Hello my friend,
Welcome to humorously dull history for sleep.
My name is Stephen Dalton and it is my hope that that as I tell you lots of different facts about particular periods in history tonight,
You find me so incredibly boring that you fall asleep very quickly.
And maybe.
.
.
Even with a smile upon your face.
It is humorous history after all.
Tonight I'll tell you the humorously dull history of the Odyssey.
Yes,
The Odyssey.
The story of a clever Greek king,
An angry sea god,
Several terrible travel decisions.
And what may be the longest journey home from work ever recorded.
So,
Just before we get started,
Allow yourself to Settle into this moment.
Leave the day that was behind.
Feel the support.
Of whatever you lie upon.
If your eyes aren't closed yet.
Allow them to close.
Whatever has been.
Has been.
It's history now.
Whatever will be.
Will be.
All you have is this moment.
And my voice.
So allow your curiosity to be a part of this pleasant experience.
As I tell you.
The humorously dull history.
Of the Odyssey.
Part one.
In which nobody is entirely sure.
Who Homer was.
Before we begin talking about the Odyssey.
We need to meet the man who wrote it.
Which presents an immediate problem.
Because we are not entirely sure.
There was one.
Traditionally.
The Odyssey is attributed to Homer.
The ancient Greek poet.
Also credited with the Iliad.
Homer is one of the most influential writers in the history of Western literature.
We know.
Almost nothing definite about him.
This is an impressive combination.
Imagine being so famous that people are still reading your work.
Nearly three thousand years later.
While simultaneously failing to leave behind the sort of basic information required to open a bank account.
Date of birth unknown.
Place of birth.
Several ancient cities argued about it.
Occupation.
Poet,
Presumably.
Address?
Ancient Greece.
Anything more specific?
Excellent.
The traditional image is of Homer as a blind,
Wandering poet.
Ancient writers certainly associated him with blindness.
But whether the historical Homer was actually blind.
Or exactly what sort of historical individual lies behind the name.
Is impossible to establish with confidence.
There is even something called.
.
.
Homeric question.
This is the scholarly debate.
Over who Homer was.
How the poems were composed.
And whether the Iliad and the Odyssey are essentially the work of one extraordinary poet,
Multiple poets,
Or long oral traditions,
Eventually shaped into the forms we know,
People have been arguing about this.
For centuries.
Which feels appropriate.
Homer may be history's first author.
To generate a comment section.
Before anyone knows whether he existed.
What we can't say.
Is that the Odyssey probably took something close to its surviving form around the late 8th or early 7th century BCE.
But the story it tells.
Belongs to a much older imagined past.
This is important.
The Greece of the Odyssey is not simply the everyday Greece of the poet's own time.
The poem looks back.
Toward the world associated.
With the Mycenaean Greeks.
The Bronze Age civilisation that flourished centuries earlier.
Mycenaean palaces had existed at places such as Mycenae.
Pylos Tiryns.
Their world collapsed dramatically around the end of the Bronze Age.
Roughly around 1200 BCE,
Along with several other eastern Mediterranean societies.
By the time the Odyssey emerges centuries later.
Memories of that older heroic age.
Have been preserved.
Or do it.
Embellished.
And carried through generations of storytelling.
So,
The poem is doing something rather familiar.
It is looking backwards as a legendary past.
We do this constantly.
Ask somebody today to imagine the 1950s.
And they may produce.
Cadillacs.
Diners.
Perfectly dressed families.
Elvis.
Milkshakes.
Everyone apparently standing beside a jukebox.
The actual 1950s.
Also contained taxation.
And people waiting for buses.
Memory edits.
Ancient Greeks were not immune.
And before these great stories were fixed in writing.
They existed within a powerful oral tradition.
Poetry could be composed and performed aloud.
By skilled singers.
An early Greek singer-poet might be called an Aeoidas.
While later professional performers of Homeric poetry became known as Rhapsodes.
These performers had an extraordinary task in mind.
They were dealing with enormous poems containing thousands upon thousands of lines.
The Odyssey alone has more than 12,
000 lines in the Greek.
There is no laptop.
No autocue.
No little notification saying you stopped here last time.
The poetic tradition uses repeated phrases and formulaic expressions that fit the meter.
And help support oral composition and performance.
Characters acquire familiar descriptions.
Odysseus is repeatedly associated with cleverness and resourcefulness.
The sea has recurring descriptions.
Dawn repeatedly arrives in recognizable poetic language.
Modern readers sometimes wonder why things are being repeated.
Because nobody listening in 700 BCE could press back 15 seconds.
And Oro's storytelling has a very different rhythm.
Imagine trying to tell a 12,
000 line story.
To an audience.
Without repeating anything.
By hour seven.
Anyway.
The Man.
You remember that man?
Which man?
The clever one?
There are several.
Find Odysseus again.
The Greek alphabet itself was being established during roughly the period in which these poems are thought to have been shaped.
The Greeks adopted their alphabet from Phoenician,
Writing,
Adding important innovations,
Including letters for vowels.
Eventually the epic tradition moves into written form.
And this allows something extraordinary to happen.
A story that has travelled through human voices for generations.
Can now travel through time.
Nearly 3,
000 years later.
Somebody can lie in bed.
Wearing headphones.
And listen to what happened.
When one Greek king had tremendous difficulty getting home.
Human technology has advanced considerably.
The plot of the Odyssey,
Fortunately,
Is very simple.
And I've skirted around it for long enough.
So let's get to the actual story.
And remember.
This is a fictional epic story.
Traditionally attributed to Homer.
And we are not now saying,
This happened.
We are saying.
This is the story the ancient Greeks told.
And the story goes something like this.
Listen carefully,
Because.
.
.
This is the main plot.
There is a king called Odysseus.
He lives on an island called Issica.
He has a wife called Penelope.
And a sun cold.
Telemachus.
That is home.
Remember,
Isaac.
Because Odysseus is going to spend an astonishing amount of time trying to get there.
Before our story begins.
Odysseus has been away fighting in the legendary Trojan War.
You do not need to know the whole Trojan War.
All you need is.
.
.
Greeks?
Troy.
Very long war.
10 years.
Eventually the Greeks win.
And Odysseus thinks.
Excellent.
I shall go home.
Reasonable.
His wife is waiting.
His son is waiting.
He has already been away for a decade.
Gets onto his ship with his men and heads for Ithaca.
And this journey home.
Takes him.
Another 10 years.
That is the Odyssey.
A man trying to get home from work.
Admittedly,
The work was the Trojan War.
Sit still.
20 years from leaving the house to getting back?
There are commuters who will hear this and think of it.
Tuesday.
And the reason it takes so long.
Is that almost everything that could possibly interfere with the journey storms.
Strange islands.
Giants.
Magic.
Monsters.
His own men.
Particularly his own men.
There will be several moments in this story.
