How To Set Energetic Boundaries

Boundaries are interesting conversations... These are for us and not for others... Boundaries are to be defined in your family and relationships as well, not just within your workplace. Stand up for yourself so that the universe supports you.

Transcript

Hi beautiful souls,

Welcome back to another wonderful episode.

So this is episode 6.

We are going to talk about boundaries.

Hope you all have been having a great time and thank you for those personal messages sharing about what you are thinking about this podcast and I am so grateful for reading them and connecting to you guys with it.

So boundaries are an interesting conversation.

I am going to talk about it in details related to the energetic boundaries,

Not the physical ones.

Energetic boundaries,

This has been a topic in most of my workshops that I really enjoy sharing my view,

My thought and how we can make it better.

There has been a time in my life where I haven't understood it or nobody has told me.

As time went on,

Read many books,

Connected to many teachers on my path,

I got to know more about what a boundary is and how we can honor it and care for ourselves.

So before even we connect on it,

There are some things that we need to understand like what exactly is a boundary and how do we know we don't have a healthy boundary around us.

So think about for your home,

You have a door,

The main entrance or the back entrance where you have a key and you lock it and keep it safe and when you go out or when you come in and when you are inside the home,

You are only letting people come in,

The ones you know,

The ones you trust and this is the safety net,

Right?

The same thing has to be done energetically as well.

But there are times that when we don't realize it,

We surrender,

We leave the doors open to our soul and anyone can come in,

Anyone can leave anytime they want,

You have no control on it and sometimes it's a loose connection and you feel a lot of soul loss where you feel disheartened.

So there could be some things that you can watch out if you are in those situations.

Think about are you being drained,

Are you being overwhelmed by people's reactions or if someone is having a conversation,

Is that even draining you?

And when you are having an important thing to do,

Someone barges into your space and they want to talk all about themselves.

Think about like has there been any phone conversation,

You wanted to share something but you ended up listening to the other side of the person,

Feeling heavy in your chest just by the connection of someone around you,

Even like being drained by people's dramas.

Someone has mentioned this like you know circus,

So which the person meant was like I have my own circus to deal with,

I don't want to get involved in other people's circus which is interesting yes because we all have our own part of things to be dealt and it already is too much to deal with and have a balanced life and when other people do come in and bring their own stuff to you,

It could be a lot to handle and we may feel out of balance.

So it could be like too tired to get out of the bed,

Too much to deal or hold onto the day in your own ways and part of you is split in multiple activities throughout the day.

So if you do recognize these situations in your life,

That is where you need to be listening to this episode and see what you can do about it.

Now I'm not going to tell you to do everything in a single day or change your life in just a single shot but I would ask you to think about it,

Ponder those thoughts,

Let them sink in and see what comes out of it because there is a reason you have been guided here to listen to this episode and something might be drawing you,

Making a connection into your own thoughts,

Into how the life has been for you.

So that will be interesting what comes on as you are listening to this episode.

So remember before we go further,

Not to take anything personally but just give a thought to listen to it and digest from a different perspective and see how you would like to react and how you would like to take the next step further in your life.

So here are the things,

When we say no to something,

We are going to give an opportunity to welcome something wonderful in our lives.

That could be exactly what we want in our life.

Say right now I'm going to record this podcast,

This is the scheduled time that I have it and yet someone calls me now and trying to talk to me about their dramas which is the tenth time.

So my choice is hey can I call you back tomorrow and have a chat,

I'm in middle of something or as usual just listen to it,

Get soaked and not do my work and have create a backlog which will result in more anxiety because I'm not doing something as per my schedule and it's off balance and that's where I get more upset and that I have to figure it out how else can I do this.

So this is where we need to relook into it,

How do we do this because this is not something we grew up doing it because we were always told be present to everything,

Everyone and always try to make everyone happy,

This is your duty.

In the culture that I grew up as a woman that is the main thing,

That's your responsibility to keep the family happy in a balanced and you should never say no to anything or in the work culture I was trained never say no to anything,

Opportunities,

Any work that comes in even if you are piled up or working never say no as you don't know whom you're going to upset.

So there is a lot of fear that we have been placed on and we are functioning from that fearful place and which is going to upset us and before even that fear comes in and before even we are going to say no it says let me not bother about it let me just do it but this time like you know because you have to pull your strength saying no and it's a something a different vocabulary that we haven't applied before it doesn't come easily there is a real struggle that we have to go through but hang on there take a deep breath if any of those situations do come if there are repeated things or a situation comes in you got some moment to think about it so here is what you can do listen to your gut or your intuition and feel is this what you really want to do and the answer always comes in yes and no.

