Some of us are here with Amma.
Yeah,
It's so sweet,
You know.
I mean,
How often have we heard this,
It's so sweet around Amma.
You see what human life could be like,
Really,
You know.
Yeah.
You know,
It was the first day of,
Wherever we are,
It's kind of a blur.
But,
So the first day of the program here,
The public day,
Came in and sat down and I got here in the evening,
And there was a dad who changed seats with his grown-up daughter so that his daughter could see Amma better.
And he was such a nice guy.
And I noticed that neither his wife nor his daughter really acknowledged him for doing that.
I mean,
Not that he should be dependent on things,
But anyway,
So I sat with this,
And then I just got this overwhelming,
Say something to him.
So I said,
What a nice dad.
And I said,
They're just used to you,
That's all.
And it was,
It was bullseye to his wounding,
Because obviously he is a really kind guy,
And he gets ignored.
It doesn't get seen.
I mean,
It was just obvious to me.
Anyway,
He was just so thrilled that this random stranger spoke something that addressed his core wounding,
A core wounding,
Do you see?
So that was thrilling,
So that I was,
You know,
I was just in this Amma energy,
And the guy next to me kept on doing this.
And every time he did this,
I felt the warmth and his devotion to Amma.
So I turned to him and said,
I feel so good when you do this.
He went,
He looked at me like,
Oh,
You got me,
You got me,
Like you broke through the alienation kind of.
And then the person next to me,
She was just,
She came and sat down,
And her back was just screaming for me to rub it.
So I'm like,
So okay,
I just,
With these two other people,
So it gives me enough courage to reach out and say,
Can I just rub your back?
I just got this feeling to do it.
And she was so thrilled,
And it was like,
I was just in ecstasy,
And I was thinking,
This is what we're so scared of,
You guys.
This is what we're scared of.
Okay.
This is where the world could go into violence,
In fear of this.
You know,
I was talking in the last talk that the middle place is the numbing,
That's the usual spot.
And the choice is either violence or this radical,
Unconditional love.
Yeah,
And the people who are scared are going to go into violence.
But the thing is,
What I want you to notice is,
You know,
The conflict within yourself,
Or the stress within yourself around accepting this love,
Allowing this love through.
Because I'll tell you,
It took me 40 years to become this seamless with myself and other people.
And so that it would be received like this by these people around me.
There was no,
They had no resistance at all.
You know,
In the old days,
I might make an overture to somebody,
But I would feel like uncertain if it was okay.
And then sometimes they were kind of like,
You nutty or something,
You know.
So I just wanted to highlight this.
It reminds me of this,
I probably told you that day that I came across this was in the dollar store and that his grandfather was just treating these two little kids with him so badly.
He was speaking so harshly and disrespectfully.
The whole lineup froze.
And you know what Canadians can be like,
We just freeze.
And nobody said anything,
But there was this massive disapproval.
And interestingly,
The grandfather kept on looking at me as he was treating the kids so badly.
So when I was walking out,
I mean,
I just happened to walk by his car when he was getting the kids in.
And some of you will remember this.
I turned to him and I said,
You have such beautiful children with you.
Aren't they beautiful?
And his face crumpled into this smile.
He was so shocked because he was so certain I was going to chew him out.
And I could see the little boy he had been,
The kind of mischievous,
Kind of sparkly little kid he had been.
He'd been a spunky little kid.
And I could see that he was just so shocked at not being judged.
Then I said,
You know,
Can I say this to the kids?
So he just didn't know what to do.
And so I said,
You guys are just beautiful.
And one boy went ruff,
Ruff,
Ruff.
And one boy just looked shocked,
Like nobody in the world had ever talked to him like this.
So I put this up on LinkedIn,
And somebody wrote back and said,
Oh,
It's so nice that,
You know,
There's a person in the world doing this,
Meaning me.
And I'm going like,
Hey,
We could all be doing this.
There's no firing squad,
You guys.
There is no firing squad.
It's like there was a guy who wanted to buy ice cream and it was too expensive,
So I was,
You know,
Next in line.
He had walked off,
But I said to the woman,
Did he not have enough money,
Because I'll pay for it.
So,
You know,
I did.
And then the guy behind me said,
Oh,
I was thinking of doing that.
And he ended up buying the water.
But you see,
He said,
I was thinking about doing this.
This is what we do.
We think about it,
And then it's too late.
And I think he was just relieved that somebody just did the very human thing of,
Here's the ice cream.
I mean,
He was a really skinny guy.
He hadn't had a good meal in a long time.
It's like,
I'm just really talking about the courage to be braver,
You know,
To help warm up the world.
And even if you get rebuffed,
Sometimes I get rebuffed.
I'm sending love to some of you.
Some of you look like you're having a really hard time.
Yeah.
I can tell.
You guys,
I can tell.
I know who you are.
Sending love.
Yeah,
Lots and lots.
Yeah.
It's you.
Lots and lots.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Good.
It's lovely to have some of you.
It's lovely to have a couple of guys back.