When the entire situation could have been avoided.
If a group of adults had simply followed one instruction.
This will not do.
Odysseus himself is famous for being clever.
Very clever.
That is his great quality.
He is good at plans.
Tricks.
Getting himself out of impossible situations.
Unfortunately,
He also has a habit of getting himself out of an impossible situation.
And then doing something that creates a completely new impossible situation.
We have an intelligent hero.
Surrounded by men who are occasionally difficult to supervise.
Travelling through a world containing gods.
Who take things personally.
And one of those gods is Poseidon.
God of the Sea.
Poseidon becomes extremely angry with Odysseus.
This is unfortunate.
Because Odysseus is travelling by sea.
If you are attempting to get somewhere by boat.
Angering the guard responsible for the water.
Is just poor journey planning.
Helping Odysseus,
Meanwhile.
Is Athena.
Goddess of Wisdom.
She likes him.
She helps him.
Much of the Odyssey can be reduced to Athena.
Let's get him home.
Poseidon.
Let's not.
And somewhere in the middle is Odysseus.
Who would quite like to see his wife again.
Back in Issaca.
Penelope has another problem.
Odysseus has been gone for so long.
That many people assume he is no longer with us.
And a large group of men have moved into his household,
Hoping that Penelope will choose one of them as her new husband.
These are the suitors.
Penelope does not want them.
They nevertheless remain there.
Eating the family's food.
And making themselves comfortable.
So.
.
.
While Odysseus spends years desperately trying to reach his house.
The house is full of men.
You would very much prefer not to find there.
And that really is enough.
Odysseus.
Trying to get home to Issica.
Penelope.
Waiting for him.
Asena Helping Poseidon interfering.
And an increasingly ridiculous collection of things going wrong along the way.
The original poem tells all of this in a much cleverer order.
Moving backward and forward through the story.
We are not going to do that.
Because This is a sleep story.
Do not need to lie there wondering whether the giant happened before the enchantress.
We are going in order.
Troy is behind us.
Issica is ahead.
Odysseus gets on the ship.
And now.
Finally.
We can see how badly this journey goes.
Part two.
In which Odysseus immediately makes things worse.
Troy is behind them.
Odysseus and his men are finally sailing home to Ithaca.
This is the plan.
Aum That's it.
There is no sightseeing itinerary.
No island hopping package.
Nobody has booked a vineyard tour for Thursday.
They have already been away for 10 years.
They would simply like to go home.
And almost immediately.
Things begin going wrong.
Their first stop is at Ismaris.
A town belonging to a people called the Siccones.
Odysseus and his men raid the town.
This is one of those moments where we have to remember that ancient epic heroes Do not necessarily behave like people you would like to have stay at your Airbnb.
They take goods.
They celebrate.
And Odysseus tells his men they should leave.
A sensible suggestion.
They do not leave.
They stay too long.
More Sikonis arrive.
There is fighting.
And Odysseus loses men before the survivors finally escape by sea.
We do not need to dwell on the violence.
The important lesson is simply Odysseus says it is time to leave.
His companions decide they know better.
This will become a theme.
You know this person on holiday.
Everyone is ready.
Taxi is booked.
Bags are downstairs.
One person says.
I'm just going to check the room one last time.
They disappear for 10 minutes.
They return carrying nothing.
Everything okay?
Nobody knows what happened upstairs.
Apparently a full forensic examination of the hotel room has taken place and we have been cleared to leave Spain.
After leaving the Sekonis,
The ships are driven off course by storms.
And eventually they arrive in the land of the Lotus Eaters Now,
The lotus eaters are not terrified.
They are actually rather pleasant compared with some of the people we are going to meet They eat a plant called Lotus.
And anyone who eats it.
Loses the desire to go home.
That is essentially the entire danger.
No giant.
No dragon.
No trapdoor.
Would you like a snack?
And certainly.
Actually,
Issaka can wait.
Odysseus sends a few men ashore to investigate.
The men meet the lotus-eaters.
They eat the lotus.
And very quickly they lose interest in returning to the ship.
Odysseus has to go and retrieve them.
Imagine this in modern terms.
You are travelling home with friends.
You stop briefly at a resort.
Three of them discover the infinity pool.
You come down the next morning.
Right,
Bags in the car.
Silence.
Come on,
We're going home.
One friend is wearing a robe.
I've actually been thinking.
No.
I just feel like maybe.
.
.
Home is Abe.
Construct.
Get in the car.
The buffet starts again at twelve.
Get in the car.
The lotus-eaters may be one of the earliest literary examples of someone going on holiday.
And becoming deeply annoying after a massage.
Odysseus physically gets his men back to the ships.
Ties them in place,
So they cannot wander off again.
And sails away.
Problem solved.
We are making progress.
And then they reach the island of the Cyclopes.
A cyclops in Greek mythology.
Is a giant with one eye.
And the particular Cyclops we are about to meet.
Is cold.
Polyphemus.
Remember that name.
Polyphemus.
Lord.
One eye.
Lives in a cave.
Not especially interested in visitors.
Odysseus lands nearby with some of his men and begins exploring.
Eventually they find a cave.
Inside are cheeses.
Containers of milk.
Livestock.
Supplies.
Clearly somebody lives here.
Several of Odysseus's men suggest something remarkably sensible.
Take some food.
Leave.
That is the suggestion.
They have entered the home of an unknown giant.
Nobody knows where he is.
There is food available.
Take it.
Odysseus says.
No.
He wants to meet.
Whoever lives there.
Because Odysseus is curious.
This is where his intelligence becomes.
.
.
Complicated.
He is brilliant.
But occasionally he has the personality of someone.
Who sees a door marked.
Staff only.
And thinks.
I wonder what's in there?
As men say.
Should we?
May be.
Leave.
Odysseus says.
Let's just see who owns the cave.
We know enough.
The owner is either going to be pleased to see twelve strangers eating his cheese,
Or he isn't.
There is no third option that improves the holiday.
So they wait.
And eventually Polyphemus comes home.
Is huge.
He brings his flock of sheep into the cave.
Then he rolls an enormous stone across the entrance.
And now Odysseus and his men discover an important detail.
They cannot get out.
This is why TripAdvisor exists.
Beautiful cave.
Excellent local cheese.
Post-unusual door situation concerning two stars Polyphemus notices the strangers.
Odysseus explains who they are and appeals to the ancient Greek custom of hospitality toward guests and strangers.
Hospitality is enormously important in the Odyssey.
The Greek idea is called Xenia.
It involves proper relationships between hosts and guests.
Offering food.
Shelter.
Courtesy.
And gift.
While guests are also expected to behave appropriately.
Much of the Odyssey can almost be judged by one question.
How good are these people at having visitors!
Some are excellent.
Others should not be allowed near Booking.
Com.
Polyphemus is very much in the Second Category.
He has no interest in the rules of hospitality.
