As we come to the end of our week of self-inquiry,
And to the end of the program in general,
It's just a reminder that our modern minds are so used to accumulating knowledge and using certain techniques to do things,
Kind of treating ourselves in a somewhat robotic way,
Like input,
Output,
Mentality.
Self-inquiry is a contemplative practice that asks us to gently put aside the right intellect,
To put aside the mind which tries to grasp and clarify and discern.
Instead,
It asks us to open to all that we do not know,
That the mind cannot grasp.
I've been in many talks on self-inquiry before,
And I remember I used to sort of write incessant notes,
And I realized I was really missing the point,
Trying to intellectualize what is attempting to point us away from our intellectualizing ways.
And instead,
Just open.
One way to understand self-inquiry is that it's,
There's this sacredness,
There's this mystery there.
It's a way of plunging consciousness into itself,
Into the hidden dimensions of the psyche which remain in darkness,
Unless we make an intentional effort to follow our questions beyond the periphery between the known,
Between all that we can grasp with the intellect,
And the infinite unknown.
So we're looking to evoke experiential insight and wisdom,
Not to collect more information or form,
Yet more beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.
So for this final practice,
We will simply do a classic self-inquiry meditation,
But try to bring in two particular attitudes.
The first attitude is a gentleness,
Which is a way of diverting our propensity to push and strive and achieve,
And to criticize ourselves if we feel like we can't do self-inquiry,
Whatever that means.
So gentleness,
And also a kind of earnestness,
A sincerity.
Can we approach this meditation with total curiosity,
As if we've never turned inwards and explored consciousness before,
As if we've never looked at who we are before.
So just with this attitude of total freshness,
Or what the Zen masters would call a beginner's mind.
So let's come to a comfortable position,
So bringing your interest and gentle attention inward.
So this gentle attention within,
Taking a few deep breaths to help you ground and arrive fully,
Let the breath become natural and gentle once more,
And we'll let the attention go to the senses,
Becoming aware of listening,
Hearing the sounds that are here,
And let them wash through you,
And be aware of the aliveness in the body,
The sensations,
Now feeling your face,
Letting it soften and feeling the sensations there,
Your hands softening sensations,
Loosening the belly,
Feeling the breath deep in the belly,
And being aware of the felt sense in the heart area,
So bringing the awareness to the chest area,
Senses wide open,
And now inquire,
Who is this happening to,
Really,
Who is listening and feeling right now,
Can you find the sense of a self that's listening,
Feeling that sense of me,
Or I am,
That in some way is the place where you locate the sense of self,
See if you can find that sense of self,
Localize that sense of self,
Maybe in the heart center,
But maybe exploring if that sense of self is currently felt more behind the eyes,
Feel the self where it's from inside,
And now sense what is witnessing this self,
Where is the witness,
Is there a vague sense of a witnessing from somewhere outside of you,
From above or behind,
Just exploring,
Where is this witness,
You might listen to these words,
As you watch your mind,
You discover yourself as the watcher,
The witness,
When you stand in this motionless,
This stillness state,
Just watching,
Not doing,
You discover yourself as the very light behind the watcher or the witness,
That source alone is,
Allow yourself to abide there,
As the light behind the witness,
Sensing the light,
The awareness,
You can feel how that awareness pervades your body through everywhere,
That everything is felt by awareness,
Inside you,
Through you,
And everywhere around you,
Listening to the sounds,
Sensing the awareness that extends boundlessly,
Just allow yourself to relax,
Be that awareness,
That all-pervading awareness,
In this meditation,
In the silence,
You can ask the question,
Who am I,
To bring yourself back to this awareness of yourself as the awareness,
Don't think about it too hard,
Dropping any feeling of trying to master or grasp a technique or a tool,
Just coming with this earnest,
Sincere,
Yet gentle inquiry into the nature of who you are,
Sagadatta Maharaj says,
When the mind is kept away from its preoccupations,
It becomes quiet,
If you do not disturb this quiet,
And stay in it,
You find that it is permeated with a light and a love,
You have never known,
And yet,
You recognize it at once,
As your own nature.
One more minute,
Earnest,
Gentle inquiry,
And as we come out of the meditation,
Let a spacious quality continue,
As we open more and more to the sacred mystery,
Who we are.
