ReClaiming Yourself: Transforming People Pleasing into Thriving Relationships

On the third day of our journey together, I will help you understand why Inner Child work is so helpful for people who struggle with People Pleasing. We will dive into why reuniting with your Inner Child is necessary, how it helps, and how we can continue to harness that relationship to nurture our holistic growth, and heal our People Pleasing patterns. I will guide you through a visualization in your Sacred Safe Space, to reunite with your Inner Child in a way that feels safe, authentic, and nurturing for you. I’ll help you create the container to have a meaningful and therapeutic conversation with the younger version of you, so you can gain some clarity and soften into your innocence. I’ll leave you with a journal prompt to keep your momentum moving until the next session.

On the fourth day of our journey together, I will introduce the idea of Self - Forgiveness. What it is, what it isn’t, why it’s imperative for healing work around People Pleasing, and how to access it. I will introduce a couple of techniques that have helped me greatly along my journey, including the simple and profound Hawaiian tradition of the Ho’oponopono. You will be guided through a Self-Forgiveness exercise, followed by a journey back to your Sacred Safe Space to receive a water-based cleansing and healing, so you can start afresh after this experience. I will leave you with a journal prompt to help foster the reflection of your forgiveness experience.

On the fifth day of our journey together, I will introduce the idea of Re-Parenting your Inner Child. Re-Parenting is the act of giving yourself what you didn’t receive as a child. Our parents/caregivers did the best they could with what they had. But of course they had their own issues - they’re imperfect humans. The stories, lessons, and ways of treating ourselves that we learned from our early caregivers will perpetuate unless we decide to consciously choose differently, and put different practices into action. You get to be your own parent now as a resourced adult. I will teach you how through first introducing you to the 4 phases of Re-Parenting. We will go back into your Sacred Safe Space, where I will facilitate a conversation with your Inner Child so you can discover exactly how they need to be Re-Parented. I’ll leave you with a journal prompt so you can discover how to take what you learned and put it into daily action in your life, to help you move from People Pleasing into Thriving Relationships - starting with yourself.

On the sixth day of this journey together, I will introduce you to the reality of your Inner Critic, living rent free in your most prime real estate. We will discover together how our brains are like computers, and can be re-programmed to be on your team, rather than your enemy. I will teach you a metaphor to help you understand why re-wiring the Inner Critic’s messaging is so important. We will get into how the unconscious and the conscious aspects of the mind dictate our behavior. This is the key to taking control back of our lives, rather than falling prey to Self Sabotage and patterns that somehow perpetuate despite your best intentions to turn them around. I will guide you through a journal exercise to help you get clear on the messages you’re receiving on the regular from your Inner Critic. We will take a guided journey back in time to understand how the Inner Critic got these ideas, and how they have learned the messages they share with us on repeat. At the end of the guided visualization, you will receive a deeply loving healing, with wisdom as to how to re-write these messages and turn them into inner dialogue that feels nurturing and uplifting. I’ll teach you how to begin systematically re-wiring your mind, so you can put an end to Self Sabotage, and take one step closer to releasing your People Pleasing tendencies. This will be your journal homework, along with some great opportunities to get creative. Your Inner Child is dancing for joy right about now!

On the seventh day of our journey together, I’ll guide you into the discovery of your own Needs & Values. This is how we learn to care for ourselves, so we can care for others sustainably, in a way that doesn’t bring exhaustion or burnout to us! I will take you through an exercise to identify your Values, and place them in order of importance. We will then go back into our Sacred Safe Spaces, visualization style, so we can receive messages and symbols around each of our identified Core Values - so they can be more quickly integrated into the unconscious mind - the invisible captain. I’ll leave you with a journal prompt which is still my daily journal prompt many days of the week. This will be a go-to for you to keep you on track, whenever you are feeling lost, or getting sucked back into old ways.

On the eighth day of our journey together, we will discover how identifying our Triggers, Bottom Lines, and Boundaries will greatly help us recover from People Pleasing. I will teach you how to identify your Triggers, in order to create your Bottom Lines - this is the most helpful way I know of to learn through experience how to create healthy Boundaries for yourself. Once you learn what Triggers you into ways of acting that are damaging to you, you know what situations/people/places to avoid, and where to place protective Boundaries around yourself. This is how we stay on the path to recovery. This is how we learn how to be on our own team, rather than our own enemy. This is how we learn what Self Respect and Self Compassion look like. I’ll take you on a guided visualization back into your Sacred Safe Space, where you can learn how to create healthy Boundaries for yourself. You will be left with a journal prompt to deepen your integration around what you just learned, until we meet again for the next session.

On the ninth day of our journey together, we will begin to bring all of these pieces together. We will learn how to bring our unconscious stories about Love to the light so we can Re-Write them. I will guide you into identifying your current limiting beliefs around relationships, feeling them in your body, and traveling back in time to remember when you first felt that way. We will then take a guided visualization journey to heal and Re-Frame those old stories. I’ll lead you into some in depth journaling around the discoveries you gained through this visualization. I think by now you already feel your Relationships beginning to transform. Can you feel it?

On the tenth and final day of our journey together, it’s time to set our sights on where we’re headed after all this brilliant work we’ve been doing. And that destination, of course, is Thriving Relationship land! We will focus on how we get there (both with ourselves and with others) by learning how to stay true to our authentic selves, and therefore stay on the path that is most nourishing and fulfilling for us. When we learn how to stay true to ourselves - no matter what the circumstances, this means that our self relationship is thriving, and therefore the relationships around us will be thriving too. Because it will align. The problem comes when we scatter our energy. When we are busy trying to be everything for everyone - which tends to be what happens for People Pleasers, then nothing can be in alignment, because it’s just all over the place. There’s no staying true to our authentic selves, because we’re too busy and exhausted from trying to be what we perceive everyone else wants us to be. I like to lean on my Internal Guidance System to stay true to my authentic self, and I will teach you how to do the same during this final lesson together.