This meditation is designed to help us release mom shame.
So mom guilt is the common feeling that we should be doing something better or different than we are.
If we go away from our kids to work,
We feel like we should be home with them.
If we're home enjoying our children,
We feel like we should be at work with them.
But mom shame is a little bit different.
Mom shame.
Is this deep feeling that somehow You're not good at this.
That you make mistakes that harm your child or you make mistakes that no one else is making,
You can't figure it out.
Mom shame limits us and keeps us stuck.
It doesn't allow us to have compassion,
Grace,
Or to model the kind of authentic caring behavior that we want our children to experience.
This meditation is designed to help us release feelings of shame that come from making mistakes with our kids.
We all have moments we aren't proud of and yet.
We can let them override our beliefs that we're a good parent.
And send us into spirals of what a horrible parent we are.
How we always mess it up.
How we're ruining our kids.
And how obviously something is wrong with us.
I know how heavy it can feel to make a big mistake with our kids.
And if you're in that place now.
This meditation will be a friend.
So let's begin.
Find a way to be comfortable for a few minutes,
Either sitting or lying down.
If it feels safe in your experience,
You can close your eyes or just soften your gaze.
As we settle in,
Noticing as the body breathes itself.
Nothing you need to do or fix.
The body breathing.
As you settle in,
You might notice places in your body that call for your attention.
Maybe pain.
Tension,
Discomfort.
Allowing the mind's eye to wander through the places in your body that are asking to be seen.
Accepting all that's with you,
Careful not to push it away or breathe it out.
Just noticing the sensations that are here.
And then turning your attention onto your right hand.
Noticing all the feelings of your right hand.
Maybe sensations of temperature or heaviness.
And then noticing your left hand.
Feeling all the sensations,
The aliveness of the left hand.
Then going back and feeling your right hand.
And then noticing your left hand.
Then back to the right.
And back to the left.
At your own pace going back and forth,
Right hand and left hand.
Right hand.
Left hand.
And then feel both hands at the same time.
Both hands alive with sensation.
Now bring your attention into the center of your heart.
Wherever your heart center is alive today,
There's no way to get it wrong.
Holding your attention at your heart center.
And beginning to breathe in and out from heart center.
In whatever way it makes sense to you.
Just Breast.
Radiating in and out from your heart.
Maybe it has a color or a quality,
A light.
Whatever's here is perfect.
Breathing in and out from heart.
Allow the rhythm of the breath to flow naturally.
No way to get this wrong.
Feeling whatever is present with you as you breathe in and out from your heart.
Whatever happened recently with your children?
That made you feel like a bad mom.
That made you feel like you made a huge mistake or you're always messing up.
Like you're not good enough for them.
Let whatever happened.
Come into your mind.
Remember it and feel what you feel in your body.
Pay attention where in your body.
Do you feel this story?
Remembering you can't get this wrong.
Going with whatever is here,
Where are you feeling?
This shame.
In your body.
What does it feel like there?
Using the words in your own mind that make sense.
Holding your attention.
On the sensation in your body.
Letting everything that's coming come.
Maybe tears will flow.
Maybe you'll feel tight or clenching.
Maybe there are other sensations.
Welcoming all of them,
Letting them be,
Letting them unfold,
Letting tears flow if tears are here.
If there are other sounds or movements you need to make,
Letting them rise up out of you.
You're doing great.
This is exactly where you are meant to be.
Feel whatever you need to feel.
And then.
.
.
I want you to think of a time that you were an awesome mom.
Thinking of a time that you did it all right,
That you were proud of how you showed up for your kid,
How attuned you were.
The time you said the right things.
A time they looked at you and smiled that big,
Huge smile full of love.
It doesn't have to be a huge moment,
Just a moment that you know you did great.
Take a little time to come into that moment.
Letting the memory sharpen.
And then notice where you feel it in your body.
What are the feelings and sensations and where are they located?
Of this memory of being a good mom.
My mom at her best.
Noticing how it feels in your body.
And then go back.
To how it felt.
To feel like you were a bad mom.
And then remembering being a good mom.
Then start to go back and forth between these two sensations in your body.
The feeling of being a horrible mom.
And the feeling of when you nailed it.
Going back and forth.
Moving at your own pace.
And then letting go.
Feeling both at the same time.
Recognizing this might be hard for the brain and that's okay.
Just feeling both at the same time to the best of your ability in this moment.
Maybe something has shifted.
Or maybe not.
Just noticing.
Is there more space?
Do you feel there are more emotions to let flow?
No wrong answers.
Now for a moment.
.
.
I'd like you to imagine that I'm you.
I'm not just here in your body or your house.
But imagining that I've lived your whole life exactly the way you lived it.
Imagining that I was born into your life.
I had the same parents.
I had the same childhood.
I have the same experiences.
I made the same mistakes,
Wrestled with the same challenges.
I had the same joys.
Talents.
And I learned all the same lessons and patterns that you learned.
So just for now,
Let me be you.
Imagine that I was born as you,
And now I'm here in your home.
I'm here with your family.
Your kids are my kids.
Your days are my days.
Your job is my job.
Your stress,
My stress.
And when faced with the same situation that you were faced with.
I would have done the exact same thing you did.
I couldn't have done it any differently.
If I had the exact same tools you had.
The exact life you had.
The exact day you had.
And I found myself in the same situation.
I would have reacted exactly as you did.
It couldn't have been any different.
I would have done the best that I can in that moment.
And I would have done exactly the same thing that you did.
Allowing whatever feelings are present with you to arise.
Maybe there are sounds,
Tears,
Movements.
It might feel good to wrap your arms around yourself in a hug.
Or to rub up and down your arms with the opposite hand.
Or maybe place one hand on your heart.
Perhaps even making small circles around your heart.
Breathing into any sensations arising in your body,
Sending breath to wherever you're feeling sensation.
Letting anything that is here be here.
And then noticing once again your breath.
Perhaps allowing the breath to gently lengthen.
Filling the body with air and releasing gently.
And we'll close with three deep breaths together.
As you inhale,
Let your body expand,
Filling up with compassion for yourself.
And as you exhale,
Send compassion out to the world around you.
Breathing in wide breath,
Filling up with love for yourself.
And as you exhale,
Sending love out into the world around you.
Last deep breath in,
Filling the body up with peace for yourself.
And as you exhale,
Sending peace out into the world around you.
Then allowing the breath to come back into its own natural rhythm.
Starting to move the body in any way that feels right.
Blinking the eyes open if they're closed.
Coming back into your space.
Knowing fully that you are loved.
You are worthy.
And you are a great mom.