He is hostile to Odysseus and his men.
And several of the crew are killed during their imprisonment in the cave.
We will leave the unpleasant details with Homer.
This is bedtime.
We are interested in the escape.
Because here,
Odysseus becomes the Odysseus everyone remembers.
He starts thinking.
The cave is sealed by a stone so large that the men cannot move it.
Killing Polyphemus outright.
Would not help.
Nobody else could move the stone.
Though they need Polyphemus alive long enough to open the cave.
This is a difficult problem.
Odysseus devises a plan.
He offers polyphemus.
Some very strong wine he has brought with him.
Polyphemus likes it.
He asks Odysseus his name.
And Odysseus says his name is Nobody.
Depending on the translation.
No man.
This sounds ridiculous.
Polyphemus nevertheless accepts it.
Possibly because he has had quite a lot of wine.
There are moments in life when somebody tells you something clearly suspicious.
And do you sing?
That seems odd.
Fine.
Polyphemus.
What's your name?
Odysseus.
Nobody.
Polyphemus.
Right.
No follow-up question.
Hospitality terrible.
Administrative standards also poor.
Once Polyphemus is asleep.
Odysseus and his men.
Let's just say.
Find Polyphemus.
We will move briskly through that part.
The important consequence is that Polyphemus wakes up shouting for help.
Other cyclopes nearby.
Open.
They call out.
Who is hurting you?
And Polyphemus shouts.
Nobody.
Wonderful.
This is the entire plan paying off.
The other cyclopes effectively respond to it.
If nobody is attacking you.
There doesn't seem much we can do.
And they leave.
It is one of the oldest successful stupid name jokes in literature.
Odysseus has now solved one problem.
Unfortunately.
They are still trapped inside the cave.
Polyphemus eventually needs to let his sheep out to graze.
But he is not completely foolish.
As each animal leaves.
He feels its bite.
To make sure no man is riding on top.
Odysseus comes up with another plan.
He ties his men.
Underneath the sheep.
Underneath.
This is important.
Polyphemus feels the backs of the animals.
Nothing.
The sheep walk up.
Men travel underneath them.
And Odysseus escapes clinging beneath the largest ram.
It is an ingenious plan.
It is also profoundly undignified.
You have survived 10 years of war.
You are a king.
A famous warrior.
One of the great heroes of Greek legend.
And your escape vehicle is.
Bottom of a sheep.
There would be no heroic photograph of this.
If Instagram existed.
Odysseus would wait until everybody was safely outside,
Stand beside the sea with his cloak blowing nicely.
And caption it.
Another adventure.
Grateful.
No mention of sheep.
And astonishingly,
The plan works.
They reach the ships.
Push away from shore.
They are safe.
Polyphemus cannot see them.
He does not know where they are.
Most importantly.
He still believes Odysseus is cold.
Nobody.
This is the moment to leave.
Quietly.
Sail away.
Say nothing.
Go home.
Odysseus.
Does not do this.
Because Odysseus has another quality.
He likes people to know when Odysseus has beaten them.
So,
Once the ship is moving away.
.
.
He begins shouting back at Polyphemus.
As men essentially say.
Please stop doing that.
Odysseus continues.
Are begging him to leave it alone.
This is perhaps the ancient equivalent of winning an argument online.
And then going back into the comments because you have thought of one more thing.
You won.
Close the app.
He has to know.
Eventually,
Odysseus shouts his real name.
He tells Polyphemus exactly who he is.
Odysseus.
King of Ithaca.
That was me.
And this is a terrible decision.
Because polyphemus.
Happens to be the son of Poseidon.
The god of the sea.
Remember,
Poseidon?
The guard you would ideally not annoy if your transport consists entirely of boats.
Polyphemus now knows exactly who has harmed him.
So he calls upon his father and asks Poseidon,
To punish Odysseus,
And prevent,
Or at least terribly delay,
Is journey home.
And Poseidon listens.
This is perhaps the single most expensive bis of showing off in travel history.
Odysseus had escaped.
He had won.
He was on the boat.
Nobody knew his name.
Then,
By the way.
It was me.
There are people who cannot leave a restaurant after a disagreement.
Without turning around at the door.
And another thing.
No,
The taxi is here Your coat is on.
We have achieved escape.
Do not re-enter the situation.
But Odysseus has re-entered the situation.
And now the god of the sea is against him.
Let us review the journey so far.
Odysseus leaves Troy.
Is man refused to leave the first place quickly enough?
Then several men eat a plant and decide they no longer care about going home.
Then Odysseus enters the cave of a giant despite being advised not to.
He escapes using a fake name and some sheep.
And once completely safe,
He announces his real identity to the giant whose father controls the ocean.
They have barely started.
Ithaca remains a very long way away.
And in the next stage of the journey.
Odysseus will be given something almost unbelievably helpful.
Bye.
Containing the winds themselves.
You will be within sight of home.
Everything will be going perfectly.
And then he will make the rookie mistake.
Of falling asleep.
While his crew are awake.
Part 3,
In which the crew are given one simple instruction.
The next genuinely useful person Odysseus meets is Aeolus.
Keeper of the winds.
Aeolus lives on a floating island called Aeolia.
And unusually for this story.
He is extremely helpful.
He welcomes Odysseus and his men.
Listens to their adventures.
Entertains them.
And when they are ready to leave.
He does something extraordinary.
He puts all the troublesome winds into a leather bag.
Every wind.
That might blow Odysseus away from Ithaca.
Is trapped inside it.
One favourable wind is left free To push the ship toward home.
This is magnificent.
After everything that has happened.
Odysseus has finally encountered somebody.
Who understands the assignment.
You want to go home.
Yes.
Here is controlled weather.
Thank you.
No riddles.
No monsters.
No sheep?
Just weather management.
And it works.
For nine days they sailed toward Ithaca.
On the 10th day.
They can actually see the island.
Aum is there.
After all this nonsense.
The journey is almost finished.
Odysseus has apparently been staying awake to manage the voyage.
And now,
With Ithaca in sight.
Exhaustion finally catches up with him.
Before the sleep.
This is the mistake.
It's not because sleeping is wrong.
Sleeping is excellent.
But if you were travelling with Odysseus's crew.
.
.
Apparently you must never leave them unsupervised.
Near a closed container.
Because they have noticed the bike.
Aeolus has explained what is inside.
Winds.
Odysseus knows this.
We know this.
The crew decide.
Its treasure.
This is an astonishing leap.
One man presumably says.
I think he's keeping gold from us.
And immediately.
Another man develops a memory of having suspected this all along.
Yes?
I thought there was something strange about that bag.
You did not.
You learned about the bag 12 seconds ago.
Nevertheless,
A conspiracy has formed.
This is how office gossip works.
Someone sees the manager carrying an envelope.
Bye,
Then.
BONUSES restructuring.
Possible takeover.
