Welcome to Nurtured Heart Recovery,
Sharing my journey of mindful recovery and compassion based healing.
Today we will be exploring the idea of softening the barriers to love.
Let's begin by simply arriving together,
Noticing that we've made it here at all.
We might take a moment to sense where our body is right now,
A simple awareness of being supported by something beneath us.
There's no need to get comfortable in a perfect way,
Not to arrive exactly as we are.
This time is not about fixing ourselves,
It's about keeping gentle company with what's already here.
Let's allow the pace to slow,
Not because we should,
But because our nervous systems may need that kind of kindness today.
And if it feels okay,
We might close our eyes,
Soften our gaze,
Or simply look towards something neutral and calming,
Just to notice that it's already happening,
Or perhaps we just sense the movement.
And as we breathe out,
We may let a soft sigh come out if it wants to,
Or we may simply allow the breath out to be a little longer than the breath in,
Just noticing how the body already knows how to breathe.
We're letting the nervous system know,
For this moment,
It's safe to soften.
We might notice the areas of our body that have been working very hard today.
The jaw,
Shoulders,
Belly,
Philtrum.
We don't need to relax them,
Just notice them with a gentle kindness.
Sometimes,
Being noticed is enough for our bodies to soften.
Perhaps we can feel the breath in arrive,
And the breath out release,
Like waves that don't need our permission to come and go.
If breath feels difficult today,
We might instead notice contact,
Our legs supported,
Or the weight of our body being held.
We're not asking the body to relax,
We're just listening to our own needs,
And reclaiming this moment for ourselves,
Early,
To stop listening to our own needs,
And to build barriers around our hearts.
Not because we were cold,
Or insensitive,
But because we were sensitive.
Not because we didn't want or need love and attention,
But because love felt unpredictable,
Unsafe,
Or conditional.
Those barriers once protected something precious,
They helped us survive the relationships,
Systems,
Or moments that asked too much of us.
So as we explore this space together,
We're not here to tear anything down,
We're simply noticing with respect,
With gratitude,
And with choice.
At any moment,
If something feels like too much,
We're allowed to soften our attention,
Open our eyes,
We're comfortable.
We are in charge of the pace,
And we are allowed to go slowly.
And if our mind starts to wander,
Or to begin the conditioned responses,
Telling us that we don't deserve this moment of peace and love for ourselves,
We can gently bring our awareness back to our breath.
The breath in,
And breath out.
As we settle,
We might gently bring to mind the idea of barriers to love.
Not walls of failure,
But structures of care that once kept us safe.
Some barriers look like overgiving,
Some look like shutting down,
Some look like perfectionism,
Or hypervigilance.
We don't need to name them perfectly,
We can simply notice what resonates as we explore this space together safely.
And we may gently offer ourselves a reminder that these barriers didn't appear out of nowhere,
Or because we failed at something,
And survived the difficulties and challenges that we faced,
Diminished,
Just sensing the awareness.
This weight might represent responsibility for others' feelings,
Or the fear of being too much,
Or not enough.
This weight could resemble the need to escape our emotions,
Thoughts,
Or situations,
Or the guilt and shame that we've carried with us.
We don't need to drop this weight,
We don't need to throw it away,
For we've learned that it's not that easy to simply cast it off completely anyways.
We're simply noticing how long,
Even just for this moment,
We've paused and cared for ourselves.
Is safety dependent on managing other people's emotions?
So of course,
The heart learned to guard itself and carry the weight of that responsibility with us.
There's nothing wrong with us for that.
That was our nervous system protecting us so that we could survive,
Letting our bodies and our minds know that it no longer needs to protect us in that way.
We're learning a softer,
More regulated way to protect with pause and loving compassion for ourselves.
We might place a hand somewhere comforting,
Or simply resting in our lap as a quiet signal of our presence.
And we might gently say inside,
Thank you for protecting me.
If it feels safe enough,
We might imagine those barriers,
Not as rigid walls,
But as layers,
Like coats worn through many seasons.
Layers that can be loosened,
Unzipped,
And when the weather changes,
We're not asking them to disappear.
We're exploring whether those protective layers still serve us as they once did,
And if they need to remain quite so tight,
Quite so heavy,
And quite so constant.
Softening doesn't mean exposure.
It means choice.
For many of us,
Giving love to others came easier to us than receiving it.
Giving love to ourselves,
Or even allowing ourselves a moment of introspection,
Or space to become aware of our own needs,
Or emotional well-being,
Became difficult.
And as these barriers,
These layers,
If that resonates,
Know that we can find safety in the awareness that we are not alone in that experience.
We might imagine the warmth of compassion,
Not coming from us,
But coming towards us.
Warm light,
Gently and slowly,
Entering a room that's been dim for a long time.
We may visualize the morning sun eluding the space we hold,
Just as the sun rises at dawn,
Providing warmth.
And if receiving this warmth feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar,
We can simply notice that too,
Without judgment,
And gently hold this space and moment just as we are.
The part of us that learned how to survive the relationships and the protective layers we developed to insulate ourselves,
Just to become aware of their presence.
This part may be tired,
Or proud,
Or cautious,
And we might gently offer to ourselves.
If affirmations feel supportive today,
We might try a few,
Only taking what feels believable.
We are learning how to love without abandonment.
Let these land gently,
Or pass if they don't fit today.
As our practice continues,
We're not making promises to change overnight,
We're simply planting awareness.
Or sometime this week,
We might notice a moment where a barrier appears.
And instead of fighting it,
We might meet it with curiosity.
And that is enough to begin softening.
As we begin to close,
We can return our attention to the body.
The steadiness of the ground.
The rhythm of our breath.
The awareness of being here.
Nothing to rush.
Nothing to snap back into.
We're allowed to carry this softness forward.
Not as a task,
But as an option.
We may take as long as we need before returning to our day.
Or simply shift our awareness outward.
Bringing this practice with us in a way that feels supportive.
We are learning to soften the barriers to love.
Learning to love for our families and our communities of support.
And love for ourselves especially.
This learning is allowed to be slow,
Imperfect,
And human.
Thank you so much for joining us today and taking this time for ourselves to heal,
To rest,
And grow with love and blessings to you until next time.
