So take a moment to allow your eyes to close and allow yourself to begin to relax.
As you begin to comfortably fall asleep.
I don't know whether you'll drift asleep faster to the sound of my voice or whether it'll be to the spaces between my words.
And as you comfortably drift to sleep I'm just going to tell this bedtime story in the background.
And this is a story about Rachel and she's in a cafe humming quietly with life.
There's gentle flickering candle lights within this cafe and the world outside the cafe is cold and still.
And she can watch that world through the large cafe windows.
But inside the cafe is warm and comforting with the gentle murmur of voices.
The soft clinking of cutlery and crockery and hissing of brewing coffee with that aroma of the coffee filling the cafe.
And Rachel is sitting with a friend Sarah at a small wooden table enjoying a warm cup of drink.
Engaging in gentle conversation.
And Sarah tells Rachel that she's reluctant and nervous about attending a Christmas party.
She says that it's just too much for her to handle.
She's too nervous mixing and mingling with the others that will be there.
Rachel asks her what is it about the party that worries her so much.
She explains about how it's like everyone else seems to have their own script,
Seems to know what they're doing,
What they need to say.
And she gets lost in her fears.
She doesn't know how to stand,
When she should laugh or smile.
She gets overwhelmed watching everyone else trying to figure out how to be normal.
She says with quotation marks.
Rachel reassures Sarah that she's not broken and encourages her that she doesn't have to be perfect.
And she also doesn't have to attend if she doesn't want to.
And Sarah shares that when she attends events she always feels like she's wearing a mask.
Her voice gets caught in her throat,
Her hands fidget.
She feels like everyone's going to see through that mask and know that she's just faking it.
From time to time they gaze out the window at the world passing by before continuing on in conversation.
And the cafe encourages a deep sense of relaxation as they continue talking.
And Sarah shares she just wishes she didn't feel like this.
She wishes that she could be just like everyone else,
So confident and carefree.
Everyone else seems to find it so easy.
Rachel shares that perhaps everyone else isn't as confident as they seem.
It could be that everyone stood around sharing a mask,
Worrying that everyone's going to see through their mask.
Sarah shares that she doesn't want anxiety to control her.
She doesn't want to restrict her life because of her fears and worries.
She wants to work out how to be more comfortable attending things like this party.
And Rachel shares that she'll come along with her if she wants.
They can do this together.
And then there's someone there who she can turn to and engage with and use for an excuse if she needs to leave or just wants to engage in conversation rather than standing around,
Perhaps on her own after enjoying their drinks.
They wrap up warm and head out of the cafe walking together steadily through the town outside,
Heading down to a nearby park and walking into that park,
The air crisp and cool,
Leaves crunching underfoot.
They sit down on a bench beneath the most beautiful grand oak tree.
The bench is initially cold when they sit down and they continue talking with each other.
And Rachel says to Sarah,
Why don't we try something together,
Something to help you relax.
Just take a moment to close your eyes,
Rachel says.
And just begin to breathe in,
Counting to seven.
That's it.
And then breathe out,
Counting to eleven.
That's it,
All the way.
With your eyes closed,
You can listen to me as you keep breathing in,
Counting to seven,
And breathing out,
Counting to eleven.
And notice how as you breathe in and out in that way,
The muscles in your body begin to relax,
Your mind begins to relax.
And while you continue to relax deeply and comfortably into this experience,
Noticing the way that the air flows into your nostrils and out through your mouth,
The temperature of that air,
The ebb and flow of the air,
You can imagine yourself at that party,
And I'm there with you as we walk into the party.