The envelope contains a birthday card for Janet.
But Janet is now irrelevant.
The story has momentum.
Odysseus's men opened the bag.
All the winds burst out.
And the ship is blown away from Ithaca.
They had been able to see home.
That is the painful part.
Imagine.
Driving home after a five-week trip,
You reach your own street.
You can see your house.
You fall asleep for 10 minutes.
You wake up.
Your friends have decided to.
Try something.
You are now in Belgium.
There would be questions.
Odysseus wakes.
Looks around.
Is secure.
Is gone.
The poem gives him plenty to say emotionally.
But I like to imagine that initially there is Simply silence.
Odysseus looks at Crewe.
Crew look at deck.
One man begins adjusting a rope.
That absolutely does not need adjusting.
Nobody says.
So,
Um.
.
.
Funny story.
Because there is no version of this story.
That becomes funny quickly enough.
The winds blow them all the way back to Aeolus.
The same man who has already fixed their journey once.
Odysseus approaches him again.
And do you listen?
Refuses to help.
Essentially his responses.
Whatever is happening to you appears to involve the gods.
And I would like to be removed from this email chain.
You gave the man perfect weather.
He came back.
At some point customer service is allowed to close the ticket.
So they sailed on.
Eventually,
They reach the land of the Lestrigonians.
These are enormous and extremely dangerous people.
And we can move through this episode quite quickly because it is not especially bedtime friendly.
What matters is where Odysseus leaves his ship.
Most of the fleet enters a narrow harbour.
Odysseus for reasons of caution.
Leaves his own ship outside.
This turns out to be an extremely good decision.
It has the energy of arriving at a crowded restaurant.
And one person saying,
I'm parking around the corner.
Everyone else?
But there's a space right outside.
No,
I'm fine.
Twenty minutes later,
A delivery truck has blocked the entire street.
Somebody's alarm is going off.
And suddenly,
Malcolm looks like a military strategist.
The Lestrigonians attack.
And nearly all of Odysseus's remaining ships are lost.
His own ship escapes.
Because it was outside the harbour.
There is no need to linger on,
Ow.
The main result is simple.
The enormous fleet that left Troy has now become one ship.
Things are being streamlined.
Not deliberately.
And that single ship eventually reaches another island called Yeah.
Living there.
Is a powerful enchantress.
Cold.
Circe.
Odysseus sends some of his men to investigate.
They find Cersei's house.
Around it are strangely tame wild animals.
Already.
There are signs that perhaps this is not a normal residential property.
If you arrive at an Airbnb.
And there is a lion sitting politely beside the front door.
Perhaps do not immediately use the key saver.
The men go inside.
Circe welcomes them.
She gives them food and drink.
And then uses magic.
To turn them into pigs.
This happens extremely quickly.
One moment.
Would anyone like more wine?
Next moment.
Hospitality standards have collapsed again.
One man.
Euryllicus.
Has remained outside.
Because he is suspicious.
Finally.
Someone has developed this instinct.
After giant.
Magic.
And repeated disasters.
One member of the group has discovered the revolutionary travel technique.
Maybe I'll wait here.
When the others do not return.
Eurylochus goes back to Odysseus.
And explains that the men have been transformed into pigs.
And this is not one of those conversations.
For which there is an obvious response.
What happened?
Circe.
Turns them into pigs.
Right?
There would be a pause.
All of them.
Actual.
Pigs.
Okay.
At some point language runs out.
Odysseus goes to rescue them.
On the way,
He meets the God.
Hermes.
Hermes gives him a magical herb called Mowgli.
Which will protect him from Cersei's spell.
This is one of the great conveniences of mythology.
You encounter a completely impossible problem.
Then a god appears beside the road.
Carrying exactly what you need.
Imagine modern travel working this way.
Your hire car gets a flat tire in rural Italy.
Suddenly,
A radiant figure appears.
Take this.
Sorry,
What is it?
The exact adapter for the locking wheel nut.
You do not question him.
You simply say thank you.
And continue.
Odysseus enters Circe's house.
She gives him the enchanted drink.
He drinks it.
She tries to transform him.
Nothing happens.
For perhaps the first time in Circe's professional career.
The customer has ignored the terms and conditions.
Odysseus confronts her.
Eventually she agrees to restore his men to human form.
And so the pigs become men again.
Which must have produced an extremely delicate atmosphere.
Nobody needs to discuss what happened during the pig period.
One man has eaten something he would normally reject immediately.
Another has spent 15 minutes rolling in mud.
These memories belong to the island.
We move on.
And now Circe changes completely.
She becomes a generous host.
Odysseus and his men are safe.
There is food.
There is comfort.
There is apparently no immediate reason to flee.
They stay.
For a year.
A year.
This is a man whose central objective is to get home.
His wife is waiting.
His son is waiting.
Is already lost years.
But give him comfortable accommodation,
And suddenly the schedule becomes surprisingly negotiable.
This is perhaps the most realistic part of the entire poem.
Before holiday.
Definitely leaving early Sunday.
I want the whole afternoon at home.
Sunday morning.
Breakfast good.
Weather lovely.
Check out Noon.
Should we maybe stay another night?
Human priorities adjust quickly.
Eventually Odysseus's own men have to remind him that they were in fact dead.
Going somewhere.
You can almost hear it.
Odysseus.
Just.
.
.
Wondering about Esiga.
Pause.
Yes,
Em.
Jessica?
Right?
Home.
Yes.
Of course.
And so Odysseus asks Circe how to continue the journey.
Cersei is willing to help.
Wonderful.
Finally.
Directions.
She tells him that before he can go home safely,
He needs advice from a prophet called Tiresias.
Where is Tiresias?
Small complication.
He is dead.
So,
Odysseus must travel to the underworld.
At this point.
I think even Odysseus would be entitled to look at the itinerary.
Troy.
Lotus eaters.
Cyclops.
Windbag.
Giants.
Pig Island.
And now,
Underworld.
You begin to suspect the travel agent has taken against you.
But this is what Circe says he must do.
Once again.
After an entire year of not going home.
Odysseus prepares to leave.
And his next stop is somewhere that most travelers would strongly prefer to postpone indefinitely.
Part four.
In which the journey becomes completely unreasonable.
Odysseus now has to visit the underworld.
This is not presented as a metaphor.
Circe has effectively told him.
You need directions.
From Tiresias.
He's dead.
You still need to ask him.
At some point you stop questioning the itinerary.
Odysseus sails to the edge of the world described in the poem and performs the rituals required to speak with the dead.
We can keep this part gentle.
The important thing is.
That he eventually encounters Tiresias.
The dead prophet he is come to consult.
And Tiresias gives him advice about getting home.
Which makes this possibly the most inconvenient information desk.
In itinerary history.
Imagine Google Maps saying.
.
.
Root unavailable.
Please consult deceased prophet.
