Recovering Your Radiance After A Break Up

For those going through a breakup with a friend, lover, or family member, these are some tools and guidance to support you on your journey of letting go and recovering your radiance and joy. If you are feeling lost or empty, this track hopes to find you.

Transcript

Those of us who give everything to relationships often find ourselves incredibly depleted at the end. And we need to find a way to replenish what's been depleted. It is a beautiful thing to give your energy and your love and your all to a relationship. But unfortunately, When the other person does not mirror or return the same amount of energy, It leaves us depleted. It leaves us feeling empty. And then at the end of a relationship, When we feel abandoned, Whether it was us who left or them, We also feel that the thing that began the relationship, The thing that attracted this person to you has been drained out of you like liquid gold. So just know that those of us who have the radiance to fill someone else with light, Even when we have been depleted, We can always replenish that radiance. The first thing to do is to grieve. The first thing to do is to accept. And that is, To me, What grieving is, Is acceptance. Accepting what is. Accepting the truth. Of what is now. That is grief. And once we've moved through grief, Which could take a while. We start to. Revisit the ways in which we love ourselves and find joy. For me, This is through dance, Through yoga, Through my rituals and my practice that involves meditation and candle magic and affirmations and gratitude. I think gratitude is an incredibly important element. And all of those things begin to bring me back to myself. And that is where my radiance lies. So in order to find it or to reclaim it or to replenish it, We must come back to ourselves. And disconnect the source. And in many ways, We cocoon ourselves in this care of ourselves in these practices until we begin to feel strong again. And then perhaps we incorporate a workout routine. A healthy eating routine. Perhaps we figure out how we can cut back on certain medications, Especially allergies. What are the things in your life that are making things more difficult for you? And how can you remove those things or cut back on them? When we are in a relationship, We often forget to tend to ourselves. So this is a practice that I use every time I move through any kind of breakup, Whether it's with a friend or a lover or a family member, Which I have experienced all of those. And what I remind myself is that God is inside me, But I have to often shed the layers of sometimes abuse, Sometimes betrayal, The abandonment I often feel, The rejection. We have to move through these terribly triggering and painful feelings so that we can get to the part where we don't have to do that anymore. Only way to get past it is through absolutely there is no exchange there is no replacement for doing the work right and everybody loves to say the work right but truly the work is that of an ego death the work is that of a healer on oneself the work is that of a an absolver a forgiver there is so much self-love and self-soothing and regulation to be done in the acceptance of loss. The acceptance that somebody is still out there and they do not want to be with you or to be your friend anymore. Sit with it, It's difficult. But it is life. And one of the reasons that you are here listening to this talk is because you have made it this far. And so what I ask you to do is to sit in gratitude because I promise you there is something to be grateful for in your life. If you have suffered deep trauma, Please know that ideally you are in a much better place now. And it doesn't mean that traumas won't happen again and suffering will not occur, But that you feel that there is a sense of balance to your experiences, That you have felt just as much ecstatic joy and radiance as you have suffering. And here's something to think about as well. Without the suffering, We cannot feel the radiance and the joy. It is just so important to remember the yin and the yang. And so if you are doing this, If you are rebuilding after a loss, I want you to know that you are doing amazing and it's going to be okay. And I love you. And I want to take a moment. Would you put your hand on your heart? And I want you to say, I love you and your name. And I want you to sit with that. And feel it. I love you. And now take one more moment and say, I love you. I am listening. Remember that you are the source and you are everything that you need. Blessings.