And you meet the different people,
And you're breathing slowly and gently before you head into the party,
And then while you're in the party,
Keeping your mind slow and calm,
Hearing the gentle hum of conversations around you,
Continuing to breathe in this calm way,
Your body relaxing,
As you engage with the different people at the party,
Before getting to the end of the party,
Still breathing in this way,
Saying your goodbyes and heading home,
And Rachel quietens down as Sarah's aware of the distant sound of the park around her,
The rustling leaves,
The birds in the trees,
And as her experience comes to an end,
She opens her eyes,
Feeling somehow calmer,
Like a weight has been lifted or something has shifted gently within her,
And the two of them stand up and continue walking,
Walking along side by side,
Seeming to match each other's steps,
And a few days later,
They meet up again,
Only this time,
Rachel has agreed to help Sarah to learn a few conversation skills,
She says you know people love to talk about themselves,
All you need to do is just ask them a question,
That they can answer with more than just yes or no,
And then let them tell their story,
And just nod along and make noises as if you're listening,
And show some interest in what they're saying,
And Sarah shares but what if I can't think of anything to say,
What if I freeze up,
And Rachel says well that's why we're going to practice,
And they sit down together,
And Rachel starts to guide Sarah through a role play,
Taking on different personas,
Someone from work,
A stranger,
Perhaps a partner of someone,
Who Sarah has never met before,
Someone Sarah knows very well,
Sarah initially asks questions in a more hesitant way,
But begins to become more comfortable,
She asks what you do for fun outside of work,
How do you enjoy your time,
When you're not in work,
What have you enjoyed most over this last year,
And the more she practices the easier she finds it,
To come up with different questions she can ask,
And Rachel shares that sometimes,
Someone just won't engage that much and that's okay,
And just say it was great to meet them and say goodbye and move on,
And she continues to practice,
Guided by Rachel,
Exploring the ebb and flow of conversation,
Rachel reassures Sarah that she's doing incredibly well,
And that you don't have to be perfect,
The most important thing is that you are you,
And after a while,
They head off again and head home,
Sarah feels more confident,
Now she feels she's gained a few more skills,
And eventually the night of the party arrives,
Sarah still feels nervous,
But excited to see how she does,
Rachel meets Sarah and they head off for the party together,
They stand outside the venue,
Sarah grounding herself,
Preparing herself for this party,
She begins to do that deep,
Comfortable breathing,
She begins to tell herself that she's got this,
As Rachel looks over and smiles at her,
Before the two of them head into the party,
Smelling the scent of the food in here,
The drinks,
The sound of music,
The hum of conversation,
Sarah focusing even deeper on her breathing,
Rachel showing support,
They head over and grab some drinks,
Before moving towards others to begin to meet them and interact with those here,
And Rachel stays close but lets Sarah take the lead,
Only stepping in if Sarah needs her to,
And with a flutter of hesitation,
A slight nervousness she might get something wrong,
Sarah asks the first person an open ended question,
And seemingly effortlessly,
Conversation begins to flow without it being forced,
She then approaches a small group of colleagues,
Who she's not particularly close to and doesn't talk to them very often,
She smiles at them and says hello,
She asks them how their evening's going,
And one of the colleagues engages in conversation,
Saying how well the evening's going and how much they like the decorations,
Another colleague then joins in with a story about how they accidentally spilled some mulled wine on the tablecloth earlier,
And that was before she'd started drinking,
The colleagues laugh,
Sarah feels a part of this group,
She forgets for a moment how anxious she thought she would be in this situation,
As the conversation continues,
Sarah notices that some of these people she's talking to aren't really that intimidating,
Some seem to laugh and fidget and stumble over words and make errors,
Just the same as she does,
Some seem to be as nervous as she is,
She had just never really been calm enough in her mind to see that,
To see the experiences of others,
She was always focused on her own experience and her own nerves,
And she finds that conversations are so much easier to have when instead of being worried about trying to think of how much to say to people and what to say to people,
You just listen a lot more than you speak,
Let others talk and share their stories and their laughter,
And as the music continues to play through the room,
Many of Sarah's colleagues begin gathering and moving towards the dance floor,
She watches as nine of those female colleagues take to the dance floor in their bright dresses,
Twirling and swirling with the music,
Almost letting themselves go and being lost in the music,
Becoming one with the sounds and the rhythms,
And Sarah feels no longing at all to join them on the dance floor,
She's proud of the steps she's taken to engage in conversations,
Dancing is a step too far,
But she can enjoy the dancing from afar,
Rachel comes over to Sarah and says they look like they're having so much fun as they smile and laugh with each other,
Just observing,
Enjoying this time at the party,
The music flowing through those dancing,
And as the night settles down and people seem to be calming down,
The occasional person still being on the dance floor but most people finding small little groups sitting,
Talking quietly,
It's evident that the party has been a success,
That Sarah has been a success,
And that now the evening is drawing to an end,
And Rachel talks with Sarah,
Asking her about the party,
Her thoughts on it,
And she shares that she still isn't particularly keen on parties,
She wouldn't choose to go to parties unless it's a very special occasion,
Or a one-off occasion,
But at least she now knows that for a short period of time she can do this,
She can attend a party,
Engage with people,
And then go home at the end of the day,
For a long time,
And as the party comes to an end and many of the people have said their goodbyes and left,
Sarah and Rachel say their goodbyes before heading out into the cold night air,
And heading home and while walking home the quiet now feeling more profound having come out of the party,
Rachel shares how proud she is of Sarah,
Sarah shares how proud she is of herself,
They reach Sarah's front door,
Stand together for a while talking in the cold sharp air say goodnight to each other as Sarah opens her door stands in the doorway watching Rachel walking away before closing that door and Rachel heads home inside the house Sarah turns on the Christmas tree and a couple of lamps sits down in a chair enjoying this period of quiet,
Cosy warmth she rests there for a little while before going and changing into pyjamas,
Grabbing herself a cup of hot chocolate she receives a message from Rachel to say she's home safely she responds thanking her for tonight before sitting there relaxing,
Drinking that hot chocolate feeling the warmth of that hot chocolate spread through her body sinking deeper and more profoundly into relaxation and then heading up to bed enjoying the feeling of resting beneath the covers and relaxing deeply and soundly asleep into slumberland slumberland
