To get started,
I encourage you to take a few nice deep breaths,
Lengthening your inhale and exhale as you get settled wherever you're sitting or laying down.
If you're comfortable,
You can close your eyes,
Letting your mind be curious,
Noticing any mental imagery that might naturally come to mind throughout this guided meditation and prayer.
Before we spend time with our song,
I encourage you to bring to mind a clear image of the part of you that's feeling weary,
Any part of you that longs for God but feels disconnected from him at the same time.
Picturing a part of us like this can help keep us from diving headfirst into the perspective of the part of us that's feeling these weighty things.
It gives us a different perspective,
A different viewpoint,
Noticing what is happening for the part,
Seeing that weariness and longing from a different vantage point that's not fully consumed in the weariness itself.
So taking a nice deep breath,
See what it's like to view this part of you in front of you,
Noticing what comes to mind,
How you envision their weariness,
Their longing,
Any sense of being stuck,
Frustrated,
Discouraged.
As I read through this song,
I invite you to be curious about how these words might resonate with this part of you,
Noticing if it feels comforting for the steps of your soul to know they are not alone in their experience.
These are ancient words that have been spoken and sung by countless other people through thousands of years,
Words that have been preserved as part of our faith tradition.
This is Psalm 42 from the NIV.
As the deer pants for streams of water,
So my soul pants for you,
My God.
My soul thirsts for God,
For the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
While people say to me all day long,
Where is your God?
These things I remember as I pour out my soul,
How I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the mighty one,
With shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng.
Why my soul,
Are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
For I will yet praise him,
My Savior and my God.
My soul is downcast within me,
Therefore I will remember you from the land of Jordan,
The heights of Hermon,
From Mount Mazar.
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls,
All your waves and breakers have swept over,
All your waves and breakers have swept over me.
By day the Lord directs his love,
At night his song is with me,
A prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God my rock,
Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
Oppressed by the enemy?
My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me,
Saying to me all day long,
Where is your God?
Why my soul,
Are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
For I will yet praise him,
My Savior and my God.
This psalm is a well-known one,
With its imagery of a deer,
A felt thirst that we can resonate with,
That so well describes how the depths of our soul can feel when longing for God but feeling disconnected from him.
Keeping your eyes closed,
You can consider how these words might be resonating with the part of you that is weary,
The depth of your soul that longs for God.
Do these words connect with the experience of this part of you?
Do they feel comforting at all?
The refrain in this psalm describing the soul as downcast is also sometimes translated as cast down,
In despair,
Or depressed.
This Hebrew word most literally means to appear to have dissolved away or to be dissolved.
The richness of this imagery gives us the picture of feeling as though our soul has broken down,
Melted,
Crumbled,
Withered,
Appearing to have dissolved away.
I love how this psalm holds together both the reality of experiencing this,
A withered soul that seems to have dissolved,
Alongside longing for God as the one we put our hope into.
This does not shame us into getting our theology right or performing correct spiritual behavior.
Instead,
It creates space for the depths of our soul to be right where they are and acknowledge with honesty right where we are,
In the midst of our longing for God,
Wanting to draw near to him,
But feeling dissolved in our being.
In the second verse,
The Hebrew most literally reads,
My soul thirsts for you,
When shall I come and see the face of God?
It seems there is a hope that the downcast soul would come to life in God's presence,
Before his face.
As you envision the part of you that is weary and downcast,
Feeling as though they are dissolved,
I invite you to consider what it would be like to imagine this part of you being brought before God,
Encountering the radiance of his face,
His presence.
If this part of you doesn't seem open to this just yet,
I encourage you to be respectful and curious about this and make some time to reflect on what this part of you might need for this to feel safe in the future.
If this part of you is open to this,
Let your mind be curious about what this might look like.
How would the downcast,
Dissolved soul be revived,
Like a withered plant given water and sunlight?
What might that shift look like going from thirst and longing to being quenched and at rest?
How does your mind envision this part of you going from weariness to a space where they are embraced by God's presence and embracing his embrace?
Taking a few nice deep breaths,
Let yourself notice what happens inside as you imagine this.
I want to be cautious to note this doesn't dismiss the experience of any part of us.
We're creating space to invite God's presence,
His face,
Into the experience and savor his mercy like a healing balm for the most weary parts of our soul.
Continuing some nice deep breaths,
Let yourself marinate in any ways that this gives you a sense of peace,
A sense of rest.
You can pause this audio if you'd like to spend any more time here before we close with a prayer.
Lord God,
Would you restore life to any part of us that is weary,
Nearly dissolved,
Longing for you?
Would you help the weary parts of us to receive your presence,
Your face,
Your nearness?
Please keep us from withering away in our weariness.
Guard us from feeling like we are drowning and disconnected from you.
Would you give the depths of our soul even the tiniest glimpse of hope and light,
Lifting our downcast face to see yours,
Lifting our soul,
Our spirit,
To be quenched by your mercy and grace.
Amen.
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