What is actually happening when we feel like we aren't where we should be?
When we haven't chucked enough items off the eternal to-do list?
When we haven't become who we were supposed to be by now?
When we know that we should quiet the mind,
Live in the present more often,
But that voice won't stop repeating itself over and over and running us over with all of the thoughts we've heard on repeat about this and that and don't forget about this and we really should focus on growing into that and I can't believe this person is behaving like this.
It's exhausting and we may not even be getting anything done at all because it doesn't stop or constantly being pushed and pulled by inner voices and outer influences to go and do and be something,
Someone.
It's like being dragged by an impatient adult figure that constantly tells you it's never enough,
It's never enough.
Keep going,
Keep reaching,
Keep trying,
But it's never ending and can you even remember the last time you moved forward from curiosity?
Can you feel what it felt like to move toward something from a yes?
It might be that in order to do so we need to remember to soften,
If only it were that easy.
It can be though,
With a little time and a little practice and some part of you can allow you to see what would happen if you loosened your grip.
What would happen if you noticed those thoughts and said thank you so much.
I know this is important to you and just for right now,
Just for this moment,
Let's tuck that away for later and allow ourselves to float down from the mind into the body.
By beginning to notice the breath come in without even trying,
Just notice when you breathe in what moves first in your body?
Where does the breath land?
And with the breath,
What inside of you is capable of letting go in this moment?
And then noticing that motion,
Inviting in still more noticing,
Allowing yourself to feel the motion of letting go,
The intentional loosening,
Releasing,
Unraveling further,
Allow yourself to feel the weight of your body and notice the space all around it.
All of the places that press and the muscles that pull.
Notice what draws your attention.
Notice what wants you to follow and in this moment,
Know that you don't have to.
You can instead stay,
Stay right here.
Allow your body to meet the surface beneath it,
Holding it,
Supporting it.
Really feel the press of it,
The way that it receives you and not as something to fix,
Not as something to shape,
Just as something to be with here now.
And there might be a thought or a sensation calling you to pay attention.
Pay attention to me now,
It says,
A thought trying to tug you forward and you just noticing and deciding.
Noticing a tightening or loosening in the jaw now and remembering that you don't have to chase your thoughts.
And just for now,
You don't have to answer the things coming up to distract you from this moment.
Right here,
Just notice what wants your response and let it pass.
Decide instead to drop in,
To sink in lower,
Drop in slower.
Feel the breath inside of your ribs,
The way it presses gently out and then returns.
Let your attention rest there.
Notice the shape of your spine,
Allowing it to be what it is,
A quiet line inside of you,
Always there,
Always supporting.
Notice the way sensation moves through you,
How it reaches and falls back,
How it pulls your attention and pauses.
And still you remain unmoved,
Deep in your body,
Constantly present.
And from this place,
You realize you are not what pulls at you.
You are not the flicker of images in your mind or the noise or the story.
You are the space those things move through and you are allowed to choose stillness over and over again,
Feeling that there is a center here and it's not a place that you find,
It's a place you remember,
A place you are.
Stay with it,
Even if just for a moment.
Feel what it's like to not move away.
This is the ground inside you and it's holding you.
Let yourself feel how the body responds when you're not moving toward anything,
When you're simply with yourself.
Feel that space inside your chest,
Not as something hollow.
But as something whole,
Lived in,
Well known,
Well cared for by you,
Well loved.
And let the breath move all the way down through the belly,
Spilling out slowly and rising again in a quiet rhythm,
Never asking more than this moment.
You don't have to reach,
You don't have to respond.
The body is allowed to just stay here in this moment and then the next.
And from this place,
You get to choose when to move,
When to speak,
When to shift.
Not because something outside of you demanded it,
But because something within you offers it.
And this is what it feels like to live from your own rhythm,
To stay with yourself,
Even when the world moves so quickly.
Even when sensation swells up internally,
Even when the pull outside of you is strong.
You are not the pull.
You are the place that chooses.
Choose to land here,
Allowing everything else to settle and to come all the way down and all the way in.
And allow the body to live from this place and this rhythm.
Let it decide to move toward and into whatever it's inspired to.
Let it decide to move towards the things that bring peace,
Towards the things that light it up and inspire a curiosity about what comes next.
And the more you return here,
Not just by effort,
But by sinking in,
But by remembering your center.
This place that holds you is always waiting.
And every time you return,
It becomes easier to stay,
Easier to live and move from this place.
Only moving towards life when it feels like a yes.
No longer being pushed and pulled all day by the internal.
And external influences that will always be there.
But moving from your center into and towards you,
Towards your purpose and into the life that more closely resembles this place.
That will always be waiting for you to return.
