You're Not OK

How necessary it is that people tell you you’re OK Then you’ll have a good feeling about yourself. No, no, no. You just put yourself in a cage. Let me tell you something: If you ever let yourself feel good when people tell you that you’re OK, you are preparing yourself to feel bad when they tell you you’re not OK.
As long as you live to fulfill other people’s expectations, you better be sure to make yourself over to live up to every damned expectation they will surely put on you.

Transcript

How necessary that people would tell you that you're okay,

So that then you'll have a good okay feeling about yourself,

Etc,

Etc,

Etc.

How wonderful it is to be in prison,

To be in your cage.

You like being in prison?

You like being controlled?

Because I'll tell you something,

If you ever let yourself feel good when they tell you that you're okay,

You're preparing yourself to feel bad when they tell you you're not.

And secondly,

You're going to be a monkey for the rest of your life,

Because you're the whole time going to live up to their expectations.

You better watch out what you wear,

And how you comb your hair,

And whether your shoes are polished,

And whether you live up to every d-a-m-n-e-d expectation of theirs.

Every one of them.

You like that?

You call it human?

See?

See what I mean?

This is what you'll discover when you observe yourself.

You'll be horrified,

Because the fact of the matter is that you're neither okay,

Nor not okay.

You really are not.

What's okay?

What's not okay?

You mean you fit the current mood,

Or trend,

Or fashion,

So you've become okay?

Does your okayness depend on that?

Does your okayness depend on what people think of you?

Jesus Christ must have been pretty not okay,

You know,

By those standards.

So you're not okay.

You're not not okay.

You're you.

And that,

I hope,

Is going to be the big discovery.

If you make this discovery,

My what a wonderful thing,

Extraordinary,

Unprecedented,

You're you.

Cut out all the okay stuff,

And the not okay stuff.

Cut out all the judgments,

And observe.

You'll make great discoveries.

Those discoveries will change you.

You won't have to make the slightest effort,

Believe me.

Reviews

That's great to hear! Thank you 💜

I listened to at least eight presentations this evening. This one was the only one I can completely adopt.
Thank you for presenting it here.
Blessings to all on the journey.
Warmly,
Anne

Well said. Thankyou

A great talk and such an engaging presenter. I'm so glad we have so much of his work to listen to, so long after we lost him. May it continue to be popular with future generations.

Thank you so much for that!🙏🏾

As usual, even though it’s short, it’s profound.

This is absolutely amazing 👏 ❤️

Ok then, er maybe not.

Love Anthony Demello

this is an amazing discovery and yet so simple i almost missed it. thank you for continuing to share Anthony De Mello’s work. 🙏🙏🙏

These talks are always so good. Thank you 🙏

Anthony's talks are always so good!