A couple of you guys disappeared.
It's nice to see you back.
Yeah.
Pramasuta?
Yeah.
I have a question about marriage of the sacred feminine and masculine.
I've had the story of Orpheus and Eurydice in my mind,
And something that bubbled up this morning was that we can walk out of hell at any time,
And that hell is a construct in our mind.
Yeah.
And a question that had been bubbling around in my head was kind of like,
What role am I in the story?
And the answer came up that it's both.
So I just wondered if you could talk about that.
Yeah,
The marriage of masculine and feminine.
What was the mythological story?
I'm not familiar with it.
What is it?
The story is,
So Eurydice,
The feminine,
She's been banished by Hades to hell,
And her lover,
Her love,
Orpheo,
Is told that he has one opportunity to be able to go to hell and retrieve her,
But the crux of it is that he can't look at her,
And that if he looks at her,
It will destroy her.
And they make it almost out of hell,
And he turns back and looks at her,
And she disappears.
And so I think,
Yeah,
There's a lot there,
But I think the thing that is coming up is just,
You talk about the pendulum swinging back and forth,
That we're never trapped in hell,
We can walk out anytime,
But that we are pilgrims on this journey,
And that we're walking it in a way,
Infinitely held,
Greatly held,
But alone.
And so that's,
And then confusion is coming up right now.
So are you feeling like you're in hell right now?
I feel like we all are.
When you were talking just now,
I remember you,
It bubbled up in my mind,
You said that what we're doing here,
You know,
Is really that we ultimately are making a choice of,
Like,
You as a model of,
If that's the kind of person that we want to be in the world,
And I hear you talk about,
You know,
Going around and just interacting with people and being able to see them so clearly and offer them love.
And what I see right now,
You mentioned that you were able to look at that grandfather and see the little boy that he used to be,
And I think that's what I see.
I just see brokenhearted children everywhere.
And I'm a teacher,
Too,
So I mean that,
Yeah,
I mean that literally and figuratively.
So,
Yeah,
That's what I see right now.
Literally and figuratively.
So,
I just,
I want to bring in more love.
And so I want to be like that.
I want to be like what you just said.
Right.
And we're all,
We're all like this at the Roots.
Jenna,
Take a step back into yourself.
You're trying to solve it from being a little outside yourself,
A little bit.
Yeah,
You got to come right back.
Like,
You're the brokenhearted one.
So you see it everywhere.
Right.
Right.
And what I'm getting is I'm talking to you is you're saying to me,
I can't get a handle on my broken heart.
And sweetie,
Okay,
Everybody,
This is it.
You cannot get the handle on your broken heart.
Okay?
You all want to do this.
You all want to get a handle on your broken heart so you can solve your life.
You can't.
What you can do is you can fully feel this broken heart.
Did you miss that,
Alex?
You can't get a handle on your broken heart.
You have to,
You have to embrace your broken heart.
You have to be it fully,
Fully,
Fully.
And this is,
We're so scared of doing this,
We think we're going to die.
Yeah.
The little child,
I mean,
Really,
I think maybe this is why little kids die,
Is they take one look at the lives they chose and they went,
I can't.
I just can't do this.
I'm,
I'm going back home.
Right.
But Jenna,
It's like,
Sweetie,
Your heart is so big that for you,
If you,
Like for you to kind of embrace your broken heart for your child self,
It was like,
It just seemed like the broken heartness went on for eternity.
Right.
Right,
Sweetie.
Yeah.
This is,
This is,
My heart breaks for all of you.
Right.
Is I know this pain.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you,
You can't run from it because it's what you came in to heal.
So you can try and run till the cows come home.
It won't work.
You'll still get faced with it again and again and again.
And even then on your deathbed.
Right.
That's it.
Okay,
Good.
Sweetheart.
Jenna,
Good.
So what happens is if you keep feeling that pain,
You start feeling some rays of light.
So I don't know if you've feel the rays of light yet,
But I do.
I can see the light in your heart with you going down deeper into that pain.
Do you understand?
How do you feel right now?
You don't have to feel better.
Don't make it pretty.
Just be truthful.
I feel safe enough to keep going.
That's,
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's kind of it.
That's what it comes down to.
There's a point where you feel you're broken hard enough that you can start to really witness yourself.
Okay.
You know,
In the spiritual journey,
They talk about the witnessing.
We can't witness until we get enough kind of,
We feel our core wounding enough that we can become We feel our core wounding enough that we can become a little less attached to our egos.
I can feel the incredible depth right now with you guys.
I can feel the incredible depth that you're being held in.
It's coming from your souls.
Your souls are holding your human personality in this incredible loving depth.
In a depth of unconditional love.
And this one's energy is there too,
Holding you.
Some of you think this is impossible.
Some of you are receiving it.
Some of you think it's impossible.
It's okay.
Even if you think it's impossible.
Meh,
It's all right.
We'll get through to you one day.
Don't worry.
You know,
I've been on the stove cooking.
This soup is 40 years in the making.