The first one the silently that comes in is absolutely what you need to do but again give it a try few times and see how your gut talks to you for me it is by the subtle sounds or voice that comes in for you it could be through a pendulum or through an angel card oracle deck it could be or asking for a sign it could be but make it super clear how your gut reacts to your questions and also make it very clear when you are dual minded hey I want to do this but no no no I want to hear the message to be no it doesn't work well it's like you are trying to be diplomatic and the answer is going to be kind of diplomatic as well because that is the vibration that you are fluctuating in the energy realm and when you are going to say no to particular thing think about why are you doing it and what is that your benefit in it how are you going to utilize this space so this week on last week I had I do sit with my girls to do some artwork but last week I had to cancel that time with them and to do that I had to think about alright if I'm going to not spend an hour of art time with them which we absolutely love how well am I going to utilize it not feeling guilty about it so I had my schedule in that hour I'm going to write down my workshop that is coming up last week I had to sit and prepare for it so I'm going to be totally productive about it and that made me feel totally in control when I was going to say no there was a perfectly planned yes opportunity in my life by end of the week giving up those hours with my children for the art therapy we do it was totally worth it by saying yes to myself and I was so relieved and less pressurized and it was the best rewarding time I could do for myself and we did connect over the weekend so we had a wonderful time later on as well so these are the things that you really need to focus and think twice how do I bring it into a better way and when it's your family member some people do understand some people may not understand but it's your duty to speak up maybe you have always been saying yes and now if they are going to hear and saying you know it does take a little time for them to understand why you are doing it maybe a little bit more explanation not a justification but explanation what you were going to do or you're planning to do and how important that time could be for you will help them at least you get a view of you your life or at least you have informed them with a good decision that might help as well and these are the people who support us they are our true soul tribe who are with us in everything who can respect and understand deep into it some people are only for energy vampires energy suckers they just want me me me me me but at the end when you go turn to their door for some time for you you never would get i'm sure you relate to that right those kind of people in your life i do have so many of them i do relate to it and that is the kind of a life we are in with our family it could be or our friends it could be it neighbors anyone like you know so it is about having that internal strength to say no that we need to pull up initially i used to write it down why i want to say yes and why i want to say no and that helped me to be more constructive because it was a new thing i remember those days when i was doing the in-person workshops every alternate weekend two days after working nine day five days a week i used to go for a weekend workshops teach reiki or akashic records full time again which i used to absolutely love it but if there is a friends event occasion that would come up i would still try to make it in the evening and i know it was exhausting but i needed something to change as well but sometimes it would be just too much training that i was not able to pull myself together and i started really looking into my life do i really need to attend this and get tired for the next day to do my workshop or get back to the work the following day so when i started putting those boundaries a lot of friends did give out to me they left my support they didn't find it interesting or they didn't want to relate to me what i was going through and i had to be very hard on myself doing it but they couldn't understand it now they haven't been in that journey to fully understand what holding energetically a workshop would mean and that i get it like you know so i had to respect their decision but also moreover i had to respect myself if someone says anything you know uh sarcastically i was just like okay you don't get me now thank you for that comment that's what i would say in my heart and move further because my life is in my control and i am totally in control of what i want to bring further just like home you want to let in in your home is totally your control and you have the right you have the choice and remember never to be afraid to speak your truth and when you should not like when you don't feel right about it don't be afraid to it just say maybe in the early times you will stammer but as you do this for the right reasons you will get better and you will love that freedom that opening up opportunities in your own life that will come further and setting a boundary is not about for others just for who you are and you respecting and honoring yourself and that is where it starts with as well and also think about when you start prioritizing yourself you will feel very good inside the growth inside you and also you will see a lot of things are reflecting as you're raising your vibration most of the things that are going to bring joy in your life will come into your life as well your health will get better your physical strength and also a lot more energy to do the right things you'll be feeling as well right and that is the most important thing that you need to notice and observe in your own life and the same applies once we do this in the home environment the same reflects into your work environment as well if you're getting too much pressure more workload you're swamped with work again you will start speaking up for yourself think about if you don't do that nobody is going to come in and say hey you better take some time you deserve this time i mean i haven't had many managers in my whole career um other than one or two occasions where they would have said to take some time off be nice to yourself but rarely that comes in like mostly it's just like more and more they want to get out of it and it's just they're being selfish from their own point and think about you're being selfish for your self-care you're being selfish for your self-care does that not sound good to hear and do it right i love that yeah so whatever you're going to take the actions they're always going to make it better for yourself but again those baby steps to make those new habits does take time be patient be reflective on your growth and then it gets slowly good that you're feeling totally relaxed about it like anything that comes in after like practicing it for so long now it says like i'm more strongly saying it no and i have my own reasons for it and i totally now even getting to the zone of hey if i'm going to feel drained about these particular people in my life i'm going to not entertain that no more my energy now is more sacred i want to do for building things not for recovering from it because a lot of traumas have gone through in my life a lot of energy vampires have been and where i haven't protected myself so there are many lessons that i had to learn in this growth and i said like no this is it i'm not going to do this anymore and i guess like a lot of uh listeners there you might have been awakening as well since pandemic growing up to yourself