Estimated detour.
Considerable.
Odysseus also encounters people from his past.
Including his mother.
And learns things that have happened while he has been away.
This gives the story a more serious moment.
He has been gone for so long that life at home has continued without him.
People of age.
People have died.
His son has grown up.
His wife is still waiting.
So,
The desire to get back to Ithaca.
Becomes even stronger.
And then.
Because this is The Odyssey.
The emotional moment ends.
And Circe gives him the next set of travel instructions.
These include.
.
.
Sirens.
The sirens are dangerous creatures.
Whose singing is irresistible to sailors.
Hear the song.
You are drawn towards them.
Odysseus is warned in advance.
The solution is straightforward.
His crew should block their ears with wax.
Then they will not hear the sirens.
Odysseus,
However.
Would like to hear the song.
Of course you would.
This is the same man who found an occupied cave and sought Let's wait and meet the owner.
Curiosity has already cost him years.
Nevertheless.
.
.
I'd quite like to hear the sirens.
Is crew.
Why?
Because nobody else can safely hear them.
That is not an answer.
That is exactly why you should not hear them.
But Odysseus has a plan.
He tells his crew to tie him tightly to the ship's mast.
Their own ears will be blocked,
So they cannot hear the singing.
Odysseus will be able to hear it.
But will not be able to move.
And he gives them another instruction.
No matter how much I beg you,
Do not untie me.
This is a very particular kind of holiday companion.
Before leaving?
I start behaving irrationally.
Physically restrain me.
Everyone else.
Could we not just.
.
.
Go around the island.
Apparently not.
They approach the sirens.
The crew put wax in their ears.
Odysseus is tied to the mast.
The singing begins.
Exactly as predicted.
Odysseus desperately wants to go towards them.
He begs his men to release him.
His men ignore him.
Because they cannot hear him.
Excellent system.
Odysseus is now shouting instructions that nobody can hear,
While being tied to furniture by his own request.
There are family holidays that reach this stage.
But usually not before day five.
Eventually the ship passes safely beyond the sirens.
The sun fade.
Odysseus is untied.
And presumably everyone agrees never to discuss the period.
During which the king was screaming at them from a pool.
No harm done.
Next.
Unfortunately.
Next is Scylla and Charybdis.
These are two dangers on opposite sides of a narrow sea passage.
Scylla.
Is a terrifying multi-headed monster.
Charybdis.
Is an enormous whirlpool.
And Odysseus has to sail between them.
This is where we get the expression.
Between Scylla and Charybdis.
Being stuck between two bad choices.
Today,
We more often say,
Between a rock and a hard place.
Although in practical terms.
Odysseus would probably have preferred the rock.
Cersei has already warned him that he cannot avoid all danger.
He must choose the less catastrophic route.
This is an important moment in the Odyssey.
Because sometimes cleverness.
Does not produce a perfect answer.
Sometimes.
The available options are simply bad and worse.
Very much like choosing airport food after security.
Sandwich,
14 euro.
Dry muffin.
9 Euro.
There is no good decision.
You merely select the one that will cause least regret.
Odysseus steers past Scylla.
Some members of the crew are lost.
And we will leave the unpleasant details there.
The ship survives.
And eventually they reach the island of Thrinacia.
This island contains cattle.
Belonging to the Sun-God.
Ilias.
And Odysseus has been given one extremely clear warning.
Do not harm the cattle.
That is it.
Do not touch the golden temple,
Not solve this riddle.
Not sacrifice seven objects at midnight.
Leave the cows alone.
The men know this.
Odysseus knows this.
We know this.
The cattle belonged to a god.
Do not eat them.
The crew become stranded on the island because of bad weather.
Food supplies begin running low.
Eventually,
Odysseus goes away to pray.
And crucially.
Fall asleep.
We have seen what happens when Odysseus sleeps.
And his crew are left with an object they have been told not to interfere with.
Last time,
Bag of Winds.
This time.
Sacred Livestock.
One might begin to question whether Odysseus should ever sleep.
As men become desperate.
And Eurylochus.
Persuades them that starving is worse than risking divine anger.
So they eat some of Helios's cattle.
This is exactly the thing they were told not to do.
Imagine being Odysseus at this point.
You wake.
You smell cooking.
Pause.
Sorry,
What's that?
Nobody answers.
What is that?
One man slowly places a plate behind his back.
There were only two categories of food on the island.
Ordinary supplies and the one thing belonging to a god that we were specifically forbidden to eat.
They have chosen Category 2.
This is not bad luck anymore.
This is a management problem.
Helios is furious.
Quite reasonably.
He appeals to Zeus.
The chief of the Greek gods.
Demanding punishment.
And after the crew sail away.
Disaster follows.
Their ship is destroyed in a storm.
Again,
We do not need the grim details.
What matters is that Odysseus is now the only survivor of his crew.
One man.
No ship.
No crew.
Still not home.
We began with a fleet.
Than one ship.
Now.
Odysseus.
The travel party has become extremely exclusive.
Is swept through the sea and eventually reaches an island called Ogygia.
And living there is a goddess called Calypso.
Calypso rescues him.
She gives him shelter.
She cares for him.
The island is beautiful.
Safe.
Comfortable.
And Calypso wants Odysseus to stay with her.
Which,
After everything we have just been through,
Sounds like the first decent offer he has received in years.
No giant.
No whirlpool.
No forbidden cattle.
No one opening anything.
There is just one problem.
Odysseus still wants to go home.
And this is where the story becomes rather touching again.
He has been offered comfort.
Safety.
Beautiful island.
A goddess.
In later summaries of the tradition.
People often focus on the extraordinary attractions of Calypso's Island.
But Odysseus continues longing for Ithaca.
Not because Ithaca is more magical.
It isn't.
It is simply his home.
His wife is there.
His son is there.
Is life is there.
Eucalyptus Island may be paradise.
But it is somebody else's paradise.
And Odysseus stays there.
For years.
7 years.
According to the poem's broader timeline.
Seven.
At this point,
If Penelope had access to Find My Friends,
There would be serious questions.
Location.
Ogygia.
Duration.
2,
556 days.
Penelope.
Interesting.
Eventually the gods intervene.
Athena argues that Odysseus has suffered enough.
Zeus agrees.
And Hermes is sent to tell Calypso.
That she must let Odysseus go.
After all these years.
He can finally leave.
Calypso helps him build a raft.
And provide supplies.
And Odysseus sets off again.
Alone.
No crew.
No fleet.
A bag of winds.
No sacred cows.
Honestly.
This may improve his chances considerably.
And remarkably.
After everything that has happened.
Is finally approaching the stage of the story.
Where someone will give him the most useful thing.
Anybody is offered in 10 years.
A straightforward ride home.
Part 5,
In which someone finally organizes the transport properly.
Odysseus leaves Calypso's island on a raft.
Arrived.