Okay.
So,
You know,
Compassion for yourselves a bit.
Okay.
So,
Jenna,
When you were,
When you said that,
You felt like you were being held in So,
Jenna,
When you were,
When you said that,
I could see you felt that grief.
And then when you came forward and said,
I got enough to keep going.
So what I saw was a little bit of like a scab in your deep heart.
It's like the wounding.
It's like you'll have to go down into it.
You'll have to learn over time to go down into it without it feeling so different from your regular life.
Do you know what happens as you,
As you see as you guys,
As you go along,
Your life just becomes this healing.
So you function in the world and everything,
But you're not identified with whatever job you've got in the world.
You're identified as a seeker who's healing this wounding.
Jenna,
You have full permission to heal this wounding.
Yeah.
Right.
It's like part of you thinks it's absolute.
Part of you thinks the wounding's absolute.
It isn't the wounding that's absolute.
It's the love,
Unconditional love that's absolute and all-powerful.
Not the wounding.
No,
Wounding's just,
Yeah.
Ah,
Sweet one.
I'm gonna,
I'm gonna ask for grace.
You're,
You know,
It's like you come out of the wounding because you're trained to do.
It's just,
Just drop into the being more.
There's nothing to do.
You've got like another month off.
You don't even have to do the same for this.
You can just,
You just,
Yeah.
Okay.
So I can feel like,
Okay,
What is the resistance to really allowing this healing to this wounding to heal,
Jenna?
Just say the first thing that comes.
Don't think about it too much.
There's,
My mind is blank.
Okay.
Yeah,
My mind doesn't have an answer.
Say,
I don't want to heal.
Just say that.
I don't want to heal.
I don't,
I don't want to heal.
Because if I healed,
I wouldn't know who I am.
Because if I healed,
I won't know who I,
I wouldn't know who I am.
Right.
You get that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're very identified with your wounding.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can you guys listen to this?
This is,
This is all solid gold.
You're very identified with your wounding.
Yeah.
Yeah,
I've been,
I've been feeling that,
That it's,
This feels like completely uncharted territory,
That letting go of the story of who I think I am.
That's.
Yeah.
It is.
Yeah.
Your ego's gonna go,
We'll die.
We'll die.
It's just your ego that dies.
You know,
It's very scary.
I know.
It's so stupid that it's scary.
It's so ridiculous.
It's like a little kid being scared to come out of a nightmare,
Right?
I know the nightmare so well,
I'm scared to come out of it.
Because maybe it will be worse.
Yep.
No,
It will be much better.
Yeah.
Yeah,
That's all.
Sweetie,
You're just attached to your wounding.
You're attached to the storyline.
It's like,
Yeah.
That's why it doesn't heal.
But it's okay,
Sweetie.
It's like,
You're a really love-powerful woman.
So,
You know,
You,
It has to be done gradually,
You know?
But even just hearing this,
That you're attached,
It's like,
This is actually reducing the attachment,
And it's being exposed in front of the group,
And this is what's so great about these groups.
We can expose our troubles and our egos and everything,
And in the exposure,
It heals.
Mold disappears in sunlight.
Believe me,
This ego stuff is mold,
Really.
And in the light of love and this exposure,
This exposure,
It melts.
Now,
We have a choice.
Okay,
You guys,
You have a choice.
You can make this kind of gentle exposure,
Or life will expose you.
Life will expose your ego.
So,
You either do it like this,
Or it gets done for you by life,
Which is the far harder way to do it.
Right.
So,
Jenna,
It's smaller,
Because you spoke.
Yeah.
So,
You won't be able to believe it as much.
Don't push yourself,
Please,
Sweet one.
Forty years.
Hopefully,
You guys won't take so long,
But I just want to say,
It's a slow cooker.
May you guys have like a decade or two less.
Or some people come in with so little stuff that they wake up seamlessly without a lot of trouble,
But then they would have had,
You guys,
They would have probably had three lifetimes where they tried really hard on the spiritual journey,
But still didn't reach self-realization.
See?
Then on the fourth life,
They come in,
There's so little work to be done that they just wake up.
So,
Ramana Maharshi,
You know,
The Archana,
Archula,
The mountain guy,
He loves the mountain.
What's it called?
Archana Mountain?
What's the word?
Archula?
I can't remember.
Arunachala.
Arunachala.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So,
He woke up at 16 overnight,
You know,
And then just was awake.
By the way,
I wanted to say,
There was one thing I wanted to talk to you about,
Is like,
It doesn't matter how high somebody gets,
They're never fully cooked.
Like,
The Ramana,
So he was,
You know,
I don't know,
He'd been teaching for years and years and years,
Decades.
And when he was walking around the mountain,
He stepped on a wasp nest,
And he left his foot in there for it to get stung.
And his foot and leg got stung and swelled up.
And afterwards,
His students said,
Why did you do that?
And he said,
It was my mistake.
It was,
You know,
I put my foot in the territory of the wasps in their land,
And they were entitled to punish me.
