Oh Niamh… sometimes your words seem to find the exact place in me I’ve been trying not to touch. 💚
There You Are completely undid me.
I cried for the person I loved, for what we shared, for what I thought might still lie ahead of us, and for the painful reality of having to say goodbye when some part of my heart still doesn’t want to.
“Perhaps recognition is not always destination.”
Those words went straight into the deepest part of my grief.
Because how do you let go of someone who felt like there you are?
Someone whose arrival felt less like meeting and more like recognition.
Someone who became woven into your hopes, your everyday thoughts, and a future you quietly began to imagine.
There is such a particular kind of pain in still loving someone you can no longer reach. In knowing you cannot make them stay. In having nowhere for that love to go, except to slowly learn how to carry it differently.
I’m not sure I know how to let go yet. Perhaps, for now, I’m simply learning to stop holding on quite so tightly.
And maybe letting go isn’t about erasing the love or pretending it didn’t matter. Maybe it is allowing myself to grieve what I desperately wanted to keep, while accepting that some people can change us profoundly and still be meant to continue their journey without us.
That hurts more than I can say.
But somewhere inside the sadness, your words gave me the smallest sense that perhaps I can release what I cannot keep, without having to deny how deeply I loved it.
Thank you, Niamh. This one found me when I needed it most. 💚🙏🏽