After everything this man has been through.
The gods have apparently approved his journey home.
But nobody has thought.
Could we maybe get him a boat?
No,
Build something from wood.
Push off.
Best of luck.
And for a while things go reasonably well.
Which I know should make us nervous.
Poseidon eventually notices Odysseus on the water.
Poseidon is still angry with him.
Very angry.
This feud has now gone on so long that even Poseidon must occasionally wake up and think What was I angry about again?
Ah yes,
The Cyclops.
Continue.
Ascends a storm.
Odysseus's raft is wrecked.
And after another exhausting struggle with the sea,
Odysseus finally reaches land.
Is now arrived in the country.
Of the Phaeacians.
Is where something astonishing happens.
Competent people.
For the first time in what feels like several years.
Nobody tries to eat him.
Nobody turns anybody into an animal.
Nobody hands his crew a bag and says not to open it.
No sacred livestock appears.
The Phaeacians are simply good hosts.
It is almost unsettling.
Odysseus reaches the shore exhausted and falls asleep.
Newbie.
A young princess called Nausicaa has come with attendants to wash clothes.
This is one of those details in ancient literature.
That instantly makes the world feel real.
Princess.
Royal Family.
Important household.
Laundry.
There is no escaping it.
Civilization may produce palaces,
Epic poetry,
And bronze armor.
Eventually someone always says.
Who's doing the sheets?
Nor sicker.
And the other young women.
Are playing nearby when Odysseus appears.
And we should imagine the situation from their point of view.
You are having a pleasant afternoon.
The laundry is nearly finished.
An exhausted shipwrecked man emerges from the vegetation.
There is no reception desk.
No security.
No Google review,
Saying.
Speech Lovely,
Occasionally contains Greek kings.
Understandably.
Some of the women are frightened and run away.
No sicker.
Stays.
Odysseus needs help.
And here one of his great talents returns.
He is extremely good at talking.
Very useful.
Because visually.
Things are not currently going in his favour.
It does not look like a king.
He looks like a man who has recently lost an argument with the Mediterranean.
He speaks carefully and respectfully to Nausicaa.
He does not rush at her.
He does not immediately announce his entire biography.
He simply explains that he is in trouble and asks for assistance.
This is one of the rare moments when Odysseus demonstrates the travel skill.
His crew never mastered.
Read the room.
Nausicaa helps.
She provides clothing,
Food and instructions for reaching the palace of her parents.
And there is something wonderfully modern about these instructions.
She effectively says,
Going to town.
Find the palace.
Speak to my mother.
But maybe do not walk directly beside me the whole way because people will talk.
Ancient small-town social media.
No phones.
No cameras.
Still.
Who was that with Nausicaa?
I don't know.
Shipwrecked man.
Apparently.
Interesting.
So Odysseus follows the instructions and reaches the palace.
There he meets the Phaeacian king.
Are sinuous.
And Queen.
Are 18.
They welcome him generously.
Shelter.
Safety.
Eventually they promised to get him home.
And I cannot stress enough how revolutionary this feels.
After the previous sections.
Odysseus.
I need to get to Ithaca.
Deviations.
Fine.
Odysseus.
No prophecy.
No monster.
Do I need to avoid touching anything?
Is there a bag?
Odysseus must be deeply suspicious.
At some point,
Competent hospitality starts to feel like a trap.
The Phaeacians also hold games and entertainments.
There are athletic contests.
Music.
Feasting.
And during a performance,
A bard sings about events from the Trojan War.
Odysseus becomes emotional.
Which makes sense.
Imagine going through the worst 10 years of your life.
And then.
While eating dinner.
Somebody begins performing a song about it.
You are trying to enjoy the bread.
Singer.
And then Troy burned.
Odysseus.
Could we possibly do something lighter?
Maybe a song about weather?
The king notices Odysseus' reaction and finally asks him directly who he is.
And this is the moment Odysseus begins telling the story.
Of his adventures.
This is important structurally.
Huge chunk of the odyssey that we have already heard.
Cyclops,
Circe,
Sirens and so on.
Is actually Odysseus recounting these adventures to the Phaeacians.
Which means Odysseus has effectively arrived at somebody's house and said,
You won't believe the journey I've had.
And then spoken for several books of the poem.
This is the ancient version of asking someone.
How was the trip?
And immediately regressing it.
You expected to hear.
Fine,
Thanks.
Maybe.
I was a bit delayed.
Instead.
First there was this giant.
The Phaeacians are excellent listeners.
This should also be acknowledged.
Odysseus,
As stories involving monsters,
Gods.
Magic.
Carnivore giants.
Transformed pigs.
And the underworld.
At no point does Alcinoe say Sorry,
Just quickly,
What time are you leaving tomorrow?
They sit through the whole thing.
Hospitality at an elite level.
And once Odysseus is finished.
They do exactly what everyone else should have done.
Approximately nine years earlier.
They put him on a ship.
They give him gifts.
They provide skill to sailors.
And they take him to Ithaca.
That's it.
No experiment.
No detour.
No one says.
While we're passing this island.
Should we just have a look?
No.
The Phaeacians understand transport.
Their sailors are so capable.
That Odysseus can sleep during the journey.
This would ordinarily be a terrifying sentence.
Every previous time Odysseus falls asleep.
Something catastrophic happens.
The man should have developed a phobia of naps.
But this time he sleeps.
And when he wakes up.
He is home.
Actually home.
Issaka.
After 20 years.
At this point you might expect trumpets.
Running family.
Penelope on the shore.
Telemachus racing toward him.
Perhaps somebody carrying a banner.
Welcome home,
Odysseus.
The Phaeacians unload him while he is asleep.
Place his possessions nearby.
And sail away.
Odysseus wakes up lying on his own island.
End.
Wonderfully at first.
It does not recognize it.
This man has spent ten years.
Trying to reach one particular place.
He finally gets there.
Looks around.
Where am I?
There are holidays where this happens after a long flight.
You wake in the taxi.
You look up.
Industrial estate.
Roundabout.
Rain.
For a moment.
Is this home?
You see your local Walmart.
Yes.
Aum Athena has partly hidden the landscape from Odysseus with mist.
So his confusion is not entirely his fault.
She soon appears and explains.
That he has indeed reached Ithaca.
Idly.
After everything.
And does Odysseus immediately run home?
Course not.
That would suggest we have learned nothing about him.
Athena explains the situation in his house.
The suitors are still there.
They are still trying to persuade Penelope.
To marry one of them.
They are eating Odysseus's food.
Using his property.
Making themselves extremely comfortable.
This has been going on for years.
Imagine returning from a long trip and discovering that a large group of strangers has moved into your house,
Emptied the fridge,
And is now competing to marry your spouse.
There would be a moment at the front door.
Sorry.
Who are these people?
Penelope.
It's complicated.
Odysseus.
They're eating my cheese.
