself right now. We're okay. And go ahead and take two more breaths like this, Hand resting, Gentle pressure on the exhale. Now the truth is the inner critic is likely to not be silent forever, But that's not really the goal. The goal is that when it shows up, You have a way back to your body that doesn't require winning an argument with your own mind. You have a way back to the safety of yourself within. So before we go, See if you can find one honest, Neutral sentence about yourself today. We don't need to make it a compliment that you don't believe in. Just something that's true. Maybe it's I showed up. I'm trying. I'm here. I am touching into safety. I am touching into peace. I want happiness for myself. Whatever it is. Speak your sentence back to yourself. Whether silently or out loud. And let that be enough for now. Whenever you're ready. If your eyes are closed. Gently open the mouth up. Recognizing the space around you, Landing back into where you are and grounding into your immediate moment. And when you are ready, You can move on forward with the rest of your day. Thank you for making space.

Reviews

Thank you. Simple yet profoundly helpful and soothing. ✨️🙏🏻✨️