When we stop turning away from hate,
We are able to see what lies within it.
Inside hate,
There are so many emotions.
But once hatred has opened and you can peek inside,
Even just a little,
You might get a whiff of this or that.
For some of us,
The first emotion we connect to is anger.
Anger is closest to hatred because it is the intensity and the fire that fuels our hatred.
No need to shield yourself from this.
In fact,
Tend to this fire and let it burn inside you.
It will not consume you.
Trust in your ability to be in the fire but not be consumed by it,
For you are infinite.
For some of us,
There is no anger,
Only a cavernous sense of longing and pain.
This is grief,
For you have experienced a great loss.
It's not the loss of love itself,
But the loss of something you once believed was true.
Something that maybe without you realizing it,
Became a part of you.
But whatever that was,
That's gone now,
And clutching onto that is causing you pain,
Creating this hatred.
But that's okay.
When you are ready to look up,
You will see that not all is lost.
Nothing is still there.
Hatred is such a complex emotion because within it,
There is so much.
There can be anger and grief,
But also shame and guilt,
Disappointment and nostalgia,
Vulnerability and courage.
See,
Hate is not just one emotion.
It's a combination of so many different feelings and the intensity of all those feelings at once.
We experience that as hate.
It's like if you take a lot of colors and mix them all together,
You get this brown-black color.
But if you look closely,
You can actually see a lot of the individual colors floating together.
It's like a thin film of gasoline on a puddle.
From afar,
It's a darkness.
But there's something beautiful if you look closely.
If you can look closely at yourself,
If you can slow down and stay with your feelings of hate,
Of anger,
Of frustration,
Of whatever emerges,
You will begin to see hatred as what it truly is.
If you can stay present with your experience,
If you can look into yourself and not turn away from the darkness,
You will eventually find the light.
Because the love that you may think has been corrupted by betrayal,
Corrupted by continuous disappointment,
Corrupted by hatred,
Has not been corrupted at all.
It has not been lost.
It is still there.
Full.
Beautiful.
Take a moment for yourself now.
What feelings are there beyond your hate?
You feel it in your heart.
It's the vacation and not the time that you can even assume that you're losing it.
Don't wait until you start feeling it.
Your emotions will create a new seeds that will be You