like a lot of people who were everywhere you were placed into your own homes not able to reach out or been asked for help which was great so liberating i've been hearing a lot of stories from my clients saying it's so good to finally focus on themselves so good to learn so good to read a book or just be in themselves in the home which is just amazing i mean like these are the stories you need to hear more often right there are totally inspiring and doable as well and so perfect timings it started like i mean last year wasn't too bad at all for some people they're so happy about celebrating that um the the new liberation they found it i mean totally due respect to what's happening in the world but this is a story you do hear and we need to hear more as well what's happening on the brighter side you know um so these are the things for them the habit just fell in place because they were trying for many years it didn't happen but this pandemic that made them do it or or the other side the situation just went there for them to do and it's like manifestation came in all together right and that's the most important thing to remember so habits are not something we create in one day or you expect to change it in some miraculous way in a day it's something that we build it up like yeah over the time over the months or over the year and then it gets very easy and then we can do it what exactly we want to there is an affirmation i used to repeat in the start of this change is i'm working in my light i'm caring for myself i'm working in my light i'm caring for myself this was an affirmation that i used to repeat it initially as i was stepping into owning my boundaries and totally being responsibility taking the responsibility for it and standing up for myself and as i was doing it this affirmation was just getting that liberation closer and also the universe was supporting those people or those situations were falling or not so needy as well because i was being shown how i can be strong but the work always has to begin within us now the universe won't come and say hey this is your play card go and use it you're getting some time off you don't need to attend all these people in your life it's not going to happen you need to build your own play card where you can say this is my time and think about why should you feel guilty about it only when you are stronger you can be in service to other people fully but when you are not being stronger it's so hard it's so difficult to be of service as well so that's the thing that you need to remember and these boundaries again are for you they're not for others they don't know what you mean by unless they are your soul tribe they totally respect they won't even question you hey not now totally get it let's catch up later when you feel good you know when to reach out to me you know where i am we can hang out then that's it like you know you i never had to give any justification to my tribe if i say the last minute some plans are being cancelled i'm so sorry for dropping out they would hold that space they would understand and they would never say anything behind or with me or i wouldn't do the same to them so remember your your way of living attracts your tribe and that is the vibe that you're generating and that's the most important thing as well and one thing that reminds me is a lot of us have forgotten what are we passionate about what is the most fun thing we like to do in all these chores and the things that we have to do so here is a moment when you're saying no to something also create a time for you saying yes to yourself where you are just going to begin an art class or a music class or reading a book that you haven't done or writing a book or photography class but do something that ignites your soul that brings you into a joyful time that you really are going to enjoy as well and that will create a new hobby new interest and something to look forward in your day in your life rather than having all these unresolved things or regrets in our lives like i wish i did it like you know um something like that you know so think about it uh take it back and feel you will start feeling good inside out as you're having a passion as well something to keep you moving it could be dance listen to music dance or yeah anything that you would always wanted to do now you're finally giving an opportunity to do that yeah and here is the time to manifest what exactly we want in our life as well as you're building up your passion your joyful moment also in your manifestation or the vision board have this some line or a statement or an energy form where you are asking to send you people who respect you and you who understands your opinions and feelings and that's maybe the start of something else like your soul tribe who who are there for you will be pushing you or helping you to move further in your life and this is where again like having a boundary having these inner connections with ourselves will help us to grow deep and also stronger as well so you learn to say no and when you prioritize these things you're also utilizing yes to many other opportunities that are coming up in your life and remember remember only the supported souls are going to be with you in this journey and that's the most important thing to remember and once you're clear it's the start of everything else when you are fluctuating should i should i not do this um it's not going to work either say for a month i'm going to try this or for a week i'm going to try this and see how you feel about it and further progress your journey deep into it so how does that feel for you even thinking about it so how about we start a situation which is simple not having drastic effects that you can do this with as a trial run rather than to like a bigger commitment start with simple doable actions and that are much easier to say that you can do the trial runs on to you that's again like very easier to implement so do try that out and let me know how we get on with it because this is so important part of our spiritual awakening and this is one of the most important tools and techniques that i have in my toolkit that i always share with my students and my favorite conversation as well the boundaries the anesthetic boundaries are so important and when you have them is so liberating that you are welcoming anyone any situation only with your permission that's the most important thing it's like literally manifesting more happiness in your life right so why not start that right now at this moment and let me know how you get on so here before i close i would ask you could you please please review the podcast or share a message or if you have any comments there is there anything else you're trying with the boundaries do let me know you can connect to me at info at three manju dot com you will find my email address or my website down below and in the show notes so looking forward to connect to you or either come over onto my instagram page i'm a bit active there um so love to hear and take care my friends have a wonderful week and take care

Reviews

Thank you for sharing this message. You’ve put it so clearly & have a very calming voice 🙏💗🙏💗🙏💗

Lovely talk. You sound very approachable, like talking to a neighbour or a cousin. Blessings on your work.

Very informative thank you!! I am going to start by figure out what my "house" and needs are!

Thank you! I Iove this podcast! 💖

Wonderful and timely advice and reminder to give ourselves permission. It feels very much like this time has been an absolute gift for practicing this. Now as we go back out into the world, may we remember to keep practicing🙏