Perfectionism has this lovely little idea that if it criticizes you hard enough after you make a mistake,
You'll never make it again.
Which sounds useful,
Except that's not really how being a human works.
You're going to forget things.
You're going to say something awkward.
You're going to make a decision that in hindsight,
We wish we made differently.
And when that happens,
Perfectionism usually jumps right into the driver's seat.
How did you not know better?
Why do you always do this?
You should have handled that differently.
But here's the question that I give to my clients all the time.
What could I do differently next time?
That's it.
Not what's wrong with me or how do I make sure I never mess this up again,
Just what did this teach me and what might I try next time?
Because life is actually pretty good at repeating lessons.
If something is important for us to learn,
Chances are you're going to get another shot to practice it.
We don't have to punish ourselves into learning faster.
We can notice what happened,
Take the information,
Make an adjustment and keep going.
So the next time you make a mistake,
See if you can gently move perfectionism out of the driver's seat.
You don't need a critic to be driving the car.
You need someone who can look at the map and say,
OK,
That wasn't the turn that I wanted.
I'll know what to do next time.