What Is Addiction? Mind, Body, And The Path To Recovery

Am I an alcoholic? Am I an addict? Certified recovery coach Pamela explains addiction in plain language: a mind that talks you into the first drink, and a body that can't stop once it starts. She covers the neuroscience behind it, from dopamine to the brain's reward system, and why addiction is a real condition, not a lack of willpower or a reason for shame. For anyone questioning their drinking, in early recovery, or trying to understand someone they love. Part of Sobriety 101, a series on living alcohol-free.

Transcript

Hi, Welcome. I'm Pamela, I am a certified recovery coach, Life coach, Recovers coach, And the founder of the I Do Not Drink movement. And today we're going to talk about a beautiful subject, A difficult one. But it's one that brings you a lot of freedom once you understand it. We're here to talk today about addiction, About that very daunting question. Am I an addict? Am I an alcoholic? In 2009, I had to ask myself this question, And of course, My reasoning told me, No, Of course not, Because I felt such shame. And stigma attached to it. Addiction was a term that felt so very heavy. And in fact, Once you understand what it is, It becomes your path to freedom. Addiction is simply put a process of mind and body that keeps you stuck doing a cycle that you would like to escape. When a person experiences negative consequences from doing something such as drinking or using or a particular kind of behavior, And they want to change it because it brings consequences, Because it brings pain. And they decide with their head, Right, To change it. And then they try. Somehow they changed their minds. And they find that they can't. And they do it again. And then they say they're gonna change it, And then they can't. And they'd do it again. It's a loop right? Addiction is any process that you want to change because it brings you pain and you try and you can't. And you're stuck. It is that simple. In the rooms that saved my tail in 2009, I learned that addiction It's a process of mind and body. These two parts are very important to understand. So let's talk about the mind. The mind of a person that's struggling with addiction is the mind that presents the actual thing that we want to avoid as the choice and the solution. I have a mind that in one breath wakes up in the morning and says, Oh, I'm never going to drink again. Because it You know, Fill in the blank. It caused this and this and this and that. And I mean it. You've meant it, Right? And then somehow, Whether it's a few hours later or a few days later, I find myself in my same voice with this same brain that said, I'm never going to do it. I find myself changing my mind or rather I think I'm changing my mind. The voice that I hear presents it as a great idea and it tells me the story that it will be the last time. That this time it's going to be different, That I'm going to be able to stop at one and I never can. Because the minute that my brain gives me the justification, It gives me the pass to have that first drink. I have a mind that cannot keep me away from that first drink. That's the first piece of defining addiction. Then the second part kicks in. And that is my body. I have a body that once it begins drinking, Cannot stop. We call that a craving, This craving to drink, This obsessive craving. Very very deep powerful longing to bring in that thing into my body the very thing that I know causes pain. So it's a bit of a cycle of insanity, This addiction thing, Right? Because I have a mind that will not allow me to moderate or say no. I have a mind that will do anything. To get me to that first drink. And then I have a body that cannot stay stopped. At that first drink. It wants more. And it gets more. More, More, More. And so now it's a cycle, A mind that cannot keep me away and a body that cannot, You know, Just do one. Or two, Or even three. And so I'm stuck. So understanding that that was what was happening. To me. When I arrived into this very difficult scenario where I had to look at this straight in the eye and look at it and look at my life and look at my evidence, It actually brought me relief. I thought. There was something wrong with me and I thought I was a shitty person. I thought I was a bad mother. I thought I was a bad friend. I thought I was just a bad human because I kept doing the thing that I said I wasn't going to do and hurting me and hurting others. And when I understood addiction, As plainly and simply as we now can understand something as depression, Right? There's a neurochemistry that goes with it. There's a pattern. It's a real condition. There was clarity. Because we don't turn around and say to someone who's struggling with depression, Oh my god, What's wrong with you? Just be happy. Look at everything you've got! Get roof, This, That, You've got your breath, Be happy. We don't, We don't do that. And yet somehow. . . To the person that's struggling with addiction, We do say, What is wrong with you? Quit drinking or drink less. Just don't do it. What's wrong with you? With a person inside. Like myself. Can attest that we try. We try. We just don't know how to. And so understanding that this has an age. And it's called addiction, That there is a neurobiology piece because we explain the mind simply by the fact that it whispers and it gets you and there's an actual neurobiology. It's the process of brain chemistry, Of the dopamine, Of the tagging of the system, Of the survival mechanisms, Of our executive prefrontal cortex, Which is the one that makes the decision going offline. When the reward system is screaming for that thing that normally works. I explain all about it in my course, The Craving Crusher, The Dopamine Dragon. Go get it. There is a neurobiology, But what it boils down to is I have this thing, This pattern in my brain. It's just what it is. It's not my fault, But it is mine, Right? I have to take responsibility that this is present. It's this wiring and. Also has to do. With solving something. Because at the end of the day, The drink and the drug has been my medicine. It has worked. It has kept me afloat in my life. It has been my arm floaties, My lifesaver. And so when someone says, Quit drinking, It's very much like saying, Oh, You're still in that ocean, Right? Just quit drinking. Give me the lifesaver. And I always say no. No, That's not how it works. We need to learn to swim. Addiction is a beautiful thing to understand because it presents with clarity. The actual process that is happening. And I want to say, For me. Because the opposite of addiction is that space of recovery, That space of reconnection. With myself. With my life, With the ocean. I'm learning to swim. And sobriety is the way that we do it. But sobriety is not. About fighting against the addiction. Sobriety is about fighting. Our evolution and to create a new identity so that you learn to swim. And you no longer need that lifesaver. I talk about that in a different video. I'm so grateful that you're here. I'm so grateful that you're asking the hard questions. If this is your thing. If you have a mind that will say anything in your own voice to get you to that first drink and or drug and you have a body that cannot stay stopped and you keep betraying yourself over and over and over again, There is nothing wrong with you. You're not weak. You're not dumb. Lacking willpower? You're struggling with addiction. It's very simple. And so now you seek the solution. Because when you understand your problem clearly, Then you can plug into the solution. Clearly as well. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having the courage to do this work. And thank you for showing up for yourself. Because these hard questions are the ones that actually change your life. So let's keep talking. You've got this. You really do.