I mean,
That,
That just seems like for me,
I mean,
I don't know that even I could ever just let my foot be stung,
But hopefully I could,
I don't know.
But that's the level of humility that works.
And,
You know,
You'll teach us,
You know,
As soon as you think you've got it sewn up,
I just,
I just think it's just so easy to go wrong.
So it's better to keep that humble approach that Ramana illustrates or Amma.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember once Amma,
She was remonstrating with me.
She,
She was,
One of the many times that she was correcting me was moderately cross.
She grabbed my cheek,
And she looked up to the heavens as if to determine how hard to squeeze.
So she's going,
Okay,
How hard to squeeze,
You know,
For the correction?
Yeah.
And I was struck by that.
She looked to the heavens.
And I actually think that was part of her message to me.
Premasuddha,
We look to God more often rather than to Premasuddha.
You know,
I think that was part of what she was saying.
But anyway.
Yeah.
Okay.
Any other questions or comments?
Inge,
Did you want to say something?
Thank you for opening the space.
And thank you for listening.
I realize again and again.
For example,
Last week,
I did Feldenkreis lesson.
As a student,
It's where you try to let go the stuff you don't need in the body,
The muscle tension or something.
Even if I manage sometimes to let go in the next moment,
Because of maybe that fear of letting go and not being identified with the wounding or the things I'm used to,
I return into stuckness or into old behavior.
And I'm wondering if it's enough to to walk on and practice and realize,
Or if it's maybe necessary to go to maybe a therapist,
A trauma therapist who would help to get over something?
Or is it really enough to go on the journey?
Yeah,
Don't good.
I really trauma,
You know,
Sorry,
But I'm,
Man,
I think people are being re-imprinted all over the place.
And I think the trauma therapist can only help if they're through their own trauma.
And you could do like 16 years of university,
Have countless PhDs and never be through your trauma.
Your problem is like,
Sweetie,
Sweetie,
It's so easy.
It's like being a wildflower.
Okay?
Just be like a wildflower just either,
You know,
Fill your body up with light.
Don't try to fix yourself.
But I am like,
I am not really a technique person.
I mean,
Unless the technique,
Well,
Sweetie,
It's a think of a wildflower,
A wild loving,
Fill yourself up with light.
You know,
Ask for grace.
You're like this beautiful flower.
It's like,
How do you fix a flower?
You guys don't try to fix a flower.
Please,
All of you male and female.
No fixing a flower.
Fill yourself with light.
Ask for grace.
You know,
Observe.
If you get stuck in hating somebody,
Remind yourself that the hating will not work,
That it will come back to you.
I mean,
If you really remind yourself of that,
You'll start witnessing the hating because you don't want it coming back to you.
It's easy,
Sweetie.
It's easy.
You just set your will for I want to grow.
I don't want to come back and do this.
There's no fixing.
No fixing.
It's the ego that fixes.
Please.
You're a wildflower.
You're beautiful the way you are.
You need good soil.
You need water.
You need sunshine.
So you need some kind of authentic spiritual teacher more than just one.
Um,
You know,
The focus on like every morning when you get up,
I am moving into more love today.
You set your will.
There's no fixing.
Hmm.
You will and then see what you're growing out of and then see where your mind would would catch you.
And then just see,
Hey,
I don't have to go along with this.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No fixing.
Please,
You guys.
If you just surround yourself in light,
As much as possible,
What will happen is your ego will start to burn off.
First of all,
We'll try to keep you it'll start coming,
You know,
Try to keep you in the negative playpen.
But if you keep this focus,
Like surrounding yourself with light and.
I don't know,
Whatever,
You know,
Sure,
I'm almost pedal.
Meditation,
The thousand names.
But,
You know,
I did it wildly like a wildflower.
I just went I'm coming into light and I would just surround myself with light.
I just use my will this way.
That's quite kind of a wild teacher.
And that's why I know that love wins,
Because it won with me.
Women give birth.
We understand surrender.
We might think that we don't we might say we have to fix ourselves.
But every woman,
Especially if you've given birth,
You know how to surrender.
You've already done it.
And every guy's got a feminine in them knows how to surrender.
You see,
You guys,
I can feel it right now.
I can feel the resistance.
It's very interesting.
You know,
I mean,
This is what we're like.
Yeah,
I really want to grow.
But not not that.
God,
Not no,
Not that.
Not that.
But I really want to grow.
But I can't give up that.
No.
I can feel the resistance.
This is good.
Some of you be sleepy.
Give them a did you want to say something?
Good.
Love to hear from you.
I just want to share one of my very first experiences with Amma.
I wound up in the Prasad Seva line.
My idea of a set song was new to me.
I didn't know much about Amma.
And through a series of events that were felt really coincidental,
I wound up in the Prasad Seva line.
And I was watching this little boy come up with his family.
And he was kicking and screaming the whole entire way.
And that was the only family I got to give Prasad for Amma to,
You know,
In.
It's when this little boy screaming and crying after she handed him chocolate.
