Hello and welcome to this poetry reading.
So I wanted to share this poem called The Alchemist's Dream that I wrote some years ago and it's about processing of some childhood trauma,
In this case bullying.
So if this is triggering for you,
You may not,
You may want to not listen,
But the idea here is using art,
In this case poetry,
To integrate painful feelings and emotions that may still be present from childhood and to really to have a dialogue with your inner child and to use that to heal.
So I hope you enjoy.
The Alchemist's Dream.
Awake in the mystery,
In love with the night.
I dream of the treachery,
Of the dance,
Of the light.
If I were to say to thee,
Oh beautiful one,
How much I have drowned in misery,
How deep has been my desire to shun,
To turn from my destiny,
To say no to love,
To run from humanity and seek solace in those above.
Oh my sweet one,
I know that the way of escape leads to no man's land,
But still I have run and run and run from those who reach out their hands.
It seems the pain is too great,
The wanting love is too deep,
The flame burning so bright,
The desire never satisfied,
My power so strong like a translucent night where the moon is dark amber,
When the evening birds alight.
Such is the burning,
Such is the heat,
Such is the depth of my heart and its beat incessant on and on and on it goes,
Calling out,
Calling out to be met,
To be quenched of its sorrows,
To be freed from its self-grown misery,
Crying and roaring,
Anguished to be seen,
To be heard,
To be felt,
To be serenaded by the evergreens.
Each frond of the fern feels also the same,
Reaching up,
Reaching out,
Projected by its own flame,
Listening to the whispers of the eternal source that say grow,
Grow,
Reach,
Open,
It's yours.
Yours for the taking,
So jump to it now,
This is your life,
This is it,
This is your hour.
And yet still it is there,
That soft voice of old emotional pain,
As yet unprocessed,
Not yet eaten,
Laying in wait.
I cannot no longer let me sleep,
I am done,
I have had enough of these tears that I weep that are never-ending,
Like the season of rain that never lets you sleep as it batters your roof,
A staccato drumroll refrain.
The water is everywhere and slowly seeps into your brain.
Awake in the mystery,
In love with the night,
I dream of the treachery of the dance of the light.
Still on and on I go,
Descending ever deeper,
Down into the shaft,
The pit so dark I cannot see her,
The one who I truly am,
The one who does not hide but shines and glows in the dance.
But no,
Here I am deep down in the well,
I am a small girl,
Shaking in fright,
The terror curses through me,
Filling my veins with night,
Down here in the dark with no one to hold,
No one to calm me and to brush my hair,
No one to show me how much they care.
Why did you bring me here,
I scream,
If you let me rot in this horrible dream,
This is not life,
This cannot be it,
This awful deep well of worms and snails and shit.
What did I do to those who were so cold?
Why did they shun me at only seven years old?
I did not play the games of little girls,
Of I love you,
I love you not,
Of sweet smiles and vicious curls.
Who will pull me out now,
I am down here alone.
Who will hear me cry,
Who will wake me up,
Who will hold me now,
Who will soothe my pain,
Who will rock me gently until my heart feels safe again.
Ah my sweetest young child,
I hear your cry,
I feel your pain,
I will hold the light,
I will rock you gently for an eon and a day,
Until you know for sure that this love will not go away,
For this love is your own,
It has always been,
It is like emerald shining bright luminescent green.
Those who act from hate,
From greed and from rage are only the phantoms of beings gone astray.
The anger,
The games the nasty girls play are only the feelings that with love can never stay.
You my girl must grow your heart so big and so wide that it is bigger than the world,
Deeper than the sky and so you will see that inside of it fits all of the pain,
All of the hurt,
All of the jealous fits,
All of the torment that ever was given to thee in your heart can melt into eternity and through your alchemy it can turn deep red and pink,
Like a blossoming rose it can release such a scent as you have never known and from that rose your garden will bloom,
A garden of love growing out of the compost of doom.
For no matter how long you'll stay on this glowing blue ball,
Remember my sweet that love conquers all.
Awaken the mystery in love with the night,
I dream of the treachery of the dance of the light.
