Happy Alone, Happy Together: Interpersonal Integration

A kind voice learning practice for the seventh domain of integration.

In this two-voice call-and-response practice, phrases are offered and repeated. You can receive the words, repeat them silently, or say them aloud.

A circle of containment represents the skill of staying regulated while holding your own experience and another person’s experience without abandoning either. Holding the Child Brain imprint of attachment alongside the Adult Brain’s capacity for new experience helps us feel safe, autonomous, and connected.

HOME is the capacity to hold this circle and a state of being whose vibration is linked to MWe.

Interpersonal neurobiology concepts: interpersonal integration; differentiation and linkage; attachment patterns; internal working models; secure base; safe, seen, soothed and secure; mindsight; mentalization; reflective functioning; contingent and integrative communication; rupture and repair; autonomy and connection; MWe.

Second voice: Doreen Van Leeuwen.

Transcript

My kind voice says. My kind voice says. At the seventh level is the heart of attachment. At the seventh level is the heart of attachment and the central aspect of our entire and the central aspect of our entire. Two-year brain health program. Two-year brain health program. The idea can be summarized by a circle. The idea can be summarized by a circle. We called it the circle containment in class. We called the circle containment in class. Which in IPNB means, Which in IPNB means, The capacity to stay regulated. Capacity to stay regulated while holding multiple internal while holding multiple internal and relational states at the same time. And relational states at the same time. Just like memorizing what the 7th level means. Just like memorizing what the seventh level means involves many layers of understanding, So too does the circle. So too does the circle. So too begin. So to begin, When we honor differences, When we honor differences and caringly connect in relationship, We are interpersonally integrated. The technical parts that make the circle strong the technical parts that make this circle strong. Are the four components of attachment. Are the four components of attachment. Mentalization. Mentalization. Reflective function. Reflective function. Contingent communication. Contingent communication. And repairing relationship rupture. And repairing relationship rupture. Attachment theory is a conceptual framework. Attachment Theory is a conceptual framework created by Ainsworth and Bowlby It views the early relationship. It views the early relationship between parent and child as highly influential. In the development of what's called of what's called. An internal working model of security. Yes, An internal working model of security. This is an imprint. This is an imprint. A stamp on my forehead. A stamp on my forehead. About how safe relationships are. About how safe relationships are and how safe the child feels to explore and take risks. The four S's of attachment are The four S's of attachment are. Safe scene. Safe. Seeing. Soothed and secure. Soothed and secure. Attachment can be conceptualized. Attachment can be conceptualized as a style from childhood. As a style from childhood. We call this the child brain. We call this the child brain. It can also be understood. And it can also be understood as an ongoing process. We call the adult brain. We call the adult brain. A second main skill. A second main skill at the seventh level at the seventh level. Is being able to hold. Is being able to hold the child and adult brain, The child and adult brain. We're just putting in this parentheses. Okay. The first main skill. The first main skill was honoring differences. Was honoring differences while caringly connecting. Technically. Technically. Through contingent communication. Through contingent communication. The attachment styles are secure. Insecure. Insecure avoidant. Insecure avoidant. Insecure ambivalent. Insecure ambivalent. And disorganized. And disorganized. The closer to disorganized. But closer to disorganized. The imprint of our attachment style. The imprint of our attachment style, The less likely, The less likely a person in adulthood, A person in adulthood is going to be able to hold the child in adult brain. Is going to be able to hold the child in the adult brain. In awareness at the same time. In awareness at the same time. The goal is to interpersonally relate. The goal is to interpersonally relate. So that a person feels safe. So that a person feels safe. Autonomous autonomous and able to connect and able to connect the simple definition on the chart. The simple definition on the chart was happy alone. Was happy alone, Happy together, Happy together. Ultimately, The seventh level is about. Ultimately, The seventh level is about. Finding and feeling home. Finding and feeling home. Which originally was defined as a capacity, Coming back to the skill of holding that circle. Coming back to the skill of holding that circle. Beyond that, Home is more. Yes, Beyond that, Home is more than just the capacity to stay regulated while holding multiple internal while holding multiple internal and relational states at the same time. It is a state of being It is a state of being that creates a vibration related to the ninth level identity integration concept. Integration concept. Of moui. Of moui. Practicing kind voice strengthens. Practicing kind voice strengthens our circling skills. It is a relational practice that helps us move toward more secure attachment over time.