He looked so delighted.
And he said,
Ah,
You look like,
Oh,
Gosh,
I didn't know there was going to be chocolate.
And it was just I was supposed it was like I was supposed to see this kid.
And I,
You know,
I've held that close a long time,
But I still kick and scream.
But I do feel like I'm really being called right now to say,
What about me?
You know,
What about me?
I need to stand with myself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Sweetheart.
Yes.
Right.
And this last time I saw her,
I really was in a funk and saw her in Oakland.
And I went up and I got,
You know,
I got I received my darshan and I didn't even look at her.
I just started to walk away and she called me back and gave me a chocolate.
So an unwrapped chocolate.
And it's funny because I didn't even put that together then,
But it's starting to hit me that,
You know,
She's she's after us,
You know,
Are me.
You know,
Like when you when you were asking before.
Now,
I forget the the Jen's Jen,
You know,
What's holding you and that feeling of not deserving,
You know,
That that I think,
You know,
Is that's what came up for me.
You know,
What stopped you?
And it's that feeling I'm not deserving,
But.
I do deserve.
Yeah,
You do.
You do.
You are that.
Amma and you have the same soul.
All of us have the same soul.
And Amma has the same soul.
We're all one.
How could any of us not be deserving?
Really?
Right.
Right.
I'm letting it in little by little,
You know,
But I'm starting more with affirmations and and thank you for this.
I was kind of in the funk this morning feeling,
Oh,
You know,
So broken.
And yet,
You know.
I guess I can choose what I had done,
You know,
With what I identify.
Well,
Sweetie,
Hold on,
Because last week I saw you looked really down,
Too.
So,
Sweetie,
It's just,
You know,
We're like little kids trying to do it right.
It's like we are.
Yeah,
You're OK the way you are.
Like,
You know,
If you're feeling undeserving,
You're feeling undeserving.
It's like,
You know,
We we can't legislate ourselves out of these states.
We can.
I feel like I can choose different thoughts,
Though.
Sure.
Yeah,
You can.
You can.
But what the ego will do,
You do that and then the ego will give you you'll start getting a flood of negative thoughts.
At some point.
OK,
This is how it works,
You guys.
Go choose your thoughts.
Right.
OK.
OK.
And the ego will will go along with this for a while and then it will try to lasso you back.
So what will happen is you'll start getting a flood of negative thoughts.
You'll go,
What's going on?
I thought I was doing so well.
Really,
This is and then people berate themselves and then they go in with the ego and it's like,
Understand,
There is part of you that is fighting tooth and nail to keep you in your your psychological space.
OK,
So when you stand up and go,
Hey,
I want to awaken.
And you will get these challenges.
But the thing is that there's some connection I would really like to make with you,
Shiva,
My like it's some kind of energetic connection.
And I know that once we do this,
It's like a level of understanding.
It's something I feel like it's like once you realize how deeply you are understood.
Actually,
By this one.
I mean.
I was like a million of me,
So of course she understands you.
But from this one,
Once you get it,
It's like once the wire connects.
You'll go.
Why would I possibly hold on to anything that is preventing this expansion into unconditional love?
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's no rush.
But really,
It's like that.
That's it.
And you see,
You're even your dad's example of repeating that can interfere with this at all.
It's just what he did.
It's nothing.
It's nothing.
Once you make that connection,
You realize that you're lovable.
And that you're fine the way you are.
And that you're deeply,
Deeply understood.
There's no fight.
It just you just go home.
Oh,
It becomes like a new day a new.
Actually,
I actually think we do change dimensions.
Okay.
I think we change dimensions a lot,
Almost with every decision.
Yeah,
The chief of my it's sort of like.
Yeah.
And it comes in through the cells of your body,
It doesn't come in through the head comes in through the cells of your body.
When you get it,
It will come in,
It'll be a direct experience.
So how do you feel when I see this?
And just be honest,
Just totally.
I guess the word,
I guess I feel detached.
Right?
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
Yeah,
It's like,
I'm just listening to you.
But,
Um,
Yeah,
It's what you did as a little kid.
You detach.
Yeah.
From the circus around you.
There's no rush,
Sweetie.
There's no rush.
Almost got all of us.
So we're all going to get where we need to go.
You know,
I look back and I felt like,
You know,
Abraham,
He was very strict,
Very male,
He had a certain way to do things,
But he was very illuminated.
And I look back,
And I was always kind of arguing with him.
Like,
I knew he was enlightened,
But I also argued with him inside myself with his format with the masculine Hawaiian thing,
A whole bunch of things anyway.
Afterwards,
Well,
He actually invited me to come in to be in his close group,
But I just I couldn't do it.
It wasn't the right way for me.
But I realized afterwards that I just resisted.
Like,
Maybe he wasn't the right teacher for me in the long term.
But I looked back and I thought I,
I was fighting inside myself a lot with him,
Arguing.
And it's like,
That was where I was and everything.
That was my,
It's just where my ego development was.
