Meditating after an assault or rape presents more than a few unique problems,
And many meditations follow a similar technique that,
If triggering to the survivor,
Can make them feel like the world of meditation does not belong to them.
I would like to identify several barriers that survivors may face and offer some suggestions for how to make meditation a practice that may no longer exclude assault survivors.
Because I will be discussing complications and triggers,
This talk may,
At some point,
Become uncomfortable or triggering.
Should this happen,
Stop the recording immediately and use what coping mechanisms are most successful for you.
Many meditations have,
Somewhere in the beginning,
A request or directive that you close your eyes.
Some survivors are immensely uncomfortable doing this,
And as a result,
Their meditation ends before it begins.
If you have been triggered by a teacher who made eye closing feel mandatory,
You can find a new meditation or a new teacher.
If you would like to continue the meditation,
Keep your eyes open and trained on a safe,
Fixed spot.
Many teachers do not have a history with assault or understand that closing the eyes in a moment of vulnerability is not feasible for all.
Likewise,
There is power in entering into a seated position that aligns the chakras.
Many teachers instruct their listeners to adopt this position because of its known benefits.
Depending on the nature of a person's past experience,
This position may not be at all comfortable,
And in the case of sexual assault or rape,
Can put stress and pressure on the areas of attack.
All bodies have differences,
Even when assault is not an issue.
If assuming a certain position is blocking you from meditating,
Try doing the meditations that are interesting to you in whatever position feels most comfortable.
Working with the breath and using breathing exercises in meditation is absolutely vital to the success of many recordings.
When I talk with other survivors,
One of the first problems they bring up in meditating is breathing.
Generalized anxiety and anxiety caused as a result of post-traumatic stress disorder can alter a person's breathing at any point of the day.
These breathing changes can cause hyperventilation,
Which in turn increases anxiety.
Many survivors learn in therapy that breathing and anxiety are permanently linked,
And they are trained to focus on breathing as a coping technique.
While it makes sense,
Then,
That meditation would help a survivor with their breathing,
This is not always the case.
In stressing that the listener breathe a certain way or at a certain time,
An important component of their trauma coping is brought to the forefront and turned into a centralized focal point.
The attention can come completely away from the meditation itself,
And the survivor can be triggered into panicking.
In this situation,
I have found it helpful to ignore the breathing instructions and continue breathing in a way that is comfortable to me.
Being present in your body and using your own being as a healing source is perhaps one of the worst situations for an assault survivor.
It is a powerful technique with unmistakable effectiveness,
As long as your body isn't itself a traumatizing trigger.
The nature of assault involves a significant portion of the human body.
All of our parts are connected,
And assault can reverberate through much of our anatomy.
Being instructed to focus on an area that is a trigger point can make or break a person's experience in meditation.
It can trigger anxiety,
Panic,
PTSD,
And completely shut down not only the meditative experience,
But the survivor's whole day.
Chakra meditations,
In particular,
Can be difficult or impossible for some survivors.
Due to the location of the lowermost chakras,
Being instructed to send energy there,
Build energy at those points,
Or focus on feeling those areas can simply be intolerable.
Many therapists would not suggest that a sexual assault or rape survivor focus on and intently pay attention to the parts of their bodies that were most injured.
These meditations,
To many survivors,
Can feel like an additional assault.
If you are at a point in your comfort level to do one of these meditations and ignore the sections that deal with those parts of the body,
This can be one solution.
If you are not at that place,
I would suggest avoiding chakra meditations,
As well as meditations that involve the words body scan or progressive relaxation.
There is astonishing power in working with the chakras,
And I mean no slight to those who do.
However,
There is also astonishing power in taking care of yourself and identifying the actions and practices that make your survival harder.
Lastly,
There can be feelings of shame and inadequacy among survivors who find they cannot do meditation or cannot do important aspects of meditation practice.
Here is a technique,
Science,
And art form used around the world with great success,
And because of something that happened to the survivor,
They may be unable to do it.
Meditation can then feel like an additional part of their life that an assault has taken away from them,
As well as the robbery of a healing tool they should be able to use in their treatment.
There are enough barriers and blockages in this situation to make a survivor give up on meditation entirely.
Ultimately,
It is the choice of any survivor,
Whether they pursue meditation or not.
To those who have decided not to,
I have the utmost respect for the choices they make in order to continue surviving and coping.
For those who would like to continue trying,
I would offer a few suggestions.
There are millions of options for meditating that include traditional meditations from multiple cultures,
Music,
Talks,
And courses.
If one type of meditation does not work for you,
Keep trying until you find your place.
Equally,
There are millions of teachers.
If the voice,
Music,
Or content from one does not work,
Keep looking until you find the ones that do.
Meditation is an optional activity.
You do not need to pay attention to all of the words,
Nor do you need to do everything that is said.
Learn to carve out what is useful,
Safe,
And comfortable for you.
You are the one who is meditating,
Using this app,
And ultimately in charge.
The teacher is presenting the meditation to you.
You have the power to listen,
Turn it off,
Find another one,
Sit or lie in the position of your choice,
Start,
Stop,
And use what is only comfortable for you.
And you can do it all with your eyes wide open.
