When Someone You Love Feels Far Away

When someone you love feels far away, your mind may urgently try to understand what the distance means. This guided practice helps you pause before guessing what is happening in another person’s inner world. The meditation uses two voices, with one voice offering each phrase and another repeating it. You can simply receive the words, repeat them silently, or say them aloud. Through breathing, kind voice, and nervous system regulation, this meditation guides you through the circles of self and relationship. You will practice coming home inside and making room for not knowing, while remembering that you have choice about when and how to open outward into connection.

Second voice Megan Bates.

Transcript

When someone you love feels far away. A kind voice practice for staying connected when a relationship feels uncertain. My kind voice sees. My kind boys see. I worry. I worry. Someone I care about. Someone I care about. Feels far away. Feels far away. Meanwhile. . . Meanwhile. . . A part of my brain. Part of my brain. Feels threatened. Feels threatened. And I'm probably trying to make meaning. And I'm probably trying to make memes. Out of the perceived threat of distance. Out of the perceived threat of distance. Maybe my mind wants to know. Maybe my mind wants to know. Are we okay? Are we okay? Did I do something? Did I do something? Are they upset? Are they upset? Should I text? Should I care? Should I not text? Should I not text? Before I climb inside their circle. Before I climb inside their circle. And guess what they're thinking. And guess what they're thinking. I can come home inside. I can come home inside. Breathing in through my nose. Breathing in through my nose. And out through my mouth. And out through my mouth. Embracing long, Slow exhales. Embracing long, Slow exhales. In arriving. In arriving. And out, Home. And out, Home. In arriving. In arriving. And our home. And out I can think. I can think. What's here in my circle? What's here in my circle? Maybe I have some toys. Maybe I have some toys. Some yummy food. Some yummy food. May be the gift of body regulation. Maybe the gift of body regulation. A nice cube. An ice cube on the back of my neck. On the back of my neck. My kind voice reminds me. My kind voice reminds me. It's totally normal to worry. It's totally normal to worry. When there's distance. When there's distance. Pausing to do a meditation. Pausing to do a meditation. Doesn't mean there isn't this wonky space out there. Does it mean there isn't this wonky space out there? That needs some figuring out. That needs some figuring out with my wizard brain. With my wizard brain. Pausing lets my nervous system register. Pausing lets my nervous system register. I have a beautiful home. Have a beautiful home. With the garden of love in my heart. With a garden of love in my heart. Pausing reminds me. Pausing reminds me. That when I decide to reach my hand out again, But when I decide to reach my hand out again, And enter this other person's circle. And to enter this other person's circle. I always have two tools with me. I always have two tools with me. Choice. Choice. My home circle. My home circle. And connection. And connection. My wider home when I feel safe. My wider home when I feel safe. Everyone handles distance. Everyone handles distance. Relationship rupture. Relationship rupture. And relationship repair. And relationship repair. Uniquely. I don't have to judge myself. I don't have to judge myself. Or anyone else. Or anyone else. Right now. Right now. Handling distance is a skill. Handling distance is a skill. Of holding states of uncertainty. Of holding states of uncertainty. And I can practice that now. And I can practice that now. I can practice not knowing. I can practice not knowing. I may not know what's happening in their circle. I may not know what's happening in their circle. But it's cool that I am aware of my own. But it's cool that I'm aware of my own.