Addiction is not failure.
There must be a reason that you decide you're worth fighting for.
At the end of my own recovery from an eating disorder,
The only decision that saved me was knowing that I would die if I kept living the way that I was.
So I stopped.
I slipped up for the very last time and knew it was enough.
So when that moment happens for you in your own life,
It's up to you.
And rather than feeling beholden to your struggle or feeling like a victim,
You can become a hero of your own story.
Begin by finding a comfortable seat,
Closing your eyes,
Taking a deep breath in through your nose,
Sighing it out of your mouth,
Coming into your body,
Sending your breath into your belly,
So you're filling up with air and expanding outward,
Holding your inhalation at the top of your lungs and expiring your air out into the surrounding room around you.
There's no felt experience or attachment in your mind to thoughts.
It's simply your breath entering in and out of your nose.
Maybe a little whisper on the exhale.
So with five more breaths to go,
Can you expand and lengthen the inhalation?
Growing a bit taller with your posture,
Shoulders over your hips,
Exhale long,
Smooth,
Steady breath.
Four more,
Inhaling.
And exhaling.
These last three deep breaths,
As much air as you can find enter your lungs,
Sipping in even more.
Smooth,
Steady exhale out of your mouth.
Two more deep breaths,
Inhaling.
Feel your belly fill with air and exhaling.
This last final breath,
Slowly opening your eyes and taking in the sights and sounds around you,
Keeping your gaze soft,
Focusing on something slightly in front of you.
Maybe the table you're sitting at,
Maybe the floor if you're on your mat.
If your safe space is in your car,
Maybe your steering wheel.
Just find your jaw relaxed,
Your eyes softening.
Any tension in your shoulders,
Relax and let fall away.
You're still focused on your breath,
Feeling where it moves in your body as your belly rises,
Your belly falls.
The more you hone your awareness and attention on your breath,
The less the surrounding thoughts that you have in your mind matter and affect your actions.
The practice of meditation for addiction and recovery assists your decision making process.
Choosing what is best for your body,
The decision to refuse to give up becomes stronger than the part of you who chooses to give in.
Simplifying your addiction,
Transforming it into recovery and shifting the attitude away from victimhood and into the heroic savior-dom that is making the choice to do what is best for you.
Meditation is insight into how you feel.
Meditation is practice to remain present.
Instead of becoming swept up in the thoughts of causing harm or in running away from emotion,
Which is how many addictions manifest.
So rather than allowing your thoughts of engaging in a destructive behavior to rule what you do with your body in the material world,
Starts by rewiring the way you think,
Rewiring your response.
Breathing in and breathing out.
The longer you sit in stillness,
The easier it becomes to recognize a thought that doesn't need to be acted upon.
The longer you are able to stay with your awareness,
The less likely you are to follow the chatter of your mind for more than a moment to recognize that you are having a thought and to set it aside to breathe in and to breathe out.
By staying with your breath,
You are training yourself to acknowledge that you are existence,
Experiencing sensations.
You are not the thoughts you have in your mind.
You are more than the sensations of your body.
You are consciousness experiencing your existence in the material world.
Breathing through your recovery can help you avoid disastrous scenarios of relapse.
It's important to remain compassionate and understand that there is not a perfect way to recover.
The way you will overcome your habits and addiction depends on your level of resilience and your desire to recover.
Breathing in and breathing out,
You can recognize yourself in your body and visualize yourself as an autonomous being capable of making a different decision so that when a thought of doing a harmful behavior enters your mind,
You have the resilience to say no,
To redirect,
To breathe in and to breathe out.
When sensations in your body are felt in the present moment,
You are able to acknowledge thoughts in your mind in the present moment as separate from the present moment of experiencing life as it is.
Many times we have thoughts about the past or the future.
It is powerful to hone our attention into the present moment.
When we acknowledge that we are in the middle of a crisis,
Feeling ourselves torn between re-engaging in destructive behavior and choosing not to,
We are coming back to the present moment.
The moment just before the decision is the most powerful moment.
Training this attention and awareness with meditation takes consistent practice.
You've made it almost 12 minutes sitting stoically with your attention on your breath.
For the next eight minutes,
I want you to only consider the way your breath feels in your body.
Sitting up tall,
Inhaling,
Feeling your belly rise and feeling the air leave your lungs.
Is there anywhere you're holding tension in your body?
Can you breathe in and breathe out and relax the tissues and muscles in your body?
Can you breathe in and breathe out and know that you are safe in the present moment?
Your breath happens automatically,
You don't have to think about breathing.
But when you bring your attention to the way your breath feels in your body,
The thoughts in your mind are less important.
The thoughts in your mind are not the focus.
Focus is on your breath.
Breathing in softly through your nose.
Exhaling calmly through your nose.
Begin to cultivate a rhythm to your breath.
Inhaling for the count of four.
Exhaling to the count of five.
Starting with this rhythm.
One,
Two,
Three,
Four.
One,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five.
Another breath in.
Starting at the top exhaling,
Releasing and softening every breath out.
Every moment is present awareness.
Every breath you are in the present moment.
All you have to do is breathe.
Calm your body with your breath.
Feeling your belly expand.
Feeling your face soften.
For the next five minutes,
Close your eyes.
Continuing to breathe.
Begin visualizing yourself in a moment of crisis.
When you felt compelled to engage in your destructive behavior and your addiction.
If you could see yourself from above and redirect yourself to make a different decision,
Can you consciously will yourself to come to your breath.
Feeling your breath in and out.
Can you consciously redirect yourself away from the destructive behavior?
So that when you feel overwhelmed in your mind,
You recognize that it is separate and distinct from your body.
You do not have to follow the thought in your head.
Calmly exhaling.
Gently opening your eyes.
Another body scan.
Is there any tension you are holding in your body?
Can you feel your belly filling with air and soften your jaw as you exhale?
Can you relax your fingers unclenching your fists maybe or your toes?
Feeling a sensation of floating,
Of hovering above your seat.
How is your breath?
Is it long,
Smooth and steady?
Is there anywhere you can relax?
As you feel your breath moving through you,
Can you redirect your thoughts to the present moment to where you are sitting here breathing in and out calmly?
Breathing through your nose,
Exhaling through your mouth,
Inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.
Letting your breath rise and fall through your body.
We'll slowly begin to bring ourselves back out of meditation.
Beginning by counting down our breath from 10.
Inhaling through your nose,
Exhaling through your mouth.
Inhaling through your nose,
Exhaling through your mouth.
Inhaling and exhaling.
Seven,
Inhaling and exhaling.
Six more breaths,
Inhaling and exhaling.
Six more breaths,
Inhale.
Exhale.
Four,
Inhale.
Exhale.
Last three,
Inhale.
Exhale,
Become gentle.
Very last two breaths,
Inhale.
Exhale and your last deep breath,
Inhaling and exhaling.
Allow small sensations to return to your body,
Animating your hands,
Wiggling toes,
Stretching arms overhead.
Taking your time to re-experience your surroundings with fresh senses.
I honor you wherever you are in your journey.
Namaste.