Penelope,
Meanwhile.
Has been remarkably clever herself.
She has been resisting the suitors for years.
One of her most famous strategies involves a burial shroud.
She says she must finish weaving.
Before choosing a new husband.
By day,
She works on it.
By night.
She secretly unravels what she has woven.
This continues for years.
Until the trick is discovered.
This is magnificent.
Penelope has invented the project that is always nearly finished.
Suitor.
Oseum.
The shroud closed.
Oh,
It's nearly there.
Three months later.
How's the shroud?
Honestly.
So close.
A year later.
Still doing that.
Shroud.
Just some final bits.
Anyone who has ever hired a builder.
Understands Penelope immediately.
And their son Telemachus is now a young man.
Remember.
He was a baby when Odysseus left.
That is how long this has taken.
Odysseus has missed essentially his son's entire childhood.
Athena advises caution.
Odysseus should not simply walk into the palace and announce himself.
Instead.
She disguises him as an elderly beggar.
Because apparently after 10 years of trying to get home The final stage requires going undercover in your own house.
Odysseus is now standing.
On his own island.
Looking older and poorer.
Than he really is.
Preparing to investigate his own family.
This is where the Odyssey stops being a travel story.
And becomes something closer to an undercover operation.
He has finally completed the journey.
You just cannot tell anybody yet.
And perhaps this is the most Odysseus thing imaginable.
Any normal person arriving home after 20 years?
I'm back.
Odysseus.
First disguise.
Observe.
Gather intelligence.
Test everyone.
Make a plan.
Of course.
Because if there is one thing this man enjoys more than getting home,
It is making home slightly more complicated than necessary.
Part 6 in which everyone in the house is about to have a very bad day.
Odysseus' first genuinely useful stop on Ithaca.
Is with a loyal servant called God.
Eumias.
Eumaeus is a swineherd.
He looks after pigs.
Which means that after giants,
Goddesses,
Whirlpools,
And supernatural islands,
One of the most important people in the final act of the Odyssey.
Is essentially the man from the pig department.
And he is excellent.
Eumaeus has remained loyal to Odysseus.
Throughout his absence.
He welcomes the disguised stranger generously.
Give some food and shelter.
And begins talking about his missing master.
Without having the faintest idea that his missing master is sitting directly in front of him.
This must be an extraordinary experience for Odysseus.
Eumaeus.
My old master was a good man.
Odysseus.
Go on.
He treated people well.
Interesting.
I wish he would come back.
Yes.
Basically,
We are inventing that last part.
But if somebody unknowingly begins praising you to your face,
There is surely a moment when you consider seeing how far this can go.
Eventually.
Telemachus arrives.
A scene.
Temporarily removes Odysseus's disguise.
So that father and son can recognize each other.
And this is a genuinely emotional reunion.
Telemachus has grown up without his father.
Odysseus has missed his son's childhood.
For a moment.
All the monsters and detours disappear.
And the story simply becomes about it.
Two people.
Finally seeing one another again.
Naturally.
They immediately begin planning.
Because this is still Odysseus.
No family reunion is complete.
Until somebody has drawn up a strategy.
They need to deal with the men occupying the palace.
So,
Telemachus returns first.
While Odysseus follows later in disguise.
And when Odysseus enters his own household.
He finally gets to see the suitors at close range.
They have been there for years.
Eating.
Drinking.
Using the place.
Waiting for Penelope to choose one of them.
There is something uniquely irritating.
About somebody behaving badly in your house.
A stranger can be annoying almost anywhere.
But put their glass directly onto your woven table without a coaster.
Then suddenly,
Civilization becomes fragile.
Odysseus walks among them unnoticed.
Some ignore him.
Some treat him badly.
One particularly unpleasant suitor is Antinous.
And Odysseus watches.
He says relatively little.
This is much more threatening than shouting.
You can imagine him mentally filing people.
And tenuous.
You.
Unnoted.
That man by the bread,
Not sure of name.
Still noted.
It is the ancient Greek version of somebody quietly saying,
That's fine.
It is not fine.
Then comes one of the smallest and most famous moments in the poem.
Odysseus sees his old dog.
Argos.
Argos is now very old.
But he recognises Odysseus.
Immediately.
Nobody needs to tell him.
No disguise works on the dark.
Odysseus has to hide his emotion because revealing himself would ruin the plan.
And shortly afterwards Argos dies.
Having finally seen his master return.
That one doesn't need a joke.
Homer has already done enough damage inside the palace though.
The performance continues.
Odysseus,
Still unrecognised by Penelope.
Eventually speaks with her.
And Penelope begins asking this stranger Odysseus.
This is now becoming an increasingly peculiar evening for one man.
Imagine being asked to provide references for yourself.
What was he like?
Odysseus.
Hmm,
Very capable.
Yeah,
Exceptionally.
Ansem.
Well,
Since you mention it Again,
Omer does not give us that exchange.
A missed opportunity,
In my humble opinion.
Odysseus gives Penelope a convincing story.
And reassures her that her husband may still return.
She wants to believe him.
But after years of rumours and disappointments She is cautious.
Quite sensibly.
Then an elderly servant called Eurycleia.
Is asked to wash the stranger's feet.
She has known Odysseus since he was young.
And while washing him.
She notices an old scar on his leg.
Immediately.
That's Odysseus.
This is the danger of trying to fool somebody.
Who remembers you from childhood.
You can alter the hair.
Change the clothes.
Change the face.
Then your old babysitter says,
Oh,
I know that scar.
Finished.
Eurycleia nearly reacts.
But Odysseus stops her.
And asks her to keep his identity secret.
Another person now knows.
The secret is beginning to operate.
Like one of those supposedly confidential family announcements.
Where by evening 17 people know,
But nobody is allowed to tell Aunt Carol.
And then Penelope announces a contest.
She brings out Odysseus's bow.
The challenge is that Whichever suitor can string the bow and shoot an arrow through a line of twelve axe-heads will win her hand.
The exact arrangement of those axe-heads has been debated.
But that needn't trouble us tonight.
The important point is.
.
.
The bow is extremely difficult to string.
The suitors begin trying.
And this is where the scene becomes timeless.
One man tries.
I cannot do it.
Another immediately assumes technique is the problem.
If it here.
He tries.
Nothing.
A third man has been watching and has now developed expertise.
No,
You're holding it wrong.
He tries.
Still nothing.
Within minutes.
The bow has become the ancient Greek equivalent of a piece of flatback furniture.
Nobody can make it work.
Everybody has a theory.
Nobody will look at the instructions.
There are no instructions.
Eventually,
Someone starts warming the bow.
We have reached the stage where a group of men has failed at a task often enough that heat has entered the discussion.
Modern version.
Jar won't open.
First man tries.
Second man tries.
Third man taps lid against counter.
Someone gets a tea towel.