But afterwards,
I saw how deeply he loved me,
How patient he'd been with me,
How he tried to get through to me in so many different ways.
So I feel like sometimes you some of you guys are like that with me.
It's like getting my own karma back.
This is what we're like,
It's okay.
You know,
It took me I guess 10 years after I finished with Abraham,
I realized what a gift he'd been in my life.
And I've spoken to him energetically.
I've spoken to him energetically.
Yeah.
But we actually don't know what people are doing for us when they're doing it,
Really.
But you know,
The person who's a real teacher doesn't,
Doesn't care because they're just so happy to share.
They don't,
They don't have much of an agenda.
They just want to help reduce pain in people,
Really.
Yeah.
Really,
That's all I want to do.
Yeah.
And you know,
The silence does it,
The inner Amma within all of us does it,
It's not even Pramasutra doing it,
It's just being done.
All of us have coming together to move more deeply into our hearts.
So it's happening in this very human way.
Bumbling,
Emotional,
Messy.
It's like motherhood.
Some days the kids are cranky.
Yeah,
Please,
Alex.
Well,
First,
I just want to say,
I'm feeling really,
Just really warm and surrendered and thankful for all your words and especially re-listening to last week's Satsang was really helpful.
At the end,
You said something that we,
We have a right to our mistakes,
Which really struck me as really like,
Just a relief,
Like,
Just like,
Oh yeah,
Of course.
It really helped subdue the perfectionist tendency in me a lot.
And one,
One prayer that I've had going a lot lately is asking for grace,
For space,
To,
You know,
Do the deeper inner work,
Like the time and the energy for,
For that kind of reflection,
As well as the demands of,
Of,
You know,
The time and the energy for,
For that kind of reflection,
As well as the demands of,
Of my life,
My,
My external life.
And,
You know,
Seeing the weave and having them really not be separate.
And more and more,
I'm finding these,
These experiences of being in the midst of the kids and the home life and,
And the chaos and feeling like I'm still doing my practice of,
Of presence and,
And prayerful,
Like serving love.
But there's also been this ask for,
Like,
Whatever my soul needs to go deeper,
Like,
For there to be space for it.
And,
And I,
So I just want to say it,
It seems like one of the kind of answers I've gotten in a way has been people's,
Like random people's noticing of me with the kids.
Oh,
Yeah.
Like at the grocery store,
The other day,
I had all three of them in the car,
Then we're all you know,
We're doing our thing.
And this woman just came up.
And,
And I mean,
It was kind of like what you do.
But you know,
She just came up and said,
Oh,
My gosh,
Like,
She just was full of praise for like,
The whole scene,
Like the beautiful children,
And me and how we were going through the store and how,
How beautiful and harmonious it seemed and,
And I,
I was able to take it not as like an ego boost of like,
Oh,
I'm being a really good mother,
But like,
I just really took it as,
Well,
Maybe I did take it a little bit like that.
But I also saw the expanse of love behind it.
Like it seemed like a,
Just a little boost from the universe saying like,
Okay,
You're in the right direction.
You're in the right direction.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know,
I have a funny feeling of actually my energy was coming through.
When you spoke,
I kind of feel I kind of feel this,
That it was like,
Part of me was there.
Not funny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well,
Sure.
You know,
A bit of a gap,
But taking it as the universe validating you.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's it.
Good.
And when you're talking about the depth of,
You know,
With the mothering,
It's,
Hold on a sec,
There's something more to come.
Just becomes the terrain as the,
You know,
The years and the journey,
Alex,
The terrain just becomes this deepening,
You know,
And it's just an ongoing and then everything you do is from that.
Yeah.
There's no getting in there with any boundaries or categories or anything.
It's just,
You've signed up for a deepening and it's in everything you do.
And the more you focus on their desire to embody more love,
The more the deepening takes place.
It will get so simple for you over time.
And you're on your way,
Sweetie.
Like,
You know,
That like,
You can see your development over the years.
Yeah.
I feel like you kind of want me to rubber stamp you and you did.
That's fantastic.
But I,
I always want to take you deeper into the deepening and the time will come where I don't do this anymore.
I won't feel that I'll have to keep saying it.
Just come from the deepening.
Just come from,
Let my will be your will,
God.
Just,
It's so simple,
Alex.
There's no,
It's just you want to be with Alma and raise your kids in that.
And then you notice when you're off with the kids,
And then you turn to God and you do that,
Right?
Don't you do that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's,
That's the saving grace.
Yeah.
But that's so great that you do that.
I mean,
If all the mums in the world did that,
We'd be so much better off.
Alex,
It's all good.
Sweet one.
What's going on with you?
Right now?
I can hear the little one outside screaming.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm distracted now.
But okay,
Well,
Then you can go if you need to.
Well,
My husband's out there with him.
But I still I can hear him.
So it's just got me on alert.
Yeah,
Mums,
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But yeah,
Thank you.
I,
I do feel really held and more surrendering.
Yeah,
I can feel you know,
Three boys and a husband and a Yeah,
I can feel you know,
Three boys and a husband.
