Ah,
You're trying to relax.
Bless your cotton socks.
You know that trying to force relaxation is like trying to flatten a wave with an iron rod.
It's absurd.
You're exhausted because you're holding your breath.
Waiting for the perfect moment of peace that you've invented in your head.
Give it a rest.
You're already here.
If you're restless,
Be restless.
If you're keyed up,
Be keyed up.
Stop auditioning for the role of Zen Master and just be the human who's currently a bit jittery.
In the Dharma,
We talk about non-striving.
It's not about doing nothing.
It's about stopping the struggle against what's happening.
Just observe the noise.
It's not a threat.
It's just data.
Look at a cube.
Look at a tetrahedron.
They don't worry about their shape,
They just are.
You've got this obsession that everything needs to change.
Your mood,
Your body,
Your thoughts,
Why?
The universe is built on constant,
Immutable structures.
You're trying to change your shape every five minutes.
Because you're afraid of the feeling.
Stop it.
You are as stable as a carbon bond.
You're not falling apart.
You're just in a temporary configuration.
An atta.
No sell.
You don't have to become calm.
You are the space where the calm and anxiety both exist.
The anxiety is just the weather.
You are the sky.
The sky doesn't get damaged by a thunderstorm.
Does it?
Your anxiety isn't a curse.
It's an over-caffeinated security guard.
That racing car.
It's oxygen for your brain to think faster,
The tingling.
It's a signal to ground yourself.
You've been looking at the symptoms as enemies.
Start looking at them as a high-tech toolkit.
If you're feeling panicky,
You're not failing.
You're just receiving an alone.
Now.
What are you going to do with that information?
You don't need to remove the anxiety,
Carry it.
Put it into a backpack.
It's heavy,
Sure.
But it doesn't define who you are.
Stop trying to redecorate your brain.
Accept the layout as it is.
When you stop avoiding the feeling.
The anxiety loses its power to manipulate you.
It's just energy.
It's just chemistry.
It's not a command.
I'm finished.
You're not broken.
You don't need to be repaired.
You just need to realise you've been fighting a war against yourself that you've already won.
You're steady,
You're constant.
And you're perfect exactly as you are.
Even when you're a bit of a nervous wreck.
Now open your eyes.
You've got a life to lead and you don't need to be zen to do it.
You just need to be you.
And that's more than enough.
