The Desire Distraction Loop

Here is a frustrating truth: the more you worry about whether you will feel aroused, the less likely it becomes. Dr Lori Brotto describes the loop of worry, self-monitoring and self-judgment that keeps the brakes on desire, using the Dual Control Model developed by Bancroft and Janssen, in which sexual response has both an accelerator and brakes. She offers simple ways to interrupt each step, from naming the worry to shifting from checking to sensing and offering yourself kindness, and closes with a short self-compassion practice. This content is educational and is not a substitute for one to one professional care.