I had two boys.
No husband.
That was so male for me.
You've got like,
Yeah.
So the good thing about being surrounded by maleness is the only way through it is really,
We have to become more feminine to deal with it.
So that's the good news.
I think she's disappeared.
I can't see her now.
Okay.
Oh,
There you are.
Yeah.
But I'll say I'll say goodbye.
And thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thanks,
Alex.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Joanne.
Yes,
Please.
Sorry for missing.
That was actually me saying goodbye.
And thank you to go.
Because I'd love to hear your you come forward.
Maybe next time.
Yeah,
I will.
Okay.
Goodbye.
Yeah.
Questions,
Words?
Maxi?
Yeah,
Yeah.
Yes.
So I,
I had for I was one chair dream.
I had one dream for for many,
Many,
Many years that I was going to high school.
And I was like,
At the beginning,
I was just there doing my high school.
And years later,
I was like,
In the dream.
I'm like,
Why am I here?
I'm a mom.
Why do I go to high school?
I was kind of like,
Why do I have this dream?
And this night,
I had the dream that I was going to university.
And I was like,
Okay,
Maybe I did the high school thing.
And I finally finished it.
And I can go to high school now.
And with me,
There have been,
Like,
Also a couple parents and with kids and around 40 years old.
And I was like,
Okay,
I think I'm right here.
That's the right place.
And right after this,
I felt really,
Really good.
But now I feel this the next thing is cooking inside me.
So it's been tough times.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
I think that's awesome to graduate from high school.
It's what it is.
It's awesome to have graduated from high school,
But you're at university.
This is a good omen.
This is good.
Yeah.
And,
You know,
The expansion possible in university for people,
It can be a hard and intellectual expansion.
So this is really good.
And I'm not surprised things are are cooking for you.
Yeah.
You know,
Maxie,
I always see your good heart,
Sweet one.
And I see this tremendous,
Beautiful heart in you.
Yeah.
And sometimes I feel like you're the last to know.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
And your heart is stronger and bigger than any of the stuff cooking right now,
Which is just the next level of clearing.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
You're much better than you think you are.
And I think this has been my message to you.
And I've done this with you,
Right?
That's deep.
But this is why I'm so happy you graduated from high school now.
And,
You know,
After this,
The sky's the limit,
Really.
Once really getting out of the high school thing,
The sky's the limit for you now that really your growth is could be exponential.
Yeah.
The important step was just getting out of that high school thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like 10 years.
I don't know how many years I dreamed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it was reflecting the truth.
That's what dreams do.
They go you who you who that's very humble of you to speak and really your your growth.
There's no ceiling,
Maxie.
No.
Okay.
And but no pressure either.
Okay.
Just take your time.
Beautiful child there.
That's the little one,
Right?
Yeah.
Hello,
Sweet one.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
I can feel once I spoke up,
Because good.
Yeah.
You connect up.
That's it.
The connecting up.
That's it.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You guys did so great.
Anybody else?
Yeah,
I wanted to share a story.
Yeah.
Hi.
First,
Maxie.
It's so interesting,
Because our youngest son just graduated from high school.
And the last one.
Yeah.
And it feels like a big change to me as a mother.
So I can relate to that feeling in your dream.
I mean,
You would talk speak about that.
Yeah,
But the story I wanted to share,
It's not a question.
It's a story.
I was at the dog park with our dog.
And a little boy came running after a dog.
And then there was another boy and a mother.
And they were all very stressed and very upset.
And then the dog came and the boy was yelling at the dog.
And I was thinking about this after because there might be a time I would have just looked and thought,
What's the problem?
Or I don't know,
Maybe just walked by.
But this time,
It felt like kind of what you said before to Alex,
You were speaking through me.
I just stepped forward and found myself in the situation.
And I said,
I just felt that stress.
And I said,
I don't know what it kind of talked through me that,
Yeah,
The dogs do that here,
They just run off.
And I realized,
It felt like they were the first time in that dog park.
And then the dog,
The kid was yelling at the dog,
And the mom was yelling at the kids.
And I felt the mom,
It was strange,
She wanted me,
It was always like the mom was embarrassed that I thought she wouldn't have her kids and her dog under control.
And I thought after,
You know,
We're so busy on appearances,
What does she care what I think that we yell at our kids.
And that would be me seeing that,
You know,
I'm in the same boat.
Anyways,
Then I said,
Oh,
You know,
The dogs just do that.
Mine just runs off.
And he comes back.
And I look at the boy.
And I said,
Such a cute dog.
It was a puppy,
Apparently big puppy.
And I could literally feel them relaxed.
And the boy was relaxing.
And the mom was smiling.
And we talked a bit,
They were all smiling.
I walked off and I was so happy.
I really thought,
Yes,
A little bit what Alex says,
Of course,
A little ego boost,
But also a feeling of God,
We're so busy doing what other people think should be,
We should be doing that we yell at our children,
You know,
And the child at the dog.
Right?
Um,
Yeah,
I just wanted to share this,
Because through me that yeah,
It's really that opportunity.
And I was really happy and thankful after,
Right?
Sharing the human condition,
It's very therapeutic,
And it restores us all to sanity,
Right?
Fantastic.
And don't you guys don't judge ego boost,
Just let it be.
Just please,
We'll fix it.
Just let it be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh,
That's cool.
Good.
It's easy.
That's empowered.
That's power,
Empowering.
And you will feel safer,
You know,
You increasingly you feel safer and safer in existence when you do that.
And it's like I said,
It's like,
But we really we either do stuff like this,
Or we we get the guns out and shoot,
You know,
Do you know,
Like in McDonald's or something,
You know,
This happens every it's one or the other.
So if we do this,
Yeah.
Good.
Yeah.
Good.
I'm happy.
This is it makes my heart sing that that you're doing it.
You did it.
Right.
It's not scary,
Is it Saskia?
It feels so good.
It feels different,
Because I used to be a flight attendant for a long time,
And then a teacher.
So I'm very used to go to people,
Approach them children to you know,
I speak to children,
I speak to people and it but it always was like what you said a little bit awkward.
So what you want.
But in this situation,
It wasn't at all,
I felt like I was really helping them.
It was not awkward.
And it was it was natural.
Yeah,
You were just coming from the heart.
That's it.
Yeah,
That is coming from your heart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is what we're so scared of.
Yeah,
Yeah.
Right.
Good.
Good.
It's time for one more comment or question for anybody's Masuda,
I just want to say,
Thank you so much.
I am.
I feel myself being soaked up with love.
So intensely this time.
It's always like this.
But this time,
It's very much.
It's a very intense feeling.
It's like,
And and,
You know,
The love existing in this group and the love you create through this satsang in this group with everybody.
I feel so connected with all of you.
It's so beautiful.
I just want to express my deep,
Deep,
Deep gratitude.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sweet.
Thank you.
Thank you for all those who have been stepping forward with support to,
You know,
Make little shorts out of these talks.
Some of you have been stepping,
Jenna's been stepping forward to do that and Stephanie and Anna.
So the ongoing support,
But the little snippets of these talks.
So Jenna's taken them.
So they've got like two minutes and it's going straight to bullseye about a point I'm wanting to make.
And I'm so happy this is they're going out and I'm thinking,
You know,
I don't know what the YouTube channels are going to do in response.
People are going to de-subscribe with some of them because one of them is like the guy sitting in the road with the feces and how he's a universal,
He's an important,
Worthwhile human being.
And then I'm thinking,
Well,
If people unsubscribe,
Oh well,
You know?
Yeah.
Because,
But I'm just so grateful for the support.
And I'm really wanting,
I'm going to say to you that anybody who does SEVA,
I mean,
For them,
For it to be,
You know,
Just don't stress about it.
You know,
Like,
You see,
In my life,
What's happened is I stepped forward with this open-ended wanting to service,
Serve.
Just like,
You know,
Some of you stepped forward wanting to help with this work and just keep it open-ended and not stressful.
Do you know,
Like,
And,
You know,
I'm getting more equanimous as time goes on.
Have you noticed I'm getting sweeter?
I'm getting less cranky.
So,
You know,
It's all going to just move into more harmony.
We all get better,
You know,
It's true.
Yeah,
It's true.
Yeah.
Right.
And you guys are all becoming more love-filled and wiser.
And even in your nighttime dreams,
This resistance will be melting.
It will just be gradually melting.
You just keep,
You know,
Spiritual practices,
Arma,
Satsangs,
Waking up,
Filling yourself with light,
Waking up,
Going,
Every moment today,
I am moving into more truth.
Don't try to fix yourselves.
You're beautiful.
Yeah,
No fixing.
No fixing allowed.
We're loving out our resistance,
Or sometimes I'll get out the scalpel,
But it's loving it out.
Surrounding yourself with light over and over.
No matter how badly you screw up,
You just keep surrounding yourself with light.
All our screw-ups are really stupid,
Really.
I mean,
You know,
They're just what happens in a life.
Nobody gets out scot-free.
We're all going to screw up sometimes.
Yeah.
And thank you,
Anna,
For speaking like that,
That you're receiving it more.
Yeah.
And remember,
When I go and get hugs,
You know,
It's all coming to you guys too.
Some of you have seen,
Like,
I got to meet Laura face-to-face after having talked to her for about three years.
It's like thrilling.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay,
Blessed ones.
So,
It'll be next Sunday.
Sunday,
Yes.
Nice to see you back,
Virgin,
And Trilla Jan.
And thank you all for coming,
You guys.
Just,
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Blessings.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Many,
Many blessings.
Yeah.
Many,
Many blessings.
Yeah.
Many,
Many blessings.
Yeah.
Many,
Many blessings.
Yeah.
Bless your dear hearts.
Yeah.
Grace for the week.
Lots of grace for the week.
Okay.
Bye.