Suddenly six adults are conducting engineering.
The jar remains undefeated.
Then the disguised Odysseus.
Asks whether he may try.
The suitors are horrified.
This elderly stranger.
Bow of Odysseus.
Absolutely not.
Which is unfortunate.
Because the elderly stranger is.
Telemachus makes sure he gets the bow.
Odysseus takes it.
Examines it.
And strings it.
Effortlessly.
This point.
There should have been a very particular silence.
The same silence.
That happens when someone at a party casually says.
I used to play a little tennis.
Then serves at 120 miles an hour.
Everybody adjusts their understanding of the person.
Odysseus takes the shot.
The arrow passes successfully through the axe heads.
And now the room has a problem.
A large one.
The old stranger is not.
An old stranger.
The suitors have spent years living in Odysseus's house.
Eating his food.
Pressuring his way.
And Odysseus has returned.
This is the point where some of them presumably begin reviewing earlier decisions.
There must be a split second when Antinous thinks.
Perhaps I should have been nicer to the beggar.
Too late.
The confrontation that follows is pretty violent in the original poem.
We do not need to reproduce it here.
Odysseus,
Telemachus and their loyal allies Defeat the suitors.
Let us simply say that the men who had become extremely comfortable in Odysseus's home.
Are no longer an accommodation issue.
And finally.
.
.
Odysseus can reunite properly with Penelope.
Except.
.
.
Penelope does not immediately accept him.
And I love this.
Because everyone else has spent the story reacting to God's prophecies.
And disguises.
Penelope wants evidence.
She has been waiting for twenty years.
She is dealt with false reports.
She has had a palace full of men telling her things.
So she tests him.
She tells a servant to move the marriage bed.
That she once shared with Odysseus.
And Odysseus reacts immediately.
Move it.
You cannot move it.
He knows.
Because he built the thing himself.
One of the bedposts was made from a living olive tree,
Rooted in the ground.
And the room had effectively been constructed around it.
This is wonderfully specific marital knowledge.
There are things only your partner would know.
Which side of the bed do you sleep on?
Where the spare batteries are.
Why the cupboard door has to be lifted slightly before it closes.
Penelope's version is.
.
.
Our bed is structurally attached to a tree.
If you know that,
You're probably my husband.
And that is what convinces her.
Not the face.
Not the voice.
Not just seen.
Not a messenger.
Piece of extremely unusual bedroom carpentry.
After gods,
Monsters,
And twenty years apart.
The marriage is confirmed by DIY.
It is somehow perfect.
They are finally reunited.
Odysseus also later sees his elderly father,
Laertes,
And there is one final threat of more conflict involving the families of the defeated suitors.
Athena arrives.
Peace is restored.
And at long last.
The story can stop moving.
No more islands.
No more bags.
No more instructions being ignored.
No more enchanted food.
No more unexpected livestock.
Odysseus has spent ten years fighting at Troy and another ten trying to get back from it.
And after all of that.
.
.
The final proof that he belongs at home.
Is not a sword.
Prophecy.
Or some magnificent royal object.
It is the fact that he knows why the bed cannot be moved.
Which may be one of the most reassuring endings in ancient literature.
Heroes can fight monsters.
Kings can cross oceans.
But home,
Apparently.
Is where you know what's wrong with the furniture.
Part seven.
In which nobody leaves the Odyssey alone.
And this is perhaps the strangest part of the whole story.
People have been retelling it.
For nearly 3,
000 years.
Homer gives us a man who goes away.
Has enormous difficulty getting home.
Meets increasingly unreasonable obstacles,
And eventually returns to his family.
And humanity apparently looked at this and thought Yes,
We can use that.
Forever.
Even the word Odyssey escaped from the poem.
Today,
Anodyssey simply means a long eventful journey.
You can use it for almost anything.
Getting the planning permission was an odyssey.
It was an odyssey trying to cancel the broadband.
Homer might say,
Um,
I had gods,
Monsters,
The underworld.
MODERN MAN You have clearly never spoken to customer services,
Homer,
My friend.
The story survived through manuscripts,
Scholars and translations.
And kept being reshaped for new audiences.
In 1640.
THE COMPOSER CLAUDIO MONTEVERDI turned the homecoming into an opera,
The return of Ulysses to his homeland.
Ulysses is simply the Latin version of the name Odysseus.
This has caused generations of perfectly innocent people to assume there are two different men.
There are not.
Same exhausted traveler,
Different name badge Then,
In 1922,
The Irish writer James Joyce published Ulysses.
And Joyce decided to take this enormous ancient journey.
And relocate it to Dublin.
That follows a man called Leopold Bloom through a single day.
No Cyclops in a cave.
No enchanted island.
Most sleep.
Dublin.
Which is either an extraordinary modernist transformation of Homer or proof that if you walk around Dublin for long enough,
Eventually it becomes mythological.
Cinema inevitably arrived.
There was Ulysses in the 1950s.
With Kirk Douglas playing the hero.
A major television version of the Odyssey,
Appeared in 1997.
Then the Coen brothers made,
O brother,
Where art thou?
In 2000.
Moving the basic idea to Depression-era Mississippi.
It is very loosely inspired by the Odyssey.
There are echoes of the sirens.
A one-eyed character echoes the cyclops.
There is a long journey home.
And George Clooney spends a significant amount of time worrying about his hair.
Homer somehow survives this.
And in 2026 Christopher Nolan released a huge new film version with Matt Damon as Odysseus.
So.
.
.
A story that probably took shape when writing itself was still relatively new,
Can now be watched in IMAX.
That is quite a career.
From one man reciting 12,
000 lines from memory.
Matt Damon projected onto his screen approximately the size of Thebes.
But the influence goes much further than direct adaptations.
Any story where somebody leaves home faces a sequence of strange tests.
Changes along the way,
And struggles to return,
As a little bit of the Odyssey somewhere in its family tree.
Road movies.
Adventure Films.
Fantasy Quests stories about soldiers coming home.
Stories where the hero meets one bizarre person after another.
And begins to wonder whether staying in bed might have been wiser.
And the characters themselves.
Have become permanent.
The Cyclops.
The Sirens.
Circe Penelope.
Odysseus.
People who have never read the poem still know pieces of it.
That may be the real achievement.
Nearly three thousand years later.
The story has travelled considerably farther.
Than Odysseus ever did.
And with far fewer problems.
No one had to tie the odyssey underneath his sheep.
No manuscript opened,
A forbidden bag of winds.
No translation ate the sacred cattle.
It simply kept moving.
From voice to writing.
From scroll to book.
From book to stage.
From stage to cinema.
And eventually.
To somebody lying in bed.
Listening to a man explain it very slowly.
In the hope that they will fall asleep.
After almost 3000 years of literary history,
Feels like a perfectly respectable ending.
OMER.
Wanted immortality.
You.
Wanted